I was sitting down at a small table by the window, looking out into the street. I had my cup of tea that I sipped on sporadically. My thoughts couldn’t escape the situation with Jack. I don’t know what to do. I like him, he is a nice guy. But he loves me, or thinks he loves me. If I break it off with him he will be crushed, if I tell him I don’t love him he will be crushed. If I just don’t address the issue, just avoid talking about it, then I won’t have to break his heart, I don’t think he will let me though. But if I keep stringing this along, if I keep letting him believe that I like him, then it will just hurt him more when I do break it off. He is so cute; he has an innocence that I can’t get past. Maybe I am suppressing some feelings for him. What if I do have feelings for him, but I subconsciously destroy them because I want to be faithful to John. Is that wrong? Is that fair to Jack? But no, no, I don’t love Jack. Is it wrong for me to entertain the idea of loving Jack? Is that being unfaithful to John? It’s hard to know where the lines are drawn in the relationship we have. It isn’t wrong for me to have sex with someone, and its not wrong for him to have sex with someone, but emotional attachment is wrong. Why do we have to put these limitations on ourselves? Why can’t I be attached to more than one man? Why would that be so bad? I guess it all goes back to trust. The only true thing in life is resting in the arms of your lover, knowing that the two of you have complete confidence and compassion. That’s what life is, having that one person that completes you. Samantha is good with these things. I should talk to her about it. She is helpful to me. I love her smile, the way her lip…I can’t put it into words…I just like that about her. I think I will go ask her what I should do…
I laid on top of my bed, trying to pass some time, reading a book. Although I was staring at the pages, I couldn’t take my thoughts off the reality of my situation. Jack loves me. I know it. I don’t love him. I think I’m falling for Samantha. Once I think about these things I have to think about John and I. I have taken for granted our future together. I knew I loved him basically right away. We have such a great relationship it’s hard to believe it will ever end. But it is in some jeopardy. Samantha walked into the room, shutting and locking the door behind her. It’s only four in the afternoon so it’s a little strange for her to lock the door.
“Hey Holly” Samantha said, turning from the door. I shut my book and set it on the dresser. “What’s up” I said. My heart pounded away with her presence. “I’m horny, and I know you can work that tongue” Sam said, licking her lips. She walked over to my bed, taking her shirt off in the process. Our lips were locked instantly, her tongue exploring my mouth. Our hands ran all over each other, carelessly disrobing each other. To my surprise we didn’t get into a sixty nine, but rather she crawled down putting her face between my legs. Samantha licked gently, giggling as she looked up at me. Her tongue parted my lips and entered my hot wetness. Her breath came over me, tingling. She fingered and tongued, sucked and licked. Soon I came, the other girls knew what we were doing from all the screaming I did. My hands clutching at her hair as I spasmed out of control. She had pleased me. It was my turn to please her. I knew in that moment that I loved her. I think love is putting the happiness of your partner above your own. Putting your health and well being behind theirs. She enjoyed pleasing me, and I was very excited about being able to please her. As we exchanged positions I kissed her, this one meaning more than before.
Samantha now on her back, I went to work. She moaned softly as I ate her. She was extremely wet before I got there. Her breathing became very rapid and I knew when she was about to come. When she did come she held my face between her legs, arched her back screeching out. She didn’t know it, but in that moment I told her I loved her, only problem is my tongue was inside her lips. Both of us coming down from our orgasms we laid in my now messy bed, in each other’s naked arms, not talking. We were together and as close as is possible in more ways than one.
It was time for my ‘date’ with Elizabeth. I got to her apartment around three o’clock. I knocked on the door. “Hi, John” Elizabeth said, opening the door. She stood in the doorway completely naked, her c-cup tits perky on her chest. She was unshaven, with nice long legs. I walked inside, “Have a seat” she said. I sat on the couch. Elizabeth sat next to me. I clapped my hands and rubbed them together, “Let’s get to work then” I said. “What do you want to do?” I asked her. “Have sex” She said, her tone of voice said ‘duh’. “Well sex means a lot of things, let’s get specific” I said. She stopped to think for a second. “I want to get back at my boyfriend for cheating” She said. “Do you orgasm when you have sex with him?” I asked her. “Well, sometimes” She said. “Let me guess, selfish guy, when he’s done, your both done?” I said. “Ya” she replied. “Let’s go to the bedroom” I said.
I followed her to the bedroom. We stood at the foot of the bed. “Don’t worry, I’ll do all the work” I said. I motioned toward the bed. She sat up on the foot of the bed. “Lay back” I said. Elizabeth slid back till she had her head on the pillows. “Do you have a vibrator or a dildo?” I asked her. “No” She said. “I guess I’ll have to do this manually” I said. I stripped at the foot of her bed. I crawled up on the bed and on all fours until we were face to face. “Close your eyes” I said. She closed her eyes. I gently kissed her on the lips, then kissed her neck. I rubbed my hands up and down her sides as I kissed lightly down to her breasts. I stopped to suck and lick each of her nipples, massaging her breasts with my hands. I slowly rubbed my hands up and down her stomach, as I kissed down to her belly button. I ran my hands down the outside of her thighs, and to the inside. My mouth hovered above her glistening slit. She moaned in anticipation. I kissed her hips on either side of her slit. My hands feeling their way back to her tits, slowly playing with them.
She was trembling, waiting for my touch on her pussy. I licked her thighs, one stroke up each one. Then I centered my tongue between her legs. I placed my tongue against the bottom of her pink slit. Gently holding my tongue against her lips, I breathed on her pussy, she was moaning already. I very slowly licked from the bottom of her pussy to the top. I brought one hand down from her tits. I slowly inserted one finger into her dripping pussy, simply holding it inside of her. Her pussy was tight. I licked the top of her slit, holding one finger in the bottom. I began to slowly pump my finger in and out of her, her lips clinging to my finger. I lapped up and down quickly on the top of her pussy. I slowly brought my finger to a steady fucking of her slit.
I abruptly stopped. I pulled my finger out, sat back from her. “Keep your eyes closed” I said. I didn’t touch her at all, sitting between her spread legs. I sat watching her breathing. I was going to make her want it so bad she couldn’t stand it. I took the opportunity to get off the bed, and put on a condom, pulling it from the pocket of my shorts laying on the ground. I crawled back onto the bed. I spread her pussy lips apart with my hands, exposing her pink slit. I leaned down, and shoved my tongue deep inside her. I sucked and licked all over her dripping wet pussy. I toyed with her clit with my tongue. She was moaning loudly “Yes oh yes”. I let my hands wander around her body again, my tongue lapping against her lips. I kept this up until I thought that penetration would send her over the edge.
I pulled away from her slit, crawling further up the bed, until my cock was poised above her pussy. I don’t know if she knew it was coming, her eyes closed. I held my cock to her slit, but not touching. I suddenly thrusted, my cock penetrating her deep. “OHHH FUCK” She screamed. I thrusted in and out hard. She came hard, screaming, moaning, her arms reaching back, her back arched, her breaths uncontrollable. Her tight pussy squeezed my cock hard. I pulled out, and sat beside her. She slowly recovered, breathing returning to normal. “that was wonderful” she said, euphoric. “That was just the warm-up” I said.
I slowly ate her out again, finger fucking her, playfully bringing her up. Once she was near orgasm, I fucked her hard and fast. We did this three times. “FUCK” she said loudly. “I can’t take it anymore, just fuck me, FUCK ME, FUCK ME” She said, having just come down from her third orgasm. I grabbed her, putting her on all fours. I moved behind her, putting my cock against her slit. I fucked her doggy style. I pounded her pussy, my hips slapping hard against her ass. She was moaning and screaming as I fucked her from behind. “FUCK oh Fuck YES” She moaned. “OHH YEAH” I moaned, fucking her. She let herself fall forward, her face in a pillow, just her ass sticking in the air. I pounded her hard. Bringing her to another orgasm. I slowly fucked her through her orgasm, stopping to let her come down. “Have you cum yet?” She asked me, her voice shifting from her lightheadedness; her ass still in the air behind her. “No” I said. “Fuck” She said. “My pussy can’t take any more” Elizabeth said. “I could fuck your ass” I said, hopeful. I upright on my knees. She rolled over, looking at me.
Elizabeth suddenly threw herself forward, impaling her mouth with my cock. She took the whole length of my cock in her mouth and throat. She pulled back, stroking her mouth on half my cock, stroking the other half with her hand. “mmm” she moaned. “I want to taste you” She said, pulling the condom off my cock. She pushed me back, I fell on my back, she crawled up, shoving her face down on my crotch. Her hair covered the scene, but she was blowing me hard. Jamming my cock down her throat. “Shoot it down my throat” She said. I just moaned as I came near, and finally came. I blasted her throat, filling her mouth with cum. She pulled off after the first few blasts. She jerked my cock as I continued to cum, splashing jizz off her face. “Fuck that was good” I said. “Your telling me?” She said.
I sat on my bed, all the other girls were asleep. I think Samantha might have been awake, but pretended to be sleeping. I picked up the phone and dialed. *ring* It was a eight hour difference, so it was midday for him. *ring* Please be home, please be home. I kept repeating the thought in my head. *ring*
“Hello?” John answered
“Hi” I said with that excited something in my voice
“Hi stranger” He said, his tone lifting, realizing it was me.
“How’s Paris, are you having fun?” He asked.
“Its great” I said, lying just a little bit.
“So are you making friends?” He asked.
“Yeah, there is a girl, Samantha, she’s my roommate, she’s really nice” I said, keeping my voice down, but I was pretty sure Sam was awake anyways.
“Nice? Huh, so you slept with her?” He asked me.
“Possibly” I said, starting to giggle. I didn’t want to tell him I loved her. I couldn’t spring that on him now. What if he isn’t having a good time.
“That’s my girl” John said. His love for me seemed to ooze through the phone, I was surely blushing like crazy, excited.
“Anyone else, other roommates perhaps” He asked.
“Your concocting the image of six girls in a dorm in your head right now aren’t you?” I asked him, laughing.
“More like remembering” He said. True enough, maybe not six, but we have done things like this.
“So have you or no?” He persisted.
“No I haven’t slept with any of the others. Just Samantha” I said. I didn’t really lie. I didn’t tell him about Jack, but he didn’t ask. Or did he? Well, it wouldn’t help things to mention Jack to him, so I guess it’s ok.
“So how have you been?” I asked him
“So how have you been?” Holly asked me, the loaded question right off the bat.
“Oh I’m great” I said. Idiot, you aren’t with your girl, you aren’t great. Poor word choice. I never found myself nervous about my words with her before. But now with the lack of contact the importance of the conversation was magnified.
“Having lots of sex I’m sure” She said. I could almost see her gleaming smile, blushing cheeks.
“Some” I said, obviously sarcastically.
“Who?” She asked.
“Well, I figured that I should spread my…my talents to women that are lonely and need a good man. So I found this older woman that’s divorced.” I said
“Your talents huh? I’m gone a few days and you are an artist” Holly said, teasing me.
“Anyone else?” Holly asked. Now I had to wonder if it was a good idea to tell her about Elizabeth. I guess that’s the thing with lies. They start innocently, I just didn’t want her to think I could be that happy without her here.
“Well Steph and Sandy of course, but that’s about it” I said, neglecting to mention Elizabeth.
“Take care of those girls for me will you?” Holly said.
“I’ll try” I said.
“Oh, and don’t let them fool you, they made a porno. I think they used our video camera when we weren’t home. I saw the tape in a store here.” Holly said giggling.
“Oh really” I said, pondering a way to use this information against them. Not against them like Hoover, but in some humorous way.
There was a pause, a silence that seemed to go on too long. But it just kept going, silence.
“They say the best way to break the awkward silence is to talk about said awkward silence” I said, breaking the awkward silence.
“Where do you come up with this stuff?” Holly asked me.
“I’d like to think that its pure genius” I said, humbly.
Holly laughed at me some more.
“I was wondering…Have you ever wanted to try phone sex?” I asked her. I had imagined it a few times. It’s kind of sexy, but pails in comparison to sex. We have so much sex we never had a reason to have phone sex.
“I don’t think I have ever even thought about it” Holly said.
“It could be fun” She said.
“How do we start?” I asked.
“I don’t know I’ve never done it” She protested.
“I haven’t either” I defended myself
“What are you wearing?” I asked her, trying to get it started
“A large sweatshirt, sweatpants, no bra” She said.
“I reach under your shirt, and pinch your bare nipples” I said.
“Really? I don’t feel anything” She said.
“I don’t think you understand the concept” I said, teasing her
“Let’s try this some other time, I don’t feel it right now, and my roommate is right here, I don’t want to masturbate on the phone.” She said.
“Alright, Well I’ll talk to you later I guess” I said, ending the conversation, since it was so late for her.
“Love you” She said
“I Love you too” John said. We both hung up the phone. It was just a small lie. I’m not sure why I didn’t tell him. I should have. I guess it doesn’t really matter anyway. Finished up getting ready for bed and laid down, staring at the black ceiling, trying to sleep. But I just kept thinking about John, Samantha, and Jack…We have never really discussed it. I think I love Samantha. I know John isn’t interested in guys, but I sure am, him mostly. But I am also interested in girls. Is it cheating if I love a woman? I mean…it is but it isn’t. Maybe he would think its hot and go with it. Or maybe its against the entire trust of the relationship. I can’t ask him if its ok for me to love a woman. He would see right through it and know I already do. I should have asked him a long time ago. Things are starting to get complicated…