Comments from darthel0101
|2014-07-20 03:54:44||The Seeding 3||I like how you are writing this story. Please continue.|
|2014-06-09 11:18:51||My Uncle Benny||It is always good to see a story from more than one point of view. You are telling your story well and I would definitely like to read more of it.|
|2014-07-02 08:45:41||the charizard problem||Paragraph spacing is one point; punctuation is another; visualization is a third and details a fourth.
Finally, there is the one aspect which completes all stories - the reader's emotional involvement with the characters. This is missing.
The only positive aspect was actually a negative as well - the story's brevity.
|2014-07-18 20:34:26||Galactic Vendetta Chapter 01||There might be some minor grammar issues but nothing which disrupted my enjoyment of the building story. If you are concerned about word usage, my suggestion (from something that I saw elsewhere) would be to re-read the story backwards to prevent your mind from filling in what you expect instead of what you see.
I am hoping to see more of your work in the near future.
|2014-07-18 20:31:27||Galactic Vendetta Chapter 01||I am posting this before reading, based on the comment at the beginning of the text.
If the story contains slavery and rape then I would recommend adding those tags to the story even if they do not get incorporated into an individual chapter. This will hopefully prevent somebody who has not read the char list from being surprised when they get further into the drama.
- - - - now, let's find out how you tell a story.
[panting with anticipation]