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this is my first story so be gentle
guess i should tell you about me well im shaun im about 5'10 160 ,golden eyes,dirty blond hair. i sometimes work out so i have a toned body. i was the quiet smart kid through high school, never really had the chance to express myself so i train in kick boxing. i lived with my grandma after my parents felt that i became an burden to their lives and i really know what it feels like to be alone. well after i graduated valedictorian in high school i really wanted to start over so i started looking for an college outta country.

i felt my every heart beat as i walked the winding drive-way to the mailbox. this was my last chance to get away start anew leave the abis of self pity i that called home. i just looked at the letter debating on wether or not i was ready to have my dreams become reality or die. ''shaun harris, accepted full scholarship''. are the only words that stood out. YES' i yelled but amediatly regreted it when i saw a group of kids laughing even so i was walking on clouds and breathing heaven. i sprinted to tell grandma and get packed. ''im going to fudan university in shanghai, china'' i repeated over and over in my head.

after saying good bye to everyone that cared to come to the airport to see me off and the long flight i was sitting at my rented apartment doorstep fumbling with the keys. (it was a reasonable size apartment one big bedroom ,big bathroom ,kitchen and living room. i could only afford it because of my parents, they gave me a college fund before they left but i got the scholarship so now its 50,000$ worth of living money.) i exhaled a big breath finally finding the right key and opening the door. this was going to be my home for the next 4 years. i reached for the light but it didn't come on. 'great now what', i said aloud. after throwing my bags in my room i sat down thinking of how great i could make my new life or how i could fuck it up. after about a hour of sitting there thinking i figured i'd go out and start my new life.

it took me forever to get a taxi to stop because im soft spoken but when i did i asked the driver to take me somewhere fun. he gave me a smirk looking over his shoulder and started driving. about 30 minutes of looking out the window later we stoped i paid and got out. i couldn't believe the sight there was alot of bright neon lights and people everywhere. too many people all around me i just wanted to get some where without being touched so i ran into the nearest building. i opened the door and ran into a brick wall or at least what i thought was one it turned out to be a giant he towered over me and had atleast 200lbs on me. '' excuse me'',i said picking myself up. ''what are you looking for'' he belowed. '' umm just a little fun'',i replied. '' well come with me'', he said. i followed so as to not upse the hulk im sure i wouldn't like him when he's angry. he took me through a series of halls and doors and i started to notice bit by bit what was happening. we stoped in a hall that had cells along both sides,if i didn't know where i was i'd have to be dumber than peter griffin. '' so what do you want'', he asked. '' what ever you recommend'', i said. he walked off torward one of the cells and i planed to run and was turning to do so when i heard screaming. i turned back and he was holding a girl that couldn't have been more than 16 up by her hair and i do mean up im talking about levatation, floating, in the air by her hair. ''whoa what are you doing'', i asked. '' this is who i recommend'',he said raising an eye questionaly. '' put her down man'',i yelled. he put her down and took a step toward me '' you must pay me for my time'', he said.'' look man just let her leave'',i said holding out my hand to her she latched onto it making me feel protective. we started walking out when i heard a whoose sound and i turned enought to catch a glimse of a blured fist. clack was the nasty sound the fist made agianst my forearm, i had enough time to block. i grabbed the girls hand and we started running out the way i came in.

when we got to the street i said,'' we have to split up''. she violently shook her head no and made her grip firmer. i pulled my hand back pointed the opposite way of my apartment and yelled,''run''. i ran about half way and then jogged it felt as if my whole arm was on fire but i knew it wasn't broken. the rest of the way back to my appartment i was deep in thought only two more months till college, my arms swelling up pretty badly, why did i have to help, but mostly i was thinking i had just kick started a fucked up life.
i found my self back where i started fumbling with the keys on the door step. when i got the door open i once agian tried the light switch this time the living room lit up. well, at least theres that i thought. i knew that the appartment came with furniture but i thought that it would be cheap furniture that i'd have to replace, but the stuff that is already here is way above my budget all top notch. click-click...wha...i concentrated on the sound tilting my head toward he sound it was coming from behind me i turned and saw the doorknob slightly turning side to side i took a step to the door and unlocked it. the turning stoped momentarily but then slowly did a 180 and opened.............

look everyone this is my first and i'd really like it if i could write a teaser then use the comments to finish the chapter if i do this then ill need your help. please write a comment of what you'd like me to add or change ex: i thought this story needs more detail and talking plus its moving to fast also i'd like it if he falls in love. its that simple PLEASE help.

Anonymous readerReport

2009-06-13 11:23:33
fuckin stupid


2009-04-09 01:33:57
they said something useful, your just too fucking stupid to understand it.

black lightReport

2009-04-08 17:50:01
i belive that you think imma just sit here and take that your not even saying anything useful dumbasses. fuck you die slow motherfuckers.

Anonymous readerReport

2009-04-07 22:57:28

I didn't like it. I could barely read it. I just kinda skimmed it. Sex slave rescued by big American man. How cliched?


Anonymous readerReport

2009-04-07 02:44:24
"Pathetic" is overly harsh I think, but you really need to work at your writing. I would have thought by eighteen you would have had to learn at school how to set out an essay...a story whatever...properly. Your punctuation is really poor and you don't appear to have any idea how to set out dialogue.

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