Comments from mkhnt7
|2011-11-30 11:19:44||Happy Thanksgiving Aunt Amy||' “I think we can figure something out” I said smiling as I leaned in and sucked on her clit for a second and then fell asleep with my face in her pussy, as she fell asleep too. '
Narcolepsy must run in the family. And what happened to that cigarette? It caught the bed on fire and they were both burned alive.
There were also some problems with the continuity.
"I reached under her and grabbed her tit"
Implies something like doggy style.
"She screamed and squirted a little bit on my cock and belly and the rocked on my cock for a few more strokes and then collapsed into her bed,"
implies something like missionary(run-on sentence by the way). There was no mention of a change-up in their positioning. I guess this isn't really so much a problem with continuity as it is a symptom of the lack of detail.
There are a few other things but these stuck out to me the most. Otherwise I liked the story and I hope you keep writing. :)