If you're not careful, your mind can play tricks on you...even when you're wide awake
If you’re not careful, your mind can play tricks on you…even when you’re wide awake. This is becoming more and more apparent to me with my increasing age. I may be only 18, but I am old enough to know when I’m being mentally screwed with.
I am still very young, and I have yet to figure out the complexities of the mind or why the body wants what it wants. And at this particular point and time, my body wanted my US History teacher. It was the one thing I couldn’t stop myself from wanting, even though I could never have it.
In the beginning, I didn’t want him. I had never really looked twice at my teacher. I thought he was funny, smart, and a bit goofy, to be honest. But he was also married and had 3 kids, and I didn’t pay him too much attention. It wasn’t until halfway through the school year that I started to really focus my interests on him. It was in the month of January this year. I will never forget that day. He called me up to his desk to run an errand for him. I got up and strolled over to his desk to get the hall pass and directions from him, but when I got to the desk I hesitated. He had the sexiest pair of green eyes I had ever seen. Just seeing them made my stomach churn, my palms get sweaty, my nipples get hard, and I even had a little condensation between my legs. When he gave me the hall pass, his hand brushed mine and a small moan escaped my lips. It was too low for him to hear but I was worried that he had heard it anyway. I ran out of the classroom before my reaction to him could get any more intense.
When I got back to the class, he said thank you and flashed me a wide, crooked smile. Again, my nipples hardened and my knees felt shaky. I sat down for fear of falling, and he got up to teach. It was then that I began to check him out. He was maybe 5 inches taller than me; he had those sexy green eyes, a head full of gray hair, very big muscles, a few visible tattoos (one on his forearm and one on his bicep; he showed us the rest of them later), and a very charming personality. I felt kind of embarrassed that I had worn a skirt that day. My legs refused to stay closed and there was nothing I could do to calm down. I was writhing in my seat the entire class.
After many failed attempts at crossing my legs to keep them closed, the class was over. I flashed a glance in his direction before I left, and he was staring right at me. His smile widened when he saw me look and the wetness between my legs increased even more. I thought I might explode. I got out of the class as fast as possible. I went home with the thought of him still on my mind, only getting hornier and more out of control with every passing minute. I reached home and no one was there, which was how I wanted it. I ,of course, had no toys of my own so I went into my mom’s room, grabbed one of hers, went to my room, lifted my skirt, and began to masturbate. While I did this, his face filled my mind and it seemed like I would never be satisfied until it was him inside me. I imagined him touching me, caressing my body, kissing me, making love to me. I wanted him more than I ever wanted any man before. I forced the toy deeper inside me as my imagination ran wild. Faster and faster, I fucked my self. The harder and faster I went, the more I wanted him. I finally cried out with my orgasm, but I didn’t stop until I imagined him cumming deep inside me. It was final: I wanted to fuck my teacher. But I knew I couldn’t do it and it made me want him more.
The routine continued that way for quite some time. I would sit through every class writhing in my seat, wanting more from my teacher than I could ever get. Then I would go home and masturbate until I imagined him cumming inside me. It was a never-ending cycle. The bad part about it was that I could’ve sworn that he would smile at me whenever I couldn’t sit still in my desk for more that 5 minutes at a time. I thought I saw him get an erection whenever I couldn’t get my legs to stay closed or when I stared at him. I even thought I saw him look at my nipples get hard whenever I was near him. And, other times, it was like he didn’t even see me. It was like he never looked my way, never smiled at me, and never got an erection at all. I was going crazy every day trying to figure out what was real and what wasn’t. To this day, only a few months later, I still am clueless. This is why I say the mind can play tricks on you if you’re not careful. It almost drove my insane.
Being only 18, as i said before, my body is still a mystery to me. I mean I know what turns me on and I know what I want most of the time. This is one thing I will never figure out. Its as if I was meant to be stuck with constant thoughts of this man. The school year is over and I dno't see him anymore, but i still masturbate at the thought of his face and all i went through in that classroom. I use anything i can get my hands on to try and satisfy the hunger and desperation i have to fuck my teacher. It still drives me crazy and I still want him. I must satisfy myself somehow,someway.......