I think it is about time I covered some of the basics about the structure of the gangs. The where six gangs on the estate the Dead Heads, the Hell Boys, the Bad Dogs, the Dammed Ones, the Burned Stars and the Flesh Eaters. I know the names are a little over the top but it is what we called ourselves. The gangs tags where the initials put together in some way, normally in the gangs colour, but each crew within the gang would change style. The gangs had somewhere between 100 to 200 members each of which about a third where girls, if the Dead heads where all fit and we stripped our corners and streets we could call on around 70 lads. The gangs had the same again in hangers on, girlfriend who hadn’t joined, kids how wanted to join, and the weak who where afraid to join but hung around the edges looking for protection, they also supported a fair number of girls who were used as sex toys, and then you had family members and old boys to take into account. These people where split into crews.
A crew was a group within the gang with its own structure and internal politics, it was ran by a chief and one or two Lts, and was a simple way to organize the larger gang. They numbered between a dozen and 20 members each, if a member earned money though crime he paid it up the chain, and the chief paid it into the gang, but it also worked the other way money came down to the chief from the gang and he paid out a wage. This was so the high cash corner crews like mine subsidised the lower earning ones, you still made more money if you worked in the higher risk parts of the gang but it kept others happy.
Lacy’s crew, now my crew, was a corner crew. We ran a drugs corner, for that you need spotters, runners, tellers, a bank to keep the count and muscle if you want to hold the corner, all in all about 10 lads working at all times you are open. An addict has to spend about £10 a day on his poison of choice a day it keep himself set, depending and quality and availability of product. With a 60/40 split up to the gang the corner make £4 per addict per day. With 10 lads working you need to get close to 100 addicts buying of your corner a day to make it worth the effort, and back then a lad was very happy to earn 40 a day for 4/5 hours work of a night. If you could push it up to around 120 addicts you really started to make money. Luckily the one thing the estate had in spades was addicts, sooner or later they ended up here.
Of course everyone that worked the corner was part of the crew but not everyone that was part of the crew worked the corner. In my case Mike was always part of my crew but you couldn’t have him work a corner or soon all the money and all the drugs would end up in his pocket. The way the gang earned money of Mike was just going to his room once a week and emptying his pockets. You didn’t get things of value all the time because to him a plastic folk given out free at a chippy held the same value as jewels so long as he got to steal them. I took anything that looked valuable, pawned it, took a cut and then gave half back to him and half to the gang. He made quite a bit of cash that way.
Our territory was big enough just to fit 3 drugs crews, with constant fighting over the boards with the Hell Boys and the Bad Dogs, but even so that left more than half the gang with nothing to do. The other crews did anything to make money selling alcohol, cigarettes, pirate CD’s and anything they could steel. The only reason they didn’t do protection, loan sharking and prostitution was the King had his own people doing that on the estate. It was the same with Ecstasy, there were plenty of people that we could sell it to, and it was easy money, but his people sold it in the clubs so we stayed well away. Even so everything we did a small cut went up to him, even if he had nothing to do with it.
No one really grieved Lacy death, to most who loved him he had died long ago when he first picked up the needle and with his finale downward spiral his family was numb.
Taking over Lacy’s crew after his death was not easy, I may have been his Lt, I may have been running it more or less by myself for months, I may have had a reputation that few people could boast of, but I was very, very young to be running a crew let alone one of the valuable corners. Really Eddy wanted to put one of his own men in over me, he didn’t oppose me himself but he had some of his lads do it, they said over the last few weeks I had been unstable, which was true, and I was too young, which was also true, and the was that nasty rumour that I had kill Lacy... not of course that they believe it... but still. I didn’t argue to loudly about that, they may have started the rumour to hurt me but I saw the look of fear in other peoples eyes now and I was happy for them to think I had kill Lacy. I didn’t try and argue the points with them, I only pointed out that it was my right and anyone that wanted to challenge that was more than welcome to try me. I was 6 foot 2 by now and strong, I was trained well, the where only four people in the whole gang I didn’t think I could take, and of them only Littler was in a place to challenge me, and he really didn’t have the brains to run anything.
Eddy had them back off, looking like he had given up was better than looking like he had lost. Still he had sway over half the lads working the corner and they left once it became apparent I had won but I was glad of that. I would have forced them out anyway, I wasn’t having Eddy’s people watching my back, I was going to make a new crew. I shorted myself a little to increase the wage on my corner to attract the people I wanted.
I wanted older siblings, with parents that where trying hard, I wanted people who the money they were being paid mattered, that a few extra pounds would make a world of difference. I want people who would be grateful to me for the small increase in their standard of living, people who would be loyal to me above the gang, I wanted people not touched by the weakness that was slowly infecting the gang. I made it clear that if I caught any of them using, if they took money from Eddy, if they didn’t pull their weight, if they stole anything from me then I would kick them out. I couldn’t get all I wanted in everyone but after a few false starts I built a crew to be proud of, a strong crew.
It wouldn’t have happened, it would have die before it could walk, if I had tried to build it without a gang behind me. We ran short staff, we lost money, I moved people around so much I wasn’t sure who worked for me. Shark circled all the time and all that kept me from going under was my will and a fair amount of violence directed at anyone that opposed me. Within the month my corner, my crew, was strong.
PayDay became my Lt, not for any real skills but because he was dog loyal to me by now. I had a lad called Joel, who went by the Prophet or Profit, depending on if the crowd would get the biblical references, who was way too smart to work a corner but just couldn’t stop running his mouth to people bigger than him so needed protecting from Eddy. There was Paul who went by Gibby, he was so sure that one day he would be a boxer, spent most of his time training. Then came Denise, who wanted so badly to be called The Menace but couldn’t get it to stick, so went by Dee, he had the cutest little 3 year old sister who he would do anything for. My muscle came from Frank the Tank, who lived with his Gran who still called him Francis no matter how much he asked her not to, and a lad called Aaron who went by Aaron because he had that much imagination, he was the oldest of 5 brothers. There was also Kid Willy, Painy, Less and Alex.
Now Alex, who went by Lexi, was an oddity, a gang girl that did real work for a living. Faye was insanely jealous of her just because Lexi got to be part of my world that I wouldn’t let her be more than because she was a threat. Lexi was very attractive, tall with an hourglass figure, her soft femininity was offset by good muscle in her arms, leg and stomach which made her able to go physically with any of the lads. Her face was cute more than beautiful, ocean grey eyes and strait brown hair. Even if I was going to cheat on Faye it really didn’t matter how attractive I found her because she had a real problem with being touched. She would freeze up if you made even accidental contact with her skin, which made it very hard to be friends with her until you understood the no touching rules. Still she was a very good worker.
Once the corner was running properly it amazed me the step up in money from a Lt to chief, I knew they earned more, hell I had seen the money but it wasn’t real to me until I found I had so much in my pocket at the end of the week. This was when I began to wonder how much Bob was making off the gang and if he was making as much as I thought why in hell was he still living here. I poured all my negative emotions into rebuilding the corner, I used my hate and rang to make it strong, and I learned to live with myself again one day at a time. I was not as happy as I was but I learned to put myself in boxes again, and not to stop or look back.
I also had Charlotte to look after, I made her my personal responsibility, I think I used her survival as a way to make up for all the bad things I did. She never told me what Lacy had done to her in those last days, I didn’t ask, but I knew he had been dosing her. I watched her very carefully of signs of addiction, I put the word out that anyone selling to her would find me very upset, but it didn’t seem to have a hold on her. If she had been quite before she was silent now, you where lucky if she would respond to a direct question, but when she did speak it always mattered. Her outlook was dark, now I would call her a Goth but back then I didn’t have a word for it, but really it fitted well with how I was feeling. Amy liked her, but Amy liked anyone who would be her friend without wanting something, Faye really liked her and it was only my strong objection that stopped her from trying to sleep with Charlotte.
The was no question about her running train to join the gang, I wasn’t going to let her, no one was going to touch her. She never became a full member but no one questioned her involvement in my crew, I was as politically powerful within the gang as I ever would be. The gang looked after its own, her mother was being given enough to live off so she didn’t have to work.
In the better place I was in Faye and my relationship got back on track. She acted like none of the bad stuff over the last few weeks had happened and I was happy to let her play pretend. I now told her everything but I still think she zone out the worst bits. Still now when I was close to losing my temper she would be able to tell the same way the other Berserkers could. The sex went back to more or less normal too, being able to put emotion back into the act was one of the best feeling ever.
It happened a little over a week after Lacy death, I was still suspended so had spent most of the day trying like hell to put together a working corner for the night. When I got home after finishing up and I was so tiered, I just wanted to eat something and curl up in bed. The smell of her cooking greeted me at the door, god that girl could cook, my nose pulled me into the kitchen without my brain thinking it. I spent some time just standing in the door way watching her fine arse sway as she worked, tiered as I was the movement of her hips had a vaguely hypnotic effect. I had tried to be affectionate with her but it was a forced act, I had to try.
Now I walked up behind her without thinking and wrapped my arms around her, her body fitted so well into mine, I inhaled deeply the smell of her hair. I know it was mostly shampoo but it was her smell, years later I still look for her when I catch that sent. She moved her head to the side to give me access to her neck, I learned down and kiss her neck. I ran my tongue up her neck to her jaw , she purred deeply as I kiss her cheek. I moved back ever so slightly and nibble her earlobe gently. Her lips parted and she let out a long moan of lust and sexual frustration, it had been weeks since we had had sex and even longer since we had had good sex.
She turned pushing her ample breast into my chest, my hands slipped down her back coming to rest on the curve of her arse. “Welcome back, I have missed you” she whispered to me, looking up at me with those big eyes that could see into my soul. I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers, the kiss was long and deep, more based on need that love, her tongue met mine passionately, breathing became something for other people as our mouths moved as one. We broke off panting, I looked down at her smiling face, that smile had been in short supply lately, that was my fault and I would do anything to keep it there. I move back down to kiss her and she put her hand to my mouth.
“Not right now silly or the food will burn” she laughed at me “if we do anything more I don’t think I could stop myself from ripping off your clothes right here. So go and set the table, go!” she pushed me off playfully. Dinner was exquisite torture, sitting there trying not to touch her when every part of my body wanted to melt into hers. I wolfed my food down without tasting it but she ate slowly continually glancing at me with an evil grin. My dad knew what was going on and was not going to pass up the chance to mess with me, ask Faye any question he could think of to stretch out the meal. In the end I kicked him under the table to get him to stop.
I grabbed Faye’s hand and pretty much dragged her from the table, she was happy, smiling and laughing for the first time in weeks. My dad made a crack about us having an early night but I wasn’t listening, my whole world had shrunk to Faye. Fuck the corner, fuck the gang, right now she was all that mattered. I knew that I was still me, that in the morning I would still be the vicious, violent thug but for tonight I was going to pretend that I am normal.
The second the door closed I wrapped my arms around her hips and pulled her into me, there was no kissing, no petting, just holding each other tightly, listening to each other breath. I really don’t know how long we stayed like that but it felt good, it was only when I thought about letting go that I noticed I had picked her up of the floor and was holding her into me. I smiled down at her as I put her down on the floor.
“Are you ok with this?” I asked her “I would understand if you didn’t want to... with me.” There was a long silence as she looked deep into my eyes. I could see the love and the lust in her eyes and underneath I could see the fear, the fear I had put there. She loved me but she was scared of me and I hated myself for that, I didn’t want her to fear she was the only person I didn’t want her to fear me. She broke eye contact and leaned in to me.
“I want to” she whispered just loud enough to hear. With that I began to undress her. It was awkward and clumsy to strip, it had always been so easy but now it was like we had no idea of each other’s body, we didn’t move as one anymore. That change the second we where naked, all the knowledge of her came flooding back as our bodies began to move as one again.
My hands roamed the soft bits of her body, enjoying her warm flesh moving under my touch, as we kissed. Her own hands began to trace lines across my muscles, it took me a few seconds to realise that she was following my scars with her finger tips, along the fresh pink and old white. It was a strange feeling, the slight difference in feeling when they passed from one bit of skin to the other, it tickled, but was such a turn on. I pushed her back onto the bed and learned down into her, I kissed her collar bone ever so gently, starting at her shoulder and moving inch by inch inwards towards her sternum, each tiny contact making her tremor involuntarily, little whimpers slipping between her lips.
I wanted to make this go on as long as I could, I wanted to drive her crazy before I was done. I kept going down her sternum until my mouth was between her breasts. I ran my tongue over her breast in a slowly decreasing spiral moving towards the now hard nipple at the centre. My tongue found the bundle of nerves making her moan in pleasure and when I took it between my lips and sucked she let out a scream far closer to animal the human. Soon I moved over to the other nipple, moving my hand up to take the place of my mouth on the first. I enjoy listening to her moan for a while longer before I began to move down.
I ran my tongue down the flat of her stomach, pausing momentarily to run it around her cute little belly button before continuing downwards. I had almost forgotten the way she tasted, the wonderful taste, I moved my tongue slowly along the whole length of her slit savouring that taste. She was already wet, I knew she would be ready, but I wasn’t close to done playing with her sexy little body yet. I used one hand to spread her for better access, she moved her legs to help, and put my head back down. I ran the underside of my tongue from side to side just underneath her clit being careful not to touch it. She had stopped moaning and had moved on to deep breathing, each breath a little shorter than the last, getting closer and closer to panting.
“I am going to cum” She gasped, she didn’t need to tell me, I knew her, I could feel her body getting closer and closer to its peak. But with her telling me I decided it was time to push her over. I moved up her a fraction, devouring her clit enthusiastically, I slipped two fingers on my free hand into her look for her g-spot, moving them in and out while pressed against the front wall of her warm, wet pussy. I did the trick, she climaxed. Her back arched, her muscles tensed, her pussy contracted around me finger sending small waves of her sweet juices into my mouth and she let out a single, long scream of pure ecstasy. I kept my hand moving, kept my tongue working as I hungrily lapped her juices, I wanted to keep her cumming for as long as I could.
It had to come to an end at some point, she crashed back onto the bed panting. I moved back up and held her in my arms as she recovered, kissing her knowing that she could taste herself on my lips. “I want to feel you in my now” she purred into my ear. This was lucky, while I was happy to just lie next to her I was painfully aroused by now and I am not sure I could have stopped there.
I moved back on top of her, lining myself up. She was so wet from her orgasm I slipped into her easily. God she felt good underneath me as I picked up pace. The way she smelt, the little squeaks she gave with each trust, the bounce of her breasts, how her hips move up to me, every part of it was good, was great. We move together as we made love, slipping into a slow, passionate tempo. I tried to hold eye contact but it felt to good and soon my eye when turned up into my skull. Each of my breaths was now a groan as I began to move faster and faster.
If I had let myself go it would have been over very quick, she was hot, I was horny and it had been awhile since we had been together. From almost the second I penetrated her I was holding back and now all my will went into making it last just a few moments longer. As I felt myself unable to hold on any longer I forced my eyes open to stare down on her pretty face, delighting in the smile of pure joy I saw there. I came. Sending spurt after spurt into her as my muscles contracted with minds of their own. I collapsed on top of her unable to move.
It was a while until I came back to the world, blinking, and rolled off her letting my cock slip out of her. Given her earlier climax she hadn’t during sex but she now set about rectifying that with her hands as she lay next to me. I held her as she masturbated enjoying the noise and feel of the girl pleasuring herself so close to me. The sex must have been better for her than I had thought because she was very close and it didn’t take long before she was screaming out her second orgasm of the night.
She pulled her fingers up to her mouth and licked them clean, making sure I was watching her do it. I lay there as her breathing got slower and she drifted off feeling the love between us. It wasn’t the same as it had once been, it wasn’t the simple, pure puppy love that we had once had. She had seen the darkness that I carried within me, had met the monster, and she hadn’t run away. She still loved me and I knew that all of me, even the monster loved her. It wasn’t the same, it was darker, sadder and deeper, it may have lost it innocence but I knew it was better. I shut my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
We woke up that way and everything was ok again. Life was good. Over the next weeks I rebuilt my corner, made it strong, I repaired a lot of my old friendship and began working with Cain again. He acted as if I had pass some tested he had set all along. And all it was ok because at night I got to crawl into bed with the girl I loved.
I was happy, I was in love but the estate cared not for happiness or love. It was hell, what it wanted was to crush you, and you either let it or you became part of it. Happiness was fleeting and I was just waiting for the estate to slap me again.