Comments from wojomartin
|2012-05-17 00:19:19||Perverted Jokes||Thanks for giving me a supply of material I'm going to be tempted to tell in the lunchroom at work and get myself in trouble for! Definite upvote, especially for the UW punchline in the first joke. I have friends who are UW grads.|
|2012-06-12 19:52:34||GIRL WHO CAME BACK||Your info up top says that you're only 20. If so, you've really got nice control of your characters for someone that young. Your narrator has a very believable inner life and voice. Even though she's not the point-of-view character, and the third person narrative doesn't allow us into Amy's inner monologue, she feels as if she has one as well.
Characters are stubborn and sticky people and will make sure they let the audience know if you have their actions violate their nature. You tell their story well, and they come to life nicely for you. Good show, mate. Good show. (See, I'm American, so when I try to act British I sound ridiculous. You wouldn't have made that mistake!)
I see a future for writing that extends well beyond internet sex stories. But they are fun to write, aren't they?
|2012-06-25 18:35:32||Progenitor 1: The Beginning||Very good and very imaginative.|
|2013-03-27 01:01:56||Lovers Without Realizing It||Wonderful story with a very believable narrator. I would have been a little brokenhearted had Diane not fallen in love with her at the end. That means I must have been completely buying into the story. Nicely done.|
|2013-08-10 23:51:01||Twincest Sabrina and Katrina's Story||A very promising beginning. I definitely gave you a positive for this. I'll have to get to the other chapters soon. I even noticed you had another series, and I'll try to get to those as well.
Obviously as a dude my opinion on how well another dude writes female characters carries only so much weight, but I like Bree and find your use of third person limited omniscience from her point of view believable and accessible. The mind you've created for her feels right. I'll be interested to see where you go with Trina as the series progresses. Nicely done so far.