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Ass Hair Lemonade

If you want to make excellent lemonade, you have to start by making “Sugar Syrup” (also known as “Simple Syrup” “Bar Syrup” “Simple Sugar Syrup” or “Rock Candy Syrup”). The same is true when you are making Ass Hair Lemonade.

While most recipes for Sugar Syrup call for two parts sugar – one part water, I prefer a Sugar Syrup for lemonade or ass hair lemonade made with one part water – one part sugar. This is also in keeping with the traditional Lemonade starting proportions of 1 cup of water, 1 cup of sugar, one cup of lemon juice.

Before making the Sugar Syrup, get a razor and spread a portion of newspaper on the floor. Stand on the newspaper while you dry shave off your ass hair. A dry shave is recommended (no water and of course, no shaving cream) because it is easier to collect the ass hair when you are done.

Collect the ass hair and make the Sugar Syrup.

To make “Sugar Syrup” (also known as “Simple Syrup” “Bar Syrup” “Simple Sugar Syrup” or “Rock Candy Syrup”), bring one cup of water to a boil in a small saucepan. Reduce the heat and add one cup of sugar to the boiling water.

Once the sugar has completely dissolved, remove the saucepan from the heat and let it cool a bit. Stir the ass hair into the cooling Sugar Syrup. This will ensure effective dispersal of the sugar and the ass hair into the lemonade instead of having the sugar sink to the bottom, and the ass hair float to the top.


While the “Sugar Syrup” (also known as “Simple Syrup” “Bar Syrup” “Simple Sugar Syrup” or “Rock Candy Syrup”) is cooling, extract the juice from 4 to 6 lemons to make 1 cup of lemon juice. Add the juice and the sugar/ass hair water to a pitcher. Add around 4 cups of cold water, more or less according to taste. Refrigerate 30 to 40 minutes.
Serve with ice, sliced lemons.
Serves 6.

You will find that the Ass Hair Lemonade is different depending on how much ass hair it has in it. A hairy ass makes for a thicker Ass Hair Lemonade. Italian male Ass Hair Lemonade would be much thicker than Swedish Lass Ass Hair Lemonade. Try as many different kinds of Ass Hair Lemonade as you can!
14 comments

Anonymous readerReport 

2014-09-28 06:13:32
I don't have a very hairy ass, and neither does my wife or mother for that matter, so lately I've been resorting to buying my ass hair on eBay. My advice is to read the description carefully, as you said, all ass hair is not the same. And whatever you do, stick with a ass hair seller with a high rating. One jackass sold me a package that I don't think was even ass hair. The joker probably shaved his cat or something. Did taste good though, I'd give it that much.

anonymous readerReport 

2012-03-26 14:52:17
That's fucking disgusting!!!!

Anonymous readerReport 

2009-08-02 07:14:59
yum, ive had this before...

Anonymous readerReport 

2008-08-27 00:44:12
What the shit?

READERReport 

2007-05-07 18:52:32
fuck me with a dildo

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