This is my first story so I would appreciate any positive criticism. Sorry about any spelling or punctuation. Let me know if you like it and why. Thanks for reading.

We were at her place just hanging out. We were on the couch making out and kissing each other’s necks when she suddenly broke the kiss and stood up. As she stood, she threw a couple pieces of paper on the floor in front of her. She bent her body down to pick them up but her legs didn’t move. As she went down, the mini-skirt she was wearing moved up her curvy ass revealing a very small thong just big enough to cover her asshole. While in that position, she looked through her legs and asked me if I saw anything of interest. I said that I did. Then she told me to look at the interesting thing more carefully. So I kneeled behind her ass, at this time she stood back up, I rubbed her ass with my firm but gentle hands and every now and then rubbing her pussy mound. She had enough of my rubbing, she knelt in front of me, grabbed the back of my head and brought me in for a deep long kiss. After she broke it, she almost tore off the shirt that she was wearing, uncovering her perfect breasts. I immediately started to adore them with a bombardment of kisses and slight biting, just enough to pinch them. After awhile, I picked her up and brought her in the bedroom. After laying her down, I started to go over every inch of her body with my lips and tongue. I started at her forehead and worked my way down her neck, nibbling a little bit and sucking and kissing her neck. When I got to her breasts, I tickled the tips of her nibbles with my tongue which drove her mad with pleasure. I continued my way down slightly tickling her flat, beautiful stomach. As I got to her skirt, I slowly removed the skirt and the thong at the same time because I wanted to eat something.

After I took off the skirt and thong, I moved back up her legs until I reached the source of the aroma that smelled like heaven. I flicked my tongue over her lips once and she cried, “Wait!! Lets 69!” and I wasn’t about to say no to her. We got my pants and shirt off, we were in position and she said, “first one to cum wins” and I responded by spreading her pussy lips and jamming my tongue as far as it would go into the lovely hole. To muffle herself, you wrapped your lips around my cock and started sucking on it like she was eating a lollipop. Just using my tongue, I penetrated her hole deeply and skillfully. I used my thumb to rub the outside of her pussy firmly while using the other one to rub around her asshole. She was doing a wonderful job on my dick while giving me pleasure,she knew when to stop. In between breaths, she said that she needed something in her deeper than my tongue. I inserted two fingers as far as they would go into her pussy and wiggle them around which drove her into ecstasy. With only a couple more ins and outs, she geared up and unleashed her cum all over my face. After I soaked up with my tongue, I smacked her ass, and said, “you win, now let me reward the winner”. She got off of me and got on all fours in her favorite position. I got behind her and positioned myself to fill her hole with my meat. I spit on my hand and her pussy to lube it one more time, and then I started to move in. I went slow so I would drive her insane and it worked. Inch by inch, I worked my way all the way in and by the time the base of my cock was right against her dripping honey pot, she was moaning, “FASTER, FASTER, DEEPER!!!” So I picked up speed and force, going in, out, in, out, in, out occasionally slapping her ass and grabbing her hips for leverage so I could go in deeper. We continued fucking for several minutes and then I inserted a finger into her ass, she said that she wanted another in there, so I put another one in her ass. I felt her body tense up and her breathing increase and felt a rush of force and liquid as she came again.

I took my dick out and she turned around and sucked the juices right off. She licked it clean and looked me in the eyes and said, “Fuck me in my ass!!” After she loaded my dick with spit, she turned around again and stuck her ass up as she spread her ass checks. As I placed my head against the tight hole, she cried, “DON’T FUCKING WAIT!! DO IT NOW!!” I broke the surface and I felt a sensation like I never felt before. She screamed with delight as I started to pick up speed. I was going as fast as I could when I said, “I’m going TO CUM!!” She then cried right back to me, “CUM INSIDE!!” I even went faster than I thought was possible, I felt my cock jerk and shots of cum enter deep into her loins. As I did came, so did she with her biggest one of the night. As I slowed down, I slowly pulled out and she took my cock in her mouth again and started to clean it off. I wasn’t getting soft but I was getting a lot harder than I thought I could. She continued to suck on it and she massaged my balls. She start to deep throat me and that just did it. My cock twitched and started to shoot again. She didn’t miss a shot, she swallowed every drop that I shot. After you swallowed, we came face to face again and we kissed until we fell asleep.

Anonymous readerReport

2009-04-12 05:11:52
You have attention to detail regarding the foreplay, which is often ignored, kudos to that. Beyond that I would recommend trying to place the hot and heavy somewhere within a larger plot, something that draws the reader in first. Not to knock you though, you deserve credit for puttin somethin out there in the first place. Just keep writing, the more you write the more you'll develop a feel for what you excel at.

You are not logged in.
Characters count: