“Danny?” Chris called to her husband as she came through the front door. She practically fell over the two pieces of luggage sitting just inside the entrance.
Danny rounded the corner from the kitchen, his arms laden with jackets. A huge grin crossed his face when he saw his wife standing there, looking confused and a little bit miffed.
“What did you do?” she asked, planting her hands on her hips for emphasis.
“What do you mean?” Danny asked, knowing full well what she was talking about.
“Connors called me into his office at three this afternoon, and told me to have a nice weekend and he would see me on Tuesday. I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. Do you want to come clean?” Chris demanded.
With no option of drawing out his surprise out any longer, Danny knew it was time to confess. He dropped the jackets and plunked his arms around Chris’ shoulders and did his best to charm her.
“Look, we’ve been married coming up on ten years. You and I work more than forty hours a week, and probably each spend another twenty hours running the kids to practices, dance, games, and friends' houses. I thought it might be nice to surprise you with a long weekend away – just the two of us.”
Danny watched her face for a positive reaction. Right now all he saw were her eyes looking at him suspiciously, and her mouth opening like she wanted to speak, but chose to wait.
“School just got out for the summer, I got your mom to take the kids, I cleared the time off with Connors and I’ve already got us packed. Happy Second Honeymoon!” he said, sounding quite proud.
The logical Chris spoke first, “Danny, we can’t afford this. Besides, it’s the end of June and the weather isn’t supposed to be that great. Where can we go for just a weekend? Surely, not somewhere warm.”
“Hun, I’m not that cheap but I am smart. My mom still has her cabin on Grover’s Pond, and she never goes up before the 4th of July. She called the guy who opens and closes it for her, and asked him to flush out the pipes and turn the electricity on. She also asked him to find someone to clean the place. I haven’t been up there since dad died when I was in college, but Chris, it’s like a piece of heaven there.”
“Camping – like with sleeping bags and cooking on an open fire?” she asked, not looking all that happy.
“Nooooo – it has a full kitchen, a living room with a fireplace, shower, and a big front porch. It’s a short walk to the pond. Trust me – you’ll really like it. Please honey? Trust me,” Danny begged.
“You planned this whole thing?” she moved closer to him and put her arms around his neck. “All by yourself? You are the sweetest guy (kiss), the greatest father (kiss), and the best husband in the whole world.”
With her final words, she leaned the full length of her body against his, and kissed him with her entire being. She really did love this man.
Chris did a quick check of what Danny had packed, noting there was no sleeping attire. She smiled and felt herself getting excited. It had been way too long. She joined him in the garage as he loaded a case of bottled water and the cooler into the back of the SUV.
Traffic was hell leaving the city that Friday night. Chris had wanted to wait until morning, but Danny was anxious to start their trip. It was evident that the trip was going to take longer than the three hours it should have taken, so when they turned down the dirt road, it was already ten-thirty. The sky suddenly lit up and a deep rumble echoed around them. As Danny brought the car to a halt, the heavens opened their faucets and let the rain pour down.
Danny and Chris ran to the porch, visible only because of the lights from the car.
“I’m surprised there aren’t any lights on,” Danny yelled over the sound of the storm.
“Hurry up, Danny. I’m cold and I’m soaked to the skin. There had better be hot water for a shower,” Chris said shivering.
Danny tried flicking the light switch, but nothing happened. He made his way to the kitchen to try the lights there, but still nothing. The only light was the faint glow coming from the car lights.
“Shit! Okay, look – I’ll bring the stuff up out of the car, and the emergency flashlight. I know we’ll find candles, and then we’ll figure something out. Could be the storm took out the electricity,” he said, giving Chris a quick kiss. “Trust me baby, we’re still going to have a great night.”
Chris had her doubts as she watched her husband slide through the mud to the car. There wasn’t enough light for her to get her bearings, so she stuck near the door and waited to help with their supplies.
Danny was drenched when he finished bringing everything up to the porch. His lips were already blue and he was shivering. “I swear the temperature feels like it dropped fifteen degrees.”
“Get out of those clothes and into dry ones. I’ll take the flashlight and see if I can find candles and matches.”
Danny normally would have made a remark about getting naked, but he was too damn cold to think about anything other than wanting to be warm and dry. When he came out of the bathroom, Chris had been able to find about a half dozen candles and had them lit around the room.
“I can start a fire,” Danny told her, as he turned towards the stone fireplace.
“Oh no, Danny, it’s so late and I won’t get any sleep if I know there is a fire going. Let’s just put away what we can and go to bed. We’ll be able to check out more things in the daylight.”
There was no sense in putting food in the refrigerator, because it wasn’t running. Danny pushed the latched metal cooler out onto the porch. When he came in, he found Chris putting sheets on the bed.
She didn’t look too happy as she said, “I don’t know who cleaned this place, but I would have thought the bed would be made. I’m just going to wash up with some cold water and throw on some sweaters.”
Danny stopped her, “Um, sweetie, there’s no water. It runs on an electric pump. No electricity, no running water. You can’t flush either.”
Chris was too tired to get upset. She grabbed a bottle of water and a candle, and went into the bathroom to make do with what she had available. Danny was waiting for her in the bedroom doorway. His wife was dressed in panties, big socks, two sweatshirts and one of his sweaters. He thought she was beautiful. He pulled her close and tenderly kissed her shivering lips.
“I do know a way to warm up,” he whispered. “Do you still trust me?”
Chris giggled and pulled on his bottom lip with her teeth. They inched their way towards the bed, the whole time kissing and caressing each other. They got into bed and moved to the center, trying to get as close as possible. Their kisses continued, their hands began to explore, and their breathing turned to panting as limbs intertwined.
It would have been so perfect, if the cracking sound of splitting wood hadn’t filled the quiet of the night. As the lovers clung to each other, the bed trembled and the left side of it collapsed.
Instead of cries of anger, laughter filled the bedroom. Chris and Danny pulled the mattress and box spring onto the floor and pushed the broken bed frame out of the way. They moved towards each other, once more, and fell soundly asleep.
There was no bright of day, the next morning. The rain continued, but at least they were dry. Breakfast consisted of peanut butter on bread and bottled water.
“Look, I’m going to get dressed and see if I can figure out if the problem is at the main power box,” Danny told Chris. “Do you want me to get the fire going in the fireplace first?”
“I’m not helpless, Danny; I’ll take care of it. I just hope we get power soon. I need hot water and coffee, before I start going through withdrawal.”
While Danny dressed, Chris set the fire. She used old newspaper and kindling, building a teepee with the logs she found sitting on the hearth. She thought she heard scratching at the window and expected to see hail, but it was only rain.
When she put the match to the paper, it caught immediately. What didn’t catch was the wood. It wasn’t quite cured and the room began to fill with smoke. Danny was just coming out from getting dressed and rushed to open the front door. The smoke in the room quickly began to clear as the cold air swept through. Danny promised he’d be right back, and headed off to figure out why they had no electricity.
Chris turned her attention to the fireplace once more and was greeted by two beady black eyes staring at her. Almost before she registered what she saw, the eyes were gone.
No, she thought, I must have been imagining things. Chris adjusted the flu and when she did, a small furry pile dropped out onto the hearth.
“HELP!” she screamed, as the balls of fur came alive and began running around the room. “Danny, help!”
Danny had just made his way through the mud, to the back of the cabin, when Chris’ screams pierced the silence of the woods. He ran, clumsily, trying to keep his balance and as he got to the porch a lightning fast ball of fluff ran up one side of him and down the other, before taking off and climbing the nearest tree.
He found Chris inside, wrapped in a blanket, shaking with fright.
“I hate this, Danny! I hate this! Fucking squirrels living in the fucking chimney! God damn it, I want to go home!” Chris cried into his chest as he held her.
“Oh baby, I’m so sorry. But trust me, it’s only going to get better,” he said as he lifted her chin so she would look at him. “I love you, Chris, its okay now, so please baby, and calm down.”
He looked around the cabin and confirmed that there were no more friends staying with them, and pulled the green wood aside, to stop any more smoke. The smoke had pretty much cleared the room, so he turned to Chris once more.
“Look, I found the electric box, so I’m going to see if the main breaker is on. You sit here and stay wrapped in the blanket. I’ll be back in two shakes.”
Chris sat in the corner of the room, wrapped in the blanket, fuming with anger. This was not the way her second honeymoon should be going. She hated it here, but she also stopped to think of everything Danny had done for her. He tried so hard to make this a perfect weekend. She swallowed her pride and slapped on a new coat of determination. Nothing was going to spoil this for them.
Suddenly, she heard Danny screaming obscenities at the top of his lungs. She ran to the window and saw him running around, flailing his arms and smacking his own head. When he slipped and face-planted in the mud, the cursing finally stopped. He rolled around for a moment, and then got shakily to his feet.
Chris ran outside. She almost fell too, as she ran through the slippery mud.
“Danny! What happened?” she cried.
“Go back inside before they get you, too!”
Through the slime coating Danny's face, hands and clothes, Chris could see angry bumps already appearing on her husband's skin.
“Are there any still on me?” Danny yelled. “There's a nest under the power box. Bees, or wasps, or some damn thing. They came after me. The little bastards ganged up on me!”
Chris looked toward the electrical box on the side of the cabin, and could see a cloud of angry insects swarming around it.
“Oh my God, baby, are you OK?” she asked.
“We need to get inside before they come after me again!” Danny yelled. “Come on!”
Together, they slipped and skidded around the side of the cabin and on to the porch. Danny continued to slap himself and yell as a few stragglers stung him. Chris received a couple stings, herself.
“Wait!” she cried, as Danny reached for the door. “You can't come inside like this.”
“Why not?” Danny moaned.
“We have to make sure all the bees are off you. There could still be some in your clothes. Plus, you're a muddy mess,” she said. “You're going to have to take your clothes off our here.”
“Out here? I can't just strip naked outside.”
“Well, it's not like anyone's going to see you. There doesn't seem to be another living soul around this God-forsaken hell-hole you brought me to.”
“Oh honey, trust me, things will bet better. I just need to get cleaned up and to put something on these stings.”
“Did you get the power turned on?” Chris asked.
“No, the bees came at me before I could open the box.”
“Well, then, there's no water to clean you up with.”
“Oh.” For the first time, Danny's infuriating optimism seemed to waver. “So what am I going to do?”
“Take your clothes off. I'll get some bottled water to wash you off with.”
“But it's cold out here.”
“It's not exactly hot inside, either. Now strip. I'll be right back,” Chris said, taking off her own muddy shoes and going inside.
Working together, the couple managed to clean the worst of the mud from Danny's hair, face and body. As his skin was exposed, they began to appreciate the number of stings Danny had received. His hands, face, and scalp were covered with angry welts; there were a number of stings on his forearms, and a few on areas that had been covered by his clothes.
“Baby, you've never been allergic to bee stings, have you?” Chris asked, sounding worried.
“No, but I have so many stings on my hands that they're starting to swell. And my hands and head feel like they're on fire. Plus I'm freezing,” he whined.
“OK, I'll be right back with some towels and dry clothes. You finish washing,” Chris said.
“Do we have anything for bee stings?”
“How would I know? You packed our stuff.”
“Oh, right. Then no, we don't have anything.”
“Wait, I have my hay fever pills in my purse,” she said.
“Your antihistamine? I can't take that stuff. It knocks me out.”
“Yes, but it will help you fight the reaction to the stings. Do you have a better idea?”
“No,” Danny mumbled.
Chris went inside to look for her pills and some clothes for her husband. “Some second honeymoon,” she grumbled as she climbed over the wreckage of the bed in their room to get to Danny's suitcase.
Outside, Danny stood, shivering and miserable. “Come on, hurry up!” he called. “I'm freezing out here.”
“Maybe ya oughta put some clothes on, ya damn fool! Who the hell are ya?”
A voice said from out in the yard.
Danny spun around, nearly falling again on the muddy, wet porch. “Who the hell are you?”
“I asked ya first, and ya better have a damn good answer,” the man said. “And for God's sake, have some decency and cover yerself.”
“This is my place,” Danny said.
“The hell it is! This is the widow Jenkins' cabin,” the man snarled. “Now ya best tell me what the hell ya think yer doin'!”
“Waiting for my wife to bring me a towel and some clothes. And some pills,” Danny answered, shaking with cold.
“I shoulda knowed it! You're one of them damn druggies, ain't ya? I have half a mind to run home and get my gun. Some buckshot oughta warm ya up, ya damn pervert!” the man said, spitting a long line of tobacco juice on the ground.
At that point, Chris appeared in the doorway.
“Go back inside, Missus, this ain't nuthin' for no decent woman to see. Some weirdo out here was tryin' to break into.... Hold on a minute! What the hell are ya doin' inside the widow Jenkins' cabin?”
Chris came outside. “This is my husband. Who are you?”
“Yer husband? So yer another damn druggie, are ya? Ya got some kinda nerve, Missus, helpin' this here pervert break into the old widow's place!”
“I'm Danny Jenkins. This is my mother's place.”
“Yer little Danny Jenkins?”
“Yes,” Danny replied, shivering.
“Then ya ain't breakin' in?” Another stream of tobacco juice hit the ground.
“NO!” Danny and Chris yelled in unison.
“Then why are ya out here nekkid?”
“It's a long story,” Chris said, completely exasperated. “But you still didn't answer my question. Who are you?”
“I'm Chester Hooper. I take care of this place for the widow Jenkins.”
“So, if you're supposed to take care of this place, why is there no electricity? Why is there no running water? Why hasn't it been cleaned? Why is there a bee's nest in the electrical box? And why were squirrels living in the fucking chimney? You should have taken care of that!” Chris was starting to sound a little hysterical.
“Calm yerself, Missus. That's why I'm here. You wasn't supposed to be here until late tonight. That's what the widow Jenkins told me.”
“Yeah, well my husband just couldn't wait to get here to this little piece of heaven, so we drove up last night,” Chris said.
Hooper spat on the ground again. “If you woulda got here when you was supposed to, I woulda been done with all that. Don't take no time just to turn on the electric and clean out a chimney, and we was comin' over this afternoon to clean.”
“You can't turn on the power,” Danny said. “There's a nest of bees or wasps or hornets under it.”
“Shit! Oh, sorry, pardon my French, Missus. I reckon I'll run home and fetch a can of that there spray ya use to shoot 'em out of the air. I can stand twenty feet away and soak the nest good with that stuff. I'll come in and clean the chimney while I wait for 'em to finish dyin', and then ya'll have electric and water just as nice as you please. All the comforts of home.”
“Please hurry,” Chris said.
Danny and Chris went inside and Hooper started walking back to his house for the insect spray.
By the time Hooper came back in his rust-bucket pick-up truck, the rain had stopped, and the sun had started to shine. Danny was dressed in dry clothes and bundled up in a couple of blankets, trying to get warm, since the cabin was still cold and damp inside. Chris was trying to remove some of the stingers the bees had left in Danny's hands, scalp, and face. The couple could hear Hooper outside.
“Yeah, take that, ya little rascals! Hoo-wee! Yeah, die, ya bastards! Ha! Ha! Ya don't scare me! I brung plenty of ammunition to this here little war!” he hollered from the back of the cabin.
“What the hell is he doing?” Danny asked.
“I guess he's spraying that nest,” Chris said, getting up to look out a window. “Oh my God, he's out there dancing around, yelling, with an aerosol can in each hand, spraying stuff at the bees that are coming at him.”
“Yeeeee-haw! Almost got me that time, ya cowardly little prick! But America always wins!” Hooper shouted.
“He sounds deranged.” Danny muttered from inside his cocoon of blankets.
“He looks ridiculous,” Chris giggled. “You should see the look on his face. He's having fun. He looks like John Wayne out there, doing his Rooster Cogburn thing, shooting from the hip!”
“Well, I just hope he kills them all and gets the power turned on. I can't get warm, and I really need a hot shower to get the rest of this mud off me.”
“Oh honey, I know. I guess it will take a while for the water to heat up, but when it does, you can have the first shower,” Chris said, returning to the sofa.
“Or we could shower together,” Chris said, a gleam in her eyes.
“Maybe tonight,” Danny said. “Right now, I'm too miserable to even think about that, even with you, sweetheart. And I'm really sleepy.”
“That's the allergy medicine. We knew it would make you groggy, remember?”
“Yeah, but I thought it would take away some of this itching and burning, too.”
Hooper knocked on the door. “Anyone in there?” he yelled.
Chris opened the door.
“'Scuse me, Missus,” Hooper said, pushing past her with an armload of firewood and leaving a trail of muddy footprints on the floor. “I brung some dry wood and kindling for ya, since all of yours is wet outside. I'll clean out that chimney and get a good fire going while ya wait for the electric heat to catch up.”
He dumped the wood on the floor near the hearth and went back outside.
“Look at the mess he's making!” Chris exclaimed.
“Who cares?” Danny said sleepily. “At least maybe we'll get warm.”
Hooper came back inside, carrying a bundle of kindling and newspaper and a long-handled brush. Soon a shower of sticks, dry grass, acorns, and soot fell into the fireplace. “OK, now I'll go up the ladder and push the rest down. We'll have a nice fire goin' in no time.”
He turned to the couple and watched Chris work on Danny. “Oh, no, Missus, not like that!”
“What do you mean?” Chris asked.
“Ya don't use tweezers to get stingers out. That only squeezes more o' that there poison into the skin. Ya gotta get them things out real careful. Here, lemme show ya.”
Hooper pulled a wicked looking hunting knife out of his belt sheath.
“What, are you crazy?” she shrieked.
“Huh? Oh, I ain't gonna cut 'em out, Missus,” Hooper cackled. “Ya gotta scrape 'em out, like this.” He used the edge of the blade to scrape across the skin of Danny's arm, and in a moment, flicked a small piece of debris away with his dirty fingernail. “See, no blood, no pain, and no more of that stuff goin' in his skin. Try it.” He held the knife out to her.
“Do I have to use something that big and sharp?” she asked nervously.
“Nah, I guess not. Anything with a smooth hard edge'll do, I guess.”
“How about a credit card?” Chris asked.
“I don't have none of them, but I guess that'd work.”
Chris went to the counter and pulled one out of the wallet in her purse.
Hooper looked at it and shrugged. “Give 'er a try.”
“Honey, I'm going to try this,” Chris said to her husband.
“OK,” Danny mumbled. “I don't care anymore. I wish I could just go to sleep, but I itch and burn so badly.”
“Yeah, they got you pretty good, sonny,” Hooper said. “But ya know what's good for that, don't ya?”
“What?” Chris asked.
“Once ya have all them stingers out, go outside and get some nice mud and pack it on the spots. Ya'll have to wrap his hands and head up in some rags to keep the mud wet, but that'll draw the sting and burn out. By tomorrow, he'll be right as rain.”
Hooper spat a line of tobacco juice into the fireplace and went back outside.
“God, what an insufferable savage,” Chris said as she went back to work on her husband.
“Maybe, but he's helping us. It'll be OK. Trust me, baby, things will get better.”
“Yeah, right,” Chris said under her breath.
Soon, Hooper came tromping back inside, making more muddy footprints on the floor. He knelt in front of the fireplace, and in moments, had a fire lain on the grate.
“I'm gonna have ya warm in a few minutes,” he said as he watched the newspaper and dry kindling begin to blaze. “Now, I'm gonna put some bigger pieces of this here dry wood on to get a nice hot fire goin'. Don't go nowhere. I'll be back in a sec.”
Hooper went outside, and in a moment, returned, bringing wet wood and some more mud with him. “Yeah, that's the stuff. It's feelin' better in here already. That's turnin' into a real nice, hot fire. I'm puttin' some wet wood on top. Ya got a nice draft, so this'll catch and ya won't have no smoke in here. I'll put this here screen across, and everything will be nice and safe, too.”
He stood up. “Oh, and don't worry none about the floor. We'll be back shortly to clean this place up. It'll be spic and span in no time.”
When they heard Hooper drive away, Chris said, “I'm done pulling the stingers out, I think.”
“But I itch and burn so badly,” Danny whined, half asleep.
“I know, baby. I'm going to go into town to get some topical ointment to put on you. I'm sure as hell not going to smear you with mud like some caveman.”
“I think I'll take a nap while you're gone.”
“OK. I love you. I'll be back soon.” She grabbed her purse. “God, I bet I look a sight. If I were at home, I'd never go out looking like this. I'm glad no one knows me out here.”
In a moment, she was back inside.
Danny's only response was a light snoring sound coming from his blanket cocoon on the sofa.
“Danny! The car has a flat tire. DANNY! Wake up!” She shook him.
“Huh? What?” he mumbled.
“The fucking car has a fucking flat! Get up! You're going to have to change the tire!”
Danny slowly rolled on his side and tried to focus on her. “Huh?”
“Damn it, get up and help me. I can't change a tire on that beast of an SUV you insisted on buying. You're going to have to help me so I can go into town and get medicine for your damn bee stings. Get up!”
“Honey, I can't change a tire with these hands,” Danny said. “Look. They're so swollen I can't even bend my fingers right.”
“Well, what am I going to do?” she asked.
“Maybe Hooper can help you,” Danny said. He rolled onto his back again and began to snore.
“Oh God!” Chris exclaimed as she headed for the door. “You're lucky I love you, Danny Jenkins.”
Chris stalked angrily up the dirt road in the direction Hooper's truck had gone. “Second honeymoon!” she muttered to herself in a mocking voice. “Trust me, baby, it's going to be great,” he said. “You'll really like it, honey,” he said. “Just you, me, mud, bees, squirrels, and the Neanderthal, is what he should have said!”
After a few hundred yards, she spotted Hooper's old truck sitting in front of a small clapboard house. Chris had expected to see a ratty couch on the porch and a wrecked car up on blocks in a yard littered with beer cans and broken bottles, but, although run-down, the place looked surprisingly neat. She knocked on the door.
Hooper was frowning when he answered. “I said we'd be down presently to clean the house, and I meant what I said. City folk can't wait for nuthin', can ya?”
“I didn't mean to rush you. That's not why I'm here. I need your help with our car. I wanted to go into town, but the car has a flat tire. Danny's hands are too swollen to change it, and I'm not good with things like that. I wondered if you could help me.”
“Oh, sorry, Missus. Didn't mean to be rude. Lemme just fetch some tools, and I'll drive ya back there and get ya fixed up. Got a spare?”
“Of course,” Chris answered.
“Got air in it?”
“Um, I guess so.”
“Yeah, I think I'll bring my tire pump.”
Hooper threw a few tools in the bed of his truck. “Ya'll hafta get in on my side and slide over, Missus. That other door don't latch right.”
They made it back to the cabin without incident, and Hooper changed the tire on the SUV.
“I'm just going to check on my husband before I leave,” Chris said.
“If yer OK with it, I'll check that fire. Maybe bring in some more wood to dry out,” Hooper said.
Danny was still on the couch, snoring peacefully.
“Huh, sleeping like a baby, ain't he?” Hooper chuckled. “I'm gonna get started on some clean-up work here while yer gone, if that's OK.” He jerked his thumb at the couch. “Don't think it'll bother him none.
“That will be fine. I shouldn't be too long,” Chris said.
About two hours later, Chris drove back down the dirt road to the cabin. The porch had been swept clean of winter debris, and the muddy footprints had been scrubbed away. Hooper was up on the roof, picking up some small branches that had fallen during the winter and tossing them down onto the ground.
When she walked inside, Chris saw that the living room floor had been scrubbed clean, too. Neat stacks of firewood were on either side of the hearth, dry wood and kindling on one side, and some damp wood that had been stacked outside on the other. The fire was still going in the fireplace, and the room was warm, dry, and cozy.
Danny was still asleep on the couch, but he apparently had been up at some point, since he was now dressed only in his boxer shorts. He seemed to be smiling in his sleep. The blankets he had been using were folded in a neat pile on the floor, and he was partially covered with a sheet.
“He looks so peaceful,” she said to herself. “At least he doesn't have to feel the misery from all those bee stings. I'm not going to wake him up to put the lotion on him. I'll just let him sleep. God, I love that man. He meant so well with all this.”
She went to the fridge in the kitchen and put away the wine, strawberries, and whipped cream she had bought in anticipation of an interesting evening alone with her man.
“What am I hearing? Is that water running?” Chris asked herself. “Oh shit, now what? Please tell me we don't have a broken pipe!”
She went down the hall toward the bathroom, where the sound was coming from. It sounded like the shower was running. Just as she got to the bathroom door, she heard the water shut off.
The shower curtain was flung aside, and a young woman with the body of a centerfold grabbed a towel and started drying her face and long blond hair. She apparently had not seen Chris standing in the doorway, frozen in place and speechless.
Chris' shock turned to rage as she remembered seeing her husband, sleeping nearly nude in the living room, with a contented look on his face. Without a sound, she walked back down the hallway and into the living room to stand next to her husband on the sofa.
He was still sleeping soundly, still with that satisfied look. Chris couldn't take it any more. She ripped the pillow from under Danny's head and hit him hard in the face with it.
“You son of a bitch! (Whap!) You rotten, filthy bastard! (Thud!) I hate you! (Smack!) I'm gone for two hours, and this is what you do? (Thump!)
By this time, Danny was fully awake and attempting to defend himself from the attack. “What the hell? What are you doing? What's wrong with you?”
“What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? You no-good, cheating son of a bitch! You bring some teenager into the house and fuck her while I'm gone, and you ask what's wrong with me?” Chris shrieked.
“Baby, what are you talking about?” Danny yelled, sitting up.
“You whoring bastard! You pretended to be so miserable, played on my sympathy to get me out of the house, just so you could bring some little bitch in to get your rocks off?”
“I don't know what you mean!” Danny said. “There's no one else here!”
“Liar! No one else except for the big-boobed NAKED blonde in the bathroom; you low-life, lying scum! You planned all this, didn't you? Second honeymoon, my ass! How long have you been cheating on me?”
“What's all the ruckus and hollerin' in here?” Chester Hooper said as he burst through the door.
“And you! Did you know about this? Are you that little whore's pimp?” Chris screamed at Hooper.
“Daddy, what's going on out here?” The girl from the shower appeared in the living room, a towel barely covering her.
“Sarah Jane, go put yer clothes on, girl. Decent people don't parade around half-nekkid, not like some weirdo city folk I seen lately,” Hooper said to the girl.
“Who the hell is that?” Danny asked.
“Oh, don't you dare play stupid with me! That's the whore I found in the shower, you son of a bitch,” Chris yelled, grabbing the pillow to hit her husband again.
“Hey, Missus, that's my little girl yer talkin' about,” Hooper said as he grabbed the pillow away from Chris.
“What? You sick bastard, you whore out your own daughter? Oh, this is too much. This nightmare can't be happening!” Chris said. She flopped into a nearby chair and started to cry.
“Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?” Danny asked.
“What's goin' on is yer crazy wife is callin' my sweet little girl some damn filthy names! Ya need to be a man and get control of yer woman!” Hooper said.
Danny looked completely confused. “Why is your daughter standing here, practically nude, dripping water on the living room floor?”
Sarah Jane clutched the towel more tightly to herself. “I was cleaning your bathroom. Everyone knows the only way to really clean a bathtub and shower is to get inside. I didn't want to get my clothes all wet, so I took them off, and when I was done cleaning, I wanted to wash up. I'll take the towel home and wash it and bring it back,” she said, meekly.
“Sarah Jane Hooper, go back and put yer clothes on. No one wants to see ya in the altogether,” Hooper growled.
“Chris, honey, sweetheart, I swear, I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't even know she was here. The last thing I remember was you saying you were going into town and me saying I wanted to take a nap. Honest! Please believe me!” Danny pleaded to his wife.
Chris, still sobbing, looked at Danny. “If that's true, why are you sitting here in just your underwear?”
Danny looked down and quickly pulled the sheet over to cover himself. “Why am I in my underwear?” he said, sounding truly mystified.
Hooper said, “I can answer that one. He started sweatin' like a pig once it got warm in here. I tried to wake him up, but he wasn't havin' none of it, so I pulled them blankets off him. I saw his clothes was sweaty, and I knew that wasn't no good for them stings. Makes 'em itch worse. He wasn't about to help hisself, so I pulled some of his clothes off to try and keep him comfy.”
Sarah Jane returned to the room, her damp hair pulled back in a ponytail, wearing a Willy Nelson t-shirt and a pair of tiny cut-off jeans that fit her like body paint.
“That's more like it. At least yer decent now, child,” Hooper said.
“I'm so sorry I caused a problem,” Sarah Jane said. “Mr. Jenkins, you were sound asleep when I got here. Daddy said you had taken pills to help your bee stings feel better. I'm a nursing student, so I know antihistamines really make some people sleepy. Daddy said you wouldn't mind if I started cleaning while you slept. And Mrs. Jenkins, I didn't think you would be home so soon. I just wanted to have everything nice for you when you got back. And I sure wouldn't do anything wrong with another woman's husband.”
“I wish I could believe all that,” Chris said.
“Honey, what's not to believe? You trust me, don't you?” Danny asked.
“I want to.”
“Well now, it seems like my little Sarah Jane has said a right nice apology to ya, Missus. Don't ya have nuthin' to say to my little girl?” Hooper asked.
Chris wiped her eyes and looked around the room. “You certainly did a lot of cleaning in a short time. The place looks amazing.”
For the first time, Sarah Jane smiled. “Thank you. Daddy did a lot of it with me, but when it came time to do the bathroom, I said I would handle it myself, so Daddy went outside to do some clean-up out there.”
“Yes, you two have done a remarkable job in a very short time. Thank you. And I'm sorry I said what I did,” Chris said.
“That's OK, then. I s'pose it may have looked a little funny to ya. My late wife (rest her soul!) prob'ly woulda took my huntin' knife to me instead of a pillow if she woulda had the wicked thoughts you did, Missus.”
“I just have to clean the stove and the counter top in the kitchen, and then I'll be done in here,” Sarah Jane said.
Hooper nodded. “I'm about done outside. I'll run Sarah Jane home and get some tools and some wood to fix that there bed frame. I don't look too bad. It'll look OK when I'm done, and it'll be stronger than new.”
“Don't worry about the bed today. We'll be OK with the mattress and box spring on the floor,” Danny said.
“All right then. How 'bout if I fix it tomorrow when I come down to mow the grass?”
“That's fine,” Chris said. “And Sarah Jane, I'm truly sorry I made those horrible accusations about you.”
“OK, Mrs. Jenkins. I'm just sorry I upset you.”
Hooper went back outside, and Sarah Jane busied herself in the kitchen.
“Honey?” Danny said.
“Are we OK?”
“Yes, Danny, I'm so sorry. I feel like a fool. This has all been pretty stressful. I over-reacted,” Chris said.
“Come here, baby,” Danny said, patting the sofa next to him.
Chris sat down next to her husband and took his hand in hers.
“Ow! Damn, my hands and face are still so sore.”
“Oh honey, I didn't mean to hurt you. I got some lotion for your stings. And some wine, some strawberries, and some whipped cream for later, if you like,” Chris said, carefully snuggling up against her husband.
“If I like? Yeah, I like! I love you, baby. Trust me; things will get a lot better.”
Danny napped most of the afternoon, with the help of the lotion and the antihistamines. Chris busied herself in the kitchen. She marinated the steaks Danny had brought in some red wine, and threw together a chopped green salad.
She took a long hot shower and took time to do her hair and makeup, just so. Since Danny chose not to bring any sleeping attire, she put on a fresh bra and panties, and then loosely tied her robe around her.
While Chris finished up dinner, Danny went into the bathroom to make himself a little more presentable. He couldn't shave because of the bee stings, and even the water from the shower hurt him. He decided to take another antihistamine so that he would feel better and he could spend some needed quality time with his wife.
The couple toasted to their anniversary and pretty much finished the wine with dinner. After Chris cleared the table, she brought out the container of whipped cream and turned to her husband with a sultry look.
"Care for some dessert, lover?" she asked.
What she didn't expect was to see was Danny with his head down on the table, snoring. Chris gently shook his shoulder and he stirred and tried to raise his head. His eyes just didn't look right.
"Danny, what's wrong with you? Are you okay?" the worry showing in her voice.
"Huh? Dunno, just so sleepy," he muttered. "Just wanna feel good for you....just one more pill...."
"You didn't, Danny; tell me you didn't," Chris said, realizing what her poor husband had done.
She felt he would probably be all right, after a good night's sleep. But Geez, how stupid could he have been to take the pill and then drink? Well, she guessed they could both probably do with a good night's sleep, after the day's excitement.
After Chris sort of dumped the semi-conscious Danny on the mattress, she went back into the kitchen to finish cleaning up. All of a sudden, she had an idea. Tomorrow was supposed to be a perfect summer's day. She'd pack up the the berries and whipped cream along with some sandwiches for a picnic lunch. Danny had talked about the pond, and given the seclusion, it might be the perfect spot for food play and frolicking in the water.
Danny woke the next morning to the smell of bacon and eggs. When he stumbled into the kitchen he stopped and looked as though someone had smacked him upside the head.
"Oh no," he said softly, looking around. "Chris, what happened last night?"
She wasn't angry when she spoke. How could she be, seeing him standing there with his brown tousled hair and the still-half-asleep look in his eyes?
"Nothing sweetheart," she said smiling. "You went out like a light, before dessert. But that's okay honey, you and I are going to walk to the pond today and play to our heart's content."
Chris went over and placed a tender kiss on Danny's lips, and then pushed him into the chair at the kitchen table. Oh, it was going to be a much better day, trust her.
While Danny showered, Chris finished packing their lunch and changed into a pair of very short shorts, and a zippered top. What Danny didn't know was that there was nothing else on under those two pieces of clothing.
Danny was feeling a lot better. The bee stings barely bothered him as he showered. He thought of the picnic and his beautiful wife. Blood poured into this cock and it swelled. It had been so long, and he knew if he wasn't careful, it would all be over prematurely. As the water beat down on his chest, Danny stroked his cock deliberately, massaging his balls with his other hand. With his eyes closed, he imagined Chris laid out on the table, covered with whipped cream, inviting him to lick her clean. It wasn't long before Danny shot a load that made his knees just about buckle.
Mr. Hooper came to cut the grass, so the couple grabbed the quilt off the bed and their picnic basket, and were able to sneak away without having to start a conversation. Chris and Danny held hands and giggled like teenagers as they walked through the woods. Danny plucked a sprig of buttercups and put it in Chris's hair. He pushed her back against a tree and kissed her longingly, his hand going to her breast.
"What's this?" he asked, pulling her shirt away from her body and peering down into the top. "No bra? Well now this is going to make the afternoon a lot more interesting."
Danny kissed her again, pushing his growing hardness into her belly. It was all Chris could do not to rip her clothes off, brace herself against a tree and let him take her from behind. She cupped his face hard and kissed him with everything she had. Danny pulled away and saw a fire of passion in his wife's eyes that he hadn't seen in a long while. He grabbed her hand and began a half run towards the pond. He needed to get this nymph wet, and not by going swimming.
Danny started to get excited when he saw a clearing up ahead.
"Wait till you see it Chris," he said excitedly. "It's a beautiful pristine pond surrounded by evergreens and wild flowers. The ground will be soft with a layer of pine needles. This is going to be perfect."
Chris picked up the pace to keep up with her husband. She almost ran him over when he stopped dead in his tracks. Before them was a green colored algae ridden scummy hole, surrounded by dead trees. As the breeze blew, the stench almost knocked them over. Danny turned to tell Chris they could still picnic, when he saw her open her mouth and let loose with a blood-curdling scream. She was frozen, looking down at her feet as a water snake ran over her, heading for the water.
As soon as it cleared her feet, Chris let loose. "That's it! I've had it! No more, Danny, no more. I will not stay in this god-forsaken place one more minute! I know we're not supposed to go home until tomorrow, but I'm leaving now – with or without you!"
Danny chased after his wife as she broke into a run. He didn't blame her; he couldn't. It had been one calamity after another, ruining his anniversary surprise. He was going to make this up to her, one way or another.
When they got back to the cottage, Mr. Hooper was gone. Chris stormed into the bedroom to pack her bags and noticed the bed was repaired and the mattress and box spring were back in place, with the bed made. It didn't matter. There was no way in hell she was going to spend another night in this place.
Danny worked quietly, loading the cooler, taking things out to the SUV. Chris hadn't said a word to him and that had him worried. He would rather she be screaming now instead of quietly getting ready to leave. When she came out of the bedroom she looked at him, her lip quivering and tears filling her eyes.
"I wanted this so badly," she said between gasps and gulps. "It's been nothing but a nightmare from the very beginning."
"Come on baby," he said. "Let's get going. Someday we'll look back on this and laugh."
Danny had been driving about an hour, when he decided to stop for gas. As luck would have it, and it was finally luck, across the street was a hotel with a sign that read VACANCY. He refused to let this weekend defeat him. When he got in the car, he pulled right across the street into the parking lot.
"What are you doing?" Chris questioned.
"I'll be right back," Danny said, smiling. "Trust me."
Chris watched as her husband disappeared through the office doors, and then came back within a couple of minutes, waving what appeared to be a credit card at her.
"We're in luck; they have one last room available with a king size bed. And get this honey, it's a Jacuzzi suite."
They carried their bags up to the second floor and entered the large room. Immediately on their left was a large bathroom with a separate shower, and the largest tub they had ever seen. It easily could have held four people. Danny just winked and kissed his wife while they walked further into the suite.
There was a wet bar with coffeemaker and small refrigerator and a huge California king size bed. Danny dropped his bag and jumped into the middle of the bed, opening his arms and beckoning his wife.
"Come here baby. Let's start this honeymoon off right."
In a matter of seconds, Danny and Chris had stripped each other of their clothes. Danny lay to Chris's side, kissing her lips and running his hand down along her side. He could feel the swell of her ripe breasts, the bend of her waist, the curve of her hip, then trailing in to her soft smooth valley.
Chris trembled as she slowly opened her legs, in anticipation of Danny's approaching hand. He leaned down and while he rubbed the outside of her pussy, he trailed kisses from her mouth, down her throat, to her breast. He latched on to her erect nipple and listened to her sigh with contentment.
Danny didn't want her to be content; he wanted her to be excited. He gently grabbed her nipple in his teeth and pulled. He started running his finger up and down her slit, flicking her clit along the way. She moaned when Danny started sliding his finger from her opening to her clit, rising up trying to capture his digit in her now wet hole. He forcefully suckled her once more and drove his two fingers into her waiting tunnel.
Chris almost shrieked as he massaged her spongy g-spot. Danny was relentless, pushing harder, massaging harder, and sucking harder until Chris practically sat straight up and screamed as her orgasm hit her, and drowned his hand with her fluids. He always found it satisfying to make his wife squirt.
He slowed his pace but continued to fuck her with his finger. He left her breast and began to move down, still covering her body with his kisses.
He whispered, "I'm going to make you weak."
"Oh God, Danny," she panted. "Please stop. Let me catch my breath."
"But I like you breathless, baby," he said, but slowed his finger.
Chris pulled at his face to bring his mouth to hers. Their lips met and their tongues danced to a sensual rhythm. She reached down to take her husband's hardening cock and began to stroke it. It was Danny who sighed with contentment, this time.
Chris broke their kiss to that she could move out of Danny's arms and lean over his stiff, straight cock. With one move, she took him deep into her throat. Now it was his body that moved, involuntarily. She gave her husband a little smile and went back to work.
Chris was up on her hands and knees, holding Danny's cock and licking it up and down. She ran her teeth down the underside of his shaft, making him squirm on the bed. While she sealed her lips around his rod, Danny looked at his wife's sexy ass, and the still moist hole. He dipped his finger in again, making Chris moan on his cock. He scooped out some of her sweet cream with his finger, and spread it up around her little puckered hole. It just seemed to wink at him.
Danny pressed one of his fingers into Chris’s tightly shut entrance and the other back into her pussy, moving them slowly but steadily. The feeling of both her holes being used spurred Chris on. She lowered her head to tug on Danny’s sack with her teeth, while continuing to stroke him.
“Shit, baby,” he moaned. “I need this so bad. Come on, let me taste you again.”
Chris giggled as she moved to straddle her husband’s face, half laying down his body while she savored the feel and taste of his cock in her mouth. Danny pushed his tongue into her pussy, to feed from her again.
Chris’s hips moved with Danny’s tongue. Danny’s hips pushed up, feeding his wife as much of his cock as he could. Sounds of wetness and the smell of sweet sex filled the air.
Danny gripped Chris’s hips tighter and thrust deep into her throat as the first spurts blasted from his cock. Chris kept her lips sealed around his shaft, not wanting to miss a drop of her man’s juice. She felt the familiar roar of orgasm deep inside her, demanding to set itself free. The lovers surrendered themselves to the moment.
Chris rose up and crawled off her husband’s exhausted body. The two lay staring at the ceiling, holding hands.
“Now that is a second honeymoon,” Chris said as she started to giggle.
“You know,” Danny said, winking at Chris. “A nice long soak in the Jacuzzi might be just what we need to recover.”
The hot water churned as the pair slipped into the large tub. They laughed and played, the hot water causing them to float around. Danny wanted to play “up periscope” while Chris gaily suggested “hide the submarine.”
Try as they might, there was no being serious about making love in the Jacuzzi. After about forty-five minutes of laughter and play, they got out and wrapped themselves in huge towels. The wobbly couple walked to the bed and dried each other off.
Danny and Chris got underneath the blankets and moved into each others arms. Chris nuzzled Danny’s neck while he rubbed her back. Their muscles were totally relaxed and everything comfortable and warm.
“Feel good, sweetie?” Danny asked softly.
“Mmmmm, I don’t know when I’ve ever felt this relaxed, Danny. This is going to be a perfect night.”
Soon the silence of the night was broken with the sounds of the lovers. Only this time, it was their snoring that filled the air.