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Introduction:

This story is so true, it will hurt your teeth.
“Yes…this is a fine day” Liz Erd thought to herself.

Liz Erd was putting on her black petite seamless medium padded, and lined cup push up stretch lace bra with lace trim, back wings and ½ inch adjustable straps. She had just put on her imported one size fits most sexy simple and comfortable ruffle turquoise nylon/spandex thong with cotton lined crotch for the first time since she had gotten rid of a vaginal infection which had afflicted her with severe itching, irritation, redness, and a cottage cheesy vaginal discharge. Her tampon socket had also smelled like a dead horse stuffed with rotten fish and bad limburger cheese.

“Oh my lord sweet Jesus!” said Liz Erd “Here I am putting on my black petite seamless medium padded, and lined cup push up stretch lace bra with lace trim, back wings and ½ inch adjustable straps which I wore regularly during the treatment for my vaginal infection when my curdish cunt cream had the consistency of cream corn or cottage cheese depending on what day of the week it was. It’s so wonderful to be well again. I didn’t know what to think when that garlic dove suppository was first recommended to me by a medical professional. I mean who would think that pealing away the outer skin of a clove of garlic without cutting or nicking the garlic clove then inserting it into the vagina for half a day…”

Suddenly the phone rang.

“Hello” said Liz Erd

“Hello Liz Erd, this is Lemon Jizzwhistle” said the voice on the phone.

“Oh Lemon!” gushed Liz Erd, “I’m so glad you called.”

“How are you, Lizzie?”asked Lemon Jizzwhistle

“Oh I’m much better now. I had a vaginal infection.” replied Liz Erd. “I’m fine now. When you called, I was just putting on my black petite seamless medium padded, and lined cup push up stretch lace bra with lace trim, back wings and ½ inch adjustable straps which I wore regularly during the treatment for my vaginal infection when my curdish cunt cream had the consistency of cream corn or cottage cheese depending on what day of the week it was. One day, it actually had the appearance, consistency, and according to my lover Meg, the taste of apple sauce! It’s so wonderful to be well again. I didn’t know what to think when that garlic dove suppository was first recommended to me by a medical professional. I mean who would think that pealing away the outer skin of a clove of garlic without cutting or nicking the garlic clove then inserting it into the vagina for half a day would clear up a vaginal infection, but it sure seem like it has. While I had the vaginal infection, I had to wear big lightweight breathable hi- cut brief style cotton granny panties because my slit was oozing out a curdled cunt cream that had the consistency of cream corn or cottage cheese depending on what day of the week it was and would inevitably saturate and ooze out the wings of my panty liner to dry and crust and stain the big lightweight breathable hi- cut brief style cotton granny panties I had to wear. It was a vicious cycle.”

“It certainly sounds vicious!” replied Lemon Jizzwhistle.

“Speaking of vicious cycles, sometimes, mat yeast from the anus can re-infect the vagina, seeping along the “sweat track” between the two orifices.” Remarked Liz Erd. “A garlic suppository in the corn hole can prevent this from occurring, so that’s what I did. I’ve spent the last 3 months walking through life with a clove of garlic up my snatch AND a clove of garlic up my bunger.”

“Praise Jesus!” Remarked Lemon Jizzwhistle


“Well, I must say, “said Liz Erd “Before I put on my black petite seamless medium padded, and lined cup push up stretch lace bra with lace trim, back wings and ½ inch adjustable straps which I wore regularly during the treatment for my vaginal infection I put on my imported one size fits most sexy simple and comfortable ruffle turquoise nylon/spandex thong with cotton lined crotch for the first time since my cunt was oozing out a curdish cunt cream had the consistency of cream corn or cottage cheese depending on what day of the week it was. Could you hold on a second? I want to finish putting on my black petite seamless medium padded, and lined cup push up stretch lace bra.”

“Certainly Liz, take your time” said Lemon Jizzwhistle.

Liz Erd snapped the connectors on the front cups and adjusted the black petite seamless medium padded, and lined cup push up stretch lace bra so she was comfortable.

“When I was eight, I got a horse for my birthday. “said Liz Erd “When I was ten, the horse died in the stable and was not discovered for 2 weeks. I found the dead horse and smelled it. When I had the vaginal infection, cunt smelled like that dead horse stuffed with rotten fish and bad limburger. Try feeling sexy with your pussy oozing out a curdish cunt cream with the consistency of cream corn or cottage cheese depending on what day of the week it is. Try sitting at a bar with a short skirt on trying to attract a man with a cunt that smells like a dead horse stuffed with rotten fish and bad limburger. I picked up a guy at the “Town Pump” when I first got the vaginal infection. I took him home and I sucked on his rod for about five minutes before he started making his way down to my tampon socket. The smell must have hit him hard. He stopped and let out a retch. I let him shoot a wad of not sack squirt down my gaping gullet. I was lying on my back. He shot his load, gave me a Cleveland steamer and left.”

“Wow” replied Lemon Jizzwhistle.

“In fact, I felt a rush of genital and breast vasocongestion and sensitivity just before you called.” Confessed Liz Erd “It seems as if my persistent sexual arousal syndrome is kicking in. I was thinking about heading down to the “Town Pump” and picking up four strangers and get one guy to fuck me up the ass doggie style while another guy is under me fucking my pussy with the other two guys positioned in front of me so I can stuff both of their cocks in my mouth at once. . Then I might try to get the four guys to all squirt their hot loads of protein rich baby batter into my gaping yapper so I could gargle with it before swallowing it down. You want come?”

“Maybe after church. Tonight is the “The Feast of the Assumption”. Replied Lemon Jizzwhistle

“Oh I’m going to church first too.” Said Liz Erd. “I may love cock, but I love Jesus too!”


fin
7 comments

READERReport

2008-01-12 01:23:50
LOL why are you so retarded?

READERReport

2007-07-14 16:31:38
this is a horrible story. but, the arsehole who wrote it has the sense of humor of the man who made the opossum. this is some hilarious shit. whoever, please stop writing stories like this in the SEX STORY SECTION

READERReport

2007-07-12 00:53:54
WELL FUCK ME DEAD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

READERReport

2007-07-11 01:28:06
Hey, I have a sense of humor, but this id crap. Let's get this rating down where it belongs (and where the writer no doubt wants it). 1/10

READERReport

2007-07-10 16:21:45
Hilarious!! Good to see someone with a sense of humor. I'm givin' this thing a 10/10. More people should see this.

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