Comments from Sybil 16
|2012-01-29 23:59:59||Santa's Perverted Helper ( or Susie Learns What Happens To Naughty Girls )||Wow! I very much enjoyed it. Great build-up. And I loved the fact that he actually is Santa's helper. Surprising touch of romance here as well.|
|2012-02-05 13:53:48||Hanging My Neighbor's Holiday Lights||Do you think that some people just read too quickly in order to get to the wanking material? Rutger, I had no problem following the ages or the timeline. That doesn't mean that the sex wasn't hot! With this kind of story, you need a good strong build-up or it's not realistic enough, and you gave us that. In order for her to be the kind of seductress she is, it was necessary to give us a glimpse into the type of man he is. Her character is only seductive enough if he is a bit reluctant. Simply a great story here.
Just a couple of observations: First, you don't give us any clue as to why she wants him. If he never questions it, then it's possible she's doing this with every guy in the neighborhood. Raises questions about the pregnancy. Second, you have set up a sequel, esp. given that he doesn't want a relationship. How do you up the ante from here as far as the sex goes?
|2012-02-12 18:34:10||CAW 10 *The Best Decision I Made*||Very good. Tight writing. Good luck in CAW 10.|