I had made it through most of my high school years without giving in and having sex. For some reason, although I had pretty much ignored most of the other expectations about myself, I had kept the “keeping myself” lodged in the back of my head.
Let me back up a bit. I had started getting involved in the “dating scene” about the time I got my license. It allowed me to get out of the house, go where I wanted, and see whomever I wanted. My parents didn’t exactly approve of me seeing boys, but what they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them. I started going to parties, and then guys started noticing me (they knew “about” me by certain rumors—all of which were false, but they did get me attention). I never allowed guys to get too far, probably because I was scared to death, but also because I was trying to fight the rumors at least a little bit.
I finally broke down at a party about a month into my junior year. I drank way too much, and there was a cute guy that I was left alone with and allowed myself to be taken advantage of. We were in the back room, and he was getting very handsy, and instead of allowing it to go further I went down on him. That’s pretty much how it went for a while. I would go out on a date with a guy, we would make out, and to prevent anything I would suck him off. When I actually started dating someone for a while, it progressed, and the defensive blowjob didn’t really do it. Eventually I gave in, but I didn’t have “sex.” Yes, I know its stupid, but instead of having sex, I gave up the ass. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, and sometimes it was actually nice. I think for the most part I liked the attention, liked the idea of being a woman that a guy desired.
So that’s pretty much how my Junior year went. I dated a few guys, had a few random hook ups, and when the year ended, I was guy free. The summer went by with absolutely no men involved. I mean I partied some, but no hook ups, nothing serious until two weeks before school started. That’s when I met Ben.
Ben was this supper hot guy, sophomore in college (big that he was a college guy) that was smooth in all the ways the high school guys I had been messing around with weren’t. He had a great car, a fake id, and after a few nights, I saw he had a pretty nice dick. I sucked him a few times, and he had fucked my ass one night in the most unromantic way in the back seat of his car (I know… so clich? Then school started. I didn’t see him for a few weeks, and then we had plans to go out on Friday. My parents were out of town, so I said he could stay at my house. We had plans to go to a party and then come back, but when he got to the house, I could tell we weren’t going to make it.
We drank a lot, smoked some pot and before long we were on the couch making out. It wasn’t anything especially crazy now that I look back. I mean, my shirt came off, heavy petting, and eventually I started going down on him. The usual. Where it differed was when I thought he was getting ready to cum, he stopped me, and got on the carpet in front of me. He pushed up my skirt and pulled my panties down, and for the first time in my life a guy went down on me. I remember it was the most amazing thing I had ever experienced in my life. After a few short minutes of terror (did I taste ok? Did I smell?) I relaxed. I remember distinctly him trying to push his tongue inside me after licking my clit for a while, and just reaching down and trying to pull him back up to where the action was. He eventually got the hint and went to town. I mean I came. I came two or three times before he stopped, and I was a bowl of jelly. After he raised up from me he kissed me, and I remember that taste very distinctly. It was very different than I thought, but I was so relaxed I didn’t even move. I remember thinking that I should definitely suck him off after that, but my body just wouldn’t respond. That’s when it happened.
I didn’t notice at first, but he pushed his dick inside me, and by the time I realized it, he was all the way inside me, and I was screaming in pain. I have never felt something so painful in all my life, and contrary to some of the stories on here, the pain did not go away or me get use to it. Either way, it didn’t last long. After about five minutes he came in me, and then pulled out and I remember my vagina was completely numb with pain. I remember I was shocked that it was over so soon, because when we had done anal it has lasted a good thirty minutes, but either way, I wasn’t having him stick around for another go. I slapped him and told him to leave, and I remember sitting on the toilet after trying to stick my fingers inside me to get his cum out. I had never been angrier or more scared in my life, but luckily I didn’t get pregnant.
I didn’t have sex again until after Christmas, and I never saw him again. He called several times, but I didn’t return his calls. Sorry this is so short, but several of you have asked about my first time, so I thought I would share. It was great, not even good, but it was memorable.