Christ, but how was I supposed to stand it?
It's bad enough when you want someone from afar, and when you see
them from time to time you get this longing in the pit of your stomach. But
when every day you are around someone who makes your stomach do
somersaults, it's enough to tax the sanity if any girl.
Yet there I was, day in, day out, faced with her. Trying so hard to
keep on top of my feelings, but it was becoming a bit of a nightmare.
Time here for a bit of background. I was a first year medical
student in London. I belonged to the 'work hard, play hard' school, which
means lots of essays and even more drunkenness. I did the whole dyke thing,
of course, who wouldn't in London? But I was always the type to never let
my heart have anything to do with what I was doing. A few one night stands,
nothing serious, just having some fun. Gradually working my way though the
lesbian population of Soho.
Until now. Isn't it always the way that you can go for months never
noticing someone, but then once you do, you never seem to stop running into
them? And I'd never fallen this hard before.
There I was, late on a Tuesday night, working away in the medical
library in a desperate attempt to get some such essay done in time for a
deadline. Big pile of textbooks next to me, and myself oblivious to all
around me, which wasn't a great deal anyway, most people had long called it
Suddenly a tap on my shoulder. I swing around, irritated at being
disturbed while my train of thought was working so well. And there she was,
I will never forget what I saw before me. The most beautiful face, with
perfectly proportioned features and a knowing look which, as I was to
discover, never went away. Her hair was a dark blonde, not unlike mine
though longer, with streaks that suggested recent highlights. Her eyes were
blue and very intense, although they readily smiled. Difficult to judge
when I was sitting down, but I thought slightly shorter than me, but with a
fabulous figure. I could see that even though she was well wrapped up - it
was cold out. I stared for a second, taken in by her, then remembered
myself and straightened up.
"Can I help you?" I stammered.
"Yeah," she replied, "It's just that you've got the last copy of
this," as she pointed to a book titled Functional Anatomy or something
similar, "and seeing as you don't seem to be using it I was wondering if I
could borrow it for five minutes."
"Er, sure, do," I said, worried that I was appearing all
flustered. I gave her the book, and she smiled, thanked me, and returned to
her desk. I turned back to my work, exhaled, and wondered what the hell
just happened to me. I tried to get back to my essay after that, but it
wasn't easy, and I kept glancing over my shoulder to look at
her. Fortunately she had her back to me.
Not long afterwards, she came back with the book. Again she took me
by surprise, although I think I did a little better that time. Already,
however, all I wanted to do was throw her down on the table and take her
right there and then. I suspect that may not have gone down too well with
anyone else though.
In the days following that encounter I kept running into her, in
lectures, seminars and the library. She was clearly in my year, and
whenever she was around I found my eyes following her, taking in her
beauty. Never before in my life had I had feelings like this for someone, I
found myself thinking of her when I shouldn't, and in ways that I
shouldn't. Being on the same course it was inevitable that we would have
friends, or friends-of-friends, in common, and I started to make some
enquiries. Within a few weeks I had learnt that her name was Kate, she was
from somewhere up north, single... but straight. Admittedly I had expected
nothing else, but there is always that hope.
I didn't really get to speak with her though. We would nod hello in
the corridors when we passed one another, occasionally stretching to a
'hi', but nothing more. It was driving me crazy, and I found myself
dreaming of her at night. I went out a few times during this time, and even
spent the night with a woman I'd met in a club. Normally, I would have had
a great time, after all, the sex itself was good, but I just wasn't really
bothered. It was then that I realized that I didn't want to have anymore
random one night stands, but that instead I had to have Kate.
So when I wandered into the med school cafe and saw her sitting
by herself I wasn't going to pass up the opportunity. I bought myself a
doughnut and a juice, and walked over to her.
"Anyone sitting here?" I asked.
"Huh?" she said, awaking from whatever daydream had been occupying
her, "Oh, hi. No, go ahead."
"Thanks," I said, and sat down opposite. "So..." I started, and
then realized I had very little to say.
She rescued me. "Have you done the essay for Professor White yet?"
Okay, it wasn't exciting, but it was better than an awkward silence.
"No," I replied, "but he doesn't want it until Monday so I've
plenty of time."
"Monday?" she said, "I thought it was Thursday."
"I hope not," I said, "I can't do it before then. Hang on, how did
you know he was my tutor?"
"I've seen you go in to see him after me sometimes." She
paused. "I'm sorry," she finally said, "it sounds silly, but I have no idea
what your name is."
"Rebecca," I answered.
"I'm Kate," she said. This improved things. I said I knew, she
asked how, I said we had friends in common, and suddenly we seemed to find
common ground. Before I knew it, we were chatting away like a pair of old
friends. Eventually she said she had to go, and I said goodbye, but at last
the ice had been broken.
We had several more canteen meetings like that, and in each one I
felt I got to know her a little better. I was delighted to discover that
her beauty was not her be all and end all of her, and very soon we had what
I would call a real friendship. She knew I was gay, it was common knowledge
as I never tried to hide it, but never showed any inkling of knowing how I
One morning, after a particularly mind numbing lecture I passed her
as we all left the lecture theatre. "That was painful," I said.
"Oh yes," she agreed, "and of course, you just know that'll come up
in the exam."
"I've got an essay to do this afternoon too," I added, "I'm going
to need a drink tonight."
"Let's have one then," she suggested. This took me aback. All our
encounters had been in the safe environment of the canteen or the med
school, now she wanted a drink? But my brain worked quickly, this was too
good to pass up.
"I'm too knackered to go out," I said, "I've got a bottle of wine
in my room, why don't you come by tonight and help me drink it."
"Sure," she said, smiled, and went on her way.
Well, any thoughts of getting the essay done went to pieces then. I
spent the entire afternoon in a state, desperately trying to make my room
presentable while at the same time deciding what to wear. I wanted to look
good without appearing to have gone to any special trouble. In the back of
my mind I knew it was silly, the girl was straight for heaven's sake, but I
still wanted to make a good impression. In the end I opted for a tight
sleeveless top and my favourite (if far too big for me) jeans - I'm sure I
could have done better, but I figured I'd make a better impression if I was
Afternoon turned to evening, and my pulse started to race with
nerves. Still no sign of her. I threw on the TV, tried to read a magazine,
I couldn't settle. Finally, a knock on the door. "It's open," I called.
The door opened and Kate walked in, looking stunning as usual. I
greeted her, trying not to let my nerves show, and poured two glasses from
the bottle of red I had standing on my desk. We got chatting, as usual, and
soon my nerves had all but gone away. The TV was still on in the
background, there was some American drama on, but I wasn't paying it any
One of the women on the show caught my eye though (hey, I could
still appreciate an attractive woman even if I was only focused on one) and
I voiced my opinion of her. Nothing unusual there. But Kate's reaction
completely threw me.
"I couldn't agree more," she said.
I looked at her. "What?" I spluttered.
"I said I agree with you," she said.
There was a pause. "Are you trying to tell me something?" I asked.
"Oh, come on," she said, "like you hadn't guessed."
"Guessed what? You're gay?" Oh God, I thought. Composure, where are
Kate lowered her voice. "Yeah, but no-one here knows. I like to
keep it like that."
"Christ," I said, "I thought you were straight. I mean, I had no
idea... it's just... oh dear, I'm not helping, am I?"
She half-laughed. "I thought you of all people would be the least
"I'm just... surprised. Are you... with anyone?"
"No." she said. "I was. Back at home, there were one or two. But
not right now."
I thought I would melt. I reached for the bottle of wine and
refilled her glass, then my own. She was sitting on my bed, leaning against
the wall, about a foot away from me. She'd had a good three glasses of wine
by now, and I got up to get another bottle that I started to uncork.
"That's one of the reasons I came here tonight," she continued as I
peeled away the foil, "It gets to the point where I need to tell someone,
I nodded. "One of the reasons?" I asked?
"Well, that and the fact that I get to admire your ass when you
have your back to me like that."
I turned around to face her, suddenly feeling very self-conscious,
while at the same time quietly euphoric. Even so, I knew why she was
uninhibited all of a sudden. "You're pissed," I told her.
"Probably," she said, "now come and sit back down."
I left the bottle to stand and sat myself down again next to
her. As I leant back, she repositioned herself so that she was ever so
slightly leaning over me. Before I could say anything her she took my face
in her hands and her lips met mine in the most tentative of kisses. I
pulled back slightly, taken completely aback, but she looked me in the eyes
and I knew then that she meant it. The quiet euphoria I had been feeling
turned into total and utter delight and I kissed her again. Her lips were
so soft; I could have kissed them forever. Opening my mouth slightly, I
probed her lips with my tongue and was rewarded with her tongue making its
way into my mouth. The passion between us began to grow as our tongues
began a dance so sweet, exploring one another with the wonder only found in
a first kiss.
I don't know how long that kiss lasted, we were lost in the moment,
but after some time I pulled away and began to kiss her neck. Kate
obligingly threw her head back, giving me access to all of her neck, and I
hungrily ran my tongue over it, tracing the line of her
windpipe. Simultaneously I undid the top button of her shirt, then stopped,
for fear of appearing too forward. No need to worry though, as she placed
her hands on my waistline and started to run them over my stomach under my
untucked top, her fingertips slowly working their way upwards towards my
breasts. Her touch felt like electricity over my skin and I felt my nipples
staring to harden in anticipation. I kissed her again, practically seizing
her lips with my own and plunging my tongue into the moist depths of her
mouth. I resumed my work on the buttons on her shirt, and before long it
was hanging open. Still kissing her deeply, I pushed the shirt back over
her shoulders, and unhooked her bra, pulling back to let it fall away.
Her newly freed breasts were now before me, and so struck was I by
them that I just gazed for a second or two, perhaps longer, I don't
know. She smiled as I looked on; no doubt delighted by the way I was in awe
of her body. Finally I tilted my head and again caressed the side of her
neck with my lips, but this time I worked my way downward. Kate moaned
quietly as I started to play her breasts with my tongue, exploring all of
them, kissing them, licking and occasionally gently nipping her skin. All
the while I was deliberately avoiding her pink nipples, which were standing
to attention so well; she would wait a little for that pleasure. Instead my
head went down between her breasts and I began to pay the same attention to
her firmly toned stomach. She was beneath me now, and I could tell by the
sounds she made that she was highly frustrated by my passing over her
nipples. At last I took pity on her and took her left nipple into my mouth
with the gentlest of suctions. However, she was still thrusting her breast
at me, so I sucked harder, deeper, I could almost feel her nipple grow in
my mouth as she let out a more satisfied groan.
I began to run my fingertips along her thigh, rucking up her skirt
in the process and causing her to part her legs a little. I could tell from
the aroma that she was wet, and that thought made my own juices start to
flow. I thought about all those fantasies I'd had about her before now,
like the time that I so desperately wanted to make love to her in the
library, and I also thought of all the times in the last few weeks when I'd
been touching myself while my head was filled with images of her. All that
time I'd wanted to have her in my bed like this, and now I did. I turned my
attention to her other nipple, all the while looking her right in the
eyes. The look on her face was one of raw lust, and how badly I wanted to
feel her climax beneath me, screaming out my name - I could hardly wait any
longer. I undid her skirt from behind, then pulled it down, tearing away
her knickers in the process, leaving her naked body sprawled out on my bed.
Not breaking eye contact my mouth started its decent. I started to
kiss the inside of her thighs, every breath filling my lungs with her
musky, womanly scent. I could see now how wet she was, her pussy was
glistening. Covering it was a fine coat of hair, darker than that on her
head - I started to question in my head her credentials as a true
blonde... but now was not the time.
I could contain myself no longer; I had to have her. I ran the tip
of my tongue over her pussy lips so lightly, so that she could only just
feel it, and I felt her body tense up, then relax. I probed a little
deeper, savouring her taste - so familiar yet unique to her at the same
time. Running my tongue up the length of her pussy, I came across her clit,
which was so hard and clearly enlarged. Every time I touched it, she would
moan a little louder, and I remained here for a time, toying with her,
teasing her. After a while, though, I felt the need to go deeper, so I move
my tongue downwards and found her opening. I could tell by the way she was
writhing about that she wanted me to enter her, and who was I to let her
down? I slid my tongue into her pussy, as far as it would go, and licked
her from the inside. She was filling my mouth with her hot juices, and I
found myself not being able to get enough of the taste of her. However I
could sense that she needed more than just my tongue filling her, so I
returned my mouth to her clit and instead slipped first one, then two, then
three fingers inside her.
Well, that did it. She began squirming franticly as my fingers
rhythmically plunged in and out of her. I made a seal around her clit and
started to suck on it, and as I did this I felt her entire body begin to
contract. Clearly she was reaching her orgasm, and she started crying out
"Oh, God, yes, that's it... oh yeeeaaahhhhh, that's sooo
goooooood... ohmigod I'm gonna come... yeeeeeeessssssssss!
YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS! AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!" I continued to work her until the
bucking and the screaming subsided. I looked up and saw that she was
panting hard, and as I did she looked at me and smiled. "That was
amazing. So good. Come here and hold me."
I eased my fingers out of her pussy; they were coated with her
juices, so I licked each of them clean, enjoying every last drop of her
wonderful wetness. Then I raised myself up on my arms and moved up the bed
to join her. When our heads were level she grabbed mine and pulled it to
hers, thrusting her tongue into my mouth. Then she collapsed back onto the
bed as I lay down besides her, and she shuffled into my arms. We remained
like that for a time, and I held her so tight, something I had never really
bothered to do with any of my previous lovers. From time to time I kissed
the top of her head or her forehead, and I felt a deep sense of well being.
After some time, Kate turned to me and kissed me again. "You are so
gorgeous," she said.
"What about you?" I replied, "Do you have any idea how much trouble
you have caused me recently?"
"How so?" she asked.
"Do you remember when you borrowed that book from me in the
"Well, ever since then I've been crazy about you," I went on, "Only
I thought It was useless."
She smiled again. "Really? Wow." She paused. "I thought you weren't
too bad yourself."
I blushed as she nuzzled herself against my neck, then she looked
down at the rest of me.
"This will never do, you know."
"What," I asked, terrified that I had committed some awful faux
"You are still dressed," she said with a wry smile, "and that is
"So what are you gonna do about it then?" I asked.
"This," she replied, turning to kiss me again. Once more I felt
myself drowning in her, as I wrapped my arms around her neck, trying to
pull her closer to me than was possible. As she kissed me from above I felt
her hands venture downward and start to undo my belt. All my senses were
fine tuned as she undid my jeans and pulled them and my underwear down. I
knew I was wet, and for some reason my legs were very willing to open. I
sat up and took my top off, and now I, too, was naked. Kate looked me up
and down, then smiled, and started to run her tongue down my neck, then
onto my breasts. My nipples were so hard, and I gasped when her tongue
passed over one of them.
As she paid attention to my breasts with her mouth, I could feel
her stoking my inner thigh with her fingers, each stroke going a little
higher than the last. Eventually she reached my now soaking pussy, and I
felt all my muscles clench as she ever so lightly started to caress my
"Stop," I said, suddenly, and she looked alarmed, but when she saw
the dirty expression on my face she appeared less worried. I've always been
more of a giver than a taker, and never allowed myself to be taken unless
I've had a good few goes myself first. I reached under my bed and pulled
out a large shoebox, my 'box of tricks' if you will. She immediately picked
up on how my mind was working and appeared delighted. I opened the box, and
took out an ample sized purple dildo (not for me, these 'super realistic'
ones - if I wanted to be involved with actual penises, I'd be straight.)
and a leather harness. I rummaged around a little more and found another
dildo, and then looked back at Kate who wore an expression of glee.
"One thing you have to know about me," I said as I put on the
harness and slid the second dildo into myself, with a gasp, "is that I'm a
very generous person. And I'm not done with you yet."
"I can live with that," said Kate as she gazed at the purple dildo,
which was now in place perpendicular to my body. Then she pushed me back
down onto the bed, so that I was on my back and she was straddling my
I could see that she was going to be in charge here, but as I was
still getting to have my wicked way, I wasn't complaining. Her pussy was
just above me and I could feel her moisture on my stomach. I was so getting
off on the view of this gorgeous woman naked above me, then to my delight
she shuffled back a few inches and lowered herself onto my waiting
shaft. The dildo must have been some eight or nine inches, and the whole
thing disappeared into her. She let out a long moan as it filled her, then
looked down at me. I gave a little thrust and she moaned again, before
raising herself two thirds of the way up again. Then she sank down as
before, and continued this rhythm, all the time getting a little faster and
a little harder. I could sense how close she was getting to orgasm, and I
reached forward and massaged her throbbing clit while she rode me so well,
all the time her moaning becoming louder and louder - I was thankful that
most of my corridor had gone out tonight. Finally she leant back and with
one last thrust I buried the dildo inside her as she came, almost yelling
the place down. There were beads of sweat on her forehead, and her whole
body was stiff as the sounds subsided and she silently screamed.
When she came back down to earth I was grinning up at her as she
panted. She still had the dildo inside her and as I sat up to put my arms
around her she moaned again, ever so softly. "Don't tell me there's more
in the pot," I said, eyes wide. "Why don't you find out?" she replied,
with and expression that said 'take me again' so blatantly. This girl
amazed me - personally I have never been able to come more than once - or
twice very occasionally - in quick succession, yet here she was, obviously
demanding more. Well, who was I to deny her?
"You're incredible," I managed to say between kisses. Keeping
myself inside her, I manouvered the pair of us so that she was beneath
me. I kissed her again, exploring her mouth once more, before raising
myself up on my arms. This must have altered the angle of the dildo inside
her because she squirmed with delight. Then I eased myself out of her a
little, and she looked disappointed, but I reassured her that there was a
reason for this. I lifted one of her thighs and bent down a little so that
I could get her knee over my shoulder, then did the same with the other
leg, before thrusting into her once again. She very nearly came there and
then. "Oh my God," she gasped, "you are so deep inside me, I feel so full I
can't believe it."
I was right up to the hilt in her, and I started to make slow
thrusting motions, and I could see very quickly that she was starting to
lose control. I too was having difficulties, as every time I pushed into
her it affected the dildo that was inside my pussy. She started making more
and more noise as I increased the intensity of my motions, and I realized
that the incoherent sounds were her repeating my name over and over.
I drove into her open pussy so hard now, and again she was coming,
losing control of herself. She was bucking on the bed, and it was hard work
keeping up with her, but I did. Inside my own pussy I could feel the
movement of the second dildo, and while is wasn't enough to make me come,
the pleasure was making me work her even harder, until finally the
collapsed with a sigh and I became dislodged.
Her entire body, and now mine too, was damp with sweat, and as she
lowered her legs I fell into her arms, kissing her as I did so. She was
breathing heavily, and I could tell that she was now well and truly
spent. Her lips met mine lazily, and she wrapped her arms around me. I
buried my face between her neck and her shoulder, and we lay like that for
a while, not saying anything, she enjoying the afterglow.
After a while, Kate spoke. "That was amazing. I've never been taken
like that in my life. Where did you learn to do that?"
"You don't want to know," I replied, not because the answer was
bad, but I just didn't feel that now was the time to go through my sexual
"Well," she said, "whoever it was, I'm grateful to her."
"I'm grateful to you." I murmured.
"I've never... cared before," I said, "before, all I ever had
were meaningless one-offs, apart from a couple of fairly insignificant
relationships. This is different."
"Where do you see us going then," she asked.
I lifted myself up again, and looked her in the eyes. "I really
like you," I said, "and I don't want this to be a one off. I..." I tailed
off, unsure of how to finish the sentence.
"Tell me," she said softly.
I paused. "I can see myself falling in love with you." I was amazed
at myself for thinking it, let alone saying it. This was me, who had spent
her life putting emotional barriers between her and every woman she came
into contact with. I worried that I had said too much, too soon, but Kate
smiled at me and kissed me.
"I can see it too," she said finally.
I think we must have dozed off in each other's arms at that point,
because I remember waking about half an hour later. The light was still on,
and when I looked up at Kate her eyes were opening too.
We lay there for a while, then I felt her hands move down my sides.
"I seem to remember that you haven't had anything yet," she said.
I smiled. "Is that an offer then?"
"I think it might just be."
She kissed me again, lightly at first, but a sudden surge of
passion inside me made me plunge my tongue into her mouth, and she returned
the compliment. Meanwhile, the hands that had been going down my thighs
found the dildo and harness that were still in place. She seemed surprised
to find them still there, but set about unfastening the strap, and pulling
them all away from my body. I moaned slightly when the dildo from inside me
slid out, and then moaned some more when I felt her fingertips start to
caress me. She was just playing with my pussy to start with, introducing
herself to a previously unexplored part if me. Her other hand was kneading
my breasts, while she was continuing to inspect the inside of my mouth with
that hot tongue of hers.
The fingers on my pussy were deftly rubbing between my lips, before
she found my clit. This first contact made me arch my back and gasp, and
she seemed delighted by my reaction. She then knelt up and gathered up the
dildoes a harness and put them on (or in) herself just as I had. I must
have visibly reacted to this because she told me that I would have to wait
a little longer for that, before resuming kissing me, though this time all
over my neck. Her lips started to work down my body once again, only this
time I was in no mood to stop her. After she was satisfied that my breasts
and nipples had had all the attention they deserved she ran her tongue down
over my stomach, tracing every curve. Still she continued downward, and I
was terrified that she would deliberately avoid my dripping pussy just to
frustrate me, so it was a pleasant surprise when she did not. The moment I
felt her tongue touch my clit I was on fire, and found myself grinding my
pussy into her face so hard. I was smearing my wetness all over her, but I
didn't care, and neither, it seemed, did she.
She started to suck on my clit and the sensations had my writhing
about even more, and before long I found myself on the edge of orgasm. Just
as I was about to come, though, Kate pulled away from me. Before I could
protest, however, she ordered me to turn around so that I was on all
fours. I was so frustrated from the timing of her stopping that I was
tempted to sulk, but so desperate to experience what she had in store that
I eagerly complied. Once I was settled I felt the head of the dildo against
the entrance of my pussy, then is was pushed in a little, then all the
way. My arms nearly gave way at that point, but I just about kept my
composure and instead pushed back onto it. Kate was filling me so deeply I
nearly came there and then, and as she began to get a rhythm going she
reached around with one hand and began to rub my clit. I felt her lips on
the back of my neck and my shoulders, and with every thrust I was getting
closer and closer to going over the edge.
Finally, I felt the first spasms of my orgasm radiate out from my
pussy, and I was screaming out as every muscle in my body tense. Every
stroke on my clit was like an electric shock in my body as I ground myself
backwards onto Kate. I kept thinking I couldn't take any more, and then
another wave would crash through me better than the last. Finally my arms
did give way and I fell onto the pillow, panting so hard, but feeling more
incredible than ever before.
After a second or two, I felt Kate's body on top of mine and her
kissing me on the cheek. Weakly, I turned to face her, and put my arms
around her. No words were said, but none needed to be. I was happier than I
could remember being, and everything felt so right. Again we must have
drifted off, because the next thing I remember is being woken by her
kissing my forehead in the morning.
We stayed together until the end of medical school. When we got our
first house jobs, we were so far from one another that the relationship
fizzled out slowly. We went our separate ways, but I never really fell out
of love with her. Some years later, though, I ran into her in my hospital,
and discovered that she had been for an interview for a post, unaware that
I worked there. She got the job, and we were able to rekindle our
relationship. But that's another story...