Note: Again, I have changed the names of the men that I dated from the time that I moved to Seattle and thereafter. These diary posts are intended to tell my story, not to embarrass the men whom I have spent time with over the years.
I struggled with the finality of Kevin's death for weeks, he had been so much more than just my pimp, he had been my mentor, friend, and the father of the child growing within my womb. I missed him terribly and would find myself suddenly breaking out in tears at odd times of the day.
Rick became my rock during this time, he did not know what my relationship with Kevin had been and never asked about it either. He was just there for me.
After less than a month from our first date, Rick moved into my apartment with my son and I. He had sat down with my son and gotten his permission to live there with us, it was such a cool thing to witness, a grown man negotiating with my 5 year old.
Rick insisted that we start attending the group parties again because he thought that it would help me to climb out of my depression over Kevin's death. So one Friday night we piled into the van, picked up Bill and headed off to our first outing in over two months. I was in my seventh month, so as soon as we walked into the party, my belly became the main topic and focal point of almost everyone in the group. The warm welcome that we received made me forget about my other problems. Roaming around the room I could feel the moisture building between my legs as I chatted with people and looked at all of those beautiful cocks.
Rick had told me that we should both enjoy other members tonight instead of monopolizing each other again, so we soon split up and went our own way. I had assumed that I would be pretty much avoided because of my condition but I was soon proven wrong again. Within minutes of separating, Leland came over, cupped my large bulge in both hands and asked if I was in the mood for a little hard cock. Reaching down and gripping his big cock, I told him that I really wasn't in the mood for a little cock but I was up for some big black cock. He kissed me and led me to a mat by the window, where we began some heavy petting. After just a few minutes he commented that I he loved my big belly and was concerned that he might hurt me. I told him not to worry and rubbed his drooling cock back and forth over my swollen stomach. He lifted my leg and entered me from the side and I felt that little tingle ripple up my spine as his thick cock stretched my pussy around him. I let out a soft moan as he slowly worked his 9-inch cock into me until his balls flattened against my wet pussy. He groaned and told me that it was so hot fucking my pussy because for some reason it really turned him on knowing that I was pregnant. He began to fuck me with long slow strokes, grinding his tight balls against my pussy with each stroke. It felt wonderful feeling the ripples of pleasure slowly building within me and knowing that they would soon send me into orgasmic bliss. I glanced around and finally found Rick, kneeling behind Karen, pounding his beautiful cock into her with hard belly shaking strokes. Just watching his facial expressions as he enjoyed his second white woman made me smile. He looked a bit like a kid getting his favorite toy for Christmas.
Leland gave me a mild smack on my ass, bringing my full attention back to him and his black manhood between my legs. I looked up into his eyes and told him to fuck me harder, that I needed to feel his power inside me. He groaned and shifted his position, pushing my right leg up and straddling my left leg. Kneeling over me now he began to pump his cock into me harder and faster making the sweet tingling inside me quickly grow to a raging electric buzz. I told him that he was fucking me perfectly and he moaned back that my pussy was milking his cock so much that he was going to bust inside me soon. I felt my orgasm erupt and surge from my womb like a lighting bolt and I gripped Leland's hand on my hip as I came hard on his cock. It felt so wonderful to feel his cock trusting into my core as wave after wave of pleasure washed through me for those long perfect seconds. Leland pulled his cock from my pussy just as the last ripples of my orgasm faded and pulled me to my knees and drove his cock back into me from the rear. His thick cock made a wet slurping sound as he pounded my hole with even more force, making me shudder with each hard entry. He told me that my baby had better know how to swim because he was going to flood my sweet hole. Another climax was already forming deep within my full belly and I whimpered that I was going to cum again as he continued to smash his cock against my sopping wet pussy. I came hard again and felt his grip on my hips tighten as his thick, black, cock continued to pound me hard and deep. Huge waves of pleasure surged through me as I bucked under his sweet assault. I was still moaning and twitching in the final stages of my climax when Leland moaned deeply and thrust himself fully into me, pumping load after load of his seed into me. I lay there enjoying the perfection of the moment, feeling the thump of his cock and his little moans each time he shot its cream into me, even his finger tips flexed against my skin with each pulse of his climax. Finally, his cock spent, his hands began gently rubbing my ass and back as he rested between my legs, his cock still gently twitching within me. He remarked that I was one fine fuck and I told him that he was no slouch either and we both had a little giggle before he slipped from me and flopped down beside me.
I looked over Leland's chest and caught sight of Rick, resting against a chair with Karen and another lady taking turns, sucking his beautiful cock back to life. Just the sight of those two women sucking what I had begun to think of as, my mans cock, made me incredibly horny again. Rick had his head laid back against the chair, eyes closed with one of his big hands resting on each of the women's head as they both took turns sucking his tool. I needed to taste some cock of my own so I slid down and began to lick the thick cum off of Leland's beautiful cock His instant moan of pleasure and the little twitch of his cock told me that I was pleasing him with my efforts. His hand cupped the back of my head and he told me to swallow his fucking cock. I gave his big saggy balls a final kiss then slipped my lips over his fat cock head. Leland's hand pressure increased, forcing his cock deep into my mouth before relaxing enough for me to pull back and lick his cock head again. As soon as my tongue had made a lick or two of his cock head, his grip would tighten and he would force his cock deep down my throat again, almost to my gag point. Again and again we completed this cycle until his hips began to thrust upward into me as his hand forced me down his growing erection. His moans and encouraging words spurred me on and I forced myself to swallow his now rigid cock all the way to my gag point. Without any warning at all, his grip tightened into my hair and his thick cock spewed its thick seed down my throat. Gagging a bit at the suddenness of his climax, I gulped down his semen while he held my head firmly on his pulsing cock, all the while telling me to "drink it, drink it all". After what seemed like minutes his grip relaxed and I was allowed to lift my mouth from his softening cock. Leland apologized for gagging me and said that he had been caught up in the moment. I told him that it was ok and that it had just caught me by surprise, otherwise I probably wouldn't have gagged.
We lay there and rested for a minute or two before Leland excused himself and moved away. I sat up and looked around for Rick and Bill. Rick was now sitting in the chair that he had been leaning against earlier with a woman straddling his lap, fucking him cowboy style. It was the woman who had been with Karen earlier and I watched as she pounded herself up and down Rick’s rigid cock. I saw Bill sitting alone at the bar sipping a drink and decided to join him for a break.
I had not had sex with Bill since the night that that I had met his brother Rick and suddenly felt a bit guilty about it as I approached him and sat by his side. I leaned over and gave him a gentle kiss and asked why he wasn’t with someone and he replied that he had just finished and was just taking a short break to catch his breath. I noticed his thick cock resting on the seat between his legs and thought to myself just how different the two brothers were. Both Rick and Bill had an almost perfect nine inch cock, but other than that they were totally different, Bills cock was almost ebony black from base to tip and his cock head was rounded with very little flair to his glans, whereas Rick’s cock was a bit thicker and had more of a chocolate brown shaft and even lighter brown cock head that was wonderfully flared and pointed.
I reached down and cupped his heavy cock in my hand as I took a sip of my soda and winked at Bill. He opened his legs slightly and said that he had figured that I had lost interest in his affections now that I was keeping time with his big brother. I told him that I was sorry for ignoring him and hoped that he would forgive me, but that I had been going through a tough time besides becoming involved with Rick. Bill smiled and said that it was ok, that he understood the deal, but he still had missed being with me. I gave his thickening cock a little tug and told him that we should do some catching up then. He hesitated and said that he didn’t want to cause any conflict between Rick and me because he knew that Rick “really” liked me. I told him that it was ok but made a mental note to discuss this situation with Rick later.
I led Bill to an open mat and knelt down before him and slipped his nearly hard cock into my mouth. A moan slipped from his mouth as I swallowed his cock deeply and felt his hand glide over my shoulder and cup the small of my neck. Bill moaned again that he had really missed the way I could work his cock over and I gave his cock a gentle bite as an answer. I gently rubbed his tightening ball sack and tickled the soft skin on the backside of his sack, bringing another moan from his lips. I worked his cock back and forth in my mouth until his pre-cum had coated my entire mouth with its slickness. I let his thumping cock slip from my mouth and lay back on the mat as he lay down beside me. His right hand went straight to my growing belly and he traced the entire bulge with his fingertips. He looked at me and said that I had really grown in the last few months and I told him that he had just called me fat and punched him lightly. He kissed me and told me that he was sorry and would make it up to me as I felt his hand slip over my pussy, giving it a squeeze before slipping a finger inside. Bill alternated with kissing me and suckling my sensitive nipples while his finger flicked around in my hole. It took only minutes of this treatment to get all my juices flowing and my hips began to hump against his hand automatically. Bill read me like a book and rolled me onto my knees and slipped his cock slowly into my pussy. The feeling of his rigid cock pressing itself fully into me sent a shiver up my spine and forced a whimper to escape my lips. Instead of him pumping his thick cock into me, he sat back on his haunches and began to pull me back and forth onto his raging hard on. He and I both moaned at the wonderful sensation that this position gave to us. His cock was angled up and as he would pull me fully onto his throbbing cock, his balls would press tightly against my clit, giving me an electric tingle each time we would smack together. As the growing buzz built to a crescendo within my womb he added another twist that forced me over the cliff and into a wonderful shuddering orgasm, he drove his thumb fully into my ass. As I shuddered and bucked on his cock I could hear him remark, “yea, you like that shit don’t you Nikki” but I couldn’t answer as the huge waves of my orgasm filled my senses. He never gave me any sort of break; instead he began to pound me faster and faster onto his manhood. Within just minutes of my first climax another one exploded from my pussy and slammed into my brain like a train wreck. My vision dimmed as I whimpered and quaked my way through every blissful wave until I finally began to return to the real world. Bill was fucking me like a madman and just moments after recovering from my orgasm he groaned deeply and exploded inside my stretched pussy. I could feel his balls clenching as they spewed each thick lump of his sperm into my womb. He held me firmly against him as we both enjoyed the afterglow of a wonderful fuck. I could feel his cock slowly soften within me and even before Bill slipped his tool from my womb, his thick seed had begun to leak from me and begin trickling up my pregnant belly.
Bill and I lay there kissing and snuggling for a few minutes when Rick slid in behind me and kissed the back of my neck and reached around and cupped my swollen and sensitive breast. He whispered that I was incredibly beautiful when I was fucking and that he had truly loved the show that Bill and I had just put on. I could feel his hard cock pressing against my ass and I lifted my leg, allowing him to slip it between my cum coated thighs. He began working his cock back and forth between my legs and I cupped my hand below my pussy and rubbed his swollen cock head each time it popped through. Bill had slid down a bit and began to suckle on my sensitive nipples making me mew and squirm. Rick guided me back onto my knees, straddling Bill who was still fondling and sucking my breasts. Moving behind me Rick slid his wonderful cock into my cream filled pussy and began to slowly fuck me with long slow strokes and I felt the first electric ripples shoot through my body. Rick’s soft voice told me that I was so sexy as his hands roamed over my ass and back, almost in time with his fucking. Bill slid back up and began kissing me and I could feel his now rigid cock against my inner thigh. Rick asked Bill if he was ready for the changeover and bill broke off his kiss long enough the say he was.
Rick slipped his cock from my pussy and bill’s fat cock entered me instantly and he pushed me fully down his shaft. Rick then placed his cock against my ass and pressed his fat cock into me until I felt my bung pop over him. I moaned and squirmed as he drew back and pressed himself even deeper into my bung. Bill was holding my hips tightly against his groin as Rick drove himself deeper and deeper with each stroke into me until I felt his tight ball sack bounce against me.
It had been a long time since I had been plugged by two men at the same time and the sensation of those two fat black cocks filling me to the hilt was incredible. I couldn’t help but squirm around on these two wonderful men and whimper, even before Bill and Rick began to slid me slowly on and off of their cocks in unison. As soon as they began rocking me on and off of their cocks I could feel a huge orgasm begin twisting my guts into an explosive knot. With each stroke up or down their shafts that ripple of electric energy would crackle through my body, making me tremble and whimper with pleasure. I couldn’t speak or really even concentrate on anything other than the wild sensations that were cascading through me with ever increasing intensity. My two wonderful lovers played my body perfectly and in what seemed like only moments, I exploded in a powerful orgasm. It flooded my vision with multicolored spots and made me gasp for breath as my body quaked between these two men.
As my vision cleared and I regained my breath, I realized that the guys had quit fucking me while I had thrashed my way through that powerful climax but now their hands began pounding me back onto their twin cocks with even grater force and urgency. My pussy began to quiver and throb again within just a few minutes and I could feel another orgasm quickly building. I moaned to the guys that they were going to make me cum again and almost in unison they both groaned that they were about to cum too. I closed my eyes and let the combined pleasure that was flowing from my ass and pussy to flood my brain as I felt those two wonderful cocks plunge into me together then withdraw, leaving me empty. Bill groaned loudly below me and began thrusting into me as his cock spewed its seed into my core. Feeling him flood my pussy threw me into another orgasm and I gripped his shoulders and came as huge electric jolts made me quiver and thrash around. My climax must have pushed Rick to the breaking point because he gripped my ass cheeks in his powerful hands and exploded into my bung as pulse after pulse of his fertile seed filled me to the limit.
I became aware of the rivulets of sweat that were flowing down my body. As I opened my eyes, the river of sweat flooded my eyes stinging them and I wiped it away to clear my vision. The first thing that they focused on was Bill’s smiling face, covered in sweat of his own and that of mine that had dripped onto him during our monumental fuck. He said that this had been the single best fuck of his life and that he hoped that we could do this again sometime. I couldn’t help but giggle in response because of that silly post fuck smile that covered his face. Composing myself a bit I kissed him lightly and asked if we could all disengage, as I needed to cool off. Rick rubbed my sweat covered ass and slipped his sperm coated cock from my used bunghole, allowing me to roll off of Bill and flop onto my back.
Both guys flopped down on either side of me and took turns kissing me as there hands rubbed my soiled body. I closed my eyes again and marveled at the cool air flowing over my body and basked in the wonderful tingles that the guy’s fingers sent through me as they caressed my body. I looked back and forth between them and asked where they had learned that little trick because they seemed to have it down to a science. They both burst out in laughter and then Rick explained that when they were in high school they used to double team one of the local sluts who actually taught them that move. I kissed Rick and told him that they had learned that lesson very well because they had done it perfectly.
We rested a few more minutes before pulling ourselves together, dressing and heading for home.
A few days after the party Rick suggested that we forgo any further group functions until after the baby was born. I felt perfectly healthy and fine after our night out, in fact I felt better than I had for quite a few weeks but I agreed with his request but asked if we could at least have his brother over for dinner once in a while. He picked up on my message instantly and chuckled as he pulled me to his chest and kissed me deeply before saying that he saw no problem with that as long as I felt up to it. I asked him if it was ok with him to continue to service his brother, with his permission of course, and he replied that as long as I asked him for permission, he saw no problem but that he wanted the final say each time. I kissed him and told him that I would never service any man without his permission.
The last few months of my pregnancy were filled with all the normal things of life. I completed my studies and passed all of my finals without a problem. I shopped for new baby clothes and accessories for my baby, my love for Rick grew and grew, and we invited Bill over for dinner and some hot sex about once every week.
I had just entered my eighth month when I received two job offers from the college placement folks. One was from a clinic in Portland Oregon, which I discounted instantly because of my former life there. The other was from a hospital in eastern Washington. I made my decision within minutes but felt a pang of dread at the thought of having to leave this home that I had begun to build with Rick. As soon as Rick got home from work I sat down and told him of the job offers and my decision. He could tell that something was tearing at me and I finally blurted out that I had fallen totally in love with him and couldn’t bear the thought of moving away. He kissed me deeply and said that I was fucking up his schedule something bad, but he could roll with it. Totally confused I began to ask what he was talking about when he asked if my son was in his room. When I told him that he had just gone to watch cartoons Rick excused himself and disappeared down the hall leaving me totally clueless as to what was happening. A few minutes later Rick and my son came back into the living room. Rick knelt down in front of me, then turned to my son and asked him permission to ask his mother to marry him. Before my son even opened his mouth to say yes I felt the tears erupt and begin flowing down my cheeks. Rick turned to me and placed a ring box in my hand before he asked if I would be his wife.
They say that all bad deeds eventually come back to haunt you, well this was my time. My entire past flooded into my brain and choked off any possible reply from my lips. I knew that I couldn’t just say "yes" and ignore my past; I could not be dishonest with this man. I sat there speechless and crying for several long minutes before I asked my son to please go back to his room. I placed the unopened ring box back in his hand and asked him to have a seat for a few minutes. I went down the hall to our bedroom to compose myself enough to explain my life to Rick but had no idea of how to start. Then I remembered my journals, the daily diaries of my life. I went to my closet and rifled through the boxes until I had assembled every journal from the day that I had first met Ray right up to the present. As I picked up that box of spiral binders I knew that it sealed my doom. No man would ever want a woman to carry his name after she had been who I had been, but I felt bound to show them to him. I carried them back to the living room and plopped them on the coffee table. Looking at Rick and mustering all my strength I told him that I could not give him an answer until he had read my diaries. His look of hurt and confusion almost made me burst out in tears again but I held myself together as he silently got up, went to the bedroom, packed a bag, and left with the box of journals under his arm.
The next two days were pure hell for me and confusing for my son, who couldn’t figure out where Rick had suddenly gone. The evening of day two there was a knock at the door and when I pulled it open expecting my neighbor I found Rick standing there with my box of journals in his hands. With my heart pounding 200 beats a minute I ushered him into the living room and sat on the couch expecting the worst. Instead he placed the box back on the coffee table and knelt before me again. His eyes were moist as he looked into my eyes and held out the ring box to me again before saying that he had read every word of every journal and wanted me to be his wife even more now than he had before and would like my decision now. I almost knocked him over as I threw myself into his arms and told him that I would love to be his wife. He went through the drill of slipping his ring onto my finger as tears poured from me before telling me that there were conditions that we would talk about later. He saw the confusion in my eyes and told me not to worry about them, then kissed me deeply.
That night we went to dinner to celebrate out union then returned to the apartment and had the most intense lovemaking session of my life. As he snuggled against my back, his arm resting on my hip with his hand on my bulging womb he began to explain his conditions. His first condition was that my unborn child would have him listed as being his on the birth certificate, second was that he adopt my son as his, third was that he made the final decision in all aspects of our sexual life from now on, and his fourth and last condition was that I remain the truly strong willed and honest woman that he was madly in love with. My response was simple; I rolled towards him and told him that I agreed to all of his conditions if he would grant me one request, which was to give us at least one child of his own. He smiled and kissed me then whispered "deal" into my ear and we drifted off to sleep.
We were joined in marriage less than two weeks later in a small civil ceremony attended by my son, Bill, their mother, and sister who I had never met before the that day. I could tell by the look in both of their eyes that they didn't approve of me, but were all remained civil to each other throughout the day. Thank goodness they both left again that night. Rick had picked up on the tension and told me after they had flown out, that they were upset at my color more than anything else, that they thought that he should have found a "woman of color" as his momma put it. He went on to say that if I would give it some time that he was sure that they would warm up to me and I told him that I would give it my best shot.
Two weeks later, our daughter was born. She was a bit early but was in perfect health and as beautiful as any child could hope to be. Rick strutted around with her in his arms like a proud peacock. He acted as if she was wrought from his very loins and proudly told everyone that she was his beautiful daughter. In fact, when he called his mother from my room that night he announced her as his, which surprised me. I had thought that his mother knew that I was carrying another's child. When Rick closed his cell he explained that he had sworn his brother to secrecy and wanted our baby girl to be a bridge between his mother and I. He said that there was nothing more powerful than making his mother into a grandmother to do that.
Several weeks later, we moved all my belonging to Spokane Washington and into a 3-bedroom house on the north side. Rick would be unable to join us for several longs months as he transferred his accounts to other people in that office before he was finally able to move to the Spokane office.
When we had told the members of our group about our move east, several members gave us contact information for another group in the Spokane area, so after finally settling in as a family again Rick and I sampled, then joined this wonderful bunch of party goers here and have never looked back.
This was the spring of 2003.
Since that time we have settled into a normal life, bought a house, had a beautiful baby boy to bless our family, and do all those normal things that all "straight" people do with the exception of our swinging activities.
I will end my diary posts now and hope that anybody who reads these chapters of my life has gotten some insight from them, some entertainment, and few lustful thoughts as well.