MAN OF YOUR DREAMS
RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE WITHTHE FOLLOWING QUALIFICATIONS:
1. WON'T BEAT ME UP
2. WON'T RUN AWAY
3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED
For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail...all to no avail. None of the men seemed tomeet her qualifications.
Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find a man, with no arms and no legs, lying on the welcome mat. Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you and what do you want?"
"Hi," said the man "Your search isover, for I am the man of your dreams. I've got no arms, so I can't beat you up and I've got no legs, so I can't run away."
The old woman asked, "What makes you think you're so great in bed?"
To which he replied, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
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Question: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
Answer: Why are you shaking? She's going to eat me.
Q. What's the difference betweenlove and herpes?
A. Love doesn't last forever.
Q . A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it.
A . The thief was spending less then his wife.
Q . Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon yet?
A. It doesn't need cleaning.
Q. Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?
A. Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.
Q. What's the difference betweena 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?
A. A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.
Q . Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A. "Is it in?" For more of me, go to http://omenamoney.blogspot.com/