I don’t even know why I’m writing this. Gloria said to I guess. “Write a sex diary.” She insisted.
Julio was my step-father and an angry, abusive man. When I was little would spank me mercilessly for the slightest infraction or mistake. Mom protested but never really did anything about it…for fear of getting more abused herself. When I was 15, my breasts were already forming and then they ballooned out seemingly overnight. Boys at school really started to take an interest in me. It was then that the son of a bitch began molesting me. He would come to my bed after Mom was asleep and play with me. It was all heavy petting at first and if Mom knew she pretended not to notice. I hated her for that!
After the first few times he would climb into bed with me, grunting and groaning his smelly breath all over me. At first I tried to resist but he would punch me in the hips and ribs if I didn’t obey—hard. Sometimes he would be drunk…those nights were the worst. I would pray the hardest that he would hurry up and ejaculate so he would roll over and finally leave me alone again. In my shame I could hide the bruises from his punches for so long. One morning Mom caught him in bed with me.
“If you tell anyone, I’ll kill you, you bitch!”
In the end, nothing changed and the abuse continued. His control over me became more and more oppressive. One afternoon he forbade me to see any boys outside of school—at all. At the time I wasn’t even sure what it meant but out of my mouth I heard the words: “lil’ prick.” Years later I found out how small a three inch penis really is. The son of a bitch jumped up and from his chair and went to the coat closet. The next thing I knew he was charging me with a baseball bat he kept there in case we got robbed. Before I could react he hit me directly in the mouth.
I never saw Julio again….nor my mother except from across the room once in court. I don’t even remember the ambulance ride. I was in the hospital for weeks.
They tell me I’m quite attractive. With long, blonde hair and blue eyes-- by then I had already become a “D” cup. In retrospect it didn’t hurt any being caucasian to be adopted so quickly.
The new family was really nice. Kate had survived cancer and they wanted another child—a girl. Her husband’s name was John and they had a son named Stephen. Stephen was about a year older and a little more than a little taller than I was. Aside from a few sibling rivalries, things went fine at first while I was trying to fit in I guess. Stephen slept in the room across from mine and John and Kate slept in another room past the bathroom and offices at the end of the hall.
A few days later in the darkness I started hearing the horridly familiar sounds of grunting and groaning from across the hall. I laid in bed, my mind racing in terror. It didn’t help much but…it wasn’t rocket science to figure out that Stephen was masturbating every night. I wasn’t sure at first but I would swear that I could hear him calling my name:
As the nights passed the moaning slowly became more and more brazen and although my fear very slowly began to leave me, I became more and more worried about what to do. If I told John or Kate I was afraid I might have to go back to the adoption agency—or get blamed for it. If I confronted Stephen about his masturbation or calling my name he might tell Mom and Dad. Once I calmed down, curiosity set in….
.oO(I wonder what his penis looks like….)Oo.
The more I thought about it…the more I couldn’t help it. Just remembering that son of a bitch Julio made me cringe…but the thought of Stephen’s penis size started haunting me even during the day….
One night I couldn’t sleep yet again and the more Stephen uttered my name the more I had to satisfy my urge to see just exactly what he was doing in there. I wasn’t ready for more than casual conversation with the boys at school, but I had my pick of them. On the other hand, it’s not like he had a girlfriend—he was too shy for that. At length I couldn’t stand the mental torture anymore and I got out of bed to investigate. My boobs pushing my cotton nightie forward, I realized that my nipples were fully erect. It was a strange feeling, being aroused and all so I dismissed it as best I could, never to tell a soul about it. Peeking through my door revealed a sliver of solid light coming from his room. Good…just wide enough to find out.
.oO(Good….the hall is empty.)Oo. I tip-toed over to his door and…
.oO(My God he’s big! At least two hands worth!)Oo. By that point I had seen him hundreds of times over the previous months but not like this…. Lying there on the bed without any clothes he looked even bigger, more muscular. He didn’t look anything like the short little bastard that used to force himself on me. He was lying on his bed stroking up and down his length with both fists and rocking his hips gently in time with the “music” of my name. By the way his rhythm was slowing increasing I knew it wasn’t going to be much longer now. I tried to leave, but I couldn’t. I wanted more—I was breathing heavier and my hoo-hoo was almost sopping.
With a muffled scream he repeatedly shot goop over his shoulder and all over his ample chest. Heaving heavy breaths he lay there utterly helpless and I stared in awe of how defenseless he was. Asshole would either be demanding another or roll over and pass out. When Stephen regained his strength several things happened almost all at once. The first was that he snapped his head up and looked up straight at me. I froze in utter terror not knowing what to do.
“Daphne!” he hissed. “What are you doing???” That was the longest moment of my life. Truly, I did not know what to do next…so I did what I new best. I quickly entered the room and carefully closed the door behind me so as not to be disturbed. When I faced Stephen again he had a look of anger and being violated on his face. I knew I had to remain in control of the situation for fear of being attacked and I didn’t have a second to lose. Quickly I took the three steps necessary to reach his bedside and without thinking I immediately wrapped my smallish hand around the middle of his length and stroked as lovingly as I could. I then gently put a hand over his mouth and answered his question:
“…trying to keep from getting caught.” I whispered. Already he had swelled to rock hard in my hand—and it felt good. It seemed an eternity to me but finally the anger and confusion left his face and he relaxed onto the bed. He closed his eyes and seemed to be waiting for the inevitable.
Slowly my fear subsided again and I couldn’t stop thinking about how irrational I was being. Stephen was the shy, quiet type and I couldn’t even remember if he had ever raised his voice…to anyone. The more he became aroused, the more defenseless he became. I wanted more….and then I noted a stain on the bed sheets from where he missed his body. Seemingly helpless to stop me, softly he started calling me by name again…. His arms and hands just lay flat on the bed and he was taking whatever I gave him and no more. He was so enthralled with my stroking his manhood he couldn’t even look at me when I tried to look make eye contact to see how he was doing.
He seemed so muscular and able to do damage to me I just wanted to feel safe again…. It felt good to be in such complete control. I know it sounds so stupid…he would never hurt me…but…. He slept across the hall from me…really I wanted all of him…all the time.
Until now, everyone said that what I was doing was wrong…but I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I just wanted control. And giving someone else pleasure didn’t seem bad at all—not with all the wars and violence in the world. And especially not as hot as I was….it was all I could do to keep from rubbing my womanhood to push me over the edge.
That was another thing that made this time different…not dirty or wrong…. Stephen had (has? He still did last I saw him) a bulbous head to his manhood that Asshole did not. Now that I was confident he would keep quiet for the evening, instinctively I knew what to do with the new piece of equipment. I removed my hand from his mouth and repositioned myself between his legs using both hands to stroke him. Stephen seemed so large that I wasn’t sure if I could take him fully so I kissed, extremely gently nibbled and licked his head which sent him wild…. His hips started rocking uncontrollably and I knew that only one question remained:
.oO(He’s going to have to hide the stains on the sheets--do I want him to squirt in my mouth instead?)Oo.
.oO(YESSSS!!!)Oo. Any reservations about making him pop were gone now—I would have done anything to please him. I gently clamped my mouth halfway down over his bulb and flipped the tip of my tongue back and forth over the slit. I’m glad that in my haste I didn’t take much of him in my mouth—he stifled a yell and shot hot, thick goop deep into my guzzling mouth and throat—again, and again, and again. And I loved it. I was so hot I couldn’t help myself—I wanted MORE!
“God you taste good.” I said.
I lay there in position and kept lovingly stroking him with both hands waiting for him to come back from his heaving chest and half-crazed mind. A few moments later his head popped up again with a look of wonder:
“Daphne…” he whispered, “…how did you do that?” Realizing his innocence, I sure as hell wasn’t going to explain (or explain myself) right then and there….
“….shhhhhhh….” I cooed. “Stand up and put your hands behind your back.” He looked at me like I was about to arrest him for objections to my new behavior. In my haste I gave him a look of: Are you an idiot???
“You want another???” I asked. Forgetting to let me up, Stephen almost tossed me off the bed in his rush to comply. Being aroused for so long, I had begun to sweat so I took my nightgown off and dropped it on the floor. Then I walked over and faced him. I was as naked as he was…. He was already fully erect again and mesmerized by my chest so I inhaled and bounced up on my tip toes to give him a better look. He almost grabbed a hold of my breasts before I could push his arms back down to his sides. “Behind your back I said.” And begrudgingly he did as he was ordered. “Now this time look at me.” Slowly a broad smile crossed his face as I knelt down before him with the flat of each palm caressing each of his hips and I let a loving smile pass mine. Much to my relief and excitement, his manhood was presented to me at the perfect height.
After all those times of being forced into submission, I was going to enjoy not just being in control but also having him in my mouth -- and I knew it. And I wanted him to know it too. I give him a mischievous wink and then began urgently kissing him at the base of his penis….
“Oh God Daphne…I want you.” He hissed. I stopped just long enough to whisper:
“I want you too Stephen….” A few more kisses and licks, “…now just relax and let me do the work.” He was interfering with my rhythm. “I want this too.” Deftly I switched one hand to massaging his ample testicles and began kissing my way up his shaft. Looking up longingly deep into his eyes I think he finally understood what I wanted and stopped protests of any kind. He simply enjoyed the ride as much as he could.
My GOD! I’m getting hot again as I write this!!!
I licked him up and down for what seemed like several minutes, occasionally looking up deep into his eyes to show him how much I wanted what was happening too. Then came the hard part…I opened wide and mounted the end of him with my mouth. I took in as much as I could, licking the tip to keep him ready to go.
I tried…he was so large that try as I might I couldn’t get the end of his manhood all the way into my mouth. As I kept trying I was going crazy trying to think of a way to do it…..
Then I thought of a way….it would mean I would have to risk everything….but I needed him in me so desperately I couldn’t help it. I let go of his penis with my mouth, reached in slightly and pulled my dentures out, opened as wide as I could and….success!!! My bare gums slid neatly and cleanly over the head of his prick and I started to suck his most private part. Any sanity left in Stephen was suddenly gone. He started grunting and groaning like a madman. With a popping sound I disengaged off his bulb and hissed:
“Quiet! They’ll hear us!” and without waiting for comment I went back to my rhythmic work on his pole.
With his head back in my mouth I was in Heaven. In that moment I realized I loved sucking Stephen’s penis…nor did I ever want to be doing anything else. Not that Stephen cared….as his toes started to curl wildly I prepared myself to take on what turned out to be a Herculean blast of spunk. Only a few drops passed my lips and as I scooped up the remains into my mouth I knew that with just a little practice I would be blindly guzzling all of his cream-- every time. That son of a bitch was musty, dirty, and stank of….what I didn’t know. This was different: “God you taste good, Stephen.” I breathed. When he came back from his reverie I was sucking his head again and gave him another loving wink to let him know I wanted it again. All he had to do was stay put. Stephen smiled back at me….then closed his eyes and went back to focusing on his next orgasm.
“Oh my God Daphne, I love you.”
“I love you too Stephen.” And it was done…. I knew that as long as John and Kate never knew…nothing would ever stop me from giving Stephen a blowjob. And best of all I felt good…not even a hint of guilt about it….
Continuing my bobbing head motions that night, I wrapped one arm around the back of his buns and moved the other hand to give Stephen’s balls some badly needed attention. His moaning increased again and hungrily I waited to be fed. Instead of focusing my soft, teasing gums around the base of his foreskin and dancing my tongue wildly over the rest of his head, I decided to take him more deeply. Now that I had his girth inside me, I knew that the rest would be a little easier. I quickly exhaled through my nose and with each half-inch I slurped inside, Stephen gulped air, I guess trying not to cum immediately. The more I took of him, the better it felt and when I had as much as I thought I could handle, I began to rake my gums up and down his length and suck hard enough to make slurping sounds loud enough to fill the room. It must have been some sight…my thick, full lips and cheeks bulging like that to make room for his massive member.
.oO(God this feels good.)Oo.
I could not stand it anymore. Just after he came, I wiped the flat of my hand over my quim and I exploded into a mind-blowing orgasm. This time I only missed a single drop, and carefully I scraped it into my mouth and joyously down my throat. I had to admit it to myself…that felt good too.
“Now Stephen,” I said happily into his eyes, “…I want you to stop masturbating and start coming to me. I want to do it.” He was such a social loner I know it sounds stupid again, but I was looking up into his eyes to make sure that his answer was yes and that he wasn’t lying. I didn’t want anyone else getting his sperm away from me. Without hesitation he nodded yes and without missing a beat he gently confronted me:
“You love to suck my cock, don’t you?” I knew he had me….and he was such a nice guy I couldn’t lie to him either. I couldn’t help but wrap my hand around his member and say:
“As long as you don’t put it that way, yes.” I admitted. Suddenly I felt less in control again and I had to quickly turn the tables back on him. I smiled and added: “As long as you never tell anyone and don’t go anywhere else, I think you can satisfy me. Understand?” There was a brief pause as he thought and he replied:
“Daphne—I don’t want to go anywhere else.”
“Good.” I replied. Maybe I meant to, I probably didn’t….I smiled wide enough he could openly see I had no real teeth. Raging curiosity passed his face and in the interest of fairness I knew that I had to tell him something.
“My step-father hit me in the face with a bat. Lost ‘em all in one shot.”
“I’m sorry.” He said.
“What for? It’s not your fault.” But it felt good to hear it anyway. Slowly I realized that I was being accepted for who I was…not what others would have me be....and I felt even better. By now he was getting hard again and he said:
“Hey…how about again…right now?”
“Right now, huh?” I replied with a grin, “Any time you like….I like your attitude.” As I took his foreskin again into my hungry mouth, I decided I wanted to try forcing his head to either side of my mouth where he could see and feel my cheek bulge lewdly. Suddenly I realized that as long as Stephen never abused or hit me, I would do anything to make him happy…and I would never, ever, say “no.”