Comments from Cha Cha
|2008-10-15 10:09:18||A young guy. An older woman||yummy story, well told|
|2008-10-15 19:21:08||Wish upon a star ch.1||a good start, but it needs a bit of work.
you start out sleeping by a campfire outdoors and wake up with an alarm clock in the bedroom. Call it a lack of imagination on my part, but the sex change shouldn't have also resulted in a complete change of location (thought the transformation of the bedroom for boy to girl was fine).
Also, help the reader out with spaces between paragraphs.
Finally you need to think about plots. Get him-her to do something more with this new body new gender. Have some fun with it. Develop the story.
|2008-10-15 19:35:36||Dads sex slave Jan||unreadable|
|2008-10-15 10:19:40||the most wholesome incest story ever written. fantastic job.|
|2008-10-17 22:52:02||Vampire Jesse||Okay as a first try. You do need a bit of work on the grammar and spelling.|