I stared at the shack wonder way Sherry had asked me to come here. I looked down at the note in my hand as I walked slowly up to it not sure why the hair on my neck stood on end. I pushed opened the door and took a step in. She was lying on the cot in the corner and my breathing increased as I crept up to her and then I show her eyes. Her lifeless eyes staring at me, I ran to her dropping to my knees beside her and that was when I saw the cut across her neck. “You’re never be able to protect her from me bitch.”
I jerked up and felt the sweat dripping down my face as I looked around our room. I turned to find that Sherry wasn’t in bed with me and my fear increased until I saw the clock beside our bed. It was just after ten and she would be in school. I covered my face in my hands slowly trying to calm my mind “Another dream?”
I looked up into Ashley’s concerned eyes. It has been a week since I was released from the hospital after my latest attempt on my life. Mr. Clearwater or Ashley was staying with me while Sherry was in school. Not because they were worried I’ll try again but because of these dreams “How long?” I asked as I got out of bed grabbing my crutches “A little over an hour this time.”
The dreams came every time I closed my eyes. I was lucky to sleep more than two hours in between them. I made my way out back and pulled out my cigarettes and lit one as I let my mind clear itself of the haunting image of her “Same as the others?” Ashley asked and I looked over at her leaning against the frame of the door. I nodded and set down in a plastic lawn chair and stared at the clouds over head. “Have you told the Therapist about the dreams?”
“God how many times to I have to tell you guys, yes?” My voice was hard and I felt bad right after I said it and looked over at her. She shook her head knowing I was going to apologize. “It’s ok, I understand that it hard.” She walked over and laid a hand on my shoulder. “You know we are here for you if you want to talk about them.” I kept the dreams from them for two reasons. One it was hard for me to talk about them and two because I didn’t want to give them those images.
“I found a note from Sherry tell me to meet her at the shack I hide at when I need to get away from Mike.” Ashley’s brows rose as I started speaking but she didn’t say anything. “When I walked in I found her with her throat slit and her eyes staring at me accusing, like I had failure her. Then I heard his voice saying I could never protect her.” I buried my face into my hands as the dream played again in my head.
“Every time I close my eyes I see her dead.” I looked at her and tears slowly slid down my face. “He broke something in me when he called me. I feel in it growing inside of me, the fear that I can’t keep her safe. I hate that she away from when she at school because I don’t know if she safe or not.” Ashley kneeled down in front of me grabbing my hands. “Becky you cannot do this to yourself. By letting yourself have these fears he wins and we both don’t want him to win again.” She turned my hands over until I saw the scars down my wrist.
I jerked my hands from hers “How the hell do I do that when I see her dead every time I close my damn eyes. You seat there and say that like it a switch I can just flip off. He put that in me by using the one people that I care about the most. How can I not feel this, I can’t just close my mind to those fears after every dream.”
I threw my cigarette down and got up and turned only to find her standing there. Her face was ghostly white and I could see the fear and worry in her eyes. She had seen what the beast was capable of and she had looked that beast in the eyes alone, something I would never wish on her. I couldn’t look at her anymore and walked into the house. She tried to grabbed my arm but I pulled free “Becky.” I didn’t stop until I was in our room and had the door closed.
I laid down with my face in the pillows. Mike has done so many things to me. He beat and raped me hundreds of times, took my ability to have kids, put me in crutches for the rest of my life. Why, why after all that did he have to take her from me like this? Yes she was here but just looking at her made me see those dream again.
“Why won’t she look at me for more than a minute? The only time I am close to her is when we are asleep and even then I feel the distance.” I heard the tears in Sherry’s voice and felt worse that I was hurting her like I was. “She found a way to handle her feeling and fear when Mike was hurt her, but her fear of losing you is driving her crazy. She doesn’t sleep because of those dreams and when you are away she can’t stop herself from worrying. She loves you and all she wants is to keep you safe, but she doesn’t want you to stop living your life just to make sure of that. It doesn’t make since but fear never does.” It was quit after that and I laid there feel both stupid and scared.
I must have fallen asleep again because I jerk awake again from another dream. I rolled over and found her sitting on the bed beside me. “I’m sorry” I said as I pushed up against the headboard. “I don’t mean to hurt you like I am.” She reached over and cupped my cheek and I leaned into her touch. I felt my emotions calm. I grabbed her hand and pulled until I had her in my arms. I ran my hand lightly over her cheek and looked into her eyes for a moment then kissed her.
I pulled back feeling both ashamed and sad that I had forgot what it felt like to kiss her. The love her lips held for me. I kissed her again more passionate this time and I felt the fire burst inside me that I hadn’t felt since the last time we had been like this. I rolled until I was on top of her and I felt her hand on my back. I pulled back slightly and looked deep into her eyes. “I love you.” Then my lips were against her harder than ever. She returned it and I ran my hand down until I had her shirt and pushed it up and she leaned towards me to let it ride up her back. We broke the kiss when I got the shirt to her neck and pulled it off throwing it on the floor. I barely noticed that she didn’t have a bra on when she pushed me back and her lips sealed against mine. This too was unlike any of our kisses because they were shorts but fierce full of desire and love.
Her hand pulled off my shirt and it joined hers on the floor and she returned to those kisses. I had never felt so much from her and I then she started working those kiss down my neck until I groaned as she latched on to my right nipple. As she sucked and licked my nipple the fire in me growing and I grabbed her face pulling back to my lips again then I worked my way to her right nipple. Her hand worked its way up my side until she grabbed my breast and squeezed causing me to moan on her nipple and she moaned as well.
I pushed her back until I was again on top of her switching to her other nipple and felt how hard it was as I took it into my mouth. Her moans grew louder and her hand trailed up my back. Her nails dug in to my flesh and I groaned biting down on her nipple and swirled my tongue hard against it. Shivers ran down my back following her hand until it grabbed my ass. Then her hands grabbed the seams of my shorts pushing then down over my panties and down my legs until she used her foot to push them off and her hands returned to my ass and she squeezed and I pulled back moaning. I pushed back and took of her pants and I grabbed her ass pulling her again to my lips and we kneeled on the bed.
I pushed against her shoulder sending her back to the bed and kissed my way from her lips down her breast to her stomach. I kissed her belly button will I worked her panties down and then I move down kissing until I heard her moan again as I kiss her clit then lick her very wet lips. I sucked her clit in my mouth and ran my fingers up her leg until the meet the moister of her pussy and I slowly pushed my finger into her. She grabbed my hair as I did pushing me harder against her clit as my knuckle pressed again her lips. While I suck her clit I worked my finger in and out of her slowly picking up speed until I pushed a second then a third.
Her moans got louder and her breathing got harder and I know she was close and when I felt her hand pushing harder on my head I pulled my finger out and cover her lips with my mouth and ran my tongue from the bottom of her lips to her clit and she explode squirting her cum into my mouth. She was completely lost to her orgasm as I continued sucking her lips pull every drop of her cum into my mouth. I pulled back and her eyes were closed and her chest was raising and falling hard.
Then her eyes snapped open and she shove me over until I was on my back and she moved between my legs yanking off my panties. She sucked on my clit and push a finger in me like I had her and I moaned and felt her moving in and out of me. I grabbed the bed as my mind became consumed by the fire and her mouth and finger. I lost all senses of her as the fire built and I soon started begging for the release of an orgasm as I trashed my head from side to side and then it was like a dam burst and I flooded her mouth with my cum.
She pulled back from my very, very sensitive pussy and kissed me before rolling to her side beside me. I couldn’t speak as my breathing was so hard. Slowly I become more aware of my surroundings and I laughed lightly. “Damn” one word but it had so much mean behind it. “I know” she said and I turned my head and looked at her and she was watching me. “Where the hell did that come?” She asked and again I laughed. “Me, how about you?” we laid there held each other for awhile after that until Mr. Clearwater got home.
I was sitting in the living room the next morning while Ashley was in the kitchen looking online for things to increase our sex life to feel more like yesterday. I just thinking about it again cause me to moan “You ok?” I nodded and looked up at Ashley, she had on her coat and hand me mind. I shut down the computer and got up. I had another appointment with my Therapist in an hour.
The Therapist sat there watching me as I told him about my latest dreams. He never said much but I think just talking about this was helping me. After my appointment Ashley dropped me off at the curve. I had just got into the house when I heard a noise from down the hall and I went to find out what it was. Part of me was nervous that Mike had got into the house but my more rational side of my brain didn’t see that as possible.
Mr. Clearwater door was cracked and I made my way quietly up to it and looked in. I froze when I saw Sherry bouncing up and down on Mr. Clearwater. For a second my mind flashed back to Mike but then Sherry body took my focus and I watched her. As I watched them I felt moister between my legs and my hand moved there without me knowing. I show how he caressed her and moved with care to make sure she was enjoying it. I had never until that moment every seen a man make love and it excited me. With Mike it was his pleasure and he release never mine, but Mr. Clearwater was focus on her until she cum then he focused on himself. When they were finish she rolled off.
She laid beside him and I just stood there as he rolled and lightly ran his finger up and down her like I had a few times. “You didn’t seem to enjoy that like before.” she smiled “No I did it just after yesterday with Becky I felt so much more than ever. I had never seen her like that dad she was almost animal like. She was free and wild and it was oh so good.” He smiled and kissed her. “She slowly moving away from the past and looking towards the future. She understands things that we can never imagine and now her sexual drive is awaking within her.”
When they went to get up I moved quietly until I was sit in the living room and open my laptop. They were a little shocked at finding me sit there and Mr. Clearwater left for work shortly after that and Sherry sat down beside me. “How long have you been home?” I could hear the worry in her voice and smiled at her. “Long enough to finally know the different between have sex with man and making love with a man.” She looked away “I’m sorry I didn’t want you to see that.”
“Why” I asked and she looked back. “Because I didn’t know how you would feel about seeing that.” I looked at her and laugh. “It not like I have never seen anything like that, well no I haven’t. I can see why you like. It made me wonder a little what it would be like to know that kind of love.” I was staring off in to space and felt her hand on mine. “I mean with you I know that but not with a man.”
“Maybe you should asked dad if you two can try it.” I shook my head “No I sure if he would I’ll be afraid memories would came back and I would freak too much, so no.” We sat there quietly for a moment and then she said something that got me thinking. “Why is it you can have sex with me then?” I thought about it for a moment. “It has nothing to do with you being a girl I know that but I feel safe and love with you. You never pushed me further or tried to make me do something. I guess it because it’s you.” She thought about that then looked at me. “What if I was there with you while you were with him?
“I don’t know” she cupped my face and kissed me. “Dad is always going to part of my sex life and you will be too, but to bring both those worlds together would be great so just think about it for awhile.” I looked at her “What’s it like with him?” She thought about that for a moment “it’s like with you, even though he a man I feel the same things with him just not as strong as I do with you. I love dad but I’m in love with you. I can see in your eyes that you are excited by the thought but are scared it will be like Mike and I can promise you that it won’t be. Because of one small fact and do you know what that is?” I shook my head. “If you say stop he will.”
I stared into her eyes and I thought about what she was saying then before I even know what I was saying I asked her “Would he even want me like that?” She smiled “We can ask and find out.” I looked down and thought about this. “I’m still not sure about this what if I not good for him.” She turned my face towards her “are you afraid that you are a bad lover because I know you not. He going into the office for something and will be back in an hour for dinner. I ask him then.” I nodded and then we walked TV.
Like she said an hour after he had left Mr. Clearwater came home and walked into the kitchen. Sherry hopped up and I tried to grab her hand to stop her but she smile. “Dad, can I ask you something?” I sat there almost holding my breath. “You know you can ask me anything.” I hear a pot land on the stove. “Would you ever be with Becky like you are with me?”
“I never thought about why.” I heard her take a breath. “Just wonder really, she never knew what it feels to make love to anyone but me and I thought if she ever wanted to know what it like you would be the best choice.” It was quiet for a moment and I was starting to wonder what was happening. “Hey while I won’t deny that she really beautiful and I have felt attracted to her but I don’t think she is or may ever want that. Honey I don’t know if you ever told you what Mike did to her but she did tell me when I first meet her and some of the things he did to her was really bad.”
“She saw us together early.” I jump as I heard the pan fall to the floor. “I was a little worried she may have I was…” Her voice cut him off. “She said she now understands the different between having sex with a man and making love with a man. She said it got her wonder what it was like. I said maybe she should ask you but she didn’t think she could handle it but I ask what I was there with her.”
“I could tell that it excited her but she had some fears one that lessen when I told her that if she said stop you would.” It again went quiet and I was nervous. “What was her other fears?” His voice was heavy and it took me a moment to realize that he was aroused. “That you wouldn’t want her like that and two that she wouldn’t be good enough for you.” There wasn’t a sound in the house other that and I was barely breathing as I wait to hear what he would say. What I had not expected was for them to come back into the living room. I lowered my eyes as he sat on the coffee table in front of me.
Not happened for a few moment then he reached out and lift my chin until I was looking him in the eyes. Slowly he leaned over and his lips touched mine and I jerk but he waited for a second then pressed them against mine again. At first I didn’t then slowly I started kissing him back. It was a simply kiss not more. When he pulled back he stared into my eyes. I know he could tell I was nervous and I was slightly scared and he smiled which I returned. Then again his lips pressed against mine and he moved until he was sitting next to me. Again he pulled back and stared into my eyes. His arm wrapped around me and he pulled me to him and his lips sealed against mine only this wasn’t like before this was like how Sherry and I kissed. I felt his mouth open and I did as well and felt as his tongue moved into my mouth.
I was sure how long we sat there kissing but when he finally pulled back I was shock that I had my arms under his shoulder holding him to me as he held me to him. “Are you sure this is what you want?” He said as he let me go and we set back. I thought about it and he asked another question. “How do you feel about us being together like that.” I looked up at him “nervous and a little scared.” He asked why and I again took a moment to think. “I’m not sure what to expect or what will happen.”
“Because you are afraid it will be like with Mike or something else?” I shrugged. “I saw how you treated Sherry so it not that I think it going to be like with Mike. I scared because I want to know and I also scared of freaking out if a memory was to surface.” I lowered my eyes “or are you scared that you may like it more then when and you and sherry are together.” I again shrugged not sure how to answer. “I’m willing to be with you like that so you can feel the difference and if you like it and want it again then we can but I know deep down that you are in love with my daughter and this won’t change that. If you want to you can come to my room tonight and sherry can come to but I will only be with you.” I looked up at him. He was giving me the choice to think about it. I nodded and he went back to the kitchen.
After dinner I went outside and stared up at the sky as I got me a cigarette. I did want to know what it felt like with him but was I ready for that. I jump a little when I felt a hand on my back and turned and watch Sherry take a seat beside me. “You been quiet with me and I want to know if you are mad or not. I know you were wonder what it was like but you never did say for sure if you want me to ask him.” I shook my head and kiss her. “Just wonder if I am ready to know or not.” I said as I turned back toward the sky.
“I talked with dad about it and he want me to tell you that if you’re worried about what might happen between you to tell you that it just going to be intercourse no oral or anything other like that.” I nodded
I was lying on the bed still wondering if I was ready with Sherry lying beside me. I heard Mr. Clearwater enter his room and turned looking at the wall that separated us from him. “You know you don’t have to if you not ready.” I looked at her and nodded “but I feel that I am.” She smiled and set up. “Do you want to be with him.” I hesitated only a second before nodding. She pulled my sports bra and short off then my panties. She kissed me and I set up and again looked at the wall. “Are you sure?” I nodded and she walked me to his door.
I could see that his lights where on she opened it and led me in. He was sitting on his bed with the cover pulled up to his bare chest. He smiled at me and watched as I walked over to his bed. “Are you sure about this Becky?” I again nodded and he pulled me to him on the bed and hugged me. “If you want to stop at any time say so and don’t hold it in. if you feel that it need to stop tell me.” I nodded and he laid me on back beside him and reached over and pulled out a condom from his drawer and I laughed. “That not need, I can’t get pregnant and I just had an STD test so I am clean.” He nodded and replaced it back in the drawer.
I looked down at the feet of the bed and looked into Sherry eyes. Then turned my eyes to his as Mr. Clearwater rolled over on top of me. I closed my eyes for a moment then opened them again and found him smile at me. I returned “ready.” He nodded and I felt him against my crotch. I took a breath and felt as he pushed in me and I grunted in pain. “You ok.” I nodded “You’re big then him.” I laughed and he did to as I felt his hips smash mine.
He pulled back and I watch as he smiled again and I felt him push back. He speed picked up and I was slowly moaning and I was shock at how fast I started like what I felt. Before long I was moving my hip to meet his stroke and my moans increased. I wrapped my arms around his shoulder and his hands moved up my side. It was long before I cry out as an orgasm rid my body motionless and I felt him picking up speed until I felt his cock swell and he flood my insides with his cum and it triggered another orgasm in me.
He pulled off of me and laid back beside me. Than I woke in the morning having must have fallen asleep after it had happen. I was still in his room naked and I found some of my clothes on the bed along with my crutches. I got dress and walked into the kitchen and found a note on the bar.
You fall asleep after it happen and I didn’t want to wake you. I hope it wasn’t too hard but I think you did enjoy yourself a little and I glad I could help. If you ever want to do it again I would like to a well. It was next not to use a condom and I hope you don’t mind me saying that. We all sleep in the same bed and you didn’t have a nightmare well we were asleep. See you when I get home later.
I smiled as I laid the not down. I wouldn’t mind feel like that again but I still want to be with sherry and make love to her. I wasn’t upset about not having kids anymore either and I felt relaxed for the first time in a long time.