Comments from piper
|2008-10-18 16:40:19||My New Life||Ok, you asked for comments, here you are. Don't be mad at me.
Every story needs a challenge for its hero. That spontaneous gender change is definitely one. Obviously, Jim's mind has been altered to become feminine, too. Which destroys somewhat the whole point of your story. No man who had just lost his dick would think of going shopping for lingerie and shoes! We hate shopping, and wear clothes until a kind soul throws them away for us (and I tell you that as a gay man).
The episode with Beth is good, but you could have spent more time on describing Jim's new, unknown feelings.
The bar scene is less credible. The idea of Jim visiting a bar is ok, but he should feel much less comfortable once he remembers his new body and notices the men's greedy looks. Straight men are usually horrified by the thought of sucking dick and getting fucked. You could have described his struggle until he finally accepts his new body and let him/her have sex with men, as the resolution of the story
|2010-07-11 15:24:20||Prostitue Punishment||How can those gangsters look into the mirror? Brutal cowards|