Comments from HelloSugar
|2008-11-18 02:21:27||Daddy molested me||I agree that it was rushed and seemed to run together.
Also, there are plenty of us that would willingly fuck our fathers or dogs (in stories at least) so the unwillingness doesn' t appeal to me but I'm sure it would to others,
The fine art of paragraphs is something many new writers would be well encouraged to learn.
|2008-11-18 02:23:49||Daddy molested me||I should add I've had a few or the "non consensual" would have been obvious to me.
Not bad, but I think a little work on writing style, say paragraphs and the like, would make you quite the appreciated writer.