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Comments from moas

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Date Story title Comment
2008-05-03 00:55:47 The Awakening of Katie This story is generally good, but terribly disjointed. Your spelling and grammar truly suck, but you have potential. I'll look forward to part two, but I must say that if it is as screwed up as this one, I won't give it much favor. Take this for what it is......constructive criticism. You can do better.

George in Cincy
2008-05-03 01:01:54 The Awakening of Katie II Well, this one is still basically OK, but still fractual and spotty. The spelling and grammar are still bad (Spell Check will help with some of that) and you are just all over the place with your settings. You have good ideas, but you need continuity in your work. Also, I must ask a question regarding the intro to part one...why on earth did you say that the story was a 'three hour read'? I plowed through it in about 18 minutes. Just wondering.
For your own benefit, take the time to review your work several times before submitting it. Trust me...it will lead to fewer bad reviews.

George in Cincy
2008-05-08 00:07:55 Movie Theatre in the Summer I have spent the last year reading and writing stories on this site and I am sad to say that this was one of the very worst. Your spelling and grammar were horrible. The story had no 'life' to it. That means it was not the least bit believable. It was predictable and juvenile. PLEASE don't believe those who say they liked it. These are the ones who only want a fuck piece. You can do better.
2008-07-13 00:36:17 Forget the nay-sayers, the story was well done. I do agree that you should concentrate on details, but you never DID say that Jenna locked the Front door, so someone walking in is entirely plausible. Looking forward to part two.
George in Cincy
2008-11-03 12:55:20 Sherei, Daddy's Baby I think the term 'Jack' is looking for is 'quotation marks'. Really...inverted commas? Where does this jerk get off commenting on ANY writing? Ignore the prick. Well done.

George in Cincy
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