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Please comment, I would love to improve my writing :)
The landscape was washed white from the soft glow of the full moon as his lithe body moved through the forest in frenzy following a faint trickle of blood that stained the ground, outlining the trail of his prey. All that consumed his mind was the tantalizing blood that dripped down her creamy skin. The chase had ended long ago, but he had let the red-haired vixen run to make his night interesting.
Where she could hide, she had no idea. The adrenaline and rush of emotions filling her body had become her enemies as much as her pursuer by confusing her thoughts, as if the drinks he had been giving her earlier that night hadn’t done enough to haze her mind. Her body trembled like a leaf in a strong wind as she stood in the clearing, wondering where to go, aware that the monster chasing her was steadily gaining ground. Small drops trickled down from the large cut on her exposed breast, her white silk bra being stained by her own blood.
More blood was running down her shredded stomach, her shirt ripped open from hip to rib cage from the slashing of the monster’s sharp nails. His black eyes were imprinted behind her eyelids, distracting her even more from her want to get away from his as fast as possible.
She went to run but found herself in front of the horror she was trying to run away from.
“Hello, my dear,” his musical voice whispered through his smirk, the smirk that now held fangs on display and symbolized fear instead of sexiness. A sliver of moonlight glinted off his fangs as his smile grew: she was afraid and he could smell the blood being pumped through her veins with the extra adrenaline. “Aw,” he cooed mockingly at the sight of her green eyes widening in pure fear and awe, “you wouldn’t want to end the party early would you?”
His long, black tongue rolled across his pink lips as his nimble fingers found their way to her scalp, brushing strands of hair away from her eyes. Goosebmps rose on her skin as the frost of his fingers temporarily chilled her temples, making her shiver from fright and cold. The charcoal black eyes of her predator moved up and down her body to drink in the blood soaked clothing and smooth, long legs that had been adorned with 5 inch hooker heels, and of course, the porcelain-like flesh of her exposed skin.
“Such beautiful skin,” his light voice commented as her fingers fell down across her neck to her side and past her bleeding gut to her hip. He delighted in seeing his treat quivering with fear, the tears fighting behind her eyes, and let a low laugh reverberate from deep within his throat. “Don’t worry my pet, all will be fine dear Jolene.”
With deliberate determination, the handsome monster lifted Jolene’s chin and forced her green eyes to meet his black orbs. Through her tears, through the fear, his dark eyes stared into hers with a relaxed coolness.
Time seemed to slow down for Jolene as his penetrating eyes continued to stare into her eyes- her soul felt as if it were being watched and she felt her muscles release the tension of readying herself to flea. Her heart slowed down and she could feel the bond between them strengthening as her predator stared, almost lovingly, into her eyes. His intensity soaked into the silence and she breathed it in with heightened vigor: she wanted to be close to him and have him handle her however he wished. A small part of her mind screamed and thrashed against the newfound power that had been placed upon her: this was not right, that monster was after her and was about to rip her to shreds! The small, insignificant reasoning was silenced as Jolene’s body swooned for the man in front of her.
“That’s much better,” he soothed her with confidence. Her trance was unbroken as she felt her heart flutter at the sound of his voice, her eyes admiring the strong cheekbones and muscular arms. Jolene raked her eyes over his body hungrily as she imagined what his flesh looked like underneath his satin shirt. She could picture a sculpted set of pecs stacked upon the glory of 8 pack abs surrounded by chiseled obliques.
The first throb of her clitoris rocked her body as her mouth watered with want. Jolene wanted to run and rub her hands over his body from dawn until dusk, and even then she did not want to stop. With so much want running through her veins, her clit throbbed again. The new sensation was much stronger than the last one and had brought out a small amount of juices from within her pussy, beginning to soak her panties.
“Oh,” the monster’s eyebrows raised in peaking interest, the smell of her blood had taken on a new scent, mixing with the same delectable odor from a different, more pungent, source. He looked into her eyes and found a new emotion mixed with her trance: lust. The lust seemed to slowly grow from within her and take control of her wild green eyes. For centuries he had been seducing, chasing, and ruining women for his pleasure, but had never had them sexually. Now, though, seemed like a good time to change that streak.
Jolene looked up with lust completely controlling her eyes at her object of desire. “Oh baby, I know you want me.. Take me! Take me now! Oh please take me!” she pleaded to him as her hands went to grip the front of his shirt. Her short, thin fingers grasped desperately at the fabric, wanting to rip it from his skin and place her mouth on his perfect body. Urges were sent to her wettening tongue to lick him- to outline his form with the tip of her tongue and bathe the rest of his body with her spit as she sucked and bit him. The strong messages being sent to her willing mouth were making her mouth water, her aching cunt dripping juices as much as her mouth.
He smirked at her cry and settled a hand on her slim wrist, the other pulling her hips into his. She could not hide her arousal from being so close to him, electricity firing between their bodies and charging their sexes with passion. Sliding his hand from his hip to the V of her legs, Jolene’s predator could see the pleasure as he rubbed his thumb over her button.
The rest of his palm grinded into her vulva as his thumb circled her blood engorged clit. Her hardened clit sang in joy as her thousands of touch receptors jumped and sent pleasure to her brain. Minutes were spent working on her clit as she began to moan for her lover, more juices seeping out of her love hole into her damp panties and onto his fingers.
Hearing her moans and whimpers as her hips forced his thumb to dig into her clit, her lover brought a finger up and slowly pushed it inside of her wet tunnel. He found that her insides were throbbing just as hard as her clit was, and her walls felt velvety smooth against the flesh of his fingers. A throaty groan fell through his lips before they were planted on Jolene’s bright, red pair.
For the first time in centuries, the monster lover’s mind was clouded with passionate lust: he needed to feel her drench his hand and his stiff manhood with her sweetened juices, he needed to feel the velvet muscle inside her wrapped around his hard cock.
Another finger was shoved up inside of Jolene, much to her joy, and was rewarded with another shuddering scream of extreme pleasure—edging toward the heavenly release of ecstasy. His fingers worked in time with his thumb as their lips tangled and mashed together.
Wanting make him feel her pleasure, Jolene placed her hand on the bulge of his pants, knowing that he was definitely ready to enter her and stay deep inside of her slippery cunt.
His mind went blank with craziness as he felt the womanly hands graze across his erection and lost control of his body—without a thought, he let his fangs lengthen and scrape against her lips in an animalistic bite. The razor sharp points of his teeth seamlessly cut into the thin membrane of her inner mouth and caused blood to fill her mouth, passing into his open one as she gasped in shock. Her blood drove him to stick a third finger into her hole as his free hand gripped at her back, dragging his nails down her spine.
Jolene clenched her thighs as her pussy gripped his fingers, milking them as her girl cum sprayed over his hand and rolled down his wrist. Her scream of ecstasy was mixed with a scream of pain as her back was ripped open by his nails, just as her dress had been ripped by him. As her scream gurgled into silence, he was aware that he had just killed his minx—his inspiration for his long lost emotions.
Heat still seeped from her opened slit and onto his fingers, cooling her juices onto his hand and wrist with the chilling night air. Jolene was dropped to the ground as her last lover brought both his hands to his lips, inhaling the pungent aroma of her oozing blood and drying juices. He needed to taste them—he had to have her flavor on his tongue—so he let the burned black tongue slither out of his mouth and gently lick the fluids off his fingers. From the depths of his stomach, where his throat and intestines combined, came a savoring growl.
The taste of her fluids gave him cause to look down at her lifeless form with lust. He knew that the dead were meant to be left alone other than for blood, but he couldn’t help himself from ravishing her. She had told him to take her, and take her he shall.
A swift movement across his pants released the button holding his hard cock from slapping against his belly, another one tossed his shirt aside to reveal his chiseled body, far better than Jolene had imagined.
From a distance, one would be able to see the silhouette of a man bending down to another, more feminine form. The man landing on his knees as he seemingly pulled off her pants and hiked her legs above his shoulders before driving himself into her awaiting tunnel.

anonymous readerReport

2010-08-18 04:55:15
Your monster is unable to control his own impulses, to such an extent that he cannot keep from accidentally killing his own lover... He is a frustrated looser... Not as smart as he thinks he is...
This is an interesting take on the standard monster theme...
your writing has some subtlety to it ... Keep it going...
Thanks... HAVOC


2010-08-06 15:23:34
A very different take on a monster theme, interesting though, another well written story Dan

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