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Anne’s back arched as she came down on her husband. She hissed “Yesss…” as her orgasm hit.
Ray looked at his wife, his hands holding onto her hips as he thrust higher, releasing his hot cum into her womb. His cock spasmed and squirted, filling her until he felt it seep out of her pussy and run down his balls.
Anne collapsed, exhausted, onto her husband’s chest, still trembling from her orgasm. She nestled her face into his neck, keeping him inside her.
She whispered, “I love you, Ray. Who would have thought, all those years ago…?”
Ray smiled as he stroked Anne’s back and held her tightly. He thought back to their first meeting. It was homecoming, their senior year at UCLA. She seemed to take and instant dislike to him, but by the end of the evening they were locked in each other’s arms. They were never apart after that.
Now, twelve years later, Anne was still as beautiful as she was in college. Her dark hair hung to her shoulders in soft waves. After the birth of their daughters, her breasts were still round, full, and perky, her stomach was fairly flat, and her butt and hips, nicely rounded. Her brown eyes, framed with long black eyelashes, sparkled each time she looked at him.
They were a striking couple. Anne, with her Chilean blood, and Ray with his Philippine background. He was the tallest in his family at five feet, nine inches, almond-shaped brown eyes, slight of build with short black hair. When their daughters grew up, he hoped they would have the best attributes of both.
Anne rolled off Ray and curled up against his side, on the rug in front of the fireplace. It had been a wonderful evening. The twins, Marie and Christine, were at Ray’s parent’s house. They had gone out for a quiet dinner, then came home and made love under the lights of the Christmas tree. It was, by far, their favorite time of year. There was a fresh covering of snow outside, that gave their home a magical look.
They were startled by the ringing of the telephone, on the table above their heads.
“Let the machine get it,” said Ray.
“But what if it’s about the kids?”
“We’re right here and we’ll hear the message. Please don’t worry,” he whispered, and covered her mouth with his.
“Ray? Anne? Hi, it’s just me. I was feeling a little lonely, but I guess you’re out. Hope the girls are good. I miss you guys. I miss Carla, too. Oh well…guess we’ll talk soon…well, bye.”
The call was over and the room was quiet, except for the sound of Anne’s soft sobs.
“Shhhh, baby. Come on, now. I know I know…I miss her, too.”
Anne’s twin sister, Carla, and her unborn baby had been killed by a drunk driver four months ago. Ann knew the moment it happened. Ray saw his wife double over in pain, then nothing. But she knew. All she could say was Carla’s name, over and over again.
It had been instantaneous, so she didn’t suffer. No, that was left to her husband, Noel. His legs had been crushed, and his left arm broken. He was in a coma for two weeks, and his wife was buried without him even knowing she was gone. When he regained consciousness, Ray and Anne volunteered to break the news to him. The three held each other and cried, until there were no more tears. Now, Noel was all alone. Carla and their baby had been his only family.
Noel sounded so forlorn on the phone, when Ray had calmed his wife and sent her off to clean up; he picked up the phone and dialed. At first he didn’t think Noel would answer. After five rings, he finally heard the phone pick up and a very quiet answer.
“Noel, its Ray. Hey man, Anne and I just got back from dinner. You okay? I mean really. Are you okay?”
Ray could hear Noel’s deep breaths. There were no words, only crying.
Finally, Noel said, “I miss her so damn much, Ray. What am I going to do without her?” The words came out in gulps. “I just don’t think I can do this anymore.”
Fear raced through Ray’s mind. “Look Noel, Anne and I were going to call you tomorrow. Do you think you could come here for a few weeks? We’ve got the fold-out couch in the study and there’s a small bath down here, so you wouldn’t have to worry about the stairs. The girls miss their Uncle Noel, and it would be a good thing for all of us. No…no, it’s no bother. We want you here. We need you here.”
Anne stood in the doorway, listening to her husband. His voice was steady, but she could see tears forming in his eyes.
“Yeah? Good, okay. Call us tomorrow with your flight information so we can meet you. Don’t worry, okay? We’re going to get through this. Yeah. Sure. Hey, I love you, man. Uh huh…bye.”
Fresh from her shower, wrapped in a terry cloth robe, Anne crossed to her husband when he hung up the phone. Ray pulled her onto his lap and they held each other close.
“I can’t imagine ever losing you or the girls, “he said in a hushed tone. “Anne, I was really afraid he might do something. He sounded that desperate. So alone. I know I should have checked with you, but…”
Anne held her finger to his lips to silence his words. “Shhhh, honey, its fine. You did exactly right by asking him here. We’re all he has now. He was my sister’s husband, my brother-in-law, the twins’ uncle. He’s family and nothing will ever change that. Thank you, thank you for being so thoughtful,” she said as she kissed his lips.
The couple sat by the firelight, under the glow of the Christmas tree, each silently offering up a pray that Noel would find peace.
They heard the beep, beep, beep of the airport cart, getting closer to the waiting area. Noel looked embarrassed holding onto his crutches, with his leg propped over the front of the cart. Except for the full leg cast, he looked well. Marie and Christine jumped up with excitement when he got off the cart, steadied himself, and walked through the glass doors. Anne and Ray tried to stop them, but it was too late. The girls took off towards their uncle, almost knocking him over. The six year olds chattered like little birds, each vying for Uncle Noel’s undivided attention.
Ray and Noel swapped a “man-hug”, looking at each other, knowing words weren’t needed. When Anne stepped forward to greet her brother-in-law, Noel’s heart skipped a beat. God, he thought, she looks exactly like Carla. It was almost painful to hold her, but he also didn’t want to let her go. She stayed in his arms until he backed away with a light brush of his lips across hers. He looked into her eyes, seeing his wife looking back at him, for just a moment. Noel gently swept her soft hair away from her face, and then pulled back.
It was awkward, but they finally got Noel and his bags into the van. The ride to Anne and Ray’s house was filled with the nose of excited girls. Noel couldn’t help but smile at them; identical, but different. He occasionally looked at Anne, so much like Carla, but different. He assumed her softness came from being a mom, something Carol was looking forward to, with great enthusiasm. Now, well now there was nothing any more.
Ray and Anne’s 1800’s stone house looked like something off a Christmas card. An evergreen wreath hung on each window and an electric candle glowed from inside them. The group carefully made their way up the sidewalk that now had a light covering of snow. The large wreath on the front door was decorated with red berries and a bright red bow. It smelled of the rich scent of balsam.
The only thing missing from Anne and Ray’s home, to make the picture complete, was a big dog lying by the Christmas tree. Their home was warm and inviting, like walking into a hug.
They bundled up the girls and sent them outside to play, so they could get Noel settled. He was embarrassed at how much his sister-in-law fussed over him.
“I emptied the drawers in the entertainment armoire, and I made room in the hallway closet for hanging your clothes. The cabinet in the bathroom is empty and there are plenty of towels there and clean sheets on the sofa bed. Can I help you unpack?” asked Anne, while she flitted about.
“Anne, really, you’ve done enough. I can get this. I’m really pretty self-sufficient, even with the big cast. The only thing is keeping the cast as dry as possible.”
Anne realized she was going to have to be careful, or she’d end up smothering Noel. ‘Take your lead from him,’ she thought.
“Okay, I’ll let you alone and head into the kitchen.” She looked at Noel and couldn’t resist the urge. She walked to him, reached up and put her arms around him. “I love you and we’ll always be here for you. We’re family.”
She let go of him and hastily left the room, so he wouldn’t see her tears.
Ray turned to Noel, after closing the door behind his wife.
“What can I do, Noel? I’m not real good at this, but you know whatever you need, you got it.”
Noel looked around the study; honey colored wood-paneled walls, a stone fireplace, miniature Christmas tree on the table, and big over-stuffed furniture. It felt like home – no, better – because he wasn’t alone.
“I’m good. I’ll put my stuff away and be with you guys in a bit.”
Ray nodded and reached for the doorknob.
“Ray? Thanks. I mean that. You guys saved my life, asking me here,” Noel said and dropped his head. “I, uh…I wasn’t doing real well. After talking with you, I called my grief counselor and talked it out. I should have been doing that, but I had stopped going.”
Noel’s voice cracked, “I miss her so much. Damn it! I’m so god-damned lonely. She’s all I had.” His shoulder shook as the tears rolled down his cheeks. “I really need you guys.”
Ray moved to Noel’s side and held him. Together, they cried. Ray could only try to understand Noel’s pain. He knew one thing – he was not letting him go back until he was sure Noel was okay. Ray meant what he had said – anything he needed. He’d give Noel his right arm, if he had to.
After dinner that night, Anne thought the girls were being surprisingly quiet; too quiet. She checked upstairs, the living room, the basement, but couldn’t find them. Ray was shoveling the sidewalk, maybe they went out with him.
As she walked to the front door, she glanced in the study. Sitting on the sofa, little six year old bookends, on either side of him, was Noel. The girls sat absolutely still as he read to them.
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”
Applause and screeching broke the quiet.
“Read it again, please Uncle Noel?”
“No! I want Polar Express.”
Anne interrupted them, “Okay girls, that’s it. One story a night is enough. Get your jammies and head to the bathroom. Brush your teeth before your bath.”
The girls said goodnight and went upstairs, with the promise that Uncle Noel would eat breakfast with them, before school. After the twins were tucked in their beds, the three adults gathered in the living room. Ray had a crackling fire burning when Anne returned with a tray of coffee. The soft sounds of Kenny G’s Holiday Collection played in the background.
“Tell me what you want to do tomorrow,” Anne said to Noel. “I’ve taken off the next three weeks, so my van is at your disposal.”
“I suppose I should get the girls some Christmas gifts. Actually, I need to get gifts for everyone.”
“I can do that for you, if you like,” Anne offered.
“No, no. I’d really like to do this myself, but if you could help me, I’d appreciate it. I wouldn’t know where to begin with buttons and bows, and such.”
“I’ll take you to a small shop in the village. I think the mall would be a little much for your crutches. And, if you’re good, I’ll let you buy me lunch.”
They stayed up chatting for a couple of hours, before settling down to sleep.
Anne wasn’t sure what woke her that night. She grabbed he robe and went into the girl’s room; nothing but silence. Still, there was a noise. She made her way downstairs, listening intently for the sound.
There – it came from the study. Anne knocked softy on the door, and then opened it. The small tree glowed from the corner of the study. Noel appeared to be asleep, but the sounds were coming from him.
Anne’s heart wrenched in her chest, when she realized he was crying, in his sleep. She stood over him and bent to put her hand in his troubled brow.
“Shhhh Noel. Shhhh, its Anne. Come on, sweetie, wake up. You’re having a bad dream.”
Very unexpectedly, Noel blinding reached, took her hand, and pulled her down to him. His arms wrapped around her as she tried to pull away. Still sleeping, Noel sought her out and muttered, “Oh Carla, don’t leave me.”
Anne was startled by his words, and then by what happened next. As if in slow motion, he pulled her closer and found her mouth. His kiss was tender and brief. Almost as soon as it began, he fell back into a deep sleep.
Anne crawled out of his arms and left him. She was troubled by what had occurred. When she got back to her bedroom, her heart was aching over what she had witnessed. After she got back into bed, she found she couldn’t settle down.
“Honey?” Anne rolled to face her sleeping husband, and put her hand on his chest. “Ray, I need to talk to you.”
Ray’s eyes opened and he turned to face her. Anne calmly relayed the incident, but then started to cry.
“Baby, please, what’s wrong? Are you upset because Noel thought you were Carla? Are you upset because he kissed you? Anne, tell me.”
“I wish I knew for sure. It’s not because he was asleep and thought I was Carla. I think it’s because he’s hurting so bad. What were we thinking? What does he see when he looks at me? God, I never even considered that.”
He held her tight, promising he would watch Noel and talk to him, if it looked like he needed it. In his mind, he had already decided to check out grief counselors. With the holidays, he thought Noel might need to know the availability – and maybe Anne, too.
Breakfast was a hurried and noisy affair, but when the girls and Ray were out the door, it was almost too quiet. Anne looked to see if there was any kind of reaction from Noel, but there was none. He said he slept okay, after some fitful dreams. ‘He doesn’t know’, thought Anne.
Anne was just finishing up in the kitchen, ready to grab a shower, when Noel appeared in the doorway.
“Anne, can you help me?” Noel looked a little embarrassed. “I need to protect the cast from water, and normally I use large garbage bags, but I left them home.”
“Well, we don’t have any that large, but I can give you some plastic wrap and you can protect it that way. We’ll get bags while we’re out today.”
“If you can help me that would be great. I can’t reach my foot, so if you can start at the bottom, I’ll be okay. Meet you in the study?”
Anne nodded, grabbed the wrap from the pantry and met Noel in the bathroom. He was standing in his robe, leaning on one crutch.
“I’ll be glad when this comes off,” he said. “After the first of the year, I’ll be a free man.”
Anne knelt in front of him, and carefully began to unroll the plastic wrap. She would work her way up his leg, starting at his foot. Noel watched her as she worked. He knew he was looking at Anne, but the sight of her kneeling in front of him, brought back a flood of memories. Carla had loved pleasuring him with her mouth and she was damn good at it. He looked at the top of Anne’s dark head and remembered. His cock jumped and grew at the thought.
Anne glanced up. She thought she had seen movement. Noel’s robe was clearly tented. Anne was nervous and as her hands moved higher up his leg, they started to shake. Noel could see her unease and then saw why. He coughed, shifted and reached for the roll of wrap.
“I can take it from here, thanks.”
Anne beat a hasty retreat to her room, and made her way into the shower. The warm water trailed down her body. She thought about Noel’s cock and immediately her nipples hardened. She wondered what he had been thinking about that caused his hardness. She knew her twin adored him and had enthusiastically told her about their love-making. He was her life and she his – now it was over.
Anne and Noel went shopping and she guided him through the little girl’s department, stressing the importance of the twin’s individuality. His pace slowed when they had to walk through the baby department, his eyes focused on the wooden cribs and soft pastel blankets.
That night, the twins went to sit with Uncle Noel for a story. Ray and Anne heard them telling him good night, and then came to find their parents. Ray and Anne liked to tuck them into bed together, as often as possible.
They had turned to leave when Christine whispered loudly, “Mommy, can I tell you a secret?”
“What’s up, honey?” Anne asked.
“Uncle Noel was crying. Mommy, we asked him what he wanted for Christmas and he said nobody could give him anything, and then he started to cry.”
Marie chimed in,” He didn’t think we could see, but we did. Mommy, is Uncle Noel sad about Aunt Carla?”
Anne kept her voice steady and calm. “Yes girls, Uncle Noel is sad and that’s okay. It’s okay to be sad when somebody goes to Heaven. Now, don’t you worry, we’ll find Uncle Noel a perfect Christmas gift.”
When they left the girls, Anne and Ray looked at each other.
“Should we talk to him?” asked Ray.
“I think we should ask if he’s okay,” Anne replied. “We’ll listen if he wants to talk.”
Anne made coffee and brought it into the living room. While Ray added another log to the fire, she called Noel to join them. When he came into the room, Anne could see that his eyes were red and puffy.
Ray and Noel sat on the sofa, savoring the quiet after girls had gone to sleep. Noel looked weary.
“You okay?” asked Ray. He reached over and put his hand on Noel’s shoulder.
Noel’s shoulders drooped as he quietly spoke. “I’m sorry. I’m trying so hard to be festive, but it hurts so badly. The girls are adorable and I love them, but God it’s so hard to see them and not think about what I’ll never have. Anne, I look at you and I think of Carla. I’m sorry,” he said as he started to cry. “I just want my wife and baby back, and I know I can’t have that.”
Noel’s shoulders started to shake as he sobbed. Ray and Anne moved to him and the three held each other on the sofa. Anne’s heart felt like it would break. In the past, she would have called Carla and asked her what to do. Now, as she held Carla’s husband in her arms, thoughts raced through her head, and through her heart.
The three went off to the separate beds, emotionally exhausted. Ray was snoring before his head hit the pillow. As tired as she was, Anne was also restless. It wasn’t long before she heard Noel, again. She grabbed her robe and went to him.
Just like the night before, she found him crying in his sleep. Again, she put her hand on his forehead and whispered to him that everything would be all right. She should have known it would happen, but logic did not dictate her actions – love did.
In his dreams, Noel reached for his wife, to hold her, begging her not to leave. He took Anne into his arms and searched for her lips. She didn’t fight; she couldn’t. She allowed his mouth to capture hers in a kiss reserved for the one you love.
He pulled away saying, “Oh God Carla, I love you.” And fell back into his sleep, still holding Anne.
Anne continued to lie in his arms and at one point, dozed off. He woke her when his hands went to her breasts, kneading them and moving his hips against her. Anne rolled away from his reach and off the bed. When she went back to her bedroom, she wanted to wake Ray and tell him what had happened, but she didn’t. She had a lot to think through.
Noel made an appointment with a local support group and he and Anne fell into a happy routine. Breakfast, group, lunch, shopping, and cooking. The girls hung all over Noel when they got home from school. Anne could see the kind of father he would be.
Ray and Noel got into the habit of playing computer games at night, and Anne smiled at the laughter that would burst out of the study. ‘Boys will be boys’, she thought.
During the night, Noel could still be heard crying. Anne tried to stay away, but she couldn’t resist checking on him. Sometimes he would calm at the touch of her hand and the sound of her voice. Other times, he would reach for her, and hold her until he slept again. It was those times that she was surprised she found her body reacting to him.
Anne decided it was time to talk to Ray. They put the girls to bed and left Uncle Noel to baby sit. The night was clear and Anne suggested a walk. Bundled up with scarves and gloves, they set out into the night.
Their feet crunched on the hard-packed snow of the country lane where they lived. Their breaths hung in the air like a soft mist. There seemed to be a million stars with just a sprinkling of clouds that tossed soft, fat flakes on the couple.
They spoke about the girls, keeping their voices low, not wanting to disturb the night. Festive lights from neighboring homes exuded the warmth of the season. Ray’s arm felt good around her shoulders. How had she ever gotten so lucky, Anne could never figure it out.
On and on they walked, Anne avoiding the subject of Noel. Finally they reached the pond, where in the spring they brought the girls to catch pollywogs. Anne leaned into Ray and sighed.
“Honey, we need to talk.”
With those words, Anne began to tell Ray of Noel’s uneasy nights, and her visits to comfort him. She was completely honest with her husband, every detail, trusting in his love for her.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Anne?” he asked in a worried tone. “Can I ask what you were thinking, being in bed with him?”
“I never meant for that to happen. Ray, it wasn’t about anything other than wanting to comfort him. It tears me apart to listen to him cry.” Anne cupped Ray’s face in her hands and looked deep into his eyes. “I love you – only you. My God Ray, you and the girls are my whole life. Just like Carla was to Noel.”
She threw her arms around his neck and hung on, as if your dear life. “Oh Ray,” she whispered. “I love you, so much.”
He held her close, still so in love with her, but he had to ask, “Anne, you said your body reacted to his touch. Why?”
“I don’t know, really, I don’t. Was it pity? Was it because you and I haven’t been together since his call? I don’t know.” Anne begged him, “Please believe me, Ray, I love you. I need you.”
He kissed her then, believing her, wanting her, his body growing hard at the thought of her. “We’re going home now, and tonight you will only be in one bed.”
When they arrived home, Anne and Ray saw that Noel had already retired for the evening. Ray grabbed a couple glasses of brandy and joined Anne in their bedroom. She was just coming in from their bathroom, a white lace robe tied loosely at her waist. His breath caught, and his pants got very tight, below his belt.
She climbed onto their bed and waited for him to undress. He handed her the brandy, and joined her there. They could feel the amber liquid warm their insides. Ray leaned forward and licked an errant drop from Anne’s lips, and that was all it took. Husband and wife came together in a pure moment of love.
Ray laid her down, opening her robe and running his hands along the swell of her breast, down over the curve of her hip. Anne pulled him to lay down with her, meeting his lips with an undying passion. He kissed her eyes, her nose, and her lips again, before trailing kisses down her throat. Goose bumps formed on her body and her nipples hardened at the thought of his mouth.
As he approached her breasts, Anne raised her chest to him. His warm mouth tenderly covered them. He began to suck and a soft, low moan escaped her. She held him to her breast, not wanting the pleasure to end.
Ray suckled her breasts, switching between sucking, nibbling and flicking her nipples with his tongue. Anne’s hips began to move as his hand traveled down to her sweet-smelling womanhood. She opened her legs and he could feel the soft curls around her lips, already wet with excitement. He moved his finger up and down, working his way towards her heat.
Her clit was a hard, throbbing knob, when he circled it, gently flicking it with his finger. Anne’s back arched and she panted his name. Her hands gripped the sheets when Ray moved lower and pressed his mouth against her pussy. He pushed his tongue deep inside her, savoring the taste he fell in love with, all those years ago. Anne was like a fine wine, getting better with age.
Ray withdrew his tongue to lick the length of her slit, again, toying with her clit. He pushed a finger inside her, as he latched onto her pleasure pearl. Her orgasm was almost immediate as her hips raised off the bed.
“God Ray, get in me now,” she pleaded.
His face was still moist from her juices. Ray came up Anne’s body and positioned himself between her legs. He ran his steel-hard cock up and down her wet slit. Her wanting pussy grabbed at him, and pulled him inside her. He kissed her deeply as he penetrated her depths.
Tasting herself on him was such an aphrodisiac. Anne wrapped her shapely legs around him and drew him in deeper, meeting his passion with her own. As he slide in and out, Ray thought she was as tight as she was in college. Anne’s pussy contracted on his cock, squeezing him tighter. Ray bent and kissed Anne again, driving his cock in still deeper. Anne’s nails dug into his ass, wanting as much of him as she could get.
Faster, harder, they moved, almost desperate to prove something to each other. Ray felt cum starting to boil in his balls, right before they tensed, signaling his body to release. He held her tighter and lunged into her as the hot juice exploded deep into her womb. Waves of pleasure passed through Anne, and she felt her juices mixing with his.
Their movements slowed and their mouths met in gentle kisses. Ray rolled to Anne’s side and swept her into his arms. They cuddled, caressed, and touched each other for sometime.
“You’re incredible,” Ray said to Anne. “I never tire of your taste. We’ll be old and gray and rocking on a porch somewhere. I’ll be on my knees, my head under your skirt, shoving my tongue up you as high as I can.”
Anne giggled at the thought and snuggled closer. “And when you can’t get it up,” she said laying her hand on his flaccid cock, “I’ll still take you in my mouth. Even, with your old man smell.”
She continued, “Honey? Do you ever wish we hadn’t decided to stop with the twins? That maybe we jumped the gun with the vasectomy?”
“Why? Do you want more kids? I thought you only ever wanted two?”
“I did. It’s just that they’re getting older and not babies anymore. They need me less and less each day. Sometimes I just miss the feeling of them inside me.”
Ray searched her face, “What brought this on?”
“I don’t know. Maybe feeling you cum inside me. Maybe thinking about Carla. I don’t know.”
Later, Ray took the empty glasses down to the kitchen, while Anne showered. His ears pricked up as he passed by the study door. Quietly, he turned the knob, cracked the door, and listened. His heart just about broke, hearing Noel cry and mumbling Carla’s name. Ray looked up as he heard Anne come down the steps. He met her at the bottom and blocked her way.
“No,” he looked at her, “don’t.”
“But listen to him. Honey,” she begged, “he needs me.”
“No Anne, he needs Carla.”
“But don’t you see? He never got the chance to say goodbye. He never got the closure everyone’s entitled to have. Remember? We went back and told him about her death. We wheeled him to her grave. He couldn’t even kneel and say a pray. He went from being happy with a wife and their first baby on the way, to looking at a piece of ground and a marble headstone.”
Ray put his hands on her shoulders. “And just how are you helping him by pretending to be Carla? What does that do?”
Anne’s eyes filled with tears. “I just want to give him peace. We’re the only family he has and I just want to give him that.”
“Come upstairs, Anne. I need you, too.”
Back in bed, they lay in each other’s arms. Ray broke the silence. “What are you thinking?”
“You know, before we had the girls, if anything had ever happened to you, I would have gone insane. After they were born, I knew if anything happened to you, I would survive, because I had a part of you. Noel has nothing.”
“What are you saying, Anne?”
“I wish Noel at least had their baby.”
“And?” asked Ray.
“No, it’s insane. Forget I said anything.”
“Honey, talk to me. You know we can say anything to each other. What are you thinking?” Ray wanted to know.
“This is going to sound stupid. It goes back to something Carla and I had discussed once. If, for any reason, one of us couldn’t have a baby, we decided the other would do it for her. Just like giving up a kidney or bone marrow. We knew we would always help the other, no matter what.”
Ray sat up, dumbfounded. “What? Anne, what the hell are you talking about?”
Anne sat up, too. “Look, you asked me and I told you.”
“You want to have Noel’s baby?”
“No, I want to have Carla and Noel’s baby. I knew you wouldn’t understand.”
“Anne, what’s there to understand? You want to have another man’s baby!”
“Ray, listen to me – I want to be the incubator. The baby wouldn’t be mine, but my sister’s. We were identical twins. Our DNA would have to be almost exactly the same. This would be the baby they lost.”
Ray shut his mouth and lay down, staring into the darkness. In his mind, the idea screamed insanity, and yet, also made perfect sense. Noel was as close to him as his own brother, and he did want him to get through this. He heard sniffles coming from Anne, and he rolled over to spoon with her.
“Baby, I love you,” he whispered in her ear.
Anne moved back, closer to her husband, as his arms wrapped around her waist.
“And I think I understand,” he said. “It’s late now, but let’s talk about this tomorrow, when we’ve each had time to think, and to sleep.”
When Ray got home from work the next night, he found Noel and the twins frosting Christmas cookies, while Anne finished making dinner. There were jimmies and sprinkles everywhere, including Noel’s hair. It was clear the girls adored him and he would have been a great dad. It was also clear to Ray, just how looking at Anne affected Noel. They were fast – but there were looks of love, of tenderness, that you have for your partner. My God, thought Ray, he does see Carla when he looks at Anne. Ray remembered the days when he, too, could look at Anne and Carla, and not really be sure who was whom.
As the evening went on, Ray became more aware of Noel’s interaction with the girls, and with Anne. He also caught the look of loss when Anne took the girls away for a bath. Ray’s mind was running in circles.
“You have quite a family,” Noel told Anne and Ray, after the girls had gone to bed.
“You’ll have one too, someday,” Ray said quietly, “when you’re ready.”
Noel sighed, “I know you should never say never, but my life is over. Carla was the only woman I’ll ever want. Sometimes I think I’d give anything to have just one more moment with her. Do you get it? First, she was here, and then she was gone. I never got a chance to tell her I loved her. I never got a chance to say goodbye.”
Anne went to him on the sofa, and took him in her arms. His body rested against her, like a tired, old man, and he pulled her close.
“She knows, sweetie,” she whispered. “She knows.”
Ray watched Anne comfort his brother-in-law. He knew what had to be done. But, how do you tell somebody something like this?
Noel went to bed, leaving Ray and Anne sitting in the glow of the Christmas tree, Bing Crosby softly singing in the background. Ray stroked Anne’s hair as she leaned back against his chest.
“I get it,” was all he said.
“Hmm? You get what?” she asked quietly.
“I get what you said about Noel. I get his need to say goodbye to Carla. I get why you thought about having a baby for him.”
Anne turned in his arms. “You do?”
Ray kissed her deeply. “You’re my wife and I love you. I always will. But, you’re Carla’s twin, a bond no one can break. I’ll support you in whatever you want to do.”
“Oh Ray, I love you! I don’t know how this will happen, or even if Noel will allow me to do this, but just knowing you’ll support me means more than I can say.”
They cuddled, talked about options, kissed and also sat in silence, for another hour.
While Anne turned off the lights on the tree, Ray stopped at the study door. He could hear Noel crying in this sleep, again. When Anne came out of the living room, Ray motioned for her to join him. He opened the door and stepped inside. He nodded at Anne and she went to Noel, laid her hand on his head and quietly told him it would be okay. He calmed for a minute, then reached for her hand and pulled her into the bed.
Ray watched Noel cuddle with his wife, kissing the top of her head and begging her not to leave him. Yes, he thought, he needs to be able to say goodbye. He turned and quietly went upstairs to bed. Sometime in the middle of the night, Anne slipped into bed and curled up next to Ray. His arm went around her and they slept.
The holiday plans continued and the girls were beginning to bounce off the walls. Anne and Ray decided they needed a break and took them to spend the night at Ray’s parent’s house. Anne thought she would make the night special. She set the dining room for three and lit candles all around. She dressed in a slinky red sheath that hugged her curves. When the two men saw how she looked, they each let out a low whistle of appreciation, then left to dress for dinner.
The wind flowed and the three laughed and truly had a good time. Later, instead of coffee in the living room, Ray poured brandy and they all settled down onto the sofa. In Anne’s mind, the evening was the perfect prelude.
She took a deep breath and said, “Noel, can I ask you a question?”
“Of course Anne, anything.”
“Do you remember your dreams?”
“Hmmm, I don’t think so. I mean sometimes I wake up and I feel really down. Other times, it’s almost like a weight has been lifted. I almost feel better. Why?”
“Well, late at night we can hear you crying in your sleep. I was worried so I came in and tried to comfort you. Sometimes, if I touch your head, you calm down and go back to sleep.” Anne paused briefly. “Other times, you…you pull me into bed with you. You talk to me like I’m Carla.”
Anne moved closer to him and put her hands on his. “Shhhh, it’s okay. I know you think of her when you look at me. That’s normal. We just want to help you.”
Ray joined the conversation. “Noel, we can’t begin to know what you’re feeling, but we do know there’s an important part of her death that you’re missing. You never said goodbye. You know, when you were holding Anne, you were talking to Carla. You’d tell her to never leave you. Anne told me one time, you said that you missed your baby. Geez man, we want to help you.”
Noel was crying now. Frustration seemed to burst forth. “I have nothing!”
Anne grabbed his arms. “You have us.”
“No! I have nothing! Nothing of my own.”
Anne held Noel as he continued to cry. A flood of emotions that needed to be set free – were. Anne held him to her breast, while Ray sat behind her, holding the two of them. When Noel finally calmed, he still stayed in Anne’s arms. She spoke to him quietly.
“I want you to listen to me, Noel. I want to help you, but what I have in mind is pretty far-fetched. Please, will you hear me out?”
Noel sat back and looked into Anne’s soft brown eyes. He was looking at Carla, but Anne was talking. She recounted the conversations she and Carla had about life, love and what one sister would do for the other. When she got to the subject of babies and surrogacy, Noel froze. Anne then told Noel her idea.
“I want to have your baby. Not just your baby, Noel, but Carla’s baby. I did some research and while our DNA is not identical, it’s about as close as you can get. Noel, you’d have a part of Carla. You’d have a family.”
Noel’s face showed the shock he felt at Anne’s proposal. How could she think she could replace his baby? How could she even come up with an idea like this?
Ray spoke up, “Noel, Anne and I have talked about this a lot. At first, I thought she was nuts. I mean, how could she think this baby would replace yours? And it won’t – no child could. But she wants to give you this gift. We want to give this to you.”
“Don’t say anything, Noel,” Anne told him. “But please take some time to think about it.”
Noel couldn’t speak – he couldn’t think. He needed space – time – solitude. He struggled to escape the warmth of Anne’s arms, stood and grabbed his crutches. Ray and Anne stayed silent, and watched for a reaction.
“I need time. I hope you understand, “Noel said in a hushed tone.
Anne stood to hug her brother-in-law, but he moved back out of her reach. “No, please let me go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he said as he left the room.
“What do you think?” Anne asked Ray.
“I think he needs time. I think we scared the living hell out of him. He’s shocked at what we proposed. Honey, have you really thought this through? I mean logistically. How are you going to get pregnant?”
No, Anne hadn’t thought about that. More than anything, she wanted this to happen now. No, she had a lot more thinking to do.
That night, like so many others, Noel’s crying brought Anne to his side. The touch of her hand quieted him. When she turned to leave, his hand reached for hers, as it had so many times before.
She was shocked – Noel was awake. “Yes Noel?”
“Can you stay with me? Can we talk? I want to hear more about this idea. Can you tell me about the talks you and Carla used to have?”
Without hesitation, Anne crawled into bed next to Noel. They lay together, not touching, but staying close, whispering. The conversation went from the idea, to Anne recounting everything she could about Carla. Noel told her about the idyllic life he had with his wife. They talked into the wee hours of the morning, until they fell asleep.
Anne woke to something poking against her ass, and hands massaging her breasts. Noel’s hot breath hit her neck as he muttered Carla’s name. She tried to pull away, but Noel’s arms held her tightly, as his hand moved between her legs.
“No,” she barely got out of her mouth.
He was grinding against her, his lips kissing the back of her neck and his fingers moving towards her heat. There was no denying the physical reaction Anne’s body was having. It was surrendering, but her mind forced the thought of her husband to the front.
“Noel!” she said sharply. “Wake up!”
Her words jostled him awake. She squirmed and started to move away from him, but not before he realized his hand was under her nightgown, moving across her bare skin.
“Oh my God, Anne, I’m sorry! Oh, God!” he exclaimed.
Anne righted herself on the far side of the bed and looked at her shaken brother-in-law. “Noel, its okay, nothing happened,” she said noting his hands left her body excited. She crawled out of bed and headed for the door, the house still quiet. “Honestly, its okay, Noel.” She turned and left.
Upstairs, Ray was just waking. Anne rushed over to him, her face still flushed with excitement.
“Hold me,” she begged in a whispered voice, and then told her husband what had happened.
“You’re turned on a little, aren’t you?” Ray asked, and pulled her closer to him. Anne had no choice but to admit that her body responded to Noel’s touch, and yes, it excited her.
“You know, I love you,” she said to Ray, “only you.”
“I know baby, I know. And I’m not upset. God knows I’ve gotten a hard-on at the site of a sexy woman. It just shows you’re a sexual human being, reacting to the normal triggers. Just because you’re in love with me, doesn’t mean you can’t be turned on by someone else.” Ray kissed her passionately and went on saying, “Besides, I think you just figured out a way to get pregnant.”
“What?” Anne was dumb-founded.
“Oh come on – we talked about having to do the turkey baster thing. Cold and clinical, I believe were your words. But if you sleep with him, it won’t be. And as stupid as this sounds, I’ll bet it’ll bring Carla back to him, so he can let her go.”
“Oh, you really have lost your mind, Ray. I couldn’t do that. I love you. I need you. It would feel so strange having someone else’s hands on me. And I know I couldn’t do it, not with you knowing I was fucking another man.”
Ray pulled her over and onto her back. He kissed her and then looked at her, very seriously. “What if I were there with you?”
Anne’s eyes opened wide and her jaw dropped in surprise.
“Just listen. With Noel’s leg, you’re going to have to ride him. What if I was there to get you started. I know exactly what foreplay you love – the best way to get you going. Hun, I’ll make love to you, but you’ll fuck Noel. You’ll give him Carla’s baby.”
Anne was not yet convinced. Ray continued his argument for a natural conception as opposed to artificial insemination. What won out was the one question he asked her to answer. “Shouldn’t a child be conceived with love?”
Anne finally understood what he was saying. With that, he kissed her and told her she was a beautiful, wonderful, generous lover. They agreed to give Noel a gift he would never forget.
Christmas Eve was a whirlwind. Ray’s parents brought the girls home and then proceeded to fill every square inch of space with presents. Anne made a prime rib dinner and everyone sat quiet as Noel read the story of the first Christmas. The girls placed cookies and eggnog on the table, for Santa, and carrots and celery for his reindeer. The activities of Christmas Eve exhausted the twins and they went to sleep immediately, in spite of swearing they would stay awake to listen for Santa.
After Ray’s parents bid everyone a good night, the three adults were left in the first quiet since the kids came home. Ray broke the silence by getting up and popping the cork on a bottle of champagne. He passed bubbling glasses to Anne and Noel, and offered up a toast.
“To my family, and our friends, I wish them a wonderful season. May this be the first of many wonderful holidays together.”
They clicked glasses and sipped the effervescent liquid. Ray moved to kiss Anne. It was a long, lingering kiss. She then turned to Noel and kissed him the same way Ray had kissed her.
“Shhhh let me do this for you. Please.”
Noel looked confused, but Ray stepped in and put his arms around them both. “Noel, we want to give you a baby. Let us do this for you, in honor of your love for Carla. Come on; let’s go to your room.”
Noel allowed himself to be led into the study. He was confused, happy, sad, grieving, joyful, and every other emotion he could feel. He couldn’t believe the sacrifice Carla’s family was going to make for him.
Ray closed the study door. Anne lit candles while he added a log to the fire. The room was lit by flickering light, and the lights from the small Christmas tree.
Noel stood near the sofa while Ray opened it up into his bed. Anne moved to his side and ran her hand up and down his arm.
“You okay with this?” she asked Noel.
“I think so. But Ray’s okay with this?”
“Actually,” Ray informed him, “it was my idea. Just the three of us, creating life.”
Anne reached up and began unbuttoning Noel’s shirt. He let go of his crutches to rest his hands on her hips. Ray came up behind his wife and began kissing the back of her neck. She let go of a soft moan.
She eased Noel’s shirt off his muscular body, and he bent to kiss her soft lips. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she pressed against him. His excitement was evident.
Noel’s mouth moved to her neck, traveling down her throat, as Ray unzipped her dress, and kissed down her back. She trembled at the attentions of two men. They each slid her dress off her body, leaving it in a puddle around her feet. She looked devastatingly beautiful in her strapless black bra and black lace thong. Noel’s eyes took in her body and his cock reacted violently.
Anne reached for his hips and turned him to sit on the bed. When he did, she moved between his legs, standing so that her breasts were level with his eyes. Ray’s hands had come around from behind to massage her voluptuous twin globes. Noel saw her nipples straining to escape their lace jail. When Ray unclasped her bra and pulled it from her body, Noel’s mouth caught one of her nipples and he latched on. Her hands began running through his hair, holding him to her, loving the heat on her breasts.
Ray stripped off his shirt and slacks. He pushed his hard spear into her ass, as he held her from behind. His hands went around her waist and slide inside her thong. Anne pushed back against him, while holding Noel tighter to her chest.
When Ray’s fingers slid inside her, he found her pussy wet and ready. He had never seen her this excited, this fast. Pumping his finger in and out of her, he released her scent into the air. Noel smelled her and lost any of the hesitation he had felt earlier; his body wanted her.
Anne pushed Noel to lie down. Ray came to help lift his cast onto the bed and shift him into the middle of the mattress. Without a second thought, Ray helped remove Noel’s slacks after Anne had unzipped them.
She sat to Noel’s side and ran her hand over his cock. A very small wet spot formed on his briefs as she massaged him to full hardness. She hooked her hands inside the waistband and began to tug them down his legs. Ray was there to help her, and also help her slip out of her thong.
Noel’s cock stood tall and proud as he lay on his back. Anne opened his legs and knelt between them. Her warm moist mouth came down on him, engulfing his rod. Noel’s eyes rolled back in his head and he allowed himself to get lost in this pleasure.
Ray bent behind Anne, eyeing her glistening pink pussy. His tongue snaked out and ran the full length of her slit, from ass to clit. She moaned on Noel’s cock, causing vibrations to shoot through him and she gripped his hips tighter.
Rays’ tongue found her woman’s pearl and while he toyed with her, he pushed two fingers inside her tunnel. Her hips moved with his hand and she felt the shock waves starting. Ray sensed her excitement and pushed into her harder, causing her to increase her attentions on Noels’ cock. Noel opened his eyes, feeling her breast brush against his bare thigh, as she prepared him.
Suddenly, Anne released him, rose up and squealed, “Ahhhhhhhh!” Wave after wave of pleasure came crashing over her. Her legs quivered and she dropped down on Noel, panting as Ray pulled his hand from her and kissed her up the length of her back. She trembled, coming down from her high.
Noel stroked her head and saw she appeared more youthful after cumming. The dewy glow was so like Carla.
Ray have picked up his wife and held her tight. “Ready baby?”
Anne looked at the man she loved and nodded. She reached out to stroke Noel,
peering at him through lowered eyes, and smiled. With Rays’ help she steadied herself on the sofa bed, posed over Noel’s erect cock, and then lowered herself.
Noel’s breath caught in his throat when her sweet hot hole enveloped his throbbing cock. Ray’s own cock throbbed when he saw Anne’s body slide over Noel’s. Damn that was erotic, he thought. Damn, she’s one hell of a woman.
When Anne began moving up and down Noel’s cock, the feeling brought back the best memories. He looked at this woman but saw another. He saw Carla. It was Carla who was making love to him. It was Carla who would receive his seed. He had his hand on her hips, helping her to ride him. He closed his eyes and dreamed of his wife.
Anne watched Noel close his eyes and then looked at her husband. She motioned him closer. She lowered her upper body, by resting her hands on either side of Noel’s head. When Ray stood next to her, she smiled and opened her mouth. With pleasure, he fed her his cock.
There wasn’t one thing that Anne didn’t do well in the bedroom. Ray didn’t know which of her holes he would rather fill. But right now, at this moment, there was only one thing he wanted. He felt her tongue all over him, as she sucked him. He felt her trying to draw the juice out of him. It wouldn’t take long. His hands went to her hair and he held her.
Anne had never experienced such pleasure. She loved her husband and enjoyed his taste. She wanted to drink from him. The feeling of Noel’s cock was different from Ray’s. It was a different size, different girth – not better, just different. She began to feel her pussy muscles start to contract.
Noel opened his eyes to see Anne sucking Ray’s cock. It wasn’t but seconds before Ray grunted, “I’m cumming” that Noel watched Anne’s throat as she swallowed his load. Ray’s spurts ceased and he withdrew his softening rod.
Anne looked down at Noel and licked her lips. He thought he would lose it right then and there. She sat up a little straighter, braced herself against his chest. Her fingers played with his nipples, and she started to ride him harder. Oh God, he thought. Carla used to do the same thing to him.
Anne sped up her movements and she once again felt her orgasm take over her body. She slammed down on Noel, hard, as his cock jettisoned its seed into her. His cock throbbed as her pussy milked him. He cried out one name – Carla.
Anne lay exhausted on top of Noel. Ray lifted her off of him, and lay her down on her back. Noel shifted over to make room for her and Ray. Ray crawled in next to her and the two men held her until they all fell asleep.
Anne and Ray had only been in their own bed for about an hour when the girls began to beg to go downstairs. Ray ran down to light the tree, and get Noel into the living room. Anne brought the girls down and they tore into the room. Anne bent to kiss Noel a Merry Christmas, and then went to her husband. Ray swept her into his arms and kissed her. Maybe it was the lights of the tree, maybe it was because it was Christmas, but Ray thought Anne was absolutely glowing.
That Christmas was the first of many holidays they spent together. The most special was Christmas the next year. There was Ray, Anne, Marie and Christine, along with Noel, and his twin sons, Andrew and Carl.