I woke up the next morning to the sound of the telephone ringing. I was still outside next to the pool and Racheal nowhere to be seen. I got up, quickly put on my clothes and ran for the phone which had been ringing for at least 30 seconds or so. I picked up the phone and said
'' jeff its me dad, Ivery been calling for the last hour but nobody was picking up. Anyways I just want to call and say that we had a car crash, and that we won't be back untill wednesday, tell Racheal that we will pay her extra for the extra days''
I replied with ''what you crashed the rs6''
dad said ''yeah this crazy german guy in a transit van screaming schnella''
''crazy germans, ok see you on wednesday''
I put down the phone and walked to the fridge, I opened it up and just stared at its contents.
''jeff i dont feel too good'' complained Racheal
''yeah you dont look that good either you should go to the doctor or something''
''hhhmm your right' im quickly going to the doctors and once im back we wiil go out to eat some thing'' said Racheal
''ok bye'' as she walked out the door
as i was alone i decided to take a bath and for a change i decided not to have wank.
Asfterwards i started to play some call of duty
about an hour of pwninng noobs i herd the doorbell ring. I shut off the console and whent to the door and it was Racheal.
''come on lets go get something to eat''
while we was in the car i asked '' well what did the doctor say.
He said'' that i have a stomach virus'' and he prescribed me some antibiotics.
''so where do you want to go then''
once we arived i ordered a half a chicken with extra peri peri sause and Racheal ordered a quater chicken and chips
after eating racheal said she wanted to quickly stop at her parents house
there i met her brother and sister who looked kinda hot
i also noticed that the faimily was very clean looking unlike my mom who was always looking like shit.
After a while Racheals brother was walking in the house and i loved how he smelled cause he wore atershave so i told him to come here cause the dryer needed to be fixed or something but i made it up and when he was in the hallway towards the dryer room i elbowed his temple and he slammed againist the wall and fell to the floor and he wouldnt get up
i said yo bob get up it was just a joke but he didnt move
so i went upstairs and found some vanilla cookiies they had been sitting around to think of my plan and then the buttler who worked here came in and i forgot his name because i was so tense and he said dont eat cookies cause it will spoil my dinner so i threw the cookies in his face and ran upstairs
upstairs i found hilarys (her sister] room was opened but i igonred that and when to the bathroom and took a good shit cause the vanilla cookies and stuff. So then i realised oh fuck i left bob downstairs and its been like 10 - 15 minutes
so i quickly got up with shit hanging from my arse, it looked like a tail cause it was the same colour as my skin but if i had eaten fruite pebbles it would have been green and people would of noticed
but anyways i ran downstairs and bob wasnt on the floor anymore
when i whent to find bob i found him in the kitchen with an ice pack on his head and he said jeff why did you do that and i said i triipped and he belived me so i told him to come upstairs after he feels better
as he was walking up the stairs behind me i turned around and backed into him so the shit hanging tail from my arse got on his shirt but i backed up too far and bob fell down the stairs
i turned around and saw that he wasnt moving again
but i expected that he would be in the kitchen again with another ice pack
this time i went into hilarys room but she wasnt there so i tried to go back to the bathroom but it was locked and i said yo open up and hillary was inside so i was like yo its the police and kicked the door open but it didnt move and i really hurt my leg
so i was gonna get revenge for that
and i really needed to pee so lied down on the floor sideways and pulled out my penis till it got a little longer
and stuck it under the door crack and started to pee
and hillary was screaming jeff not again and i started to take a shit too but my butt was facing the other way so it got on the carpet and not in the bathroom
anyways bob came up stairs like i expected and he saw me and sighed and went into his room
so i got up and went to his room and banged open the door and asked him why he sighed and he explained it and then he was in his underwear cause it was really hot that day
so o found a basket ball and said yo catch and threw it at his head and he fell back on his bed and he didnt move
i went to Racheals room and she was wearing a hat backwards so i told her that was right and then hillary finaaly left the bathroom so i went in buy i had no pee or shit anymore so i came out again but i almost slipped on the floor hillary did not clean up after her
anyways i went to her room and she was in a towel and she was taking it off and i was behind her aand she could see me so i kicked her in the spine above her arse
and she fell onto her bed screaming jeff and then i left the room and then came back in pretending i just walked in and said yo whats wrong?
And she said jeff you kicked me in the back and said no and then ran into bobs room got the basketball and brought it back to her room and said yo look i was plaing be ball and she turned around with her towel off to look at the be ball and i said see. Yo catch and i threw it at her face and her nose totally exploded
i walked out of her room and saw that Racheal was in her room listening to music and then the call came from downstairs
dinnah is ready the butler said so i went down stairs ahead of everyone and he served me some big bird
at the table her dad asked hillary what happened to her nose and her mum asked constantine or whatever her name was what he did all day and he said he couldnt remember and before hillary could tell that i had thrown a basketball in her face i ran over the table and whispered to her that id do any favour for her if she didnt tell
so she didnt tell and her dad said jeff what did you say to her and i said a secert
anyways i finished mt meal and her dad saud there are no secerts among family in this house and i siad what about you and bob and laughed and ran upstairs but before i got to the top stair i went yo
anyways everyone was settling down and her dad and mum where in their rooms and everyone was in their rooms
so i whent downstairs to the butlers room and he was watching tv with only his top on
i siad yo whats up and he said just watching tv jeff and i said your cock looks like a raisen but i kicked his tv like a horse and pulled up his shirt and bit his stomach really hard till blood came out and he screamed and i left
i ran upstairs and its getting really late so i get ready to sleep and see that her mum goes to the bathroom so i bust in the room to suprise her dad and i see that his huge body naked onn the bed belly up
so i body slam on top of hi, and he screames jeff and i couldnt find his balls or penis under all his fat so i grab his face with my feet and squeeze really hard
and he siad jeff but it sounded like jjjpppphhhh and then his wife comes in and says jeff what are you doing stop
and i tell her to back off cause he needs to loose some weight and then im pushing her away i rip off he night gown and shes there and has big boobs!
My penis goes boing and i get off her dad and push her towards the open window and she falls out
but she doesnt fall all the way down she is hanging on with her hand and sharp nails
so then on her fingers i run my penis back and forth
and amagine its making musical sounds and then i think of a really good rap
yo yo i moved to bell air and i cant get yall to hear about it my is jeff and im ill with the skill to rhyme and it aint a crime its so sublime and my child was in the war with the enemy and i siad yo dont sell him to denemy
amd then i left the room with tha rap song still in my head
and isee Racheals room is open and shes on her bed and she is crying so i say yo Racheal whats up
and before she can look up i slap her so hard that the lights in her room turn on and then off and then on again
lol well she aint crying anymore so i left the room and went to hillarys room but she wasnt there so i ran downstairs cause i herd the fridge open and she was ther in a long shirt looking for a night time snack
so i said yo hillary and she said what jeff?
And i said nothing and went fffffffffffff to control my laughter and ran up stairs
i went to check on her dad and her mum was trying to roll out of bed and her mum was still holding on so i said yo let me help but when i tried to get my hands under him he rolled towards me and i herd some crakcing noises
and then i felt it and i screamed so big that my mouth felt loke was going to tear
i pulled out my broken hands limp and alreay started to swell and i couldnt feel anything so i ran to bobs room to tell him what happened
he said he read a book on reiki healing and he snapped my hands back into place and to test my hands i slapped him
there were back!
Then hillary came in and said i want to talk about that favor you promised
and went back to her room
and she took off her top and said jeff i want you top stop being a menice
and i said thats one thing i cant do and i jumped up and kicked her in the neck and fell on my hip
she was gasping for air and i dragged myself to bob to fix my hip
he fixed my hip and to test it i did a hoola dance and then ran into Racheals room
i saw that she was doing homework on her desk or writing something
so i sent to her bed and shat on it
and sneaked out of her room
hillary ran out of her room naked and said im telling dad and i said go ahead and tell the fat fuck and anyway i went in behind her and her dad had gotten up and was helping her mum get back into her room then i noticed that nobody in the room wasnt wearing any clothes so i said oi fucked put on some clothes.
Then i remembered that the butler was still downstairs
so i went down stairs
he was bandging his stomach bite wound so i kept slapping his hand so he couldnt finish and then i took one of the shards from the smashed tv that i horse kicked and siad yo bro watch out theres an any on your face and i threw the shard at his face and i regretted that i said ant and not spider to i took the shard from his face and said yo there is a spider on your face not a ant and its crawling on to your nose and then i threw the shard again at his face
then i herd some comotion upstairs to i pulled out the shard sideways and i ran upstairs i dropped the shard on the stairs and when to Racheals room where she was getting undressed to get in her sleep clothes and she had a little body so i picked her up by the weihst and threw her across the room and towards the wall but it was too high and she hit the room light at the roof and shattered it
i ran to hillarys rooma dn she saw she wasnt there and then i went to bob and saod its time for family meeting so i got him up and took him to her dads room with everyone i put themin the room
and said one final touch and ran to hillarys room got the basketball and brought it back and thew it really hard and it hit her dads face and he fell over on bobs leg and crushed it and her dads nose was bleeding and i belt over her mum and she farted in my eye so i judo chopped her anus but i didnt do anything so i kicked her in between the butt cheeks and she screamed and fell forward
and slammed her head on the night stand table that held the lamp and then i picked up the lamp and turned the light off and pulled outt the cord and set it back on the table because the room light was on and why waste the electricity
then i yawned and when to my room and whent to sleep