Note: I have changed the names of the men that I dated from the time that I moved to Seattle and thereafter. These diary posts are intended to tell my story, not to embarrass the men whom I have spent time with over the years.
Life is an amazing adventure, and the way each of our minds sort and file the information and sensations that flow into it is so varied. To one person a certain series of events is terrible yet to another it is like they had won the lotto. This is how I was beginning to feel about my life working for Kevin. I was earning so much more money than I would have ever dreamed possible and I found that many doors were open to me. I found myself buying my son new clothes and toys instead of sorting through boxes at the Salvation Army store. I could now go to those stores where Kevin bought me those beautiful gowns and pick out nearly anything I wanted. For the first time in my life I had enough money to buy some purely luxury items. One of the first things that I wanted was a car of my own. This was more of a symbol to myself that I could now leave whenever I wanted to. When I told Kevin of my plan, his response was one of approval. He said he knew just the guy to set me up with wheels. Once down at the car lot I was shown a lot of different cars, but my eye kept drifting back to this mini-van, which is what I finally chose. Now all I had to do was get a license. Michael and Kevin spent many hours each sitting next to me gritting their teeth as I learned the fine points of driving until they both finally told me that I was ready. The next afternoon I passed my driving tests and brought my new van home. Which is what it was beginning to feel like, home.
In my minds eye I was beginning to live the “good life”, I was earning plenty of money, enjoyed my “job” which is more of a personal vocation than anything else, had a beautiful, healthy son, and was doing great in my college studies. As time went on I found that I was having dates not four to five days a week, but six days and sometimes at night too. When I asked Kevin about my increased work schedule he said that it was because I was being requested. To be honest, it made me feel great about myself, knowing that these men were asking for me by name, I felt a bit like a star because of it.
Before I even realized it, my son had turned four and I was getting close to getting my degree in college. I had now been dating men for Kevin for almost three years. It was then, in the early summer of 2001 that I again sat down and quietly contemplated my life and where I wanted it to take me. I had been dating men one at a time or doing the occasional group of men at private parties for so long now that it had become second nature. I had some hard decisions to make because if I wished to pursue my dreams, I was going to have to leave this safe environment and move to Seattle, Washington to complete my college goals. During this entire time Kevin would always spend at least one night each week in my bed. I asked him if he spent time with all his other ladies like he did with me. His reply surprised me because he said that I was his favorite little slut and that he only spent time with me. I had always assumed that he screwed all of his ladies from time to time, but he said that he always tried out his new girls a few times just to make sure it was fine pussy, but that was normally it. He went on to say that he had a thing for me from that very first night when he and I had first fucked at Ray’s house in Corvallis. I asked him why and he said that from the very fist time he had fucked me he had always had this fantasy that he was breeding me. Instead of being shocked or surprised, his fantasy made me feels so very sexy and desirable. I realized right then that every time he had mentioned planting his child in me while we fucked, I had experienced huge orgasms.
From the moment that Kevin had told me of his secret desire to impregnate me, I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I would fuck him so hard when we had sex after that that we would both be exhausted when he had finished, his fantasy had somehow become mine. When I finally whispered in his ear one evening that I would bear his child if he wanted me to, he flatly refused. He said that he had never bred any of his girls and wasn’t going to start mixing his seed at his age. His refusal stung me, but I couldn’t quite rid my mind of the thought of bearing Kevin’s child.
Kevin had become what I considered my only family. He was the only adult that I had ever known who had taken the time to talk to me, to offer advice and explain all of the options of each possible avenue. He had always supported my goals of an education and getting out of the business. He was my mentor and friend while still maintaining his position as my master and pimp. I sometimes felt like I was planning to runaway from home when I made my arrangements to move to Seattle.
I continued to work for Kevin right up to the moment that I had to move. I had paid my tuition at the college and had located and rented a house in Seattle, now all that was left was moving there. I had talked to Kevin several times about this and he was totally supportive of my goals. So when the time finally arrived in the fall of 2001 to move, he and Michael loaded my van with our meager possessions. I said my goodbyes to Anna, my one and only friend. I knew that she would be safe and well cared for but it was still hard to leave her behind. She and Michael had become more involved than just being a driver and a hoe in the last couple of years and now that I was moving away she was moving in to his apartment. Kevin knew that I had a considerable stash of cash which would carry me through for quite a while, but he gave me a notebook with a lot of names and numbers of men in the Seattle area that he promised were safe to date. In fact he told me that I had dated several of them over the years and then went on to explain what my rates should be for my services. It shocked me to learn what Kevin had been getting for me all this time. It was no wonder that he could afford to provide our apartment free to us; he had been keeping almost 75% of every dollar I brought in. This news didn’t upset me; the amount of money just shocked me.
My move north was uneventful and my apartment was everything it had been advertised as. Seattle on the other hand was a huge shock. It is such a huge area, comprised of so many separate communities that have been absorbed over the years that I found it very confusing to find my way around at first. Our apartment was only ten miles or so from the college, yet I found that it took an average of forty minutes each way. It was also a lot more expensive than Portland had been and was chewing away at my bankroll at a much faster rate than I had expected. I was by no means near dire straights, but it did concern me. The thing that affected me more than any other problem in my life was the loneliness. It was as if I was back under my mother’s roof again. I had forgotten what it was like to be totally alone night after night. After having Anna for so long, I found myself frequently falling into a sort of depressed stupor and it scared me. I decided that I had to find an outlet for me to again rejoin life again. One evening in March of 2002, I found my outlet, the small notepad Kevin had given me. I slowly flipped the pages as I planned my escape from my doldrums.
My plan was to “date” one gentlemen a week, just to give me a sanity break from the monotony of my life which consisted of school, school work, spending time with Trev, doing the housework, then doing it all over again. So on the 20th of March, I sat down and dialed Kevin’s phone number, because I desperately needed his guidance in this matter.
The second that I heard his deep gravely voice; I felt such a deep need to feel his touch that I almost broke down, yet I somehow kept it together long enough to explain my plan. He told me that he shouldn’t have given me the pad in the first place because it wasn’t my place to call the john and that he would set everything up for me, all I had to do was enjoy. I felt such relief at his taking charge again; it was as if a ton had been removed from my back. We continued to talk for such a long time and I hated to hear him finally signoff and hang up. It was only then that I realized that my panties were sopping wet and my heart was pounding like a drum. It had been slightly over six months since I had last entertained a man between my thighs and I realized that I desperately needed that feeling again.
The next afternoon when I got home with Trev, the message light on my phone was blinking. I gave Trev a snack and punched the play button. It was short and sweet, Kevin had passed my name and number around to a few of his best local clients, all I had to do was wait for a call. I felt a rush of sexual excitement rumbling in my belly that I hadn’t felt in such a long time and I realized that I missed that feeling so much.
Three days later I got the call. I didn’t recognize the voice but he spoke as if we knew one another and we quickly made plans for that very evening. My hands were trembling as I hung the phone up and I felt that tingle begin to twitch in my belly. My mind was racing as I called my neighbor to sit Trev for the night. I wanted this so bad, needed it, yet I still heard that little voice from deep within my head saying “I thought we were done with this”, I totally blew it off as I rushed down the hall to shower and change.
I drove into the parking garage and followed the signs to the arranged level and slowly ambled around until I found the parking area that he had told me to park in, slipped into a slot and got out. As I hit the door lock button on my van, a car started at the end of the isle and drove up beside me and stopped. The window slid down and the dark 40ish gentleman inside asked “Nikki”? When I said yes he quickly got out, came around and opened the door for me. It was flattering, and it gave me a chance to size this man up a bit. He was about 6 foot; maybe 190 pounds, not overly handsome but he had a natural smile and a sexy twinkle in his eyes. As I stepped forward to slip into the car he told me that I smelled wonderful and gave me a sensual soft kiss on my cheek. I fully expected to drive straight from the parking garage to one of the motels that dotted this area of town around the airport, but he surprised me by turning north on the freeway and diving into traffic. We drove and chatted for a few minutes before I asked our destination. He calmly remarked that he had made me dinner at his place. I was stunned, no man had ever catered to me before, and here was a man who not only had made me dinner, he was taking me to his home. I kept trying to place this guy; he seemed to know me yet his face was a blank to me. All I could think of was that he had been with me one of those nights in Portland when I wasn’t in a position to see exactly who was servicing me. We spent the twenty or so minutes talking about my school, the weather and other such mundane subjects. Even with this dull conversation I felt the sexual tension slowly building between us as he would roam my body with his eyes and I kept sneaking peeks at his crotch hoping to see some sign of a tent pole pressing against his trousers.
His modest home as he had described it turned out to be a huge 3-story home overlooking the ocean. I was in awe as he turned up the drive and drove directly into and open garage and shut the car off as the garage door closed behind us. Henry came around, opened my door and guided me into a beautiful foyer. The smell of food filled the house and Henry remarked that we had arrived right on time. I followed him into the kitchen, which was the size of my apartments living room and began pulling kettles out of the side-by-side ovens. As he dished our plates up right out of the kettles he asked me to light the candles on the dining table. He had the table set, wine carafe with several bottles chilling with ice, rolls, salad, and even filled water glasses awaited us. The dining table was easily capable of having 20 people but only the 2 end places were set, the head and the position just the right of it. I had just finished lighting the candles as Henry brought our plates in and sat them before us. He pulled my chair for me and as I was sitting down he gently kissed my neck.
His treatment of me was having such an effect on me. When I had stepped from my car I felt like my old self, a horny little slut out for a night of nasty sex. But now I felt like a beautiful woman who was being seduced by a wonderful gentleman, and it was really getting to me too. Henry served our salads and wine and we began to eat our food, yet my mind was already concentrating on what he had in store for desert. Our chairs were close enough that our knees kept brushing each other's and each time we made contact I felt a twinge of excitement shoot up my spine. About half way through the main course I could take it no longer and I slipped my left hand under the table. I found his knee and gently ran my fingertips down his thigh until my knuckles brushed against his crotch before changing direction and returning my hand to his knee to begin the sexual torture again. After my third or fourth circuit up his thigh, I heard a low moan escape his lips and looked up to find his eyes full of lust and staring directly at me. I leaned over the corner of the table and met his lips in what I thought would be a simple little kiss, but instantly became an all out embrace with his tongue probing deep into my mouth. I could feel my panties filling with my sex even before we broke our embrace that first time.
Henry moved around the table and pulled me back into his arms and began kissing and exploring my body with his hands. I was leaning back against the table, and as we kissed I found myself sitting on the table, legs spread, and Henry standing between them. As he bent to kiss me again I placed my right hand on his swollen crotch and felt another rush of excitement flush through me as I found his cock to be fully rigid within his trousers. I fumbled with the zipper of his pants a bit before finally getting it completely down and was so pleased to find his cock right at the opening of his boxer shots. His hands were busy as well, he had expertly unzipped my dress and as we broke our embrace he slipped my dress over my shoulders and it fell and bunched around my hips. I pushed Henry back a step or two, stood up and allowed my dress to slide from my hips and fall to the floor. I hooked my thumbs in my panties but Henry stopped me by placing his hands over mine, he wanted to take control now so I stood there as he slid my panties down my legs and I lifted each foot one at a time to allow him to remove them and my shoes. He slid his hands up the back of my legs slowly and I felt the ripple of sexual desire burn through my spine. He leaned forward and ever so gently placed a kiss on my pussy before pushing me back onto the table and spreading my legs. He ran a line of soft kisses up my leg from my knee to my pulsing pussy then back down the other leg. After his second or third time doing this I was squirming and could readily feel my sex leaking from me. Henry looked up at me with a devilish grin on his face and asked me how I liked being teased like I had teased him. I could only think of one thing to say, “Take me please”. Henry stood and dropped his trousers, leaving his boxers to hide his cock from my view while he unbuttoned his shirt and removed his tie. My attention was riveted on the growing wet spot forming near the elastic band of his boxers. I almost dove from the table and tore his briefs from him but he finally bent forward and slipped them off revealing his manhood to me. Henry’s cock was beautiful in its hardness, about 7 inches, perfectly proportioned, with a wonderfully pointed tip, which had a two-inch drool of precum dangling from its tip. I made a move to get off the table and take his cock in my mouth but Henry pushed me further back onto the table and slipped in between my legs instead. As he positioned himself I gently guided his throbbing cock into my hungry pussy.
It felt so wonderful as Henry pressed himself into me; it had been so long since I had felt a man within me, that I instantly felt a climax building deep in my belly. With my hands on his hips I found myself pulling him into me with total abandon, Henry sensed my need and began slamming his cock into me hard and fast. The combination of his hard fucking, the sounds of the wet smacking every time he thrust into me, and the musky smell of our sex pushed me off the cliff into blissful orgasm. I gripped him close as my body bucked beneath him, relishing every wave of orgasmic pleasure flowing from my pussy, up my spine, and flooding my brain. Henry was slamming himself into me with such intensity that I never had a chance of recovery before I felt another climax building within me. I was gripping Henry’s back, tugging his hardness into me, feeling his muscles pulse with each and every hard thrust of his cock into my womb, I wanted this, needed this, and realized that I had been missing this so much. I was short of breath, my orgasm was beginning to burst within me, but I managed to whisper in his ear that I wanted his seed within me. As I surrendered to this climax, gripping his thrashing body to mine I felt his body tense, then his muffled grunts as he planted his sperm, deep within the folds of my womb.
I have always loved the way that a mans body changes after sex. They are so hard and firm during sex, every muscle taught as steel, yet even as the last few squirts of his semen escaped his cock his bodies relaxed, becoming so soft and feminine, if only for a few short minutes.
Henry remained on my chest, breathing hard into the crook of my neck, his soft cock still twitching within my soaked pussy. It felt so good, the weight of a man upon me, his warmth within me, and the smell of his sweat in my nostrils. I would have been happy if he had remained there for hours, but after just a minute or so he started to roll from me, but I wasn’t done with him yet so I rolled with him, keeping his soft tool swimming in my flooded pussy. I sat up upon him, and asked if he had enjoyed that as much as I had, all the while, squirming my hips and feeling his wonderful cock inside me. Henry asked if I had really enjoyed it and I told him that if he didn’t believe my words, I would show him how much I loved fucking him with actions. With that, I slipped from his belly and slid down toward his beautiful sex covered cock. I had just had my first taste of the wonderful mixture that we had made when Henry asked me to twist my ass toward him. This wasn’t an unusual request, a lot of men that I had been with liked to finger play with my used pussy after they had filled me their sperm, so I turned around, almost knocking over my wine glass in the process until my ass was right beside his body. As I slipped Henry’s cock back into my mouth he did something that no john had ever done before, he slid his head under and between my legs, then pulled my hips down and began licking and sucking my dripping pussy with passion. I tried to concentrate on Henry’s cock but he seemed to know exactly where to lick and what to suck to make a woman explode because I did just that within just a few short minutes. As I was recovering from a bone cracking orgasm Henry slipped from his position beneath me and stood beside the table until I recovered. He gently held my hand as I slid from the table then handed me my wine glass freshly refilled and waved us from the dining room.
I followed Henry across the living room and out into the cold evening air of his balcony overlooking the water. I was instantly shivering because of the sweat covering my nude body. Henry pulled me to him and said we wouldn’t stay long, but he loved the cold shock after a truly wonderful fuck like we had just enjoyed. I sipped my wine, rested my head on his chest and let my other hand seek out his gooey cock and gently began stroking him. Henry chuckled and said that I was everything that had been advertised as and more. My interest peeked I asked him what Kevin had told him about me, and stood back just enough to watch his face as he answered. Henry never hesitated, he looked me directly in the eye and explained that Kevin had told him that I was not only a damm attractive woman but that I was also a totally unabashed slut who enjoyed all things sexual and worshiped black cock with every fiber of her being. I stood there for just a moment, waiting for him to continue and when he didn’t I took a sip of my wine, looked back into his eyes and asked if that was all of it. Henry took a slow sip of his wine, slid his hand down my back until it rested on my ass and said that the only other thing Kevin had told him was that I was probably the best fuck that he had ever had and that at this moment in time he had come to the same conclusion. I was taken aback by this statement a bit but I felt that I had to come back with something so I told him that he shouldn’t make such a statement after only one sample. Henry instantly chuckled and smiled as he pushed himself from the railing and aimed us back to the sliding doors of the deck. As we went inside he said that I must be a mind reader as he had been thinking that maybe we should take another shot at it too if I was ok with that. I turned, again cupped his cock in my hand and told him that it would be my pleasure to tend to his sexual needs.
Henry guided me toward the staircase and as I followed him up the stairs I watched as his semi-hard cock bounced and swung from side to side as he climbed. Just watching it made my juices begin to flow again and I realized just how much Kevin truly knew about me. Because just seeing Henry’s cock made my belly quiver and my pussy get wet. I wanted to touch it, hold it, and yes suck it. As soon as Henry had led me to his bedroom, I took action. I sat on the edge of the bed and gently pulled him toward me, as his hips came within reach I pulled him close and engulfed his cock in my mouth. It was almost hard already but very cold after our being outside in the freezing weather. Henry moaned softly, rocked his hips into me and told me that he loved the way I sucked cock. I bent my head back and looked up at him only to find his eyes tightly closed as he began humping my mouth as I continued to suck his cock to full hardness. I would have enjoyed the pleasure of finishing him in my mouth, but he gently pushed me off his cock within a few minutes and pulled me to my feet before sweeping the covers down on the bed and guiding me back to it. As I slipped to the middle of the bed I swept one of the pillows up and stuffed it under my hips, aiming my pussy upward toward him. He wasted no time bounding in between my legs and plunging his harness into my slippery pussy hole. His first entry had been tentative and gentle, not this time; he shoved his cock fully into me and began pounding me with hard, fast and deep strokes. My heart began to race as his hard fucking was hitting all the right spots. It felt so good to feel a man fucking me with such abandon that it was impossible for me to push off my impending orgasm. I came hard, gripping his strong back while he continued to drive into me without breaking his stride. This kept me at my peak for what seemed like minutes. Before I became aware of my surroundings again. Henry was grunting into my ear like a steam engine, hammering my hole like a madman and sweating profusely. I was still out of breath myself and could feel the beginnings of yet another climax already building between my legs, my hands were still clutching his hips, automatically pulling him into me with each powerful stroke. I felt the overpowering need to bring him to fulfillment. I began begging him in between raspy breaths to fuck me and fill me with his seed before again falling over the cliff into another body racking orgasm. As this climax waned I found Henry right in my face, head pulled back, eyes closed, grunting deep in his chest and lurching into my womb with every ounce of strength that he had as he emptied his balls deep within me. He finally took a big gasp of air and rolled from my chest onto his back, he was spent and so was I. We lay there together, side by side, sweating and gasping for what seemed like many long minutes before either one of us could move. I drifted in the wonderful world that is called afterglow, something that I hadn’t realized until tonight that I had been sorely missing for these many long months since my move north and decided right then and there that I would not go this long without it again.
When I had decided to go on this “date” I had assured myself that it was just going to be a once in a while thing, just to tide me through until my life finally solidified. I was wrong, I needed this and had no intention of giving it up again soon. That decision made, I began thinking about this man who I had spent a wonderful evening with. Henry was an obviously successful man; his words and actions told me that he was also a very educated man. Why then, would a man such as this treat a slut me with such complete respect as he had done? Men who bed women for hire rarely kiss, never ever go down on them, and never take them to their homes, yet this man had done all of these things. Was he naive in this world of sex for hire, or was he just a real gentleman, or both. I was pondering this subject when I felt Henry place his hand on my sweat-streaked belly.
I opened my eyes to find him turning around, positioning himself in a 69 position over me. He pulled my knees back up and without a word, drove his tongue into my cum filled pussy and at the same time, rolled his hips toward my face, the unspoken command to suck his cock. I had had many men in my mouth, but I found it very difficult to suck his cock while he was so expertly tonguing my pussy. Henry was rolling his hips, fucking his cock into my mouth. Using my hands, I began gently rubbing the spot between his tight balls and ass, adding just a bit of pressure every now and again. The taste of our sex on his cock was soon replaced with the taste of Henry’s fresh pre-cum and his cock stiffened back to its full hardness. I had to suddenly pull my mouth off of his cock when his expert tongue job pushed me into another orgasmic fit. With this I closed my legs to deny Henry any further chance to interfere with me and guided his cock back into my mouth and he began slowly fucking my mouth again. He quickly built up a rhythm that had me gasping for breath around his swollen cock and his balls pressed tightly to my face each thrust. He was now truly fucking my face, I had no control, especially when his hands found the sides of my head and held me tightly in place beneath his thrashing cock. Just when I began to completely run out of air he pressed fully into my mouth and exploded. As soon as his last spurt of semen splashed against the back of my throat he pulled out and knelt beside me, breathing hard but smiling down at me.
I sensed that the evening was done, a feeling that was reinforced just moments later when he suggested that we shower. Henry was the first into the shower and the first out because I needed to make a stop at the commode before I washed. When I walked downstairs wrapped in a towel, Henry was already there, redressed and waiting for me. So I quickly dressed and found him sipping wine in the kitchen. As I took the offered wine glass, Henry began talking. He explained that he wasn’t good with women in an overall way, that he craved women sexually but had never developed a need to have any other kind of relationship with one. He apologized for the sudden end of the evening but that he felt that we were at an evening end. Then he handed me a sealed envelope, which I slipped into my purse, deciding to open it after he had returned me to my car.
The ride home was pretty quiet, we made a bit of small talk, but it was obvious that now that his needs were filled, I had become basically invisible to him, I was a used condom to be disposed of now, nothing more. I wasn't upset at this treatment; it was actually the first normal thing that had happened this night. When I stepped from the car in the garage Henry mumbled a low 'g nite' and then drove away. I stood there in the chill of the garage for a moment before getting in the van, starting it up, and locking the doors. I flipped on the dome light and opened the envelope that Henry had given me. It contained more cash than I had expected and a note. I unfolded the note and found that Henry had given me a complete 3-month schedule for my services and a short note with his cell number if I should have to reschedule for any reason. It made me smile because it was more like an office memo to employees than any kind of sexual note saying 'hey, lets get together on this day and have some fun'.
On the way home I thought about my life again in an overall aspect. On one hand I was a smart, educated woman with a sincere desire to have a professional career, raise my son to be a good honest man, and to maybe even find one man to devote my life too. Yet here I was, driving south on I-5 with the sperm of some man whom I had barely met staining my panties. A man that I had not only sought out and willingly sold my self to, but who I had enjoyed fucking. I had told myself that I was done with the business when I left Portland, that I was going to go straight, yet here I was. Was it that I had been conditioned to this existence by my years of providing sex without regard to feelings or emotional ties, or was it due to something within myself, which made me crave the physical act of sex? I finally decided that I didn't know the cause of my actions, but I couldn’t muster the slightest amount of remorse either. I had classified myself a slut after that first night with Ray all those years ago and decided that maybe my first impressions had been right and decided for the moment to leave it like that. I was a slut, I was happy, I was satisfied for the moment, and as long as I enjoyed being who I was, I was going to go for it.
My next Diary post will be The Truth About Nikki - pt9 - The Game of Life