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Mr. Lucas Schools A Writer An “Are You Being Served?” story


Lunch had ended and the staff from the ladies and gents departments were back at their workstations all except Mr. Granger who had taken a detour to the rest room after having the steak and kidney pie for lunch.
Mrs. Slocomb was regaling Miss Brahms with her adventures from the pub the previous evening.


Mr. Humphries was helping a customer with a coat and Captain Peacock was fulfilling his usual function, standing around with his nose in the air, when the lift opened and a woman emerged. She was the epitome of a true English rose. She stood over five and a half feet high in her three inch heels. Her skin was as fair as the whitest alabaster while her deep blue eyes contrasted perfectly with her flaming red hair.


The lady in question was dressed stylishly in a black pencil skirt paired with a white blouse and she had a trench coat over her outfit due to the typical rainy English weather. Captain Peacock noticed the lady and sidled up next to her.


“Are you being served Ma’am?” he asked in his most pompous tone.


The woman turned and gave him a dazzling smile in return. Though her blouse wasn’t tight the top few buttons had been left undone revealing the top of her creamy bosom. Captain Peacock’s eyes were drawn irresistibly to the hidden depths there and he was so distracted he didn’t hear what she had said. The woman rolled her eyes and repeated her statement.


“Not yet you naughty man, I’m interested in a pair of trousers” she said in a posh manner.


“Yes Ma’am the ladies department is this way if you will follow me.”

“You misunderstood me. I’m looking for a pair of men’s’ trousers.”

“Sorry Ma’am, a gift perhaps. Follow me.”


They walked to the menswear counter where Mr. Lucas stood arranging the sock drawer. When he saw the red headed beauty he fumbled half the socks onto the counter and quickly shoveled them into the drawer.


“Mr. Lucas is Mr. Granger free?”

He looked around carefully around before answering.

“No Captain Peacock, it seems his lunch didn’t agree with him and he has yet to return.”

“I did warn him about his selection, it did seem a little dicey. Well then is Mr. Humphries free?”

“The thing of it is Captain Peacock, he’s helping a customer right now.”

“All right then Mr. Lucas, this lady is looking for a pair of trousers. Please assist her.”

Having fulfilled his function Captain Peacock wandered off looking like he was smelling a disagreeable odor.


“Is he always so stuffy and pretentious?” the woman asked bringing a smile to Mr. Lucas’ face.

“That is how a floorwalker is supposed to look” answered Mr. Lucas. “Now you’re looking for a pair of trousers. What size is your husband?”

The woman laughed, a musical bell like sound very easy on the ears.

“Oh no, I’m not married” she answered.

“Sorry, your father then?”

The woman just shook her head no.

“Well to save us some time you can tell me the size you need” Mr. Lucas said.

“That’s the thing, I’m not sure what size I need. You see the trousers are for me.”

“I see. Well then I’ll need your measurements Ma’am.”

The woman put her finger and thumb on her chin as she thought about it.

“My measurements are 34c-26-38 and you may call me Jayney not Ma’am.”

“Well Jayney while your measurements are very impressive the waist one is the only one I need from those. But I also will need to know your inside leg measurement. Do you happen to know that?”

“No I’m sorry I don’t. But surely you must know how to obtain it.”

“Well yes I normally take the measurement, but the customer isn’t usually wearing a skirt. That does complicate things somewhat.”

“Would it help if I removed the skirt?” Jayney asked innocently.


Mr. Lucas swallowed hard before answering. “It would help but we will have to do it in the dressing room area where it’s more private. Please come with me.”


Jayney followed as they passed to the dressing room. Mr. Lucas opened the first curtain and was confronted with the vision of Mr. Humphries standing behind a gentleman with his arms wrapped around the front of the man.


“Sorry” Mr. Lucas called out as he closed the curtain. He opened the next curtain to an empty room. He gestured for Jayney to enter and he followed before closing the curtain. The room wasn’t very large and they were in such close proximity that he could smell her intoxicating perfume. Jayney turned her back to him.


“Do you mind helping me with my zipper? It’s so tiny I always have a problem with it.”

Mr. Lucas gallantly pulled down the zipper revealing a band of creamy flesh between her blouse and her red, silk knickers. As she slid the skirt down her suspenders and black nylon stockings were uncovered. Mr. Lucas wiped his brow with his handkerchief as suddenly he felt very warm. After removing her skirt completely she turned and smiled.


“Will you be able to do it now, I mean get the measurement?”


“Certainly Jayney” he said while crouching down. Ever the gentleman he breathed on the metal end of the tape measure to warm it before it touched her soft skin. When he placed the tape measure right at the top of her inner leg Jayney couldn’t help giggling.


“Oh that tickles” she said.


The feeling to Mr. Lucas wasn’t a tickling feeling but a randy one as his crotch became restricted by the blood flowing to his member, which had already started growing. Get it together man, he thought to himself, just get this measurement before you do something you’ll regret. As he attempted the task something caught his eye. One stray red hair was sneaking through the leg band making Mr. Lucas even crazier. Biting the bullet, not what he really wanted to bite, Mr. Lucas held the tape measure to Jayney’s inside leg and took the measurement. He then removed the tape and stood.


“I’ll be back with those trousers in a few moments Jayney” he said while positioning himself so as not to reveal his erection.


He returned with the trousers and handed them thru the curtain to Jayney. A couple of minutes later she stepped out wearing them looking smashing. She first did a twirl then put her hand on her hip in a saucy manner.

“How do they look on me?” she asked.


“I can say in all truthfulness that I’ve never seen a pair of men’s trousers worn so well” he answered.
“But may I ask why you need them if I’m not being too forward?”


“Well I hope you don’t think me too silly, but it’s for research for a story I’m working on.”


“Research?”


“Yes you see I’m a writer and I’m trying to write it from a male perspective.”


“Well will wearing trousers help?”

Lowering her voice Jayney said “I certainly hope so. Because not only do I have to write as a male, I have to be convincing as a male describing a sexual encounter with a woman.”


When she told him the last part her face became as red as her hair.

“I can understand it from my point of view, so to speak, but it’s harder as a man.”


Now at this point it was harder for a man, if that man was Mr. Lucas, as he was quite hard. Jayney meanwhile continued speaking.


“If only there was some way I could pick a man’s brain about such a thing, I feel I could do this.”


Just then an idea occurred to Mr. Lucas that was a stroke of genius. Later the gents department were discussing their customers.


“Would you believe Mr. Lucas that the zipper on the coat was stuck on the lining so I had to help the customer get it down. But it worked out for the best. He had an extra ticket to the ballet and invited me and of course he bought the coat. Now what about your customer Mr. Lucas. If Mr. Granger knew there was a lady in the gent’s dressing room he wouldn’t have recovered yet, I think.”


“Her name is Jayney and I’m going to help her think like a man this evening for a story. And the best thing is her parents are on holiday so she will have the flat to herself. Hopefully she will understand a bit more about the male sex drive after this evening Mr. Humphries.”


After the store closed Mr. Lucas doused himself with cologne and went to her flat. Jayney greeted him wearing the trousers and a plain white button down shirt.


“I’ve been wearing the trousers since arriving but so far they haven’t helped much. I hope you can help. By the way what are you carrying Mr. Lucas?” she said noticing he was carrying a bag.


“Ah Jayney, in this bag I brought something that I thought could be tried as a last ditch effort to help and it seems we might have to give it a go.”


“Well I’ll try anything at this point as I’m drawing a blank.”


Mr. Lucas reached into the bag and said “Ta-daa” as he removed a pair of trousers.


“How is another pair of trousers going to help?” she asked perplexed.


“Well you see these are special trousers that will help you understand the sexual urges of a man.”


“And how is that?” she asked with a smile.


“Now as you’ll observe though theses pants are the same length as the others there is an important difference. They are much larger in the waist.”


“If the pants not staying up on me help can help then okay. But otherwise?”


“You didn’t allow me to finish Jayney. You have to put these on and then I’ll answer your question.”


Jayney took the trousers and left the lounge. She returned in a few minutes with the oversized trousers on. She had to clutch the waistband or the trousers surely would be around her ankles. Mr. Lucas approached her and eyed his handiwork.


“They are quite roomy, are they not Jayney.”


Jayney the redhead simply nodded yes. Mr. Lucas unfastened his own trousers and slipped them off while standing behind Jayney’s behind. He was rubbing his hand against his suddenly tight y-fronts.


“Now Jayney” he said “I need you to unfasten the trousers and let gravity do its part, then I can help you experience what it’s like to be a man.”


The comely British maid followed his directive and soon the trousers were pooled around her ankles. Mr. Lucas then stepped inside the trousers right on top of Jayney while also pulling the trousers up to their waists.


“Now Jayney simply fasten the trousers so you can experience the male perspective.”


As soon as Jayney complied she felt the male perspective pressing against her bottom. She experienced it more fully when Mr. Lucas slipped his hands into the trouser pockets and pressed her closer to him. Mr. Lucas at that moment experienced something akin to a religious epiphany. Meanwhile Jayney grew increasingly alarmed by the growing pressure against her bum as well as Mr. Lucas’ hands pressing against her mound.


“Mr. Lucas, I say Mr. Lucas aah… eh… dick.”


“Yes Jayney how did you know my Christian name?”


“Your Christian name?”


“Yes my name is Richard but all the birds call me Dick for short.”


“Oh well, but it doesn’t feel short to me.’


In fact Dick’s dick had grown to its full length and was pressing between Jayney’s legs and was rubbing against her knickers covered womanhood. Jayney could feel herself becoming very randy and a growing wet spot began to spread on her knickers.


“How very perceptive you are Jayney. Back in school I was known as Long Dick Lucas.”


“Oooh I can believe that” she said snuggling back further into him.


He then removed his hands from the pockets and started unbuttoning Jayney’s shirt, starting at the bottom and working his way up. Jayney’s hands were not idle either. She undid the trousers and pushed them down before reaching down and grabbing the knob of Dick’s dick between her legs. He gasped in delight and began to fondle her breasts through her lacy underwire brassiere.


“Wait Dick” she said giggling.


She took two steps forward and turned to face him. Then Jayney reached back and unclasped her bra and shook it down her shoulders revealing her bosom in all its glory. Each breast was round and full while her areolas and nipples were of a pink coral hue and looked very tasty. Shyly looking down Jayney then slipped her red silk knickers down her legs and stepped out of them, standing now in her heels and wearing nothing but her suspenders, black silk stockings and a smile.


Though Mr. Lucas first instinct was to pounce, he had to pause a moment and drink in the beauty of Jayney with his eyes. Becoming impatient with his inaction Jayney reached forward and again grasped his bulge breaking the spell he was under. He pulled her close and began to feast on her succulent nipple, taking it between his teeth and nipping the nipple. Jayney gasped with delight as Mr. Lucas squeezed her other nipple between his thumb and finger.


Her own hand crept between her milky thighs and passing her fiery bush began to touch herself in a very lascivious manner exciting herself further. Mr. Lucas continued his attention to her bosomly charms, kissing and sucking, feeling and pinching until Jayney’s knees went weak. He gallantly caught her and lifted her up and placed her on the sofa, her limbs akimbo. He knelt down and beheld Jayney’s red bush and below that her divine looking womanhood, glistening from her own juices.


Unable to control himself Mr. Lucas pressed his face against it and inhaled her musky, female odor. Then his tongue came out and ran the length of her from her hooded fold and all down her juicy slit bringing her great delight. His thumb exposed her erect love button and he took it between his lips and sucked making Jayney gasp. That only sped him on and soon Mr. Lucas was in a virtual frenzy of pussy licking which only ended when Jayney reached her climax and clamped her legs on his head. After a minute Jayney had recovered enough to relax her legs. Mr. Lucas stood and removed his y-fronts before brining his member within reach of Jayney’s bee stung lips.


She bestowed a quick kiss on the top of his scepter then grasped it in her dainty hand. Delighted with the feeling of it she also grasped it with her other hand and was amazed to discover that though she held it with both hands there still was more of it that was uncovered.


“Your willy is so long I can’t hold it all Dick.”


“That’s all right Jayney, right now I want you to suck it.”


She opened her mouth and took it in, running her tongue all over the crown of his scepter and making him feel like King for a day. Jayney got it as wet as possible because she had plans for it. As soon as it was to her liking she pulled her mouth off it and stood. Jayney then pushed Mr. Lucas onto the sofa and straddled him. She reached down and grasped his scepter and guided it to her waiting opening.


Jayney moaned as his crown spread her lips and then she impaled herself on him, her scabbard swallowing his sword. Mr. Lucas could hardly believe that she had taken the full length of him into her wet depths.


“Jayney you fit the whole thing inside you. How?”



“Writers have creative license” she answered truthfully.


Jayney began to ride Mr. Lucas harder than a jockey heading to the finish line. Her beautiful bum slapped against his thighs as she worked herself up and down Dick’s long dick. Her perfect breasts swayed before him from her movements and Mr. Lucas couldn’t resist taking as much of one into his mouth as he could. This sent Jayney into the bliss of orgasm. Her body trembled and shook and his scepter was bathed in her sticky, sweet juice.


Tired from her exertions she was pleased when Mr. Lucas rolled them over with him coming out on top. He shifted her legs to his shoulders and began to thrust into her hard.


“Yes Mr. Lucas fill me up, batter my defenses with your mighty battering ram, pierce my quim with your mighty arrow” she said as well as other such phrases that she had learned in her creative writing class.


Mr. Lucas needed no more encouragement by this time. He felt the familiar feeling growing in him and redoubled his efforts, thrusting faster until with a moan he cried out “I’m spending aayy” then his mighty scepter began releasing a gusher of liquid love like a fountain inside Jayney. It filled her and continued gushing from him until it began to seep from her staining the sofa cushion.


The two lovers rested in the afterglow for a few minutes, recovering their senses. Mr. Lucas rolled from Jayney and kissed her tenderly.


“Did you learn about the male sexual perspective?” he asked her.


Jayney thought about it for a minute before replying.


“I learned some but I think we should do it some more until I’m really certain” she said with a lustful expression on her pretty face “since we have the flat to ourselves.”

THE END

If you liked this episode leave a comment and watch for a future episode with everyone’s favourite lovable dirty old man Mr. Grace along with his nurse and secretary. Cheers!
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