We’ve only been together nine years, but it seems like forever. My life falls neatly into two distinct eras: Before Andrew and the Andrew Years. The eras are so different that I feel like a totally different person.
When I was thirty-four, I was doing what I wanted, working at my chosen career and performing well. I was important to some people, mostly customers who I was assigned to help. But aside from Donnie, I had no friends, no lovers, no personal life at all. I was lonely.
And then Andrew appeared and for the longest time, all I had was personal life. But now things are changing again. In all the time since we were married, we hadn’t been apart for even a day. But business and other things have intruded. A foursome went to New York City the other day, mostly on business. But other things were also planned. It is the other things that have me so upset. Suddenly the Andrew Years seem threatened.
When this whole Jake-Donnie thing came up, I went limp and let Donnie have her head. A woman has to do what a woman has to do, I thought. When all this talk about sharing started, I suppose I was a facilitator. It was so out of left field that I really didn’t give it the consideration it deserved.
For a moment I tried to imagine myself in the role of adulteress and was repulsed by the thought. It was something that would be too dangerous to our marriage, too hurtful to Andrew, and so wrong for me. But for some reason I didn’t extrapolate the same results to Donnie.
If I’m honest with myself, I think I understand my inner motivation. I was first. I was the one who met Andrew, who seduced him, who loved him; first. I suppose I’ve always considered myself to be first wife. It’s selfish and I’m ashamed of myself. But it allowed me to suppose that what Donnie did outside the marriage wouldn’t mean as much.
Andrew’s just can’t say no to us. He will do anything we ask; anything. He sometimes appears to be the same way with the children but it isn’t true. He’s an easy-going person who can be a strict father when necessary.
We’ve known for a very long time that if we ask Andrew for something, he won’t think twice about giving it to us. It sounds like I am blaming Andrew but I’m really blaming ourselves. We sometimes take advantage of him.
But this Donnie-Jake thing places that on a different plane of existence. Andrew should have put his foot down. I should have put my foot down, I know it. I’m as guilty as either of them. Keeping one’s mouth shut is the path of least resistance. But it’s often wrong.
Andrew and Donnie are coming home today. So now I’ll learn how things went. They flew to New York two days ago. Helen and Jake stayed on since they have more meetings to attend. Andrew attended a few of the initial meetings to lend his weight to the event. My Andrew is a celebrity. People get a thrill just from meeting him. He recognizes this and sometimes uses it to our advantage, but it makes him uncomfortable.
I’m like people, I suppose. I’m getting a thrill knowing he will be here today. But I’m so scared. How will we handle this infidelity?
I don’t have any problem with Andrew being with Helen. Is that a double standard? I don’t think so. Andrew went along because that’s what he does with us. We ask and he delivers.
He isn’t unfaithful to us. He’s never unfaithful. If he went to bed with a million women, Andrew would be incapable of being unfaithful to us. He can never really look at another woman. We are his only addiction.
I have this man; this sweet, beautiful, adorable man. The entire world acknowledges that he is the sexiest man on earth, yet all he thinks of is us. He’s so wonderful. If we’ve hurt him I think I’ll die.
Stepping onto a plane in New York and then stepping off of the plane in Savannah is a surreal experience. It’s like changing countries, changing eras.
I like New York. When I was a kid of maybe twenty-two I had my all-time best Italian dinner there at a little place off of 3rd Avenue on 53rd Street. Just shopping at some of the odd stores in the East Village is interesting. Walking around Greenwich Village is a trip.
I’m not trying to belittle New York when I say I was glad to get the fuck out of there. For a while I questioned if we’d make it out. During the cab ride from the hotel to the airport the driver thought he was in the Indy 500 and so did everyone else on the road.
But I had met who I had to meet, done what needed to be done. My wife and I needed to return to our real world for the sake of our sanity. It wasn’t New York, per se, that had me crazy. It was us, what almost happened. Sometimes I’m dumber than a post.
Donnie snuggled against me through the two and a half hour flight. She’s been very loving and affectionate since our little near-disaster of the other night, not that there’s anything wrong with that. In fact, I like it.
We grabbed the car out of long-term parking and made our way home. I love that old plantation that we acquired from Doris Johns. It was a wreck when we she gave it to us, but now it’s a great place to live. It’s become home.
I parked the car in the carport and we carried our luggage into the house. We were met in the kitchen by six happy little eKids, hugging us, kissing us, some of them even talking. They aren’t used to us being away.
Dee Dee was standing behind the kids smiling, but only on the surface. My wives have several levels of smile. This one was painted on the front of her face but didn’t reach her heart.
Donnie and I were still hugging the eKids when Emma disengaged herself, walked over to Deirdre and said, “Don’t worry, Momma, Donnie didn’t fuck Jake.”
I could see the look of relief in Dee Dee’s eyes. But I couldn’t let what Emma had said pass. I said, “Emmy, you aren’t supposed to use that word!”
She said, “But you use it Daddy.” I really hate it when a woman throws the truth in your face.
“That’s not the same thing. I use it only under very special circumstances, in private with your mothers.”
“But what about when you are together with Jake? Both of you say it all the time. And in the car, what about then?”
I hate to get in an argument with Emmy. There’s just no way to win it. And she’s only nine. When she grows up she’s going to be hell.
“Emma, adults know that that’s a word you never say in front of certain people. Can you understand that?”
Emmy hugged me and gave me a peck on the cheek. “Sure, Daddy, from now on I’ll know not to say ‘fuck’ in front of you. It makes you crazy.”
My wives laughed. My kids laughed. I know when I’m licked. “Kids, your mothers and I have to talk business. Would you please take a hike for awhile? Emmy, go jump off a bridge or find someone else to annoy, okay?”
The kids all ran off, except for Emma. She looked at me with those dangerously innocent eyes and said, “Daddy, don’t you like me to annoy you?”
I said, “For the time being, give me a break, will ya?”
Then she left to plan the destruction of the world or whatever else was on her agenda for the day.
I said to my wives, “Let’s go in to the living room and have a palaver.”
As we walked into the room, I noticed that Donnie and Dee Dee were holding hands. They have this ‘twin’ thing going. They are beyond close.
There’s this theory I’m working on. My theory is that maybe the move to the next generation wasn’t such a big evolutionary step after all. Maybe what the eKids have is just an extension of what many normal H. sapiens identical twins already experience.
I’ve seen accounts of studies done on identical twins that were separated at birth. Most of the time each twin didn’t even know that he had a clone running around somewhere. And yet their lives seemed to run on parallel courses.
I saw a story of twin brothers who married women with the same name, had the same number of kids, gave the kids the same names, and did the same job; all the while living hundreds of miles apart and not knowing that somewhere out there was a person just like them. But feeling there was something missing in their lives.
There is more going on there than coincidence. These people are in some way psychically joined.
Donnie and Deirdre are psychically joined too. Whatever seminal fluid I added to the mix was just enough to move the eKids to the next psychic level is all.
That’s my theory. IAM was already breeding for intelligence. Then this twin thing popped up. Through coincidence or fate or whatever, suddenly the psychic energy of the IAM girls started going through the roof because they were all identical twins. It was a combination of two very explainable phenomena that created New Man: breeding for intelligence and the psychic connection of some identical twins. All we did was force a breakthrough; make an incremental step in the right direction. Whatever was going on with twins became extended to everyone in the species; New Man, that is. Momentum was already on our side.
The real question is this: are the eKids the end result or merely a transitional phase? That one keeps me up at night.
The girls sat on one of the sofas but I remained standing. I needed to talk, maybe pace a bit. Sometimes I need movement to help me think.
I said, “Girls, I have a confession to make. Sometimes I can be a self-centered jerk. Sometimes I’m not as erudite as I appear. I do appear erudite, don’t I? Sometimes the things I do or say differ from the things I think or feel.
What I’m saying is: I screwed up. It’s this Jake thing. It was all my fault. Donnie isn’t to blame, I am.”
Donnie looked cross. “Andrew I thought we had been through this already. Will you stop being Mr. Nice Guy and acknowledge that you aren’t responsible for everything that goes wrong in this house? Sometimes other people mess up too, though not often.”
I’m so used to being the target of abuse by every female in the place that these little digs just bounce right off of me. But I had her this time. I know when I’m the culprit. This time it was my fault. I figure if I can accept the blame, in a weird way I’ll be scoring points with my wives. That usually translates into good things, often of a sexual nature. Besides which, the blame does belong to me.
“Donnie, we agreed from the very beginning that we were going to be truthful about our relationship. We all agreed, right? When this Jake thing came up, I was less than truthful about my feelings even to myself. Not only that, I pushed you into it. Isn’t that true?”
She kind of shrugged her shoulders. “I had my eyes wide open. No one pushed me into anything. I’ll admit, whatever fantasies I had about Jake were mostly subliminal. I never had the slightest intention of acting on them. I never wanted to act on them.”
I said, “You see? I think we can agree that this is all Emmy’s fault. She brought the whole thing up in the first place. Want me to go out and beat the crap out of her?”
Deirdre said, “Andrew, Emma told the truth. It was you that made the jump of turning Donnie’s fantasy into reality.”
I agreed. “That’s what I was saying originally before I was so rudely interrupted. I guess I’ve always felt guilty about these IAM twins. I don’t want to be unfaithful to you. I don’t like being unfaithful to you. But still I feel like I’m being unfaithful to you. Does that make sense?
When the Jake thing came up, I thought it was small of me not wanting Donnie to be with Jake when I’ve been with a thousand other women. Besides which, an intellectual appraisal of relationships seems to indicate that love and sex are totally separate issues. Intellectually speaking, sex has nothing to do with love. At least that’s what I’ve been lead to understand. Jealousy has no place in a mature relationship.
But that’s not what it feels like to me. It’s my problem. I know it. Sex and love are aspects of the same thing, at least concerning my relationship with you two. I just can’t keep them separate. I know I’m immature. But I can’t handle sharing you with anyone. I’m sorry I’m so small-minded and selfish.”
Dee Dee was the first to respond. “All of us are old fashioned that way. The IAM thing is separate. It really doesn’t count. You do your job, we do our job, and IAM moves forward successfully. You can’t argue with success.
We don’t look at these IAM women with jealousy. We don’t feel you are cheating on us. Don’t buy into that guilt, Andrew. You shouldn’t.
We don’t mind that every woman who sees you lusts after you either. How couldn’t they? You are so gorgeous. But we have our insecurities. We will have a problem if you start to lust after them. We’ve always had this age thing in the back of our minds, especially Donnie, I think. It worries us. It makes us vulnerable.”
I just didn’t know how to address their concerns about age. I said, “Sweethearts, the only ones who care about our age difference are you. I’m in love with you; not your bodies, though they remain fabulous and wonderful. I’m in love with who you are and I always have been. Damn it, Dee Dee. I feel like we are going over ground that we discussed nine years ago. I don’t care how old you are. I don’t care what you look like. I’m helplessly, hopelessly in love with both of you. Nothing will ever change that. I could never be interested in any other woman.”
Dee Dee said, “But we are all guilty this time. The first rule of our relationship has always been to confront our problems head on. You’re right. You let this one slide, and so did I, and so did Donnie. It was one that could have really done some damage.
You pretend to be a sophisticate but you are really just a small town boy. Andrew, just be honest with us. If you need to say something, say it.
And I’m just as guilty. I should have opened my mouth. I realized too late that this was a big mistake. Apparently Donnie realized it in time, thank goodness. There is plenty of blame to pass around between the three of us. We need to recommit to openness and honesty.”
I said, “Well yeah, I guess. Our marriage has been going down so smoothly that we’ve been out of practice with confronting problems. This whole thing was about insecurity; Donnie’s insecurity about still being attractive and my insecurity about our sexual relationship. Dee Dee, I think you’re going along with this ‘age insecurity’ thing to show solidarity with your sister. In reality you have to be the most secure woman in the world, and I have to tell you that it’s pretty annoying.
Donnie said, “Okay, Andrew, we get the picture. Everyone accepts some blame for my screw-up and I thank you both. I promise to talk things over with both of you before making any stupid decisions in the future. We all agree, so let’s get off of this subject. I feel bad enough as it is.”
I said, “Okay, Donnie, don’t get touchy. There’s more we need to discuss. Ladies, we have some posts to fill. New Man University and the new technology company we’ve been working on are both getting ready to go. I didn’t bring this up before because everything was in the formative stages. But it looks like we are actually going to bring these things off, so now we need some executives.”
Donnie said, “Andrew you should be the lead executive, whatever title you choose. Most of this is based on your initiative.”
I laughed. “Yeah, right. Donnie, I’m sitting in a room with two PhD’s from Duke University. I’m a Bachelor of Arts from Low Life U. We need a university president. We need a corporate Chief Executive Officer. You two fit the bill perfectly.”
Deirdre objected. “Why us and not you? You’ve been the driving force behind this.”
I said, “First, if only for appearances, it will look much better if our university president has a PhD. Second, you two are the businesspersons in our family, not me. I’m along for the ride. It’s your area of expertise. The eKids do the heavy lifting, you two do the organizational stuff, and I lead the cheers. That’s the way it works in our family.”
Donnie said, “Why can’t you be a PhD? I’ll bet that Youngstown State would be eager to offer you an honorary PhD if you agreed to speak at commencement, something like that. You have to be one of their most distinguished alumni.”
I said, “That’s damning with faint praise. I can see the famous alums of YSU being introduced: Ron Parise, Astronaut; Ron Jawarski, nationally known sports commentator; Andrew Adkins, Doctor of Fucking. I don’t think so.”
Dee Dee was laughing. “I love the little side trips you take in your mind, Andrew. They always make me laugh. But I think this discussion of executive selection will have to wait. I’m not feeling up to it now.”
Donnie said, “Neither do I. I don’t feel right either.”
I was concerned. “What’s the matter, are you two getting ill? Are you going to be alright?”
They said in unison, “We need to visit the Fuck Doctor.”
I had to laugh. That’s me: Andrew Adkins, FD. Those two picked up my little word trip about Youngstown State and carried it to the next obvious step. But they didn’t even have to concur verbally. Each knew what the other was going to say. It’s eerie. It’s a twin thing. It doesn’t even surprise me anymore. Glad I’m their husband.
I’ve been with a thousand different women and not one of them has held a candle to either of my wives. Why would I want beans when I’m getting steak at home?
There’s more to it than that. I’ve heard people say that variety is the spice of life and yadda yadda yadda. Translate ‘yadda yadda yadda’ to mean: after a while in any relationship the sex can only be routine, the excitement of the early days fades away. Things become perfunctory, repetitive, boring. My only response is: bullshit!
It’s their skin, I think. My original chemical attractor theorem remains intact and apparently irrefutable. When I touch them every emotion I’ve ever had for them rushes back. Every time feels like the first time. I’ll never tire of them if we live to be a hundred.
My life is good.
Although Dee Dee finds this ‘sexiest women’ thing vastly amusing, I find it thrilling. She laughs equally hard about Andrew’s inclusion on the sexiest male list. It tickles her to think that stodgy old married people like us could be so misconstrued by the general public.
But it makes me feel young. It makes me feel sexy. After all, isn’t People Magazine the official arbiter of what is young and sexy in America? At least that is what one is lead to believe. I want to believe it but sometimes I can’t.
My insecurities about not being young and sexy undoubtedly lead me to this near disaster with poor Jake. I don’t know what I can do to make it up to him. But I do know that I’ll try to make it up to Andrew.
Andrew is claiming responsibility for the whole thing. That is so like him. He has this exalted view of himself sometimes, like everything that happens in this family is his doing. He is trying to absolve me of all responsibility for my planned infidelity. If I had gone through with it would he still have been so gracious? Probably; but he’d still be hurting.
Ever since it happened I’ve been especially affectionate to him. It’s my guilt I suppose. I’m sure he is just playing along, waiting for me to return to my normal self.
Usually I like to kid him, poke fun at his strange ways, his verbosity, his childish theories and flights of fancy. He is such an easy target. What would America think if they knew the very odd person behind that beautiful face? I don’t know if I could be happy with a ‘normal’ person.
I’m not so sure that right now I want sex from the ‘fuck doctor’ (that’s going to be our private name for him for a long time to come, I can tell). What I want is skin-to-skin contact. It’s as if I need to be reassured of Andrew’s love by the act of touching. I’m so afraid that I had driven a wedge between us.
We went up to our bedroom and each of us disrobed, Andrew assisting both of us as much as we would let him. He loves to touch us.
We all lay down on the bed, with Andrew in the middle, with Dee Dee and I snuggled up on each side of him. Andrew was sandwiched between the two of us.
He said, “This is the life: surrounded by two hundred and twenty pounds of fabulous female flesh.”
Deirdre said, “Two hundred and twenty-one pounds.”
I said, “Two hundred and twenty-two pounds.”
Andrew looked shocked. “You’re both getting fat! To be honest, I didn’t notice the extra pounds anywhere. I can assure you they didn’t go to your tits.”
I elbowed him in the ribs, but we were all so comfortable that we hardly felt like kidding about the fluctuation in our weight.
He held us tighter till we felt like one continuous person. We get so close and comfortable this way. Dee Dee and I have some kind of connection that seems to defy logic. Each seems to know what the other is thinking sometimes. Maybe it’s just that we are so alike that we end up thinking the same things. But when we get close like this it almost feels like there is a continuous mental-emotional connection linking all three of us.
I wasn’t really overcome by passion, but still I wanted Andrew inside me. I looked over at Deirdre. “Dee Dee, would you mind if I climbed on for a few minutes. I need to feel closer.”
She smiled. “Go ahead. I’m comfortable just as we are.”
I took hold of Andrew at his most sensitive spot and impaled myself upon his beautiful cock. We were still a three-person sandwich, but now I was on top. I lay there, just relishing the feel of the three of us together, the feel of Andrew so deeply inside of me, of his arm pulling me even tighter. I could die in those arms.
My cheek was on Andrew’s chest as I looked into Dee Dee’s eyes. She had the contented happy smile she so often wears. Dee Dee must be the most secure and happy person on earth. She radiates such nurturing warmth. No wonder Andrew and I love her so.
I was there innocently riding Andrew, just making the slightest of motions to keep up the contact between his manhood and my womanhood, when it hit me. There was no build up that I was consciously aware of. I was suddenly so very aroused. I began wildly humping, moving ever more rapidly up and down his shaft. I let out a loud moan and I was having a massive shuddering climax, my pussy convulsing around his member. My eyes closed in ecstasy as I let the feelings of fulfilled arousal and romantic lust overwhelm me.
I opened my eyes to find Dee Dee staring at me, still wearing her Mona Lisa-like smile. I could see by her look that she was happy for me. I was happy for me. Andrew loves me. As awful as I am, he loves me. I can feel it in my heart. I can see it in his eyes. We three have a love that transcends all else. I’ll never do anything to threaten that again.
I could feel that Momma Donnie was finished. I don’t usually eaves-drop on my parents (it pisses Daddy off if he thinks we are doing that), but they are so emotional we kids have trouble tuning them out sometimes. Besides, I needed to talk to them and I didn’t want to interrupt at an embarrassing time. It wouldn’t be embarrassing for me, but they are so sapien. So I waited till Donnie was finished.
I knocked. I heard Daddy say to come in. My parents were lying in bed, all wrapped in each other. One of my favorite things is to feel their love for one another. I want to help them feel that too.
Sometimes Momma Donnie is afraid of losing Daddy’s love. She doesn’t understand that it can never happen. I want to help her understand that.
All three of them smiled at me when I went into the room. They didn’t mind me being there. And they were interested in why I was there. After all, we kids never interrupt our parents when they are making love. It’s one of our rules.
I said, “Could I talk to you for a minute?”
All three of their heads were sticking out from under the covers. Momma Dee Dee and Momma Donnie were snuggling with Daddy in between. Daddy’s nice to snuggle with. I do it all the time when we are watching movies.
Dee Dee said, “What do you want to talk about, honey?”
I said, “I need to talk to you about something. You had a problem and maybe I started it by opening my mouth. I like to open my mouth.”
Daddy said, “It wasn’t your fault, Emmy. You just told the truth. Maybe sometimes we don’t need to hear all the truth all of the time. But what happened wasn’t your fault, so don’t worry about it.”
He didn’t get my point. “Daddy, I know it wasn’t my fault. I just gave you some information. Then you three went crazy. I think we need to talk about your relationship.”
Donnie said, “What are you talking about? You’re our little girl and we love you. But you have no business interfering in our relationship.”
I said, “I’m sorry, Momma, but I know more about your relationship than you do. I think I can help you understand each other better.”
Daddy intervened. He appreciates my mind more than either of my mothers. They’ve never really understood how smart we are. To them we are their sweet and talented little boys and girls. Daddy knows better.
“If you have something you think will help, Emmy, we’ll listen. But this better be good.”
I said, “Well your problems all started with one of Daddy’s ridiculous theories.”
Both of my mothers laughed. Daddy said, “You’re cutting me to the quick, here. Which theory are we referring to?”
I said, “It’s that silly ‘chemical attractors’ thing. You talk about it so much I think that Donnie and Dee Dee actually believe it. But it’s not only stupid, it’s dangerous.”
Daddy looked hurt. “Stupid? Dangerous? Maybe you better explain yourself.”
I said, “Daddy, you’ve convinced yourself that your relationship is built on some sort of chemical attraction that none of you can fight. Don’t you see that Donnie might think that as she gets older and enters menopause that her body chemistry might change enough to turn off the chemical attraction?”
Daddy looked shocked. I could see tears forming in Momma Donnie’s eyes. Daddy said, “Donnie, you don’t actually believe that, do you?”
She said, “I don’t know. I guess that the thought had crossed my mind. I’m old, Andrew. Menopause is right around the corner. What then?”
I jumped in. “Daddy, your theory sucks.”
He said, “Well, do you have a better one?” rather petulantly for a thirty-four year old man, I thought.
I said, “Actually, I do. Had it occurred to you that it might just be love?”
He frowned. “That isn’t the point, Emmy. We felt like this from the first moment we met. Love doesn’t work that way.”
I said, “Why not? All three of you are special people for Homo sapiens. You must be or you wouldn’t have given birth to New Man. Would you like to know how I think it happened?”
Dee Dee jumped in. “Oh, yes, Emma. I certainly would love to hear this. I’ve always thought that Andrew’s theory was more amusing than factual. I personally never took it that seriously, though apparently Donnie did.”
Daddy looked at Momma Dee Dee with his mouth open. “You don’t buy my ‘chemical attractors’ theory? Why not?”
Dee Dee kissed Daddy on the cheek. “Don’t be hurt, Andrew. That theory gave me an excuse to seduce you, so it served its purpose. But it is just a little silly, don’t you think?”
Daddy turned to me. “Okay then Miss Big Mouth. Let’s hear the official New Man theory.”
“Daddy, it’s more than a theory. Let me explain. First, you and Dee Dee talked on the phone a lot before you met, didn’t you?”
He nodded. “Well, yes. So what?”
“So you started to know each other even before you met. And you both liked each other. You liked each other’s minds. You both needed someone who was intelligent and who respected your intelligence as well.
The important factor that you haven’t considered is empathy. The things that separate New Man from Homo sapiens are intelligence and empathy. The telepathy part is a subset of empathy, I think. But all three of you are in the upper one percentile of H. sapiens for both intelligence and empathy. That’s unusual.
Dee Dee and Donnie have the empathy that many identical twins have, multiplied by the fact that they are fourth generation identical twins. Each generation was more empathic than the previous one. It has reached the point that you are almost telempathic with each other. You must have noticed.”
Momma Dee Dee and Momma Donnie looked at each other. They shared an embarrassed smile. I knew what they were thinking. I can read their thoughts, after all. They did notice. Most of their shared empathy was during sex. That is when their emotions are at their peak. I thought I better not bring that fact up. They like to pretend that their sex lives are private.
I continued. “And Daddy, you are just a naturally empathic person. Call it pure chance, but you are even more empathic than Dee Dee and Donnie. After all, you felt us girls in Momma’s womb, and our Mommas didn’t
That brings us back to when Daddy and Dee Dee first met. You already liked each other’s minds. Dee Dee especially liked that Daddy respected her for her brain. And then when you met, well, you both were physically attracted to each other. You are both very attractive for H. sapiens. So you liked each other’s minds and found each other very physically attractive. And Daddy, you thought Dee Dee had a sexy voice. You were half-way in love with her before you met.
What happened was, when you touched, (you did shake hands, right?), the empathy factor kicked in. You felt each other’s natural attraction and your high empathy caused a bridge. You got caught in an empathic feedback loop that built upon itself. Each person’s attraction for the other fed upon itself and just kept getting greater. You were madly in love before you even realized it. That’s what happened. It had nothing to do with chemistry and everything to do with love. You love each other because of who you are, not because of some imagined body chemistry.”
Donnie said, “But what about me? How could the same thing have happened twice if it wasn’t chemical?”
I said, “You were both totally ready for each other when you met. Momma, you were prepared to love Daddy even before you met him. And Daddy was fooled when you first met into thinking you were Dee Dee. So when you touched (you did touch, didn’t you?)” - I could see by their guilty looks that they touched about as much as two people could possibly touch when they first meet – “you got caught in the same empathic feedback loop that Daddy and Dee Dee fell into. When Daddy found out you weren’t Dee Dee, and he must have suspected something because he could subconsciously sense a difference in your empathy, he found he was in love with you too.”
Momma Dee Dee said, “I like this theory. This is a good theory. Sorry, Andrew, but until something better comes along, I’m buying Emma’s theory over yours.”
I said, “Uh, Momma, I’m not done.”
Daddy said, “There’s more? I thought you covered all of the bases. If my wives like your theory better than mine, then fine. I’m going to withhold judgment for a while until I know more.”
Donnie hit him. “Andrew, don’t be a spoil sport. This theory works for me. It means we love each other forever. Even if we can’t prove it, it’s a lovely theory.”
“Daddy I have some bad news for you.”
He said, “What? What could be worse than attacking one of my finest theories?”
I said, “Well, you know this ‘sexiest man on earth’ thing. It might not be entirely accurate.”
He said, “Now what! You haven’t been ‘adjusting’ the polls have you? I should have realized it.”
“I didn’t adjust the polls, Daddy. I didn’t do anything, this time. It’s just that you are famous for doing a certain thing. People think you are the best in the world at doing that certain thing.”
Momma Dee Dee was amused. I think she finds everything funny. My Momma just loves life. “Go ahead, Emma. Say it. You mean that people think that Daddy is the world’s greatest lover.”
Daddy said, “Okay, where are you going with this?”
“Think, Daddy! Who have you been making love to? You’ve been with a thousand different women, but they are all IAM twins! For them you are the world’s greatest lover. Your empathy touches their empathy and you can feel what they need. You do all the right things for them because you can sense what is right for them. It’s just a natural fit.
But before you met Momma Dee Dee, didn’t you have lovers then? Did they think you were God’s gift to women?”
He said, “Hey, my sex life before I was married is none of your business. Come to think of it, my sex life after I was married is none of your business either. Okay, I’ll admit it. Sex was always pleasant but not spectacular. Sex only became spectacular after I met Dee Dee and Donnie.”
I said, “Aren’t you glad you didn’t go to bed with Helen? She would be the first to discover the truth. And she would have won the bet between her and Donnie.”
Donnie said, “How did you know about our bet, you little vixen?”
Daddy was ready to capitulate. “Forget it Donnie. Emmy knows everything about everyone. That’s who she is. One of the things that have gone down the tubes with the advent of New Man is personal privacy. It’s an alien concept to them. Still it’s just a theory. She can’t prove it.”
I said, “But I can prove it. I can make you understand it. I can let you feel it. How would that be?”
Daddy answered. “What are you talking about? How can you let us feel it?”
I asked, “Do you trust me, Daddy? Would you let me tweak you a little bit?”
I could feel his fear. He has this fear of mind control. That’s why he is such a freedom of speech advocate. He doesn’t want people controlling what he thinks or says, ever.
I said, “I promise I won’t be making you think anything or feel anything that you don’t already think or feel. I’ll just open the pathways that are already there a little bit. You three are so close to us kids in empathy. Would you like to feel what we feel? If you don’t like it I can change things back.”
Daddy had his doubts but I could tell that Momma Dee Dee and Momma Donnie were all for it. I could see that they were rubbing his chest under the covers.
Donnie said, “Oh, come on, Andrew. Let’s experiment a little. Maybe it will be fun. If you don’t like it, Emma can take it back, can’t you Emma?”
Daddy sighed. He can never say no to my Mommas. He is such a pushover.
He said, “Okay, Okay! I’ll do it. You better not screw this up Emmy, or I’ll rip your arm off and beat you over the head with it.” He is so funny sometimes.
I closed my eyes and just felt them. I followed their pathways. I knew what I was doing. I’ve been this way many times, just to see if I could do it. I just never made the adjustments before. I was telling the truth. They are so empathic already, especially for H. sapiens, that the change was a minor one.
I opened my eyes and my parents were looking at me lovingly. They knew! I felt it. I climbed on the bed and crawled on top of Daddy’s chest. I hugged him. I couldn’t help it, I began to cry. Daddy finally knows how much I love him.