An 80 year old man was asked by his doctor to provide a sperm sample. The doctor gives him a jar and with a wink says, "I don't expect you to fill it to the top, but I am sure you can still cover the bottom".
3 days later the old man returns to the surgery with the jar still empty. "Why no sample ? I was sure you could do it " said the doctor.
Shaking his head the old man replied, "I am sorry, I tried it with my right hand, then with my left. The wife then had a try doing it with both hands, all to no avail.
The wife decided to ask young Babs from next door if she could help out. Straight away she said, "You need to use your mouth". The wife tried as hard as she could, but it nearly choked her. Babs said "Let me do it, I have good teeth and if I grip it in the right place it should be Yipee".
" Well to be fair to Babs she was at it for a good 10 minutes, but all to no avail, we still couldn't get the fuckin lid off ".