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One warm summer like October evening in Nebraska some lesbians were having an ice cream social. Some lesbians were getting nervous that they might run out of “Rocky Road” ice cream. A couple of lesbians got into an argument about running out of Rocky Road ice cream.

“God damn it to bloody pussy hell! We’re going to run out of Rocky Road ice cream! That’s the best seller! I’d like to pluck every hair out of the dyke’s pussy responsible for such an oversight!” said an overweight diesel dyke lesbian wearing bib overalls over a red flannel shit. Her name was Jill or JJ. She was a loud mean commie pinko Trotsky lover. She actually looked like Leon Trotsky without the beard. JJ DID have a slight little Trotsky Moustache. She had a Masters degree in Byzantine history

“Hey chill out.” Said a different overweight lesbian in bib overalls and a green flannel shirt. Her name was Liz and she was a sweet earth crunchy dyke lesbian. “There are children here! How are we suppose to spread out gay agenda to the children if your over there swearing like a sailor? Wouldn’t you like to see some of these little girls grow up to be tender legal baby dykes?”

Suddenly, Jill’s cell phone rang.

“Hello” said Jill.

“JJ, Jill! Oh thank god!” said the voice on the other end. “This is Kat.”

Kat was Jill’s 20 year old baby femme dyke.

“I’m kinda busy, Kat.” Said Jill “I’m at the Nebraska Lesbian Ice Cream Social and we’re about to run out of “Rocky Road” ice cream. I’m about to kick some loud mouth know-it-all earth crunchy dyke lesbian’s ass”

“Well, this is really important! Pleaded Kat. “I woke up and its July 29, 1014. I’m at Kleidion and the Byzantine Emperor Basil II has just defeated a Bulgarian army and taken 15,000 Bulgars prisoners and he’s dividing them into groups of 100. What’s going on here?”

“The Byzantine Emperor Basil II was also the leader of the Greek Orthodox Church. Byzantium was a theocratic state. He is also known as Basileios II Boulgaroktonos or Basil the Bulgar Slayer.”

“Oh my!” exclaimed Kat, “Is he going to kill all these Bulgars?”

“No,” replied Jill, “Silly girl, he was the leader of the Eastern Orthodox church! He was a total Christian. He divided the 15,000 Bulgars into groups of 150 groups of 100 so he could blind 99 out of each 100 in both eyes and the remaining 1 in only one eye. Then he chained them together in groups of 100 with the one eyed men in the front of each group of 100 so each one eyed man could lead his group home. Tsar Samuil of Bulgaria died of a heart attack at the sight.”

“Oh. Ok” said Kat. “I just hope I don’t totally wreck my gorgeous stretch less Capri style footless flower lace tights. They’re black 20 denier matte footless sheer to the waist with no gusset. They’re 94% nylon, 6% elastane. They add a little glamour to any outfit. They’re fabulous and ideal for a party or any night when I’m feeling extravagant. They’re extremely comfy and flattering to wear. I get so much attention in them. Its just I’m feeling a bit strange about this whole dividing15,000 men into groups of 150 groups of 100 so 99 out of each 100 can be blinded in both eyes and the remaining 1 in only one eye, then chaining them together in groups of 100 with the one eyed men in the front of each group of 100 so each one eyed man could lead his group home business has me feeling a little down.”

“Oh, your wearing your gorgeous black 94% nylon, 6% elastane 20 denier matte footless sheer to the waist with no gusset stretch less Capri style footless flower lace tights?” gushed Jill, “Are you wearing that flirty pink belted micro mini skirt with the matching top? I love how that scintillating outfit looks on you.”

“Oh thank you, Jill” said Kat “That is a very revealing micro mini skirt with a sexy buckle belt and a matching sporty top is great for a night of showing off what I got, but I’m not wearing that. I’ve got on that pair of super sexy jean short shorts with all the pockets cut out and a chic minimalist grey lightweight lycra with elastic underband tube top. Its ideal for wearing with off shoulder or strapless clothing.”

“Oh that is cute on you too!” said Jill “I just want to gobble you up and spaghetti suck your clitoral region.”

“Oh gosh golly that would be great!” Said Kat “I’ll try to get back there soon. I want some ice cream. I can’t get back before I’m talking to you or I can cause a ripple or rip in the fabric of space time continuum.

“Oh for sure.” said Jill “I’ll be looking for you!”

Jill hung up her cell phone and looked back at Liz...



2007-09-30 09:04:17
Was this some attempt at a lesbian Cosmopolitan? What the fuck's with the paragraph going on about the footless tights? I cannot believe you posted this shit for other people to read, please do NOT ever type anything on the net again. You suck.


2007-07-10 01:04:50
Well, this certainly proves that you can write the whackest shit and some people will actully belive that it's pr0n.

Two words my polysyllabically deprived friend- Strunk and White's. And until you know what that means keep the fuck off the keyboard with this automaton sounding tripe.


2007-07-03 18:16:49
load of shit


2007-07-02 11:53:18
WTF? what is this some code for terrorists? Give it up, this is the dumbest crap. Again we need a ZERO RATING. Get into re-hab!


2007-07-02 05:21:22
i agree with all the bad comments ....


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