Comments from Distant Lover

Date Story title Comment
2010-04-10 11:57:18 Vicky I read a few paragraphs, skimmed the rest, and did not like it.
2011-07-16 14:09:13 TEENAGE GIRLS FOR SALE This story was far better than any I expected in the CAW7 contest to be. Prostitution has never been a vice that appealed to me. I expected the stories to be salacious, but this one was not.

From the beginning I wondered how the story would end. The denouement was unpredictable, but plausible.
2011-12-02 20:04:51 A HEAVEN FOR NINA This story was both fascinating and heart warming.
2012-06-12 11:21:36 THE MOON STONE This is an interesting story, but I think it began too slowly.
2012-11-05 11:15:57 THE MOON STONE, part 3 (THREE) This is generally a good story, but the first sentence somewhat prejudiced me against what followed, "Michael was freaked out and Danielle knew it."

"Freaked out" is slang. Slang should be restricted to dialogue. The most important part of a story is the first sentence. Rather than "freaked out," you should have used a word like "startled."