Comments from Archaic

Date Story title Comment
2008-10-23 23:16:56 Tracy And Dad Not bad, but it needs editing. This one should have been shelved for a few days then re-read. The names were hard to follow in some places and the dialogue was pretty choppy. Its not bad, you just need to slow down. I have read most of your stuff, you do better work then this.
2008-11-12 23:37:14 Karen And Kelly (The Whole Story) It was well written, but the change of person was pretty akward. I also agree the mom/dad part probably did not add to the story. If you are going in first person you need to make a cleaner transistion betwen charectors. The descriptions were very well done, the sex was solid, and the characters were believable. Keep writing!
2010-10-03 01:48:43 Holy paragraph abuse germ, that was tough to read. Take the extra time to edit it BEFORE you post it. Not bad though. You jumped 'in' a bit quick. Keep writing.
2011-01-06 23:15:50 This story was posted years ago by a different author.
2011-06-11 01:21:32 Father/Daughter bonding part II Holy paragraph abuse batman! That was hard to read, but probably pretty good. Write it in word to get the formatting right then post it in here. I might not have used 'K' names for both girls, a bit hard to follow. Keep up the good work!