Joe rescues a Ukrainian teenager from Russian mobsters
“Crack” at 2390 feet per second my Hornaday 30-30 caliber round broke the sound barrier travelin’ toward my target. I set it up at 100 yards and I’m sightin’ in my rifle; I’m shootin’ a Marlin 336 lever action with a Weaver V3 scope that’s on a Leupold quick release mount. Now I like that mount, easy to store, easy to clean and, for a close shot I can get it off and go to my iron sight real fast. My pattern’s lookin’ pretty tight, 1 ½ inches, so I guess I’m sighted in.
My name’s Will Forester but nobody but my bill collectors call me that, I write human interest and outdoor stories, my pen name’s Joe on the Road. I’m writin’ an article for a Florida huntin’ and fishin’ magazine and tomorrow I’m gonna do a little research, me and Mutt, Mutt’s my dog, we’re goin deer huntin’.
Back at the house I clean my rifle and stow it in my gun case, dinner’s ‘bout ready and so am I, we’re havin’ fried catfish, hushpuppies, home fries with some onions and green peppers and Cassie, that’s my wife, she’s made a pawpaw puddin’ for dessert, there’s a couple of pawpaw trees on my land, Kari, Cassie’s daughter picked them.
Cassie and Kari, now that’s a story; I found them out in Missouri, I was just drivin’ lookin’ for stories, rural folks, small towns, like that. Kari popped up in the middle of the road, I stopped and she said some bikers had just killed her daddy and were after her. So, anyhow we went and got Cassie and I brought them home with me. I reckon they’re here to stay, I married Cassie six months ago, she’s a fine woman and I’m happy.
Kari’s a good kid, too. She’s fifteen, just had a birthday, and after some finaglin’ we got her in school, she’s in the tenth grade. She’s a big help to her Momma, Kari does most of the cleanin’ Cassie does the cookin’; now, I gotta warn you, Kari’s got some hot panties but, maybe I aughta save that information.
After that great southern dinner me and Mutt went for a walk, I needed the exercise, my britches are getting’ a little tight from Cassie’s cookin’ and Mutt, well he just likes to be with me. Old Mutt wandered onto my land, I got two acres on a no name blackwater creek, anyhow I fed him and he stayed, he was just a pup then so I trained him. Now he’s full grown, I’d guess him to be around half pit bull and the other half, your guess is as good as mine, he’s sixty-five pounds and if I give him his “GO” command he’s all teeth and meanness.
When we got back to the house, our house is four rooms, my bedroom, a guest bedroom, an eatin’ and livin’ room and a bathroom, there’s a loft up above where Kari sleeps, Cassie was in the livin’ room watchin’ TV an’ Kari was up in her loft; she came down when she heard me come in.
“Hey Joe, can we go night fishin’, she asked.
I looked over at Cassie.
“Why don’t you go on ahead, I think she needs it, it’s been a while.”
“Ok, Baby, go ahead and get your stuff, I’ll meet you at the boat.”
I got my .22, called Mutt and went down to the dock. My boat’s a 16 foot John boat with a 15 horsepower Evinrude. I started up the engine and idled, waitin’ for Kari.
She was carrin’ a little bag and two pillows, she tossed them in the boat and climbed in.
“What’s the pillows for,” I asked.
“To sit on, I don’t want my butt to get sore,” she said, then she grinned a sly little grin.
Well at least I knew what she wanted.
I need to tell you a bit about Kari, she heard her daddy get shot and the bikers that shot him were probably still lookin’ for Kari, they saw her run away and chased her but I got her first. Now, murder, that’s a serious crime but, truth be told them boys maybe aught get a civic commendation for killin’ old Denny, I never knew him but the girls told me about him.
Denny was a meth cooker and it seems he shorted a biker gang on a sale, that’s what got him shot but he must’ve been a real bastard. He beat Cassie with an electric cord so bad her back was still a mass of scars but what he done to Kari really was worse. He raped her when she was ten years old then just kept on doin’ it. Knocked her up when she was twelve, the old woman he hired to do an abortion got the baby out alright, she screwed it up and got all the babies out, Kari can’t have no kids, but he did leave her with a cravin’ for cock.
Her Momma knows it, she knows ‘bout Kari and me, too. Fact she encourages me, says someone’s gonna take care of her needs, she’d rather it be me, so Kari and I get together every once in a while and tonight’s one of them. That’s what Cassie was tellin’ me when she said “I think she needs it.”
I tie up the boat under the stand of water oaks; Mutt jumps out and starts sniffin’ ‘round for squirrels and such. Then I give Kari a hand, she’s got her bag, I toss her the pillows and get my old blanket out of the storage compartment.
On the bank I spread out the blanket an Kari tosses the pillows down. We lay down beside each other; I take her in my arms.
“What’s wrong Baby,” I ask, there’s usually something bugging her when she wants to “go fishin’.”
“I dunno Joe, I’m feelin’ kinda sad, some of the kids at make fun of me, the way I talk and all.”
Kari did have an Ozark twang; she’d lose it but not overnight.
“An they call me a Hillbilly; Joe, I ain’t no Hillbilly an I know more about life than any of them.”
I thought, at least the sordid side of life, I said,
“Baby, what makes you happy.”
“You do Joe, you make me happy.”
Then she crawled atop of me and kissed me, a real wet tongue swappin’ kiss.
“Joe, take my top off, please Joe, I want you to touch my titties.”
She was wearin’ a Tee-shirt and a pair of shorts; I lifted the top over her head. She didn’t have a bra on, her breasts were small, maybe 34B’s but they were firm, pretty.
We kissed while I fondled her, twistin’ her nipples, tuggin’ on them then I kissed down her chest and took one in my mouth, a hard little gum drop, I sucked in it , rolled it around with my tongue then swapped, givin’ them both my royal treatment.
I started kissin’ down her body; I had one hand rubbin’ her through her shorts. I unfastened the gripper and pulled the zipper down,
“Let me get these off, lift your hips.”
I left her panties on, I liked to be right down there when I took them off, sorta like unwrappin’ a Christmas present.
I kissed her tummy then came on down to the elastic in her panties, I pulled then down real slow, first her strawberry blonde curls came into view, I nuzzled her there then took her panties clear off.
I opened her lips, she was dark pink, I lowered my face, first I inhaled, sweet scent of an aroused young woman then I tasted her, light citrus flavor.
With my lips I gently tugged on her labia and let my tongue explore between her inner and outed lips, first one side then the other. I started up by her clit and licked down her vulva, at the end I gave tight rosebud a rim job then I started back up, slowly snaking up, I dipped my tongue in her vagina, pumped it a couple of times then moved up to the clit. In the low light it shone, glistening; I took it between my lips and sucked her in. While I sucked, the tip of my tongue was flickin’ that pearl, battin’ it, feathery touches.
Kari started shakin’, she was about ready, I sucked a little harder, flicked a little faster, and the tremors started. Kari’s orgasms were a thing to behold, her tummy rippled like a wash board an everything got taut, then the contractions followed, her vagina spewed out her love juices, there’d be four of five gushes, there was, Kari wailed out, “Oooooo God Joe, yessssss, yessssss, oh, oh, oh,” she’d wail then pant.
I got my tongue down there to her vagina, licked up all of her sweetness, while she panted.
When she got settled down she said, “Sit up Joe.”
I sat up, she took my pillow and put on top of hers and picked up her little bag.
As she crawled across my lap she took a tube out of the bag and handed it to me, “Get me ready Joe.”
I’d introduced to Kari to anal sex four or five months ago; she loved it from the first time. Now I’m fair sized, a fat eight inches and then she was only a fourteen year old girl then, I knew it had to hurt her. I think she likes a little pain, maybe she equates sex and pain after the way her daddy’d treated her, I don’t know, I’m not a psychologist, but I do know she likes it. When we’d first done it I’d used Vaseline from my first aid kit. Now she didn’t much like that, said afterwards was like sittin’ on a pile of grease so she bought the KY Jelly; that’s what she handed me.
She stopped, “Joe let me help ya get outta those clothes first, I want you ready when I am.”
I took off my T-shirt while she unzipped and ungripped my Levi’s then she got up, grabbed them by the legs and pulled them off. I was commando, I was undressed. She crawled back over my lap.
Kari’s got a nice bubble butt, tautly muscled and I kneaded it. She wiggled, she was anxious to get started, I put some lube on my finger and pressed against her ring ‘til she relaxed enough to let me in, I pumped a few times then squeezed a bunch right on her.
“That’s cold Joe,” she squawked.
“You’ll be thankful for it in a couple of minutes.”
“I know Joe, I know; now hurry up, I want to feel you in me.”
When I had her ready I patted her bottom.
She crawled off my lap and over the pillows, she wanted it from behind tonight; I was most happy to oblige, it was my favorite position, too.
Old John Henry, my nickname, was chompin’ at the bit, I lined him up.
“You ready Baby,” I asked.
Kari just nodded yes.
I took it slow and easy goin’ in, just nice firm pressure, kinda like waitin’ for an invitation, then her sphincters relaxed and I was in. I kept it slow and steady, just movin’ forward an inch or so then more, then more ‘til I was way up in her.
When I slid through Kari went, “Unnnnngh,” kind of a moan.
I stopped when I was in; let her rest for a few moments.
“Joe, spank me while you’re fuckin’ me, slap my ass.”
“Why would I do that Baby?”
“Cause I want you to Joe, please?”
So, I started pumpin’ and I started spankin’, I wasn’t slappin’ her real hard.
“Harder Joe, fuck me harder; spank me harder.”
I mounted her, my feet outside her knees and me way up on her; I was reaming her good and slappin’ her ass with my right hand, musta looked like a Jockey it the home stretch.
Kari was makin’ noises like I’ve not heard before, when I hammered into her she’d make a gruntin’ sound, “Ungh, ungh, ungh, and when I’d spank her she’d wail out, Yessssss.”
I got a good firm grip on her hips and went at her, jackhammerin’ her, deep thrusts, way up in her guts, then way back out then back up again. God, I love bein’ in Kari, her bottom’s the tightest I’ve ever been in, I even like the smell, when she’s opened up in back like now, there’s an earthy musky odor, I think Mother Earth and, least to me, that adds to her femininity, I love her and not like a step-daughter, more like a junior wife.
Kari’s startin’ to quiver, I think my God, she’s gonna cum just from anal sex and a spankin’, usually I play with her clit to help her along but between fuckin’ her and spankin’ her I didn’t have a free hand.
Her contractions are startin’ I pound her hard a few more times then grab hold and pull her back on me while I power forward, clear up in her rectum, deep in her bowels, John Henry spits, spits hell, he spews, I’m pourin’ gush after gush of my hot jizz way up in her and she’s flowin’ so much it’s runnin’ down the insides or her thighs.
Kari sorta collapsed on the pillows, I’m still in her, I stroke out drainin’ the last, I was getting’ soft but I was still in her, kinda restin’ on her an I hear her cryin’, little bitty sobs, still she’s cryin’, I rub her back and down along her sides.
“What’s the matter Baby,” I ask.
Snifflin’ and tryin’ to catch her breath Kari says, “Nothin’ Joe, nothin’s wrong at all, I’m just happy.”
I got off and leaned over the pillow so I could see her face, she turned toward me and gave me a smile; her eyes were teary, glistening in the moonlight, “I’m so happy I had to cry, not sadness, girl stuff, emotions.”
“Ok,” I said, not really understanding. I mean if you’re gonna make me cry you gotta kick me in the balls or some such; must be like she’d said, “girl stuff.”
“Will you hold me for a little while Joe?”
I sat with my back against the pillows and she crawled on my lap, like a little girl, she wanted to be held and comforted, I was there for her, I love her.
We sat in silence for better than thirty minutes, not a word from either of us. I stroked her pretty strawberry blonde hair and caressed her body, she sniffled a few times then I didn’t hear her but her eyes were still leakin’, I could feel her tears on my chest.
She spoke first, woman or teenager, sometimes I didn’t know which I was dealing with, I think she was teenager right now otherwise how could she go from emotions and tears to,
“You suppose you’ll get a deer tomorrow; I’d sure like a venison roast for thanksgiving instead of a turkey.”
“I hope so, I’m gonna give it my best shot.
“You ready to head back yet Baby?”
“I guess so Joe; I’m gonna be glad I brought those pillows, I’m sore back there, I’m gonna sit on them.”
She pulled her panties back on then her shorts and her top then gathered up her bag and the pillows and tossed them in the boat, I folded the blanket and whistled, “Come on Mutt.”
He was in the boat before me.
Kari was sittin’ on the pillows, “I feel all squishy down there Joe, sore and squishy.”
“Well, I reckon you aughta.”
“Yep, suppose so.”
And that was the gist of our conversation on the ride back.
When we got back I got to the bathroom first, I washed John Henry off, Cassie and me would probably have one for the road ‘fore I went huntin’.
Cassie was still in the livin’ room, the TV was still on but when I came out she turned it off and asked if I’d like to have a drink and walk down to the dock to sit a spell.
That means she wants to have a chat, my only answer can be Jack and water or Vodka and grapefruit dependin’ on my taste buds that night, “No Honey” is not an option; she brought my Jack with her, she was gonna sip a little wine.
She set the drinks on the table we’ve got down there then gave me a big old hug and a kiss, she’s my woman and I love her dearly and I know she loves me, too. First time I saw Cassie, that was back in Missouri, I thought she was about forty, she was bone skinny and kinda scraggly lookin’, but I gotta tell you, she fattened up real nice, her own fantastic country cookin’ and, I think, old Joe’s lovin’, that girl blossomed like a rose. She’s a real pretty woman and she damned sure fooled me, she ain’t but twenty-nine. I’m thirty-six but we still wanta make us a baby, we work real hard at it. Now I know about basal temperatures and all that, we figured if we just went ahead and done it every day we could we’d get lucky; nothin’ yet but we’ll keep tryin’, we both like tryin’.
Anyhow she gave me that kiss and licked her lips after.
“Joe Sugar, she calls me Sugar ‘cause I’m so sweet, that kiss tasted like a cross between tangerines and anchovies, what in the hell is that?”
“And if I give John Henry a little “goodnight kiss” what’s he gonna taste like?”
“Soap, Dial soap.”
“So you washed ol’ John but you ain’t took a shower yet, how come?”
“Ah Cassie, I didn’t want, you know, something to happen with you.”
The damned woman missed her calling, she should have been an interrogator, she already knew what we’d done.
“So Joe, you ate her pussy then butt fucked her, am I right?”
“Well, I spanked her too, only ‘cause she wanted it though.”
“Cassie, she made me worried about her tonight, Kari’s a good girl and I thought she was happy here on the creek but she’s disturbed about some things at school and I think there’s something maybe a little wrong, she wanted pain tonight, she wanted me to fuck her socks off and she wanted me to spank her while we were doin’ it. After, she cried. I asked her what the matter was she said nothin’, that she was happy, that they was tears of joy, but truth Cassie, I’m a bit worried.”
“Me to Joe, and maybe she did need tonight, a little pain, a lotta pleasure and a strong man’s chest to cry on. I’m glad you were there for her but I’m a little worried, too. I think a lot of it’s she ain’t got no friends, now I don’t mean you and me, we both love her, I mean some fifteen, sixteen year old girl she can have her girly talks and secrets with. Joe, sometimes we forget she ain’t but fifteen.”
Tryin’ to lighten the mood I said, “Hey I’m goin’ huntin’ tomorrow, might be I can bag one of those, you know a buddy for her.”
Keep your mouth shut Joe and your thoughts to your self I said to me later.
Cassie just chuckled, “Joe just get a deer, Kari and me want a venison roast for Thanksgiving.”
We walked back up to the house and went to our bedroom, Cassie let me know I was gonna get a bit of a workout, she’s scarred pretty bad, mostly she keeps her nightie on even when we have sex, her scars are an embarrassment to her. When she takes her top off it’s no holds barred, she wants me to love her, all of her, I can touch her back, let my hands run over the stippling that cord left, and I call her my pretty baby, my poor, poor baby and I promise no one will ever hurt her again, and I mean it, ole Joe on the Road’s a writer, he’s also an, I started to say ex-Marine but there ain’t no such thing, I’m a Marine that ain’t on active duty.
Now ya’ll know I’m goin’ huntin tomorrow with my Marlin 336 and you also know that I stowed it in my gun safe; there’s a few other sporting arms up there, too.
When he retired and sold his practice; my Daddy’s a surgeon and so’s my brother, my sister’s an English professor at FSU, anyhow when Daddy sold his practice he set me up with a little trust fund, gave me the deed to my house; it was his get-away fishin’ lodge and he gave me his guns. He don’t fish and he don’t hunt no more, he lives in a luxury condo on the Gulf and he plays golf.
So anyhow, I’ve got me some fine weapons up there: everything from the Holland& Holland 700 Nitro Express that daddy gave me, he never fired it and I ain’t either, I’m not cruisin’ for a broken shoulder, to me first little .22 single shot. Daddy gave me a fine old J. Purdy twelve bore, gold inlays, over and under shot gun, an expensive gun. I prefer my old Stevens 12 gage, 36 inch barrel, full choke, with 3 ¼ magnums for ducks, I kinda think of it as my “reach out and touch somebody” shot gun, but tomorrow the white tails gonna have to deal with my Marlin 336 and Mutt and me are ready.
Cassie’s waiting for me in the bed. Her top’s off, her back’s bare, she wants my lovin’ tonight and she wants to give me hers, she’s a fantastic woman and a fantastic lover, I’ll never deny her.
I slide in beside her, like I expect, she’s naked down to her panties, they’re still on; she’s the one I that gave me that line I said about Kari earlier, I get to take them off, just like unwrappin’ a Christmas present, She told my that down by the water oaks when she gave me her last virginity. That’s when I knew I loved her and that’s when I proposed; best thing I’ve ever done.
Anyhow, much as I shouldn’t say it, pussy’s pretty much pussy; now don’t hold it against me, both my gals, Cassie and Kari are world class but Kari’s got the tightest little bottom I’ve ever been in, she’d first in that category hands down and Cassie, well, I truly do believe she could suck a golf ball through a garden hose, I mean, I’ve never had anything even close, it’s first place and…
“Oh, yes Honey, damn, ooooooooh yessssss,” she’s bobbin’ on me then down her throat I go, John Henry’s eight inches, Cassie’s got him all the way down her throat and she’s makin’ those little hummin’ things with her throat I’m swellin’ I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum; and she stops. She stops and looks up at me and grins, “John Henry real, real hungry now?”
“Witch, vile, evil wicked witch,” is my reply.
She knows I don’t mean it but I didn’t really expect what she did next. She straddled me and, yes, John Henry wanted to feed, but she just pulled the crotch of her panties to the side and took me in her. She’d done this before and we’d talked about it, it tended to chafe me, her panties against my cock but she felt like if she kept her panties on it would hold more of my cum in her; we were tryin’ to make us a baby.
She pulled her panty aside, she was astride me, cowgirl, my least favorite position, everything I don’t like, chaffing panty, her on top and I was in heaven, her mouth, her pussy, God, she’s slowly posting on me, really letting me feel her, all the way up, only the tip stays in, all the way down, Oh God, her labia open, she envelopes my balls, she’s so hot, her red flesh, covering me, then she begins to ride, up and down, pounding against my groin as she slams me, and up, almost clear, eight inches that she can eject, eight inches that she can ride, she slams down again, I’m ready, Oh God, I’m ready, I want to give her something those panties can keep in, I want that baby, too; but right now I want Cassie. She’ s quivering, shaking on John Henry and then I’m flooded, her vagina goes into full flood mode, her contractions squeeze me more and squeeze more out, she’s flooding me but, more important to the two of us, I’m spewing into her, I think, damn, tryin’ to make a baby’s fun. I thought we’d rest, lay in each other’s arms, you know, but instead, I felt like I was UPS special deliveries division.
When I rolled off Cassie pulled her panties so they covered her, she thought it kept more in her, gave me a quick little kiss, I held her and we both went to sleep.
When I got up Cassie was already in the kitchen, sausage gravy, biscuits an eggs, washed down with coffee then she handed me a bag with a couple of sandwiches for later and filled up a thermos with more coffee.
I got my rifle, my .22 revolver and my cell phone and my Tampa Buccaneers hat, yeah, I’m a Dolphin fan but Tampa’s hat’s red and I wanted red for huntin’, I whistled for Mutt.
As I pulled off my sand road onto the blacktop I was already hummin’ Willie Nelson’s “On the Road Again,” I use to hum that tune whenever I set out lookin’ for stories. We weren’t goin’ all that far, ‘bout 20 miles. A buddy of mine had a hundred acres that I was gonna hunt. Nothin’ on it but a burned out old farm house but there were stands of oak, plenty of acorns and he’d seeded the fields with millet, perfect forage for deer and turkeys, I figured I’d get a shot or two.
I pulled off the road and parked up under a stand of trees, out of sight of the road, no sense invitin’ some soul to break in and Mutt and me started to hunt. He was out front with me followin’, we’d been at it about an hour, he’d kicked up a couple of coveys of quail but no deer.
Mutt heard it first, he stopped and cocked his ears then I heard, it was a woman screamin’, it sounded like it was comin’ from over by the that burned old farm house, we both set out at a run.
She was screamin’, “Kneeeeee, kneeeee, kneeee,” I figured she musta blowed out a knee somehow and was in a lotta pain; then we heard a shot.
There was a little rise out about a hundred yards from that derelict, when I came atop I stopped; there was four guys, a Mercedes and a big Chevy Suburban down there, I yelled,
“What the hells goin’ on?” I didn’t see a woman.
Now, if they’d just got in their vehicles and left I wouldn’t have given them no trouble but two of them pulled automatic pistols and started poppin away at old Joe.
I dropped behind that little rise and ordered Mutt down, they was still shootin’.
Now a hundred yards is quite a shot with a nine millimeter pistol but nothin’ for my Marlin. I sighted in on the windshield of the Mercedes and loosed a round.
Yeah, I shot the car not the guys, I liked being Joe on the Road, Joe in Raiford; that’s the Florida state prison, held no appeal, so I shot the car.
Instead of takin’ off like I hoped three of them ducked behind the Suburban but the forth guy came runnin’ my way; he was bobbin’ and weavin’ like a Dolphin’s kick runner and he was firin’ a funny lookin’ gun, best I could tell it was a 9mm pistol but it had a butt stock and he was firin’ full automatic, the damned thing was a machine gun and he was coming a bit to close for comfort. I fired and missed then missed again, the way he was jukin’ and all, I couldn’t keep him in my scope.
Real thankful that I’d got it, I popped the quick release levers, dropped the scope off and took aim through the iron sights, he was ‘bout sixty yards out and still coming, he was a big blonde, a muscle man, a bodyguard I guessed. I took him high, in the right shoulder and he went down.
Two of them jumped in the Mercedes and squalled out like a bat outta hell, but the other guy was peekin’ over the hood of the Suburban, he still had his automatic out but he wasn’t shootin’, neither was I, Texas standoff.
The big guy I’d shot was screamin’, I imagine for help, I couldn’t understand his words but the other guy did.
I had to give it to him, he had guts, he got in, started the Suburban and drove up, put that big vehicle between me and them and loaded his partner in the back seat. I wanted to send them on their way, I wasn’t gonna shoot either one of them if I didn’t have to and I damned wasn’t gonna shoot out a tire, I wanted them gone, I put a round through the side window toward the back. They got outta there quick.
Me and Mutt just laid there for a while, I used my scope like a telescope, cranked to 3x power, I scanned the woods, still we waited, maybe thirty minutes; nothing moved. I remounted the scope and we walked down.
I went to where the big guy had fallen, there was plenty of blood on the ground, his weapon was there, too. I picked it up. A strange thing, it was, in fact a 9mm pistol but a wooden butt hooked up to it, there was writing on it, I couldn’t read it, though I recognized it as Cyrillic, probably Russian.
Over by the foundation of the old house Mutt set to barkin’, I went over to see what he’d found.
He was standin’ over an old well, barkin’ his fool head off, the well’d been boarded over but the boards were tossed aside; I took a look down.
I’d found the source of the screams. There was a body at the bottom, maybe twenty feet down and it looked to be female; I couldn’t tell if she was dead or what. There was no way for me to get down to her, it was an old oaken bucket sorta well, the casing was stones.
I had a rope in the truck, I left my rifle and the 9mm, I still had my .22 in my holster, put Mutt on alert to guard the stuff and took off at a run.
I drove back, didn’t really want to, if they’d hung around they’d see it and know I drove a red Cherokee but somebody needed help.
There’s a winch on my front bumper, handy if I get stuck I can pull myself out. I tied the rope off to the winch and climbed down. It was a gal, she had on one high heel, a black tight skirt slit up one leg damned near to her crotch and what had been a white blouse; it was red now, blood.
I felt her neck, there was a pulse, she was alive. I formed a loop in the rope and slipped it under her arms. When I moved her she opened her eyes.
“Don’t worry gal, Joe’s here, I’ll get you to the hospital.”
She looked up at me, terror, sheer terror is what I saw, “No, no hospital, no police, no hospital.” She had an accent but I could understand her fine.
I thought, girl dressed like she was goin’ out on a date, four guys with guns that didn’t hesitate to shoot and her down a well; what the hell was goin’ on. I guess I’ll have to take her home, find out what we could do. I climbed the rope.
Up top I used the winch to pull her up, when she got to the top, I lifted her over the lip, she’d passed out again, I put her across the back seat, recoiled the rope and tossed it and the guns in the back. Mutt jumped in, passenger seat, his seat and we headed home.
When I pulled up to the house Kari came runnin’ out, “You get a deer Joe.”
“Nope, I got me a redhead; get Cassie for me, would ya?”
She looked at me strangely, “Did you say you got a redhead?”
“Yeah, that’s what I got, now get Cassie, I need a hand.”
By the time Cassie got there I was liftin’ the gal outta my back seat.
Cassie took one look and yelled, “Kari put some towels on the bed in the guest room.”
“Joe, take her in there, I’ll be there in a minute.”
I’d laid her on the towels, Cassie came in with our big home first aid kit, set it down and said, “Let’s take a look, see how bad she is.”
She was still bleedin’ up by her left arm; Cassie took a pair of shears and cut off her blouse then for good measure cut off her bra. She had a puncture wound in the flesh under her arm, it was still oozing blood, Cassie’d brought some water she’d already boiled, she wiped the wound.
“Joe, I believe that’s from a gun shot, check her other side.”
“Yep, look here, another puncture.” Cassie washed that one too.
It looked like a piece of red cloth was in this wound. Cassie used the hemostats and pulled it out, it was a little piece of the gal’s blouse.
“Joe, ‘bout all we can do is put some antiseptic cream on these and tape on some gauze.”
After she’d done that she asked, “Joe how come you brought her here, this little gal needs a hospital.”
I told her what I knew, which wasn’t all that much, then told her how scared she was when I mentioned the hospital.
“Cassie, all them guys had guns, hell one of them had a machine gun; that’s the one I shot, the gun’s out in the truck.”
“Well I’m worried about infection, she needs some antibiotics, but I reckon we’ll get to that later; let’s see if she’s hurt anywhere else.”
Cassie took off the one high heel and felt her feet.
“I don’t think anything’s broke but this left one’s swollen up, probably sprained.”
“Let’s get her skirt off.”
I unfastened it and unzipped it, Cassie pulled it off.
The gal had nice legs, shapely though there were some cuts and scratches.
“They must have flung her down that well; probably got these bouncin’ off the walls when she fell.”
Cassie swabbed them with sterile wipes, cleaned them up then said, “Well get them off too.”
She was talkin’ ‘bout her panties; skimpy sexy things, a purple thong with a little pink bow sewed on the top. I rolled them down, tugged them under her hips and took them off; yep she really was a redhead, all the way down.
Cassie gave me the job she knew I was pretty fair at; getting’ a girl outta her panties I mean, then she took over.
“Can you turn her; let me get a look at her back.”
I rolled her on her side, there was more of the scrapes and scratches but nothing serious, Cassie swabbed them.
“Lay a couple a pillows up there and let’s get her propped up a little, get the wound above her heart; it’ll help with the bleeding.” While I positioned her, Cassie got a blanket and tucked her in.
“Well Joe, we’ve done all we can do for her, now all we gotta worry about are shock and infection; still wish we had some antibiotics.”
“Come on, there’s coffee made, let’s have a cup.” She said.
An idea struck me, I didn’t know if he’d do it; “Let me make a phone call first, I’ll only be a minute of two,” I got my cell phone and dialed.
I got lucky, it was raining in Naples, he wasn’t out golfing. I mentioned my Daddy was a retired surgeon, I wanted his help.
He answered, “Hi Daddy, this is Will, yeah to the folks I’m still Will, Daddy I need your help.” I told him as much of the story that he needed to know.
“Will, I’ll get a “care package” out UPS right away; just forget where it came from, ok?”
“Thank you Daddy, kiss Mom for me.”
Cassie’d already poured my coffee, “You’ll have the antibiotics tomorrow mornin’,” I told her.
“Joe, who’d you call?”
Ten-thirty sharp that brown UPS truck came up my sand road, I signed for a small box.
We opened it on the kitchen table; there were four vials and a bottle of pills and four throw away syringes along with a note.
Will, I’ve labeled things, first thing, give her a tetanus shot and one of the 500 mg amoxicillin injections then eight hours later give her another shot, she gets the last one eight hours after that; shoot her in the butt. That gets her through one day. The pills are also 500 mg amoxicillin, give her one every twelve hours until they’re finished, that will be a week, there’s fourteen pills. Call me if you need anything, Love Dad, p.s. Mom sends that kiss back, and says, come down and visit soon.
Cassie filled two of the syringes, “Roll her up on her side so I can give her these.”
When we were done I finally had the time to get the guns out of the Cherokee, I cleaned and oiled my Marlin and put it in my gun safe. The other one intrigued me, I went to my computer.
The thing was a 9mm automatic pistol but not like any I’d seen before, it was bigger and heavier, its magazine held twenty rounds and I knew from experience it could fire full automatic, like a machine gun. Its stock was detachable.
I brought up Google and typed in the Cyrillic words then instructed it to translate.
It was Russian; it said Stechin APS 9 mm, I Googled the gun.
It was manufactured in the Soviet Union for tankers but it was uncomfortable to carry, the wooden stock, when it was detached doubled as the holster for the gun, then, I saw that maybe I was a little lucky, it had an effective range of 200 meters; that’s a hell of a lot further that the hundred yards we were apart by; runnin and shootin’ probably was why he missed, ‘course if he’d of stopped I’d a had him in my scope so maybe it worked out like it was supposed to.
I’d pitched the .357 I’d taken from a biker in Missouri, it was at the bottom of Blackwater Creek; but this one I was gonna keep.
Kari had been MIA since breakfast, I wondered where she’d gotten off to, I stuck my head into the guest room to check on our guest and found her. She had a chair pulled up to the bed and she was talkin’ to the girl.
She still looked pretty rough but at least she was awake. She was sittin’ propped up by the pillows chattin’ with Kari.
“Hey girl, you’re awake, how you feelin’? I asked.
Kari piped up, “Her name’s Tish Joe, she’s Tish.”
“Well hello Tish, it’s good to meet ya, how you feelin’?”
“You are Joe? My name is Natasha Pavlichenko, but please call me Tish, I like it better. To answer your question, I’m in some pain, my arm hurts where he shot me and some of the places I am scratched itch but I will be ok.”
“Joe, you’re not gonna believe her story,” Kari added.
“Yes, I will tell you my story but first Joe I want to thank you, I think I would be dead without your help.”
“Oh Tish, I didn’t do all that much, my dog Mutt found you and Cassie, Kari’s Momma’s the one that fixed you up. “Bout your story, why not save the tellin’ ‘til we can all get together, if you feel up to it, we can talk around the dinner table.”
“Yes Joe, I will wait.”
“Well, you gals take care; I’ve got some things I need to do.”
“Joe do you have something I may wear, I have to get up, I need to use the bathroom.”
Kari, get her one of Cassie’s housecoats and help her, I think maybe she’s got a sprained ankle.
Kari got the robe but I’d already left the room, givin’ the gal a bit of privacy.
First thing I needed to do was get to my computer and start writin’, I thought this was gonna be a story I could sell; I didn’t know the half of it.
I found Cassie in the kitchen, she was stewin’ a chicken, we were havin’ chicken and dumplin’s tonight, yum. I told her that Tish was awake and that Kari was in there talkin’ to her, told her that we’d hear Tish’s tale tonight over dinner.
“Joe, this old hen’s gonna have to simmer for around two and a half maybe three hours, I can get Kari to check on it, I feel like doin’ a little fishin’ myself,” as she gave John Henry a honk and me a grin.
“I’ll grab a few beers, you tell Kari and get your stuff, I’ll meet you at the boat.”
I didn’t bother with rods, when I asked the gals to go fishin’ I took the poles and bait, but when the gals asked me to go fishin’ I took the gal. Old Joe was gonna get a ride, a nice tight ride.
We motored up under the water oaks, I got the cooler and the blanket; Cassie took her little bag, like Kari’s, held the same thing, too.
I spread out the blanket and opened two of the beers, Cassie was sittin’, I sat beside her, handing her a drink.
We were watching the lazy flow of the creek, Cassie said, “Been a while since we’ve been up her Joe and I’ve kinda missed it, but tryin’ to make a baby and all, well we’ve been so darn serious about that that we’re forgettin’ to have some fun, ya know?”
“Honey, tryin’ to make a baby with you is fun.”
“Oh, I know Joe, I like it too but a gal and a guy, there’s got to be a little spice.”
“I was sittin’ there in the chair, cookin’ that old hen when I commenced to squrmin’ I felt empty and itchy in the back of my panties, down in my bottom, like somethin’ was missin’, right then I decided I wanted to go fishin’.”
“Joe, Kari’s taste, do I taste like tangerines and anchovies?”
“No, you’re more like melons and mackerel,” I jibed, “But your bottoms smell pretty much alike, earthy, and musky, I call it Mother Earth.”
“Well this Mother Earth wants some excavation work done on her,” she said.
She stood and pulled my shirt over my head, “Get your jeans off Joe.”
Cassie kicked off her sandals, pulled her top over her head and unclasped her bra, damn I thought, her titties look nice. When I first met her they were like empty sacks, they were nice 36’s now, just a little sag but still nice, she dropped her shorts and stepped out.
I was out of my Levi’s and sitting back on the blanket, she came down and crawled over me, “Wanta unwrap your present?” she grinned at me.
I thought I’d tease her a little; I started kneading her cheeks through her panties. I slipped my hand on down, cupping her and running my finger along her slit; the thin fabric was getting wet, I went back to squeezing her cheeks.
She shook her ass at me and threatened to bite me if I didn’t quit messin’. John Henry was the closest thing to bite, I decided against the risk. I rolled her panties down, exposing her bottom then tugged them from under her and down off her feet.
“Nice ass,” I said as I gave it a pat.
She wiggled, “You don’t have to spank me, Joe, I’ll be your good girl without that, now grease me up.”
I started lubricating her; I was thinking ’bout what she’d said. She sure was my good girl, I still found it hard to believe, single and happy that way for thirty-six years then, in just a few weeks I’d fallen for this scraggly country gal from Missouri. Oh she wasn’t scraggly no more, she was full and lush, loveable and comfortable, she was my companion and my lover; she was my wife.
I gave her a little pat, she was ready. She got off my lap, lay with her chest on the blanket, pulled her knees under her and rose.
I got in close behind her and with a hand on each cheek I opened her, John Henry nuzzled up to her tight ring and I pressed forward, sliding in.
“Aaaaaaah,” Cassie moaned as her tightness yielded to my pressure.
I kept it slow but I kept it steady ‘til I was up in her all the way then I started to stroke her, I was takin’ long slow strokes, almost out then deep inside, giving her that fullness, wanting her to feel stuffed, then out, then back, a rhythmic motion, forcing my way deep into her bowels. I picked up a little speed, used a bit more power getting Cassie to groan a little when I was way up there.
“Ungh, breathe on the out stroke, ungh, back in, ungh…ungh…ungh,” Cassie was pantin’ with the effort of takin’ John Henry way up in her. I decided to give her a little help.
I reached under her and gave her a couple a fingers to ride, feelin’ her clit, lettin’ her slide along them; she started pushin’ back and forth, lettin’ my fingers do their thing.
Cassie arched her back, she was breathin’ hard, “Oh God Joe, oh God, oh God, Jooooe,” she groaned out, she was cummin’, me, too, I got hold of her hips and pushed way deep, spurtin’ in her, Cassie collapsed down to the blanket, I rode her down, I was still pumpin’, she raised her hips just a little, helpin’ me finish.
When I was done, I just laid on her back.
“Oh wow, Joe, I needed that,” she said, then added, “Now get off, you’re heavy.”
So much for post-coital romance.
“Let’s wash off in the creek, we need to get back, I gotta finish the chicken and dumplin’s and fix the rest. You can give that gal her next shot, it’s due at five-thirty.
We jumped in the creek, a little grab ass but mostly washin’, Cassie got out; I reached over the transom of the boat and got towels out of my storage compartment. Tossed them up on the bank and got out myself.
After we’d dried off and gotten dressed we folded up the blanket and headed home.
Mutt was on the dock when we got back, suppose he was pissed ‘cause I’d left him but with just those two gals there I wanted some protection.
Cassie went to work on dinner, I got a syringe and loaded up the next dose of amoxicillin and went to the guest room.
Tish was sittin’ up in the bed and Kari was still in the chair, they seemed to be hittin’ it off real good.
Tish had on Cassie’s housecoat, I held up the syringe, “Tish, Cutie, you’re gonna have to show me your butt.”
“I am afraid I do not understand Joe.”
“Ah Tish, he wants to give you an antibiotic shot, you need to turn over.”
It dawned on me, I was gonna have to get up at one-thirty for her next one.
“Ah yes, I understand,” she lowered the sheet, rolled onto her side with her butt pointin’ my way and lifted the robe, “Shoot me Joe.”
I swabbed her with an antiseptic and stuck her.
“Ok, all done,” I said, I patted her on the hip, “You feel up to coming to the table for dinner?”
“My arm hurts but that’s really all and I’m right handed so I can use that hand with no trouble and I am very hungry, yes, I want to come to your table; besides I must tell you about how I came to be here, I must explain that having me here is not without risk, maybe big risk to all of you.”
“We want to hear all about it Cutie,” I said
“What is this Cutie?” She asked me.
“Ah that’s just me, I give all my ladies pet names, Kari here is Baby and Carrie, she’s my Honey, guess your stuck with Cutie; I’m gonna have to quit gatherin’ up gals, I’m runnin’ outta pet names.”
She gave me a quizzical look but I was on my way out of the room; let Kari explain.
Cassie was at work in the kitchen; I popped a Bud and sat at the table.
“She feels up to coming to dinner. You know, she speaks English plain enough but she talks kinda funny, like it came from a book or somethin’ and she’s got an accent, she ain’t from around here, that’s for sure.”
I helped Cassie set the table; chicken and dumplin’s, mashed potatoes, green beans and sliced tomatoes, rolls and sweet tea, we’d finish up the pawpaw puddin’ with scoops of vanilla ice cream for dessert.
Kari helped Tish to the table; she was limpin’ that was an ankle sprain and helped her sit down. We were, the foods on the table, help yourselves but Kari dished up a plate for Tish then sat beside her. We helped ourselves then dug in. Tish asked for and Kari served her seconds; on hungry girl. After we’d finished dessert and Kari’d cleared the table I asked if everyone wanted to stay at the table or go in the front room, the table won out, I think everyone wanted to be able to see everyone else’s face when Tish did her talkin’.
Kari had introduced Tish by name to Cassie when we sat down.
“Hey Cutie why were you screamin’ knee, wasn’t your knee was shot?”
“Joe I am Ukrainian, in my language he, he is the way our word is spelled but it is pronounced ne, it is no in English.
Tish started her story.
“My name is Natasha Pavlichenko and I grew up outside a small city, Uman, Ukraine, between Kiev and Odessa, I am Ukrainian and there my name is still very famous, Pavlichenko; my grandmother was Lydmila Pavlichenko, a very famous woman, she was a Red Army Major with both “The Order of Lenin” and “Hero of the Soviet Union” awarded to her for her service during the Great Patriotic War: World War Two to you I guess, she was even a friend with Mrs. Roosevelt, your President’s wife.”
Kari interrupted, “What did she do Tish?”
“Kari, she was a Red Army soldier, defending her country from the Germans, the Nazis, she was a sniper; she killed, with her Mosin Nagan rifle, she killed three hundred and nine Nazis, over one hundred officers and thirty-six snipers.”
“Wow,” Kari exclaimed, I held my opinion.
“But that, as you American’s say, that and six bucks will get you a latte at Starbucks.”
“My father died when I was little and my mother’s family was wiped out, we were poor, we lived on a collective farm not far from Uman and my mother heard that there was a man in town who was paying large amounts of money for young girls to model. She took me there and they hired me, I was ten.
And they did, they did just what they said, I was a model; there were six or seven of us, and there was a woman, she treated us nicely, she did our hair, washed it, set it, curled it, styled it in big girl styles and she put on our make-up, eye liner, lipstick, rouge; maybe giving us a bruised look, maybe tearful, whatever the cameraman wanted; but always we looked far beyond our years. They called us their little Lolita’s; we didn’t know what that meant.
First they’d start us in swimming suits, then they’d be skimpier, still swimming suits, a little more little girl, a little less fabric. You understand?”
Kari nodded yes.
She went on, “They were paying my mother twenty dollars, U.S. dollars for every hour I worked; you must understand, that is a fortune in Ukraine, just to take pictures of me, her daughter in a swimming suit.
Then they wanted me to model panties, skimpy little panties with nothing on top. There was nothing to see on top anyhow, I was, as you American’s say, flat as a board, little pimples on a flat chest. And for this Mama was paid thirty dollars per hour. They posed us in sexy poses and they made us look sexy but nothing else, nothing else. Mama could eat well, buy some things and all they wanted were some pictures.
But when I was twelve I started to grow breasts and my period came, I was becoming more mature but to them I was without worth; they went to Mama, explained what was happening, that I’d outgrown my role but they knew men in Odessa who might be able to make me a movie star, they made real movies. Mama’s Ukrainian friends introduced her to a Russian, he wanted to me; see if I was “Star Quality,” as he said.
So I posed for him, not so different that the modeling I had been doing, I posed in underwear and he liked me, told Mama I would star me in movies, he paid Mama $500.00 and she signed a contract then I got in his Mercedes, he took me to Odessa, to a house. There were nine other girls there, the house was quite large there were two of in each bedroom but the house was nice.
The man that brought me took me to meet a woman, Olga was her name, she smiled when she met me, “So Natasha, you are going to be a big star, yes?”
I was shy; I could only say “I hope so.”
“Of course you are, of course you are, dear, come, we will do screen test a little later, this evening, I will help you with your make-up and costume; come, let’s start with a bath.”
She bathed me, washed my hair and dried it; I sat under her hair dryer while she did my nails, my finger nails and my toe nails then she put on make-up, not a lot she said I didn’t need much, I was so pretty. She talked to me, she asked if I was a virgin, of course I was, I was only twelve; then she dressed me. She gave me panties, cute little panties, I didn’t need a brassiere, then my clothes, she told me that my screen test would be in a bedroom, so I was to be dressed as if I were going to bed. I’d never even seen such a lovely gown, white with lace and bows and little satin slippers. Then she gave me hot chocolate. I felt so pretty and so mellow. I know now that she gave me a drug in the cocoa, a sedative so I wouldn’t fight.
Then she said it was time to go see the set. The room had a big king size bed with stuffed animals on it, I thought it looked like a very nice room for a young girl. There were three cameras set up around the bed. She introduced me to a man, maybe eighteen or nineteen years old, he was my co-star she told me.
I was to walk into the room, they told me to look dreamy, little smile then get on the bed, on the top of the covers, a beautiful white bedspread, there my co-star would join me, we were to kiss he would hold me. It was a love story, my movie so Sergi, my co-star’s name was Sergi, we would kiss.
I walked into the room and I did feel dreamy, the drug I think, I got on the bed. Sergi came in and came to me, he had on a dressing robe, he got on the bed with me and took me in his arms.
What happened next I wasn’t expecting, Sergi took my gown off and took off his robe, he was naked under it and he was huge, maybe the biggest I’ve ever seen. I was frightened, I wanted to run but I couldn’t Sergi forced me down on the bed, he kissed me and played with my small breasts then my panties, he tried to take my panties and then I did fight, ha, I think they liked that, that I fought. Sergi held me down and ripped them from me, one of the cameras moved in for close up of me, of Sergi, to show I had very little hair and how big Sergi was, then the cameras stopped, Sergi yelled, “Get me some damned grease, I’ll never get in this one.”
He was still holding me down, someone, I couldn’t see who, put something between my legs, on me down there and the cameras started again.
Sergi was on top of me, kissing me, “My little Natasha,” he said.
He put his knee between my legs and pried them apart, he was kneeling between my legs holding me down with one hand he used the other to guide it to me, it hurt right away, he forced into me but when he tore me I screamed and I screamed and I screamed, never had I felt such pain but he did not stop he did not stop until he had ejaculated in me, no condom. He got off, picked up his robe and left.
I hurt so much I couldn’t move, I curled up in a ball and the camera moved up behind me, they could see, blood, lots of blood, on the white bedspread. I think they chose Sergi for me because he was so big, they knew he would make me bleed, they wanted the blood. They were filming the blood and Sergi’s cum leaking out of me while I cried.
When the cameras stopped Olga came for me, “Come, little one, Olga will help.”
She washed me and took me to my room.
“Rest now little one, you’ll need to be ready for your next movie in two or three days.”
I learned that loss of virginity movies are very valuable, there are men who will pay lots of money for them and, of course each girl can only do one, one real one, so they are rare.
There were ten of us, they alternated, usually two days rest then a movie. All of us had come as virgins, none of us were now. They fed us, gave us our clothes, really the treatment was not bad. They did not beat us, after all who will pay to see a bruised girl, no, they spanked if they felt we needed discipline, we were all young girls, it was enough.
If we’d worked the day before, with breakfast Olga gave us a pill, she said it was a vitamin to keep our strength, but it was not, it was Levonelle, I now know, this is a morning after pill, they did not use condoms in their movies, they wanted to show the cum, so the pill. Once in a while one of the girls would get pregnant in spite of it, then they would be given another type of pill, RU-486, the abortion pill. Not many want to see pregnant, lactating women in their fantasy films, but a few do like that, so occasionally they would let a girl stay pregnant, but they always took the baby away.
They kept me there one year, but they needed, how do you say, new blood, oh yes, they needed new blood. I was sent to the Middle East to be the plaything of rich men. Six months I was there.
I overheard my, I don’t know what to call him, he wasn’t my pimp, he owned me like a slave; anyhow I heard him talking to an Englishman, I had some English even then, mostly from television, the Englishman was negotiating to buy me. I, well my unbreakable contract, was sold for 5,000 pounds sterling.
I was kept in a house in London for over two years, it was here that I became Tish, I chose the name, I had come to hate the name Natasha, all of the girls hate the name Natasha, that is what the men call us, their little Natashas, I really was a Natasha yet I also came to hate the name. The Englishman sold me back to Russians who brought me to America.
I have been in New Jersey since then, not as nice as the house in London, rougher treatment, food not as good, the Russians are not pleasant people.
The two men in the big Suburban drove me down here from New Jersey, the men in the Mercedes, they, too were Russian, were buying me for a house in Tampa, Florida.
Too much, it was too much for me, I tried to run away, I was screaming and screaming and running, one of the men from New Jersey took out his gun and told me to stop or he would shoot me, I did not stop, he shot.
Joe, you know what happened after that better than I, the next thing I remember is waking up in the bed here with Kari sitting beside me.
But that is why I tell you that there is risk, all four of those men are Russian Mafia, they are very bad, very dangerous people.
I finished her story, told about the well, winching her out and the gunfight. When Tish learned that I’d shot one of them she cringed, “Joe they will probably come looking for us.”
The Russians would come or they wouldn’t, we couldn’t control that, all we could do was take precautions but I was interested in her homeland; all I knew about Ukraine was that Kiev was it’s capital, Odessa was a port city on the Black Sea and that the Chornobyl disaster took place there.
Tish explained, “Joe Ukraine is the largest country in Europe, the land is fertile, there is much farming and, of course we are noted for our beautiful women. But there I am a rarity, not many redheads,” she blushed and shyly went on, “I think that is why the never shaved me, down there I mean, they wanted the men to know I was a real redhead.”
I opined that we were going to have to figure out how we could get Tish some papers, make her look legal, get her in school and such.
“Joe, I have a work visa and a social security number, my card is stamped work only, but I have American papers, they are in my purse, I had it with me when I ran but no more, it is lost.”
Ah shit, I thought, her damned purse was probably at the bottom of that well.
“I guess I’m gonna to have to go back, take a look down that well, it’s probably there.”
I hated the idea, I didn’t want to go near that place, I wouldn’t hunt it again for a year or two but I had to go back.
We talked about it, Tish wanted to come with me, I nixed that, she needed rest to recover from her injuries not a bouncy ride in my Cherokee, besides, she’d be of no help once we got there. Cassie volunteered, she could operate the winch, lower me and raise me but, then I thought, Cassie could shoot, better she stay if I was gone.
Kari said, “Joe, I’ll go with you. You run the winch and I’ll go down.”
It was the best option; we’d take off the first thing in the morning, I told her to wear a pair of jeans, her denim jacket and to get some gloves, I didn’t want her all scratched up goin’ up and down over the rock casing.
In bed Cassie asked, “Worried?”
“Yeah, a little, I don’t think they’ll find us, it was over twenty miles away and they never saw my vehicle; still they are some bad actors, the Russian Mafia.”
She gave John Henry a little tug, “Want to work on that baby,” she said with a sly grin
She rolled onto her back and lifted her gown above her hips, no panties but it was still a present, just what I needed, in my lovin’ woman’s arms with John Henry buried deep.
I got on my knees, between her thighs, I felt her, trailed a finger along her vulva, she was already wet; I guided John home.
Cassie sighed when I filled her, “That’s nice Joe, so nice.”
I thought so, too, I began to stroke, faster than usual, like John Henry was in a race.
I rode her high, touching her clit with every with every thrust and I was givin’ her a lot of thrusts, “God Cassie girl I love you,” I moaned.
Her pussy felt so good, hot, wet, comforting, smooth, so smooth, I wanted to put a baby in her, my baby; I came, not with a roar, almost a whimper, “Unnnnnnnnn,” my only sound,
Cassie got hers at the same time, she arched her hips, accepting me, wanting me, “Yess Joe, yes,” I felt her slick juices, God; she was woman, my woman.
“Come here, Joe, let me hold you.”
She knew I was worried, about the Russians and, mostly having to back to the well, she stroked my hair until I fell asleep.
After breakfast Kari and I took off, I left Mutt to watch over the gals.
I usually hum On the Road again when I take off, not this morning, more than anything I wanted to be at home; this morning I was hummin’ with old Bobby Bare, Detroit City, I Wanta Go Home.
I guess hummin’ his song made me think about him, Detroit City topped the country charts but he’d started out as a pop singer, not a very successful one. One day him and his buddy, Bill Parsons were messin’ around in the studio, Bare’d written an Elvis parody, The All American Boy, he cut a demo of it. Like Elvis Bobby got drafted at about the same time. The next time he heard the song he was in basic training in Ft. Knox, Kentucky. It was his biggest pop record, hit number two in the nation and Bobby didn’t get credit for it no royalties either, it was released under Bill Parsons’ name.
I wasn’t carrin’ my .22 today, if there was trouble I wanted more than a popgun, I was strapped with my AMI Desert Eagle XIX, 10 inch barrel, .50 Action Express cartridges, 7 in the magazine and one in the pipe, I was loaded for bear; literally.
We got close, I drove around a little, checkin’ the area out; seemed ok, we got to the well.
I tied a loop in the end of the rope, hooked up to the winch and lowered Kari.
“Joe, I’ve got it, pull me back up.”
We both looked at the contents, it was Tish’s, her papers and a bunch of girl stuff were in it. I coiled the rope, tossed in the back and we got the hell outta there.
It was a couple weeks later, Cassie, Tish and me were down on the dock, Kari was in school, I was fishin’ for catfish but nothin’ seemed to be hungry for the liver I was usin’ for bait.
Tish had her work visa but she was afraid to use it for ID, if her sponsor found out they’d come for her; besides, I didn’t want her to work, I wanted her to go to school, she was sixteen, she needed an education.
Cassie was the one that suggested it, “Tish, do you want to stay here in America, do you want to stay with us?”
“Yes Cassie, I like America and I like staying here, I want to stay.”
“Joe, let’s you and me adopt her, you reckon we could.”
With all the enthusiasm I could muster I said, “Oh why the hell not.”
I already had a lawyer up in New York City, a friend of my agent’s handlin’ the paperwork for me to adopt Kari, I’d just toss one more into the mix
I thought, here’s old Joe on the Road; a year ago, fat, dumb and happy, I was cruisin’ around America, seein’ things and writin’ my stories; single with no plans to change that.
Now I was married and had three gals livin’ with me, two Ozark Hillbillies, oops, don’t even think that, them two would wear me out; two fine Missouri ladies and a Ukrainian whore. Why not, just what old Joe needed, a wife and two teenaged daughters; I loved two of them and was growin’ pretty fond of the third.
I pulled out my cell phone and called the lawyer. He told me what to send him, said it would probably take a little time, not for Kari, that was a slam dunk but Tish would take more work. He told me his price, Whooo; thank God for Daddy and my trust fund, he wanted twenty-five thousand.
I called the bank and made a wire transfer.
We decided we wouldn’t try to get Tish into school this school year, it was already half over, Christmas was just around the corner, I’d home school her, I’d use Kari’s books.
And Cassie was teachin’ her about cookin’, homemakin’, that kinda stuff, Tish couldn’t boil water; never had to, all she had to do was fuck.
When Kari was home Tish followed her around like a little puppy dog, Kari’d been there for her when she woke up and now Tish stuck to her. I like to think it was good for Tish to have a friend and I knew it was for Kari, she hadn’t needed to “go fishin” for a while; I didn’t mind, Cassie was more than enough, we were still workin’ on that baby and we was puttin’ in a hellava lot of nighttime effort.
We had a grand Christmas, we’d all bundled up and went out in my woods, cut a little slash pine, maybe not as pretty as the store bought ones, but it was ours. We traded gifts; I’d given Kari and Tish a little money for their shoppin’ so everybody got to give and get. Really, Tish received the most, along with her other gifts we’d bought her shorts, jeans, tops, a denim jacket, shoes, panties and two or three bras; Cassie took care of that shopping, Tish had mostly been wearing Kari’s stuff, she needed her own.
Then we had a big old dinner: two roasted wild turkeys, with corn bread stuffin’, mashed potatoes and turkey gravy, corn and lima beans and yeast rolls. Cassie had baked pies for dessert. I near had to be rolled away from the table, I was stuffed.
I’d shot the turkeys, Mutt and me, he’d flushed them, I shot them then called him to heel. If he got to the bird first I’d have a half et turkey, I couldn’t break him of that habit, guess he thought he deserved it more than me, anyhow, I got the birds for Christmas dinner.
I know we had an influence on Tish, she was startin’ to act like an American teenager but a funny thing happened to us, listening to her proper, British like diction Kari was losing her twang and I found my lost G’s. You know, my “Ain’t nothin’ I like better than huntin’ and fishin’,” well it was starting to sound more along the lines of, “ There’s nothing I rather do than go hunting and fishing,” my found G’s.
It was getting on toward Easter; Kari wanted to have a private conversation so we went down to the dock.
“Joe, Tish wants to go fishing with you but she’s afraid to say anything, she talks to me but she’s afraid you and Momma would toss her out if she said anything. Joe, she’s got a mighty big itch, having had it for so long, even if it was in a bordello, she misses it; just wanted you to know.”
“Thanks for the heads up Baby; by the way, it’s been a while since you asked to go fishing, what you don’t love Old Joe anymore,” I teased her
“Joe, I’m feeling good, real good right now, maybe I don’t need it as much but we’ll get back down under those water oaks soon enough.”
I waited until we were in bed before I said anything to Cassie then I told her what Kari’d said to me.
“You gonna do it Joe?”
“Honey, that’s up to you, if you don’t want me to I won’t, period, no question.”
“Joe you know me, I know you’re my man, I don’t fear you runnin’ off with some other woman, and I bet after five months without, considerin’ how she lived she’s got a bad cravin’ for it. If you want to it’s ok with me. By the way Joe, you gonna fuck her in that tight little ass of hers, she’s got a cute one, doesn’t she.”
I thought, yeah she does have a cute one, heart shaped, high and tight, she did wonders for a pair of Levi’s. That’s what I thought, what I said was,
“Joe, you lie like a…well, you lie; now let’s make that baby.”
I wanted Cassie, maybe talking about Tish had got me good and aroused but I wanted her; I wanted more that just a quickie, trying to make a baby, though.
I pulled her gown up over her head, took a moment to admire her breasts, she was swollen, her nipples rocks, she was as aroused as me; then I rolled her panties over her hips, down her legs and off her feet; I tossed them on the floor and took her in my arms.
“Cassie, Honey, you’re the love of my life,” I whispered to her then I kissed her, tongues, teeth, lips, wet, passionate. I nibbled her ear lobes and kissed down her neck to her breasts; one I massaged, playing with her nipple, the other I sucked, I ran my tongue around her areola, then took her back between my lips. They got equal attention then I lifted her breast and licked under them, tasting her salty perspiration, then down over her tummy, trailing kisses ‘til I got to her strawberry curls, I plucked at them, just my lips, gentle tugs, nuzzled her and slid on down. I skipped her clit, I’d be back, now I wanted the scent of her, a taste of her; I parted her with my tongue, her scent, a mature, womanly aroma, her taste, melon, a rich melon like a ripe cantaloupe, I moved up, sucked her engorged clitoris between my hungry lips and sucked her into my mouth. I nursed on her like a baby on a nipple, just sucking and tasting for a few minutes before I started teasing her sensitive little jewel with the tip of my tongue.
Cassie shivered then she quaked, her orgasm ripped through her, her organs clenched, uterus, anus vagina, contracted, she squirted her potion, that wonderful nectar and I sipped from her chalice, worshiping at her altar of femininity. She was still wet, wild and wonderful when I entered her, her eyes still had the dazed look that a hard climax gives but she smiled at me as I entered her, she wanted me as desperately as I wanted her.
John Henry was anxious, twenty or twenty-five strokes, the cum was rising in my balls, Cassie’s breathing was ragged, me, too, her orgasm was small, she’d just cum a bucket but not me, I spewed into her, pulse after pulse spurted I moaned, “Casssseeee, Casssseeee,” I was spent, drained. She held me in her arms; I fell asleep with my head on her breast.
I waited a couple of days, I saw Tish down on the dock, it was Saturday, I was surprised that Kari wasn’t with her, I walked down.
“Penny for your thoughts,” I said as I sat down beside her.
“What does that mean, penny for your thoughts, Joe?”
“I’m asking what you’re thinking about, you looked lost in thought.”
“I am thinking how much I like it here, I didn’t think I would, you know my life, fancy clothes, sexy lingerie, things like that, but I don’t miss it at all, I love Kari like a sister, maybe we will be if my adoption goes through, eh?”
“I talked to the lawyer, Kari’s is completed, she’s my daughter now, he said yours is making progress, he hopes to have it wrapped up by June, July at the latest.”
“So by summer you will have two daughters, two mischievous teenaged daughters, what do you think?”
“Tish, I’m looking forward to having you as my daughter, but I think you might have told me a little fib.”
“What is a fib Joe,” she asked, her English was better than mine but she had some trouble with idioms and American slang.
“Cutie, it’s when you tell something that’s not true, not a big lie, nothing like that, just a little fib, nobody gets hurt; like if a wife with a broad bottom asks her husband, “Honey is my butt to big,” and he answers, “Sweetheart, your butts perfect, I just love your butt.” In truth it is too big but if he says that, he hurts her feelings and no good can come of that so he tells a little fib, doesn’t hurt him and makes her feel good, no one got hurt, see what I mean and Cutie, I think you told me a little fib.”
“Why would I do that Joe,” she asked.
“Tish, Kari talked to me, about you, she wanted me to know.”
Tish turned red, embarrassment, her emerald green eyes teared, “I am sorry Joe, she should not have said anything to you, now I get in trouble with Cassie; I am so ashamed, Joe, she is more a mother to me than my Mama ever was, I don’t think she would sell me for five hundred American dollars.”
“No Tish, Cassie wouldn’t sell you, she thinks you’re a keeper; remember she’s the one that came up with the idea of us adopting you, she wants you here with us.”
“But if she learns of what I said to Kari?”
“She already knows, we talked about a few days ago.”
“What did she say Joe, was she angry with me?”
“Tish Cutie, Cassie is a competent and confident lady, she knows I love her and want her to always be my wife, no, she’d not angry with you.”
“But what did she say Joe?”
I put my arm around her shoulders and hugged her to me, I whispered, “She thinks I maybe I need to take you fishing; would you like to go fishing with me this evening Cutie?”
“Can we Joe, tonight, really, tonight?”
“Oh yeah, we’re gonna catch us some real nice fish, you just bring what you need, bring a couple of pillows, we can lay back and watch the stars while we wait for a bite, I’ll get the rest of the stuff we’ll need, meet me back here at seven.”
Tish was already fixed up when we sat down to dinner, she had on a cute dress and strappy sandals, her hair was fixed pretty, pulled back in a ponytail with a ribbon, she was wearing a little make-up and a smile as big as Texas, she looked like she was going on a date, not goin’ fishin’.
Kari gave her a big smile right back, Cassie raised an eye brow and said, “Joe, catch somethin’ tonight,” everybody knew Tish and I were going fishing.
At seven I was dockside, I put two rods in the boat, no bait, just the two rods, like I told earlier, if I ask, I take fishing poles, no bait and the rods would stay in the boat but, I guess I’m a creature of habit, I took the rods.
Tish came bouncing down a few minutes later and I mean bouncing, there was a skip in her step, “I’m ready Joe,” she said, she had a little bag in her hand, it looked like Kari’s.
We motored up to the copse of water oak, just three hundred feet up stream from my dock but a world away, I’d only brought two people here, Cassie and Kari, this had been my private place, a place where I could daydream and think. Tonight I was sharing it with another, a beautiful Ukrainian girl who would soon be my daughter.
I tossed the blanket and pillows on the bank, tied the boat up and gave Tish a hand coming ashore. I’d brought a little cooler with me, a bottle of Chardonnay, Inglenook with a screw top cap, no corkscrew needed and a couple of Dixie cups, romantic but I’m still a bit of a redneck, they’d do.
I spread out the blanket and laid the pillows side by side, I poured two cups of the wine, Tish was already sitting, I handed her one and sat beside her.
I took her hand, “Let’s sip on our wine and hold hands for a little while, maybe talk a little, there’s no rush, I want to know you better, by summer you’ll be my daughter and before this evening’s over you’ll be my lover.”
“Oh Joe, what can I say to you, if not for you I would be dead, rotting at the bottom of that well, no one has ever treated me like you and Cassie and Kari have, I’ve fallen in love with all of you, even Mutt, after all he found me, can I just lay down with my head in your lap?”
I took her cup, it was empty, she’d gulped the wine, nerves I thought, she’d been fucked hundreds of times, maybe thousands, I didn’t know, I didn’t care. I cared about making her happy, if lying in my lap helped…
I eased her down, her red hair, tied in a ponytail draped over her shoulder; I stroked her stomach through her dress, circular massage strokes, light, no more than my finger tips.
She sighed, “Joe that feels so nice, you know Joe, many men have touched me but none like you are now, I feel wanted, I feel loved.”
I held her; she snuggled against me as I stroked her tummy.
“Joe kiss me please,” I lifted her and took her in my arms.
She brought her face to mine and our lips me, I was gentle, she was fragile, I wanted everything to be good for her, I let her take the lead. She was tentative, almost like she didn’t know what to do. It dawned on me, she’d been fucked many times, since she was twelve and she was now sixteen but no one had made love to her; I took the lead.
I cooed to her, “My Cutie, my lovely Cutie, be my lover Tish, kiss me, let me be tender to you.”
I let her feel my tongue, between her lips, along her teeth until her mouth opened and she accepted me, she returned my kiss.
“Joe, touch me please, my breasts, touch my breasts.”
Through her dress, through her bra I cupped a breast in my hand and kneaded it.
“Can I take your dress off Cutie, I want to touch you, kiss you, make sweet love to you.”
She raised her arms above her head, I lifted her dress off. Next, her bra, it fastened in front, I unhooked it displaying her breasts, they were beautiful, firm proud and high, with a dusting of freckles, her areolas were tan, her nipples pink, swollen breasts, hard pink gumdrops, I took the bra off her shoulders and lay her down. My hand was on her breast while I continued to kiss her, she quivered to my touch. She’d had many men but she’d never been made love to, I thought her heart was melting, I knew her body was, all she had on were her little thong panties and they were already soaked.
I took her nipple into my mouth, nibbled and sucked while my hand teased her other, tugging at her nipple, twisting and lightly pinching, one then the other. I slowly worked down her torso, below her breasts, her sides to her tummy, rim her little innie and on down to her flaming mound, a mass of wild red curls, I inhaled as I passed over, down to her slit. I parted her labia with my tongue, along one side between her inner and outer lips, tugging gently at her feminine flesh, lips and tongue, then the other, down from the top. I finished with her labia, I again started at the top, my tongue snaking along her vulva, tickling, teasing, a stop at her vagina, a few dips with the tip of my tongue, her scent was still young and fresh, her taste exotic, not tangerine, not melon, an exotic flavor from Ukraine perhaps: she was delicious and I moved further down, the terminus of her vulva, over her perineum, to her tight rosebud, I rimmed her, laving her tight ring, pushing at it with my tongue, she shivered under my attention then back up, tasting, enjoying, to her clitoris. She was red, swollen, blood engorged, waiting, wanting, I took her between my lips and sucked her in, she was already quivering in anticipation, I brushed her pearl tip with my tongue, that was all it took, she bounced around, whipping her head from side to side flagellating herself with her ponytail, crying and wailing, I couldn’t understand her words, but,
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaah, Aaaaaaaaaaaaah,” translates the same world over, her climax was crashing, she shimmied and she shook as wave after wave of orgasmic pleasure flowed from her spasming vagina and I was there to drink her in, her essence flooded my mouth and I swallowed, drinking the sweet flow of my exotic lover.
I crawled up and hugged her to my chest, her breathing was still ragged and she was making little mewling sounds. I held her until she’d calmed.
“Joe that was making love? Making love is so different you made me feel so good Joe; you make me feel like a woman who is loved. No man had ever done that to me, always me for him, never him for me.
“Joe, Kari talked to me to, she told me what “goin fishing” really means, Joe I’ve never gone fishing, would you like to fish with me?”
“Tish, I’d love to fish with you, it would be my honor to be the first.”
“Then we will fish Joe but I am so nervous first I must, how do the little girls say, first I must tinkle.”
She got up, slipped her feet into her sandals and wandered back under the oaks; I couldn’t see her but I could hear her; tinkling.
When she came back she lay again with her head in my lap, she’d picked up her little bag.
Kari lent me her bag, I will have to get my own but for tonight we must use Kari’s, she opened the bag and handed me Kari’s tube of KY Jelly.
She got off my lap and took both pillows, laying one on top of the other, waiting for me.
Kari’d done more than lend her bag; she’d given instructions, too. Tish had assumed Kari’s favorite position.
I moved behind her and lubricated her, lots of lube, first with one finger then with two, adding more lube and yet more. She was ready, I guided John Henry to her opening, I could feel her tension, her fear.
“You won’t hurt me will you Joe?”
“Maybe just a little, I’ll try not to but you’ve got to help, I need you to relax, can you ease your muscles, let yourself go, just relax.”
I caressed her bottom and massages her hips and sides, talking the whole time in a nearly hypnotic monotone, “Relax for me Cutie, relax, relax, let go, let your muscles go, ease your body, relax for Joe.” At the same time I kept a firm constant pressure on her anus, I felt her relax under my touch and I felt her sphincter open, accepting me, through her outer sphincter then the tighter inner sphincter she spread for me.
When I slid in Tish went, “Unnnnnnnnnnnnnh,” a long low groan.
As I slowly inched into her rectum she’d go, “Unnnn, unnnn, unnnn,” with every inch that she took.
She was tight, incredibly tight, nearly as tight as Kari the first time and her fantastic bottom was a perfect heart. Like cupid’s arrow, I was piercing that heart.
When I was completely in, I stopped, letting her rest, “Cutie, are you ok,” I asked.
“Full Joe, I feel so full like I need to go.”
I began to stroke her, filling her, emptying her, filling, emptying her, “Unnnn, unnnn, unnnn,” every stroke into her.
I liked her sound, I was making my own, as I thrust in, “Ungh, ungh, ungh,” grunting in my effort to get deeper and deeper yet, piercing her anus, stuffing her rectum.
I was so aroused, I was like a wild man, I mounted Tish, up on her hips and pounded her, thrusting fast and hard, penetrating her way up in her guts her little,
“Unnnn, unnnn, unnnn’s,” had turned to grunts and moans as I held her narrow hips and powered into her.
I was getting close, I gave her my fingers, if she could climax with me riding her her memories would be sweeter.
I pressed my fingers to her clitoris and rubbed rapidly, exciting her, bringing her along with me, I got there first, I was spewing my hot cream into her, deep in her bowels when she came, with a wail, “Aaaaaaaaaaaaah,” pleasure / pain she released. I pumped out; draining myself then fell to the pillow beside her.
She looked at me and gave me a little smile, she looked beat, even in a ponytail her hair was disheveled, what little make-up she had on was smeared, she was sweaty, bedraggled looking; I felt the same.
“Fishing can be very hard work, yes Joe,” she mused.
“Very hard but very rewarding,” I answered, “It’s only hard work when you catch the big one.”
“Oh I caught the big one Joe, I caught the big one, any bigger and I might have died, yes I caught the big one.”
I asked her if she wanted to get in the creek and wash.
Pulling on her panties she said, “I worked to hard for this, for tonight I want to keep it in me.”
We made it to June, Kari and Tish have been almost perfect daughters and Carrie is the wife that most men can only dream about.
I say almost perfect daughters; there was one episode, isolated but about as bad as it could have been. Cassie and Kari had driven to the super Wal-Mart, it was only grocery shopping and Tish had decided to stay at home; I’d been out on the creek fishing and had gotten a mess of bullheads. I cleaned then, then put them in a bowl of water in the fridge
When I walked into the living area I heard movement coming from Kari’s loft. I thought all the gals had gone together; I didn’t know Tish was still there.
When I peeked over the top of the ladder there was Tish, now what she was doing might be partly my own fault, because of the threat of the Russians I’d left my gun safe unlocked. She had my big Desert Eagle.
“Tish, put that down,” I yelled as I topped the ladder.
I’d frightened her so badly she jumped and dropped my .50 caliber, fortunately when the Desert Eagle is safed it’s damned near impossible to have an accident; the gun didn’t discharge. I’m of the opinion that an unloaded gun’s not much use so all my guns, well except that Holland and Holland 700 Nitro Express and the Purdy shotgun, they’re loaded. The Desert Eagle had seven .50 rounds in the magazine and one in the chamber but it didn’t discharge.
I picked up the gun and replaced it in the gun safe.
“Tish, my gun safe’s unlocked so Cassie or I can get to the guns quickly, if the Russians or anyone else threatening shows up, well we’ll defend ourselves, you and Kari, too, so I’m not gonna lock it now. I believe that I told you we don’t have a lotta rules, you’re sixteen and Kari’s fifteen, you can make decisions, we trust you to make the right decisions. But I did tell you and Kari that the gun safe is off limits, neither of you are to even open it. Do you remember me tellin’ you that?”
Her eyes were downcast, she was staring at her shoes, in a voice like a chastised ten year old she said, “Yes Joe, I remember.”
“Tish, decisions, you’re responsible for your own and you made a bad one, one of the worst in this house, come over here.”
I was sitting on Kari’s bed. Tish stood in front of me, “Remember tellin’ me what the did to you if you did something bad at that house in Odessa, you said they spanked, you were young girls, that was all it took, I hope that’s true ‘cause I’m afraid I’ve gotta give you a spanking.
She was wearing shorts and a Tee-shirt, the shorts had an elastic waist band, I pulled them and her panties together down to her knees then bent her over my lap, her beautiful heart shaped tush that had given me so much pleasure was gonna feel just a bit of pain.
She was crying before I’d even touched her, embarrassment, humiliation, remorse, probably a bit of all them. I cracked her five firm ones on the bare.
I stood her up, pulled her britches back up and said, “Now, I’m gonna forget about this, I’ll not say anything to Cassie or Kari, I know it might be embarrassin’ to you if they knew.”
I went back down the ladder, got a Bud and turned on the TV, thought I’d catch a little of the Brave’s game, their star third baseman, Chipper Jones grew up just down the road a piece in Pierson, Florida.
Bout half an hour later Tish came down, she snuggled up to me on the couch and I put my arm around her shoulders.
“I’m sorry Joe.”
“I know you are Cutie, but that’s done and over and we still love each other, don’t we.”
“Yeah Joe, we sure do.”
It’s August now, school starts soon, both Kari and Tish are enrolled, her adoption came through last month. And it’s a big time around our place, Carrie’s two months pregnant.
Reckon the next story’s gonna have to be named “Joe on the Road (The changin’ of a diaper).
Some footnotes and editorialization:
1. The guns mentioned in this story are all real and perform in the manner expressed according to my research and experience.
2. The treatment and sale of the “Natashas”, and yes, that is the generic term they use to describe their girls, is well documented as is the fact that Odessa is a hotbed for porno film making.
3. Major Lyudmila Pavlichenko was and still is the most successful female sniper of all time, 309 confirmed kills, over 100 officers and 36 enemy (Nazi) snipers. She was injured by mortar fire while fighting on the Crimean Peninsula and was evacuated. Her husband continued to fight and was killed when overrun by the Germans. I find no evidence that she ever remarried or had children, so sadly she’s really not Tish’s grandmother.
4. Larry Wayne “Chipper” Jones is from the small fern growing town of Pierson, Florida.
5. Bill Parsons did get credit for Bobby Bare’s biggest pop recording, an Elvis parody’ “The All American Boy”.
6. And, yes it’s an absolute fact; all of Joe’s girls have terrific tushes.