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Is there something on my face?
While tending to her housework, a woman asks her husband

"Will you please fix the cabinet in the kitchen? It's been barely holding on to it's hinges for weeks now."

He replies "Does it say 'carpenter' on my forehead?"

Surprised, she lets it go and returns to her housework. As she begins to clean the bathroom, she notices that the lever is getting stuck. She yells from the bathroom,

"Honey, the toilet's lever is stuck again! Can you fix it?"

She comes into the living room to find him reading the paper. He responds to the puzzled look on her face with...

"Do I have "plumber" written on my forehead?"

The next day, her husband comes home from work to find the Cabinet fixed, the toilet fixed, and a chipper spouse making the bed in the master bedroom.

"Who fixed everything?"

"A kind young gentleman came by today, said he was a handyman and asked if I needed anything done around the house. When he finished, he said I couldn't pay him with cash because I don't keep it around the house. He mentioned that was fine and that I could pay him by sucking his dick or cooking him a good meal."

"What did you cook for him?"

"Does it say "chef" of my forehead?"

skuze me.
: )

anonymous readerReport

2012-10-21 22:22:33
Avoid sexual irtsncouree until you help him master his orgasm.use your hand to bring him close to his orgasm, and as soon as you feel him comming ( or get him to tell you) squeeze his penis with your thumb and finger just under the head as tightly as you can, to stop him ejaculating, ( it takes a bit of practice)if that fails do the same at the base of his penis, right at his pubic boneIf you can get him to control it for longer, and you return to actual irtsncouree try not to make any movement, until he gets into a rythymgood luck

anonymous readerReport

2011-05-17 12:49:49
TYVM you've soevld all my problems


2009-07-22 23:17:43
reader from before- who the hell gives a fuck if you're 12??? were u on drugs when u wrote that???


2006-01-07 21:20:27
not that good 2/10


2005-11-12 11:40:26
fuk im horny

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