A college football coach down in Louisiana was pissed off at how poorly his team was practicing that day. He called them all together and began to berate them, becoming angrier and angrier:
"You guys hit like a bunch of PUSSIES!! I've NEVER seen such a lame-ass group of players like YOU!!!"
The practice field was next to a swamp, and the coach noticed a 1 foot alligator waddling across the field. He ran over and grabbed it, then yelled at the team: "Let me show you how tough a REAL football player should be!!" He pulled down his pants and allowed the gator to chomp down onto his cock. The coach stood there red in the face, sweating bullets from his forehead, then finally punches the gator in the head. It released him and tried to run away, but he grabbed it and held it up again.
"OK, WHO'S NEXT?" he yelled. No one moves or answers him, the team still in shock. Finally the little kicker tentatively raised his hand and said: "I will, coach, but you've got to promise not to punch me in the head".