Comments from Daddycums
|2009-07-16 00:33:13||Quieting the Storms for Katie||That was intensely erotic! I agree about the flashbacks being a little too much. I personally would have reorganized it a little to turn them into a series of vignettes, but then, I'm not the author. It still works.
There were a few grammatical mistakes, but not enough to ruin it, especially since your choice of words really help to make the story come alive.
It's kind of a bittersweet story, not entirely happy but not really sad either. You do a really good job of running through a lot of emotions without it becoming sappy or confusing. The lesbian scenes are hot, but Katie's emotional conflict really drives the story and ties the scenes together with a common theme.
I'd love to see you continue this one. But then, I'm a sucker for an ultra happy ending, so I'd like to see it all work out in the end. Even if you don't continue it, it's still satisfying.
|2009-08-05 20:49:21||Nora||Very sexy! I disagree with the reader who suggested cutting 40% of it. He's obviously looking for a stroke story, which this is not. The sex is part of a larger tale, about a woman who is more than just a body. She's smart and ambitious, yet also loyal. The kind of woman any man would be lucky to have as a secretary or as a lover, or preferably both. The sexual tension mingled with the tension of the other conflict complement each other nicely.
I have only two minor criticisms. First, I would have liked to hear about the board meeting directly, especially Ken's reaction to the new and improved plan.
Second, I really hate the phrase "built like a brick shithouse." To me it implies smelly, lifeless, uninviting, lacking in curves or softness, and invoking no emotion but disgust. Who was the genius who first came up with the idea that it would be a good metaphor for a woman with a nice figure?
Other than that, I really enjoyed the story.
|2009-08-11 10:17:43||Party||Wow! Just wow! I just have one question. Can I come to your next party?|
|2009-08-16 23:20:00||This is, IMHO, one of the hottest stories by a new author that I've ever read. You have an amazing talent of gradually building up the eroticism and keeping the reader enthralled as you hint at the delights to come, then finally delivering.
I would recommend this to anyone who likes stories about brother-sister incest and older men with younger teenage girls.
|2009-08-24 14:02:34||Double Mistaken Identity||Despite the fact that it was more predictable than original, I really enjoyed it. I like this kind of "oops" story if it's done well, and this was done well. Turning the ol' switcheroo into a double-switcheroo was particularly creative. The only thing I would have liked better is if you didn't give it away before "the act."
Although I'm not really into mother-son incest, it would be interesting to see you write another version of this story from Ben's perspective.