Comments from Ed Itor
|2012-01-07 11:19:08||The Clan||Spelling & Grammar errors can be lessened by using "Word" or similar program. Then Copy/Paste it for submission.
This seems like it could have become a good series but you ended it too soon. You should have been a little more forthcoming on their being chased & given more info on how their army grew by meeting certain characters and why they picked that town, etc..
|2012-01-15 23:25:08||My Neighbor's Incest Part XIX The End||It has been 2 years now since bistander left us. This series is a testament of good writing techniques and its ending, like life is never what we expect or hope for.
May the authour be having the happy ending that he looked for himself.
|2012-01-28 23:52:47||Adam 4 - Seduced by Megan's Tutor||You should keep a list of your characters' names.
This girl's name was originally Brooke while Judy was Megan's 5 foot, heavy girlfriend whom he has already fucked in Chapter 2.
It should turn out that Abby is preggers by Adam and that is why she did the girlfriends father.
|2012-02-07 13:43:21||The Absolute Perfect Girl||It is layed beside me not lied.|
|2012-03-04 02:56:25||Sara Protective Dad Part 10||Finish it off with dr bastard and his goons getting their just deserts, have them in Colorado enjoying themselves but helping others too.
Do not let this slip into just being a sex romp, keep their adventure going.