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Comments from satinshirt

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Date Story title Comment
2011-05-22 09:17:01 This story was stolen from another site, how do I know? Because I wrote it.
2018-04-17 23:00:35 Jen's Life Chapter one You don't say how old Jen is, but I'm guessing if you did, this story would be rejected. So as a reader, we have to decide for ourselves how old we want Jen to be.

Your use of paragraphs makes it so much easier to read, but I think a small amount of editing with re-wording of some sentences and better punctuation could actually improve this story, resulting in a much higher rating.

You may also like to consider that most stories are told in the past tense making it easier to write and easier for the reader to understand, although writing in the present tense isn't actually wrong, neither is switching between the two as you have done in places, but I suspect wasn't intentional. I would also like to see you quote what each person is saying using speech marks.

It's very rare that I read other people stories and actually read to the end, I normally lose interest long before then, but I thoroughly enjoyed this story and intend to read the other chapters very soon.
2018-02-11 13:19:12 RAPED ON THE WAY TO WORK kel69, Thank you for the comment, I appreciate it even though it's negative. Without criticism I can't correct things in future stories.
2018-02-11 13:19:22 RAPED ON THE WAY TO WORK kel69, Thank you for the comment, I appreciate it even though it's negative. Without criticism I can't correct things in future stories.
2018-02-15 22:23:56 RAPED ON THE WAY TO WORK I believe she was raped 12 times, it doesn’t actually say 12 different men, so I suppose it depends how you interpret it. So maybe just 3 or 4 men taking turns. As for nobody noticing, how many people in real life actually want to get involved or give witness statements? It’s much easier to turn a blind eyes, or just pretend it didn’t happen.

But it’s only fiction, and it was written after I received ideas and requests from readers on another site. So I just put them all together.
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