Comments from Jswab
|2011-09-21 05:44:49||Tori, the highschool cumslut||Good story, but a few things. For people talking, use quotes, not apostrophes. Why is mind control a tag? At the start of "David had just put his books in his locker", and all the way down, there needs to be a break after one of the periods, as it looks like just one big paragraph. The more cluttered it is, the less good it looks.|
|2011-10-16 03:13:46||Girls at the beach||I would proof read this, because you have quite a few grammar errors, which makes it more difficult to masturbate to.|
|2011-11-16 17:17:45||Sleeping with Jorja (Part1)||I liked the story, and I vote that you continue. However, you may want to change the title to "Raping Jorja", as sleeping with sounds like she consented.|
|2011-12-06 11:35:09||Meeting Alyssa||*Sigh* I apologize for the errors with the italics.|
|2011-12-06 15:47:10||Meeting Alyssa||@2 Anon comment
For the most part, almost everything in this story happened. If I did make a part two, all of that would be made up. I'll start working on it later and see what I come up with. Thanks, everyone.