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I have no idea where the inspiration for this one came from...
I Woke Up With A Fat Chick

I woke up and couldn’t believe my eyes,
When I caught sight of those monster thighs,
Was that a cow that was sucking my dick?
No, I woke up with a very fat chick.

The sight of her got me thinking,
I really should give up drinking,
As if I needed a reason why,
I should also stop getting high.

Looking at this gruesome sight,
I tried to recall what I did last night,
How did I possibly wind up with her?
But my mind was simply in a blur.

Could I have picked her up in a bar?
How did she possibly fit in my car?
I was no longer in the mood,
As I thought of ways to protect my food.

I thought about the weight limit of my bed,
If she rolls over, I’ll be dead,
I tried to think of a good excuse,
For me to turn this cow loose.

Not trying to sound really mean,
But she was the biggest I have seen,
If she had an appetite,
No telling what she would bite.

A girl so big she had her own zip code,
Now here she was in my abode,
No way could I have fun,
With a girl who outweighed me three to one.

Just a warning from me to you,
Be careful what you go and do,
Because if you think you’re seeing double,
You just might be in really big trouble.


Anonymous readerReport

2016-10-08 10:28:48
What meaningful prose! Altogether an exceedingly flow of words to paint a picture cor the reader to almost experience the mood first hand. Tennyson and Wordsworth would have applauded, I'm sure.

Anonymous readerReport

2016-03-27 14:27:38
That was awesome, nice one

Anonymous readerReport

2016-01-15 12:57:55
i love you

anonymous readerReport

2013-09-17 22:56:47
I found this pretty funny lol, but thats a little mean

anonymous readerReport

2013-08-03 22:58:44
go suck yr own dick...if u can fit over yr own GUT!!!!!

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