A really great jazz pianist is playing for a jam session and a nightclub owner is listening to him wow the crowd with his playing ability. The club owner goes over to the pianist after the session and asks him if he is currently booked somewhere. The piano player tells him that he doesn't have any gigs lined up and so the bar owner asks him if he would like to come in and audition for his nightclub. The pianist agrees and goes over to the guy's club.
The club owner asks him if he can play a nice ballad. The pianist says that he can and starts playing this beautiful ballad. The club owner is almost in tears over the wonderful melody and asks the pianist what the name of that tune was. The pianist replies, "I call that tune, Bend Over Baby I Want to Screw your Brains Out."
The club owner is appalled that the tune has such a horrible sounding name and asks the pianist if he could change it to better fit into the high standards of his club. The pianist tells the club owner that all of his music is original material and that he cannot change his standards just to fit this particular situation; that he has an image to maintain of keeping his music pure and original.
So the club owner then asks the pianist to play an up-tempo number and the pianist does. Again the music sounds superior and the club owner asks him for the name of that tune. The piano player replies, "that is another original tune I call, Open Up Baby, I Want to Come in Your Mouth."
Again the club owner is appalled and tells the pianist that he runs a respectable club and he doesn't want someone playing a tune by that name. The club owner is scratching his head deciding what he is going to do with this situation when the pianist asks him where his bathroom is. After a short while the pianist emerges from the bathroom with his fly unzipped and his dick hanging out. The club owner says to him, "do you know your fly is unzipped and your dick is hanging out?"
"Know it!" replied the pianist, "I wrote it!"