Comments from sexxxxxxxxxxxxx
|2014-07-21 02:39:44||the golden day with Sarah.||Your writing style is abysmal. You need to learn how to separate your story into paragraphs. You had my interest when I saw the title but when I opened the story and saw one GIGANTIC paragraph I didn't even bother to read it - it would be too difficult and aggravating.
One basic tip - I won't bother going into the many I could give you - when using dialog it should be separate from the story narration as well as each person's should be separate.
You seriously need to peruse some writing tips available either here or on the web.
|2009-07-13 23:04:52||How to make a little boy cry||You should be shot!|
|2009-07-17 17:33:46||From Pudman - I appreciate all of your kind comments, it's encouraging. I did write Ch 2 and submitted it on 7/12, I don't know why the hang-up and hope it will be posted soon. I've got a good start on a third chapter also. Again, Thank You all!!|
|2010-03-20 15:31:29||My Pregnant Neighbor||From the author - Sorry if anyone was disappointed by the shortness or just the simple BJ and foreplay in the first part. I transmitted the 2nd part on Friday and the 3rd part on Sat. I sincerely hope you enjoy the final 2 parts.|
|2010-03-20 16:23:13||Chicken Chicken||Simply Stupid!|