Sex in the Garden of Eden. A true story, OK maybe not.
Hello people. Hope you are doing well out there in Fantasy Land. What, you say you are not in Fantasy Land? Oh you will be soon. Don't worry, because we are going deep into Fantasy Land. So deep, we may never return. And believe me, you will go to Fantasy Land with me. Even if I have to pick you up and sling you over my shoulder. So come with me, to Fantasy Land.
It all started innocently enough one fine day back in the eighties. If you recall from a previous story, Rich and I ventured into the alarm business. This was in addition to our core business of telephone system installation and repair. In order to design better alarm systems we hired a guy named Carl. A real whiz kid. A bit nerdy, but a real genius. If you recall Carl invented a time machine. I being the adventurous type, was the first to try it out. Went all the way back to Chicago 1962. Had a great time by the way. Oh yea, that girl was fine, like fine wine. It took me a while to recover after I got back. Let me tell you people, this time travel stuff is rough on the body. Talk about jet lag, you have no idea. But, anyway...I thought it time to give it another try. I had time to get back in the swing of things and I was just itching for a new adventure. So, while at the office one day I decided it was time to talk to Carl again.
"Carl my man." I started.
"Yes." He answered.
"Carl, does that time machine of yours still work?" I asked.
"Oh yes." He said excitedly, "In fact it is better than ever. I can send you anywhere, anytime real quick now."
"Good." I said, "Hey, you don't think we can try it out again do you?"
"Um, I don't see why not." He said, "I just have to start it up. Give me a minute."
The lights in the room suddenly dimmed for a moment as needles moved and panel lights flashed. There was a momentary hum from the machine.
"Where do you want to go this time?" Carl asked hesitantly.
"Oh, I want to go way back this time. All the way back to the time of Adam and Eve." I stated with confidence, "You know, the dawn of creation. The origin of mankind."
"Oh, I don't know." Started Carl, "That might be a bit dangerous. There might still be dinosaurs and wild animals running around. You sure?"
"Oh yea, I'm sure." I stated. I think I was sure, but what the heck. How dangerous can it be? I mean, this is a fantasy.
"Well, alright." Carl said.
"Oh, by the way." I started, "How do I get back?"
Last time I just sort of got lucky. This time I had to ask.
"Just snap your fingers on your right hand three times in a row." Carl answered.
Hmmm...Three times in a row. I have to remember that.
"Well, I'm ready. Shall we do it?" I asked boldly.
Carl pushed some buttons and twirled some knobs. Colored lights flickered on and off as the machine hummed louder. He punched some numbers into his keyboard. Once again the room started to spin out of control. I felt funny. My head started to spin and I felt lightheaded. I shook, I started to sweat. My mind started to race at a fast pace. I was out of control and there was no stopping it now.
I woke up on a deserted beach. The water was relatively calm as the waves gently kissed the shoreline. The sky was a deep blue with a few snow white clouds hanging low like cotton candy. There were trees off in the distance as the white sand beach receded into what appeared to be woods. I took in the beautiful scenery for a moment. The air seemed so fresh and pure by the water I didn't want to leave the gorgeous white sand. I knew I had a mission, though. I turned away from the water and started walking towards the woods.
Once I reached the wooded area I was once again in awe of the natural beauty. As I walked through the dense forest, I looked up and saw seemingly endless amounts of colorful birds flying around carefree in a truly natural habitat. The trees all seemed to have leaves of deep green and grew straight and tall. I could hear the calls of various animals in the distance, no doubt not used to a human visitor passing through. After continuing on for some time longer, I paused to rest. I leaned against the bark of a large oak tree and took a deep breath. The air was so clean and pure it seemed to have almost a cleansing effect on the body. Suddenly, I heard a noise in the distance. It sounded like footsteps.
"Who goes there?" I asked quietly.
There was silence.
"Who is there?" I inquired.
I walked for a moment and suddenly came face to face with a handsome, youthful man dressed in only a couple of fig leaves and a vine. He was carrying a few coconuts and seemed quite startled as I approached.
"I'm sorry." I said as he suddenly drew back, "You must be Adam."
The young man looked me over cautiously for a minute. His gaze was intense at first as he sized me up. After a few more moments he spoke.
"Coconut?" He held out his hand offering me his find.
"No, I just ate." I said, "Thanks anyway."
"Coconut." Adam repeated.
"No, um, I'm Alan. Pleased to meet you." I offered him my hand.
Adam stared at me again in curiosity. I had to be the first man he has ever seen. After a few moments he stuck out his hand and shook mine.
"Adam." He said.
"Yes, you're Adam." I confirmed. There was no doubt in my mind who he was.
"Adam." He repeated, this time pointing to himself, "Adam."
Not much of a talker I thought to myself. I guess language skills were not particularly well developed back then. Adam will never be known in history for his literary skills. Heck, history is not even a subject yet in schools. Come to think of it, there aren't even schools yet. We are still thousands of years away from literature and poetry. I am starting to see why.
We travel a fairly well worn path through the dense forest. I can tell Adam has taken this route many times before. He seems to know exactly where he is going. After a while the trees start to become more widely spaced. I can see bright blue skies overhead. I can hear birds singing in the distance. The sun is shining brightly on this beautiful clear day. There are colorful flowers everywhere as hummingbirds and bees fly around gathering nectar. We are soon standing in the middle of this giant paradise. In the center a giant fruit tree rises up majestically. I think to myself that this has to be the most beautiful place I have ever seen. I realize we are in the Garden of Eden.
While standing in the garden a chimpanzee runs up to us excitedly and grabs Adam's hand.
"Brenda." Adam says, pointing to the chimp.
"Brenda?" I ask.
"Brenda." He repeats.
Brenda the chimp. OK, so it is Adam, Eve and Brenda the chimp. Don't recall reading that in the Bible. Then again I don't recall reading the Bible, but that is another story.
The three of us start walking towards a thatched hut. It is a crude affair, covered partially in dried mud and leaves. Adam goes inside briefly while Brenda and I wait outside. In a moment, Adam emerges with the most beautiful young woman I have ever seen. She has auburn hair and big green eyes that sparkle in the sun. She is wearing only fig leaves, strategically placed and held by a vine tied in the back. Hmmm, I think. I wonder how easy that is to untie.
"You must be Eve." I start. "I'm Alan."
"Eve. Eve." Adam smiles, obviously proud of his gorgeous mate.
I look into Eve's gorgeous eyes as she stands in the Garden of Eden. Man, there is something I'd like to plant in her garden I think to myself. Eve just smiles back silently. In a moment Brenda seems to get a bit agitated. I look to my right and see two chimpanzees going at it as the male takes the female from behind.
Suddenly, Adam grabs Eve and bends her over. He gets behind her and starts humping away. I cover my eyes not really wanting to see the sight before me. Brenda is jumping up and down excitedly and making all sorts of chimp noises. In a minute it is over. I uncover my eyes to see Adam standing there with a big proud grin on his face and Eve looking a bit unenthusiastic.
"Like monkey." I say, pointing off towards the chimps.
"Like monkey." Adam says with a huge grin on his face.
I think to myself that this Adam guy is a real minuteman. I guess he doesn't have much to go on. It will be years before sex books and Playboy magazine. Heck, it will be at least a hundred thousand years before sex fantasy web sites. I wonder what people do around here for entertainment I think to myself. Then it hits me. Eve has probably never had an orgasm. Not if all she has is Adam. I start to realize the first woman in the world has never had her first orgasm.
Wow, was my mind racing as I stood there in the Garden of Eden. I felt like saying to Adam, move over son and I'll show you how it's done. Somehow it didn't really seem right though, did it? Messing with scripture and all. No, not me.
I looked at Eve standing there after she straightened up. She had a coy smile on her face. She was looking at me with what I perceived to be a longing look. Man, she was hot looking in those fig leaves. She was without a doubt not used to seeing other guys in the area. All she had was Adam. At least she didn't have to worry about him cheating on her. Hell, if he ever came home smelling of sex, she would have to look at Brenda. I didn't really want to think about it.
"You come here often?" I asked her, trying to lighten the mood.
Eve just stared at me with those big starry eyes. What was going on in her mind I wondered? Did the first woman on Earth find me attractive? I know Adam had first dibs, but man was my mind racing again.
Eve didn't say much. Linguistic skills apparently left a lot to be desired in those days. Wow, I thought. Here is a hot looking woman that doesn't talk. As I stood there in the Garden of Eden staring at Eve, I knew this had to be a fantasy.
Later that day Adam took me for a tour of the garden with Brenda as Eve stayed home and did her chores. We returned to the hut later for a meal of dinosaur and coconut milk. After that the four of us took a stroll around the Garden of Eden. As we were strolling along, once again Brenda became agitated. I looked out in the field and once again saw two chimps going at it. Once again, Adam bent Eve over and started humping her from behind. Once again, Brenda started jumping up and down making loud chimp noises. Once again, I closed my eyes not really needing to see the first couple getting it on.
I thought to myself, why isn't Eve pregnant? I mean Adam has certainly been giving it to her at every opportunity. Could the first man be shooting blanks? I wondered.
When it was over, about a minute later, Adam once again had that huge grin on his face.
"Like monkey." He said proudly.
"Like monkey." I agreed.
That night we all slept comfortably on straw on the floor of the hut. It was a cool evening and sleeping was easy except for Brenda's snoring. When morning came, Eve cooked a hearty breakfast of dinosaur eggs and coconut milk. After breakfast we all took a stroll through the garden. The roses were in full bloom along with a wide variety of other flowers. It was quite beautiful and colorful. I picked a rose and handed it to Eve. She took it and smiled at me, her big eyes sparkling in the morning sun.
We strolled on until we came to the coconut groves. The coconuts hung in reach, like Christmas ornaments at the holiday season. It all looked so glorious. As we strolled slowly enjoying the wonderful fresh morning air in the Garden, once again Brenda became agitated. I looked over yonder and once again I saw two chimps getting it on in full view. Once again Adam got excited and started humping Eve from behind as Brenda jumped up and down wildly. Once again I shielded my eyes.
After a brief moment my curiosity got the best of me. I took my hands away from my face and surveyed the scene before me. I almost could not believe my eyes. As Brenda jumped up and down, Adam was humping away just as he observed the monkeys doing. Except as I got closer I realized nobody had told him he has to actually stick his cock in one of the holes!
As I stood there wide-eyed in amazement it dawned on me. Not only has the first woman on the planet never had an orgasm, but she is most likely still a virgin! I had to act fast.
I walked over to one of the coconut trees and grabbed a coconut with each hand. I walked over beside Adam as he was humping on Eve's butt and put out my left hand containing one of the coconuts.
"Coconut?" I asked.
Adam paused and glanced at the coconut for a moment. With the other hand I whacked him on the back of the head with the other coconut. He immediately went down.
Eve looked up in bewilderment as Brenda continued jumping up and down.
"Help me drag him over there." I said to Eve. She did not seem to understand.
I dragged Adam's groggy body over to one of the coconut trees and tied him to the trunk with a vine. A few minutes later he awoke, still with a throbbing erection. Oh well, I thought. Tough luck, though I thought I saw Brenda heading over that way. Definitely don't want to look at that.
I grabbed Eve by the hand. She smiled at me and stared up with those big green eyes. Her long auburn hair shone brightly in the sun. We walked hand in hand to the middle of the Garden of Eden under the big fruit tree. I grabbed Eve by the shoulders and planted a big passionate kiss on her luscious lips. I proceeded to nibble at her cheek as my tongue found it's way to her ear lobe. I delicately caressed her ear lobes with my tongue as she sighed.
I then made my way down her neck with my soft kisses holding her firm by the shoulders. When I got to her breasts, I tore away the fig leaves revealing perky young nipples that pointed to the morning sky. I teased her engorged nipples with my tongue as I caressed her perfect rounded breasts. Her soft moans filled my ears as the fresh air and scent of the wild flowers filled my nostrils.
I made my way down her stomach with my kisses until I got to the fig leaf covering her soft mound. I undid the vine holding the leaf in place with my teeth as I laid her down under the apple tree in the Garden of Eden. I spread her legs and kissed her from her toes up towards her womanhood paying special attention to the insides of her soft thighs. I kissed and nibbled alternately at each thigh as I approached her soft mound. Her wetness was glistening in the morning sun as she lies on her back among the wild flowers in the Garden of Eden. Her delicate scent intermingled with the scent of the many flowers and plants forming a feast for my senses as I began to kiss her delicate folds with my lips and tongue. Her soft moans became increasingly louder as I worked my tongue in circles around her engorged button as I fingered her moist love canal. As her body responded to my increased stimulation, I rose up on my knees and presented her wanting womanhood with my engorged member. Slowly inserting my entire length, I began to thrust. Slowly at first I began to take the first woman on Earth under the apple tree. Gradually increasing my intensity, her moans turned to screams of passion as her tightening pussy clenched my shaft and milked me of every drop. We both came together, the first woman on Earth and myself as brightly colored birds and animals nodded in approval from their distant perches.
When it was over, we held each other close enjoying each other's company. We each glanced at each other longingly recalling the special moment we just shared.
Eve and I began to make love on a regular basis in the Garden of Eden. Sometimes under the apple tree, other times in meadows of wildflowers as the birds sang overhead. It was all very romantic as we fed each other wild berries right off the vine and walked hand in hand through this paradise. It seemed Eve forgot all about Adam at this point.
Our lovemaking trysts went on for a number of days. One morning while sitting under the apple tree with Eve, I noticed she had been getting sick. Was she pregnant, I thought? This was about a hundred thousand years before the pill. Then it hit me. If I impregnated the first woman on the planet, that would make me the father of the universe. All mankind would be my descendents. Wow, I thought. It was truly mindboggling.
As I was basking in my newfound importance, something else suddenly hit me. If I am the father of all mankind, that might come with a bit of responsibility. Food, clothing, college, child support. Oh my God, I thought. Just as I was starting to think I want out, an apple fell out of the tree and hit Eve on the head. I was just about to snap my fingers three times when I saw Eve pick it up and put it to her mouth.
"Don't eat that!" I shouted.
It was too late. She took a bite.
Suddenly dark clouds started to form overhead. The sky turned pitch black as the Earth started to tremble.
"We got to get out of here!" I yelled.
I grabbed Eve by the hand and began running towards the forest. On the way we went through the coconut grove. Adam was still tied to the tree with Brenda nearby.
"Almost forgot." I exclaimed.
I quickly untied Adam and led the three of them through the forest. Loud thunder bursts and bolts of lightning struck the ground around us as the Garden of Eden was slowly destroyed. The high winds and torrential rains were making it difficult to see but we found our way to the shore. It was calm by the shore. The clear blue water was still and the sun shone over the white sand.
I turned and looked at my hosts. Eve looked longingly at me with those big green eyes. Brenda looked at me, well like a chimp. Adam just looked at me.
I turned to Eve and spoke.
"Look girl, we had some good times together but I have to move on." I started, "I think you learned a few things maybe you can pass on."
I casually glanced at Adam who looked like he needed a shower.
Eve just continued her longing glances with those big eyes. I knew what I had to do.
"Goodbye people. Later." I spoke.
With that I turned back towards the water and snapped the fingers of my right hand three times.
I suddenly felt everything around me start to spin. My mind started to race as I began to shake. I felt lightheaded as everything began spinning real fast.
I woke up back in a chair at work. Carl was standing in front of me staring.
"How did it go?" He asked.
"Would you believe I'm your great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather?" I asked.
Carl just continued to stare at me. I got up and went into my office and sat down at my desk. I felt hungry from the trip. I was hoping I had something to eat in my desk.
I opened the desk drawer. Only thing I have to eat is an apple. Suddenly I lost my appetite. I went back to work.