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As I sat on my bed reading a stupid book for school, I wondered a bit. Whats certain things like? My mother yelled from down the stairs that I had a visitor. I was only 17, with no life ahead of me. I walked down, and looked at my mom, she nodded over to the guy that was standing in our doorway. I had seen this guy once, but I didn't know anything bout him. He gave me a sexy smile, and walked over.

"A pleasure to see you again.' He said in a french accent, I giggled a bit. My mother spoke up, "Hun, I have to leave and run arrands. I will be gone for awhile. I will see you when I get back. Oh! And no funny business!" I shrugged.

"What would you like to do?" He asked, showing two perfect vampire fangs. It was unusual to see a vampire running around, but I was a bit freaked. I mean I had never really done anything with a vampire. "I want to have a little fun." I said, he smirked. I ran up my stairs, him following. "First tell me you name?" I asked, turning arounf infront of my door.

"Damien." He said, I giggled again. "Okay Damien. I'm Dawn. Let's have a little fun!" I giggled as I went to my room. He followed me in. He gave me a sexy smirk, and gently laid me on my bed. He started kissing my neck, I moaned when he licked my soft spot. He smirked, and started sucking and nibbling there. I giggled, then moaned. His lips found mine, he kissed me passionatly, I kissed back.
At fisrt it started like that, then he slowly started taking off my shirt. I stopped him. "Im not sure if Im ready." I said, he frowned. "I'm still a virgin." I said, he smiled. "I'll guide you thru it." Then he tossed off my shirt. He stared at my round tits that were going up and down with my breathing. I wasn't wearing a bra, because I was relaxing today. I had pretty perky boobs. He stuck one nipple in his mouth and kneaded the other. I moaned. "DAMIIEENN!" I moaned. He stopped, and looked at me. "Yes?" He asked. I smiled, I quickly took off his shirt, and threw it across the room. I stared at his marvilous body. I started kissing his chest then down to his belt. I quickly tore his jeans and belt off. I could see the tent in his boxers. I giggled, and tore them off as well. Damien's cock was 10 inches, and was glistening with precum. I smiled to myself. I took his whole cock in my mouth and deep throated him. He moaned right away, I smirked. I flexed my throat to give him more pleasure. He moaned, then shot a load full of delicious hot cum down my throat. I smiled, and swallowed it all. I took my mouth of his cock, and stared at him. He smiled. "Very good." He said pleased.

He laid me on my back, and kissed me, I smiled. He slowly took off my pants, then rubbed my covered pussy. He smiled, then tore my panties off. Right away he started sucking, then he stuck his tounge in my pussy. I moaned, and I didn't last long, cause I exploded on him in a few minutes. He smiled and licked it off. He spread my legs apart. "Ready?" He asked. I nodded, he positioned his cock and jammed it in me. I screamed in pain. He smirked. "You'll get used to it." He said, Damien then started rocking his hips, I moaned. I cummed but he still went. Harder, and faster. I screamed, and moaned. He finally cummed, I sighed. He rolled off of my. I smiled, and cuddled next to him. I felt hs body vibrate, then saw his skin go blue, I felt wings come out, I looked up at his face. His eyes were blood red and his was silvery white. He was in his true vampire form.
"I was sent here to kill you, but I thought I would have little fun." He laughed evilly. I gulped. He turned me over, plunged his huge vampie cock in my asshole. I screamed and pain, and this time tears rolled down my cheeks. He moved in and out for a while then went harder and faster. I screamed in pain. He climaxed then looked at me.

"It's truly sad to see such a beautiful face get killed. Oh well! DIE BITCH!" He plunged his fangs into my neck. I screamed, and the last thing I heard, was my mother gasping.


Damien walks the streets, not his usual thing. I stand in a corner watching him. My eyes grow yellow, my skin goes black, my wings spread, he stands there looking innocent. I run full speed at him, he looks at me and smiles.
"DAWN!" He exclaims. I growl, and kill him in a second. I was turned by my mother's best friend, who was part demon part vampire. So here I was, standing in the street looking at the dead body of the one who tried killing me. I stared up at the bright night sky. I was kinda sad. The guy took my viginity, but at the same time brought me something new, that I am expirencing. I smiled grateful at the sky. I was finally a vampire, I always dreamed of being one, but never thought it would come true. I heard a little girls feet running around and her giggly little voice. I walked to her. She stared at me. I picked her up, and drained her. I went to the house she live in and drained her whole family. It was a small family, but enough to quench my thirst. I heard someone behind me, and then heard their voice.
"Very well done, Dawn . . ."

anonymous readerReport

2011-06-15 05:36:57
Yeah more details yo. Dog I thought you had a nice premise, but I just wasn't feeling it enough, y'na saying? I just needed more details. It's the little things that matter? Also add in some symbolism while you at it. Aight? Good luck holmes! Peacess!!!

anonymous readerReport

2011-04-30 22:48:35
ummmm...what the fuck was that?

Anonymous readerReport

2009-07-11 12:47:12
horribly written

Anonymous readerReport

2009-06-15 18:40:02
dear christ this is terrible. atleast even the lowest rated stories like Roberto's Feast ended up being unintentionally funny.

This is just ... meh.

Anonymous readerReport

2009-06-15 13:07:52
that could have been a much better story if you had taken your time instead of rushing through it... perhaps you could take some time and expand the story with more detail, (touch, sight, smell...)

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