Lisa was my oldest daughter. As kids go she fit the pattern: oldest would be the quiet thinking type, second oldest the trouble maker and so on. She had just turned 15 going on 26, she had the looks of her mother: her height and hair color, her build, even her sense of humor. Looking at her sometimes I felt nostalgic.
She saw me looking at her one time and commented, "You look sad dad."
"Yeah, a little."
"You miss mom don't you." She knew me.
"Yeah I do honey," I confessed, "you remind me of her at times."
Lisa came over and gave me a hug, a warm, tight, close hug, "I miss her too dad." We held each other and I realized it was something else I missed - the closeness, the physical affection. I was suddenly aware of her breasts pressed against me. I didn't back off, maybe I was being selfish, but it felt good.
Lisa had 'adoted' the mother role in the family since Jennifer had died, she made sure the younger kids got the things they needed if I wasn't around. She helped me plan things and even sat in to help balance the checkbook and consider our expenses. It wasn't past me to put my hand over hers and give it a squeeze when we were close together like that or to remind her how much of a help she was. When I could I tried to give her some extra liberties or more allowance to make up for the extra things she was doing instead of being a teenager.
There was a night when we had the younger kids in bed and she and I were up watching a movie. I was sitting on the couch and she had been leaning against me. The movie was a little long and she had dozed off while being snuggled up to me. I realized she'd gone to sleep with my arm around her and her head on my chest. I had intended to raise my arm up while not disturbing her too much but the motion was awkward and my hand accidentally cupped her breast. I froze there, suddenly afraid I'd wake her and have her discover my hand in the wrong spot. I could tell she wasn't wearing a bra and I could feel the warmth of her through her tee shirt. It might have been curiousity or my own selfish motives but I gave her breast a gentle caress, I felt the firmness of her and at the same time was aware of her delicate softness. I realized this was my daughter and moved my hand off her. I gave her a nudge and although I meant it to be innocent the Freudian slip popped out, "Lisa, I want to take you to bed."
She mumbled an "Okay."
I knew what I said but it wasn't what I meant, well I'm pretty sure it wasn't. I still felt the memory of her breast in my hand. I scooped her up off the couch and took her to her room, she hooked her arms around my neck while I carried her. She was wearing her night time tee shirt and pj bottoms but I felt physically closer to her than I ever had before. I layed her on her bed and got a blanket over her and looked at her angelic sleepy face. I paused to move the hair back away from her eyes and mouth and admired the gentle beauty of her. I kissed her on the lips, just a little longer than I should have and told her good night and that I loved her. She caught me in her arms and pulled me close, "I love you too daddy." I kissed her again but just a peck this time then I got out of there.
I was disturbed with myself, what I was feeling and what I was thinking weren't the kinds of things I should be doing. When I kissed Lisa I felt that I wanted to climb into bed with her. I had to take control of myself for her sake, she was just a girl, in fact my daughter and I was thinking of her and sex. This couldn't be this way.
I tried to get back to our normal routine, shopping, cooking, the typical family stuff but Lisa would do little things that would just set me on fire. She'd hook her arm through mine as we walked through the store, or lean her head on my shouder as we stood near each other or if I was doing the bills she'd come up behind me and rest her hands on my shoulders the same way her mother did. More and more I was wanting to respond to her attentions in ways I couldn't express.
It was one morning before she left for school when she came up to give me hug goodbye, in the way she did she pulled me close to her and held me tight. I knew her arms were around me but all I could feel were her breasts against me. I pulled away from her rather suddenly.
"Daddy?" She asked me in a calm voice, "What's the matter?"
I couldn't say what I was thinking and she sensed my hesitation she pulled me into a close hug again and caressed my back lightly, "You can talk to me dad, what's going on?" She sounded reassuring.
"It's, well..." I fumbled for the words, "I love you Lisa and..."
"I love you too daddy," She returned.
"No, it's just that..," She gave me a squeeze to urge me on, "Well it's... you're very close to me Lisa and..," I was about to confess my fears and desires all in one sentence, "Lisa, when you're close like this my body has been responding to you. I, uh, I've been wanting to take you to bed Lisa. My bed."
She backed off a little but kept her arms around me and looked me right in the eye. She wasn't shocked, she wasn't afraid. She had let me say what I needed to say and didn't judge me for it. "Daddy it's ok," she held me closer and a little tighter, "nothing bad is going to happen. It's going to be okay. We'll be okay." She looked up and me and smiled in a way that made me feel relaxed. She put a kiss on my cheek and told me again that it'd be okay then left for school.
I was a little stunned, she had accepted what I said without blowing up, or being afraid or rejecting me. I loved her for that, she brought a sense of peace to me I hadn't known in some while. There was indeed a special relationship between us and I was very appreciative of it. I knew now that nothing was going to happen and I was happy for it. I could let go of my stress and fears and get back to being my normal self.
Telecommuting made my life easier, I could be around the house more often than if I had to drive into the city; the downside was my work was always there and there were times when I'd work later than I should have but all in all it was a benefit. Lisa got home from school and came into my office smiling, she gave me a peck on the cheek and told me she was going to her girlfriends house, she'd be back in time for dinner. I suppose that was the moment I was waiting for all day. I thought maybe what I had told her this morning had put her in a state of shock and her reaction had been muted but seeing her now, happy and carefree made me feel good. This really was all behind us.
The kids were in bed and I was laying on mine reading a textbook on the properties of elastic fluids, doing some research for work. Lisa came into my room and flopped down on the bed next to me, she grabbed the corner of the book and gave it a jiggle, "Whatcha doing dad?"
"Working actually. What are you doing?"
"Working? Daddy it's after five o'clock you should be taking a break."
"Oh really and are you going to pay the bills next month?" I cajoled.
"No," she giggled, "but you can't work all the time."
"Fine, but tell me what I should be doing then."
"I dunno, I thought we could just hang out for a while."
I closed the book and set it on my night stand, I turned to lay on my side so I was facing her, both of us with our heads propped up on our arms, "Okay, we can do that. How was your day then?"
"Good, yeah, it was good. School was ok and when I went to Carries house this afternoon she some new MP3's we listened to that I liked."
I laughed alittle and asked her, "What the hell are MP3's?"
It was her turn to laugh, "Music dad, like your old CDs but on the computer."
We grinned at each other and there was a moment of silence, she inched a little coser to me, "Dad?"
"I want to be there for you."
"Honey you have been, you've done so much for me and our family, maybe too much at times - you still need to be a teenager to and go out and do stuff too."
"I do, but that's not what I meant. I mean I want to be here for you here."
There must have been an obvious perplexity showing on my face, I wasn't getting her point.
"Dad, when we were watching the movie the other night," she paused for a moment, "I wasn't asleep."
It took me a second to realize what she was saying, I felt the blood rush to my face.
She put her hand to my cheek and said, "Daddy, it's ok. I want to be here for you."
"Lisa," I collected my thoughts, "I love you honey but that's really something we shouldn't be doing. It's just been a while for me and I needed to get control over how my body was responding and..."
She took my free hand and placed it on her breast and held it there. "Daddy, what you said this morning, I wanted you to say it. I've wanted it for a long time."
My mind went a little cloudy, I was distinctly aware of my hand on her breast and I could feel her nipple stiffening against my palm. I glanced at her crotch and could amost image being in her, the warmth, the wetness, releasing into her. Imagining her sharing herself with me, I felt the stirrings of an erection. I seemed to come back to my senses, "Honey, what I was talking about this morning was sex, not just touching. It's more than you need to be doing right now, I mean you've never had sex and.." I had to ask, "You haven't had sex, have you?"
"No daddy, but I want to with you." She looked me in the eye and repeated herself, "I want to have sex with you daddy." She pressed my hand into her breast. Before I could protest again she kissed me, not the hello/goodbye peck of a kiss, it was the soft sensual kiss of a woman. She held my hand to her breast and began to kiss me deeply, I felt when she opened her mouth slightly for more and I moved my tongue to meet hers, she took her hand off mine and let me caress and explore her breast; she traced a fingertip along my back and shoulder. When we broke off the kiss she stayed close to me, nuzzling me some and putting kisses on me.
God I missed this closeness. The feel of her, the warmth of her body, the smell of her hair all made me feel a little lost and dizzy. I wanted to sink into her, I wanted to join with her and lose myself in her. We kissed again and then I lay back on my pillow. I didn't want to reject her and I didn't want to give this up either but I was going to have to find a way out of it. We lay there for a few minutes in silence, she was still trailing her fingertip along my chest and my stomach. I was enjoying her touch. I pulled her close to me and kissed her several more times before I fell back again. She lay her head on my chest and I hugged her with the arm I had around her. I was worried about several things, "What if we didn't do this tonight honey?"
"That'd be ok." She told me in a comforting voice.
I relaxed some at that. I was definately turned on, I was loving the touch and feel of her but when I thought about putting my hand to her crotch everything just stopped. My body was repsonding to the touch of a woman but when it felt like it was going to go further the thought of her being my daughter put the brakes on everything. I was trying to find a way out of this without making it all a drama scene.
I figured at least for tonight we could stop this and then I'd try to work the situation away from this happening; she was moving her hand across my chest. Just when I was thinking I could send her back to bed she wiggled in a little closer to me and put one of her legs over mine. Figures, I was ready to send her away and she was getting closer. The next thing she did caught me completely off guard, she pushed herself against my thigh. I didn't do anything and she did it again, it was a definate pelvic thrust. She did it a third time then she started developing a slow and deliberate rhythm. I found myself tightening my thigh muscle against her to increase the pressure on her, that just made her bear down on me harder. She kissed me again, a deep kiss, her lips parted and she brought her tongue up to meet mine. I felt her lift off my thigh but she kept the kiss going. A second later she took my hand and slid it under the waistband of her pj bottoms. She wan't wearing any panties. She pushed my hand down between her legs and there was no avoiding the wetness there. My fingertip naturally found it's way into her. She kept her hand over mine and I felt her pushing my finger deeper into her, then she'd release it and my finger would slide back out, then she'd press it back into herself.
She held me with her kiss while she used my hand to stimulate herself. I began pressing into her of my own accord and she let me do it on my own. I almost stopped when she removed her hand and I felt her wiggling some then I realized she was pulling her pjs down, she worked them down to about her knees then put her hand back over mine and pushed my finger into herself again, deeper this time.
My eyes were closed but I knew what was there, she was wet and exposed. I was fingering my daughter and she was letting me do it; she had led me to it. I didn't realize I had such a powerful erection until I felt her rub me through my shorts, there was no hesitation in me turning my hips back a little so she could get me easier. Even through the fabric she felt good, she ran her hand along the length of me and reached down to cup my balls. God she felt good, a minute of that and I told her I was going to cum.
"Not yet daddy" And she pulled her hand away, she began pulling my shorts down, I raised myself up to help her, she got them off enough to get all of me out into the open. Then I felt her moving as she took off her pjs. We were both still laying on our sides, she got her leg up over both of mine and positioned herself to take me. The head of my dick got warm and wet then she pushed down. My hips came up and took me the rest of the way in her.
"Cum in me daddy, you need to cum in me."
That was all it took, I shook from my orgasm as I filled her. Our fluids mixed and ran back out onto us. I was trembling from having cum so hard. She moved against me a little and I felt the aftershock contractions of my orgasm in her.
She pulled me tighter to her and kissed me, "That was good daddy, you needed to do that didn't you?"
I couldn't deny it, it was probably the strongest and longest I had ever cum. My quivering stopped and I could feel I was still hard, I rolled her over onto her back and lay on her, I began sliding myself in and out of her again, she began moving with me, she was willing to give herself to me again. I realized what she was doing and I told her to stop, "This one is for you honey. I want you to cum on me now." Her motions changed, she was letting me make her feel good and was responding to it, I felt her hips raise against me as she got close. I didn't remember my shorts coming off but I realized I had the freedom of motion with my legs as she moved under me.
Maybe it was my experience or maybe it was because she was so much like her mother but I seemed to automatically know what felt good to her and I did it for her. She started some labored breathing then she tilted her hips up to get me as deep as possible into her as she came. We lay there together, still joined and enjoying the moment.
A dark thought occurred to me, "Oh crap."
"Daddy? What is it?"
"Nope, it's okay daddy, I've been taking the pill for two months."
"How did you get on the pill, how do you even know about all that?" I asked her
"Mom told me daddy. She told me about sex and there's a clinic downtown where you can get birth control, I had to tell them I was sixteen."
I understood the second thing but.., "Honey, that was almost two years ago. What did mom tell you?"
Lisa calmly described her conversations with her mother, "She told me about sex and that there would be a time when you would need this. She told me about the kinds of things you liked like touching and being close. I've been wanting to be there for you since she told me but it was only lately I could tell you were missing mom more and more so I went and got the pills."
Jennifer had put her up to this? "You mom told you about this?"
"Yeah daddy, that's why it's okay."
My daughter had taken the mother role with the kids and now she was taking the wife role with me, it suddenly became very erotic to think of being with her. I felt a surge in my erection and I began moving in her again. This time we worked together, for each other, with each other. This wasn't just sex, we were making love to each other. I had already had a tremondous orgasm, I could easily last longer with her now. We took our time, both of us deeply enjoying our sexual intimacy. When we had finished I asked her to stay with me for the night.
When the alarm went off I told her to get the other kids off to school and stay home for the day. She smiled at the thought. Once she had them fed and out the door she crawled back into bed next to me, we lay together in comfortable silence, caressing each other and sharing kisses. Things started to heat up again but before we joined I pulled her tee shirt off, in turn she took her pjs off again. We pressed together, both of us naked and enjoying the feel of skin on skin. Making love with her was natural and deeply gratifying. Afterwards we napped a little while snuggled up with each other but when we woke up I did something different. Making love to her was slow and sensual and beautiful, what I did this time was fuck her. I put every bit of energy I had into making this an intense sexual act. The different behavior suprised her a little at first but she quickly got into it. This time we ended a sweaty mess, we decided to take a shower then get something to eat.
We lounged at the kitchen table for a little while, talking and smiling at each other, after a while she got up and tugged me by the arm, "C'mon." She was leading me back to the bedroom. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with her but I found it wasn't my decision. Once we got into bed she took control and shortly she was fucking me.
Late afternoon we had to get up and dress, the younger kids would be coming home and there were other family things to do. When the lights were ready to go out she told me she wanted to sleep with me tonight, "I don't think we're done with each other yet dad, we need to be together some more." I had to agree with her. Holding hands we walked down the hall to the bedroom.