Sometimes, it seems, love is in the place that you'd least expect to find it...
Where should I start… well, I guess I’ll start at the VERY beginning of it all.
My name is Jessie, short for Jessica and my brother’s name is Alex. I was born 4 and a half minutes before Alex to a single mother in a small village outside of Palermo, Sicily on February 14, 1992 (Valentine’s Day!!). I was born with various different conditions, some hereditary and some from just plain bad luck. I am autistic, albeit very mildly. I show no functional issues aside from executive functioning impairments, but developed early language skills when I was four. I was also born with hyperthyroidism, which is a condition that speeds up my metabolism to an unhealthy amount. Today, I am on constant medication to regulate it and must eat in regular intervals. During my growth spurt, my food bill rose to $50 a day!
I was also born with heterochromia, a condition I inherited from my mother’s father. For those of you who don’t know, it’s having two different colored eyes. Think Kate Bosworth or someone like that. My left eye is golden-brown that darkens in the middle and my right eye is a solid blue. I like to think of myself as physically fit. I keep up with a workout routine to help my body’s metabolism stay regulated. I fill out a 34C cup rather nicely and dye my hair various colors, albeit my natural hair is a copper-red. I always had, and always will have, a babyface. I have five or six main freckles that dot it with more that pop out in the summer. My eyes are quite large, my nose is pretty small, and my mouth seems proportional, but I don’t really know. I kind of got used to my face and couldn’t be the judge of its attractiveness.
My brother is also a good-looking individual. We both play instruments. I play guitar, bass, violin, and cello, but he plays the drums. Those drums really beefed his arms up over the years. He’s a bit of a hefty guy, standing at 5’11 and weighing in at around 215 pounds, literally two of me. I’m 5’9, though, so we maintain a good level with each other. Alex was always proud of his physique, even if it wasn’t the best. He’s basically an average Joe with a natural gut and some hefty arms from many years of playing the drums. His eyes are so blue that I swear I could go swimming in them. That was always my favorite thing about him. I love the color of his eyes. His hair is champagne-blonde and has a natural poise to it. Both of our heads are adorned with thick hair, a gift I appreciate wholeheartedly every time I hear about the people losing their hair on TV. His face is usually clean-shaven, long, and slender, with the same basic features as mine. We look and sound a lot alike.
My father and grandfather on my father’s side were both heavily involved in the Italian mafia and for most of my early childhood, my mother and brother and I were hiding, albeit at the time I didn’t know from whom or why. At the age of six, we immigrated with our mother to the United States to finally rid ourselves of our family ties.
When we moved to the states, we first lived in one of many towns in heavily populated northern New Jersey. We barely threw down our bags before our family caught up to us. I don’t exactly remember what had happened. According to my mom, when I was sleeping, my father’s sister had broken in to the house and snuck into our room when we were asleep. Mom felt some sort of “strong poke,” as she describes it, and she jerked to life and chased the intruder out of the house, screaming and landing punches as opportunities arose. We never woke up during all of this, apparently.
We weren’t safe in that house, and there was nowhere else we could live. So our mom sold off everything she owned and bought a 1992 Jeep Cherokee. We lived in that truck for the following two years.
I had a hard time adjusting to elementary school life… I guess that’s where it all started, I suppose. My brother and I already formed a lasting bond throughout our early childhood, and while we were living in the back of an SUV, we didn’t really mind all too much. I guess you could say I am an optimist in a lot of ways.
I distinctly remember the first day of school. We got 7 hours of sleep a piece when Mom woke us up. We slept in the trunk, using the spare tire cover and a bunch of jackets as a pillow. “Okay, you guys, time to get ready for school!” shouted my mother as she revved the engine. To this day, the sound of a six-cylinder still wakes us up, even if we’re dead asleep and it’s just a guy driving by our house. It’s our alarm clock, of sorts.
“Come on, sleepy-heads!” she shouted again over the back seat. “Okay, fine…” said my brother, still groggy. “Mom, I have a headache…” I complained. We’re both NOT morning people by any means.
We got out of the Jeep and brushed our teeth in the back window. We had taken a bath the day before, albeit I don’t remember where. Usually, we’d use these showers at the local public pool to get cleaned up. Sometimes we’d take a bath in a motel here and there, though, for special occasions like this. And for us, it was a special occasion. I remember seeing the school for the first time. It actually looked fairly imposing. It was a Catholic elementary school. It was one story, shaped like a backwards L, and with the larger part of the L topped with a massive church that made it seem bigger than it was. We’d frequently venture up to the church during school hours to observe Mass. We loved this because it meant that we skipped a period.
When I first walked in, I felt very uneasy. I suppose he felt this, because as we walked through those doors, he whispered, “shh… Take it easy, Jessie. You’ll do great,” and it was this small phrase that had resonated with me from the moment I entered to the time I left. The classes were easy (as are all first-grade courses) and the other students were fine. The class was very small; we had 25 students there at the time. We introduced ourselves one at a time as the teacher called on our names. When Alex and my names were called, the teacher noticed the common last name.
“Oh, you two are siblings?” she inquired nonchalantly. We didn’t know what to do, so we just nodded with a “Yes, ma’am,” and a smile.
“So, you two twins?” Again, a nod, this one silent, “How fascinating! It’s not too often that I have twins that are a boy and a girl!”
“Oh… umm…” I muttered. I was, and still am, very shy around new people. My brother picked up where I left off. “Yeah, we’re a one-of-a-kind pair!” he said, nudging me in the shoulder. I smiled back at him for lifting the weight off my shoulders. The teacher smiled and continued with calling the rest of the names. Many of those students have names that I completely forgot. Others have names that I will never forget.
That first class showed me just how selfless Alex truly was. Even at the tender ages of six, we were looking after each other and helping each other out in a genuinely considerate fashion. Between age six to eight, we lived in the Jeep while attending school there. But when we were eight and we moved into our first apartment, it was an experience unlike any other.
I remember stepping in to the house for the first time. “Welcome home, guys!” shouted Mom joyfully as she tossed her bags on the bare wooden floor. It wasn’t much, but it sure beat having to do your hair in a rear-view mirror! And I finally had an answer to which town I lived in, which was a big plus!
I guess before I continue, I’m going to tell you a little about Mom. She was half-Irish, half Italian. My grandfather was born in Ireland and moved to northern Italy before the War. After the War, he trained with the Swiss Border Patrol where he patrolled the Swiss Alps on skis for many years. He met my grandmother at a local deli in the area. Mom was born somewhere in Switzerland but quickly moved to Sicily with her parents. Her hair is curly and red, and freckles dot her skin. She isn’t exactly a MILF; I’m not out to embellish anything. However, she is the sweetest woman in the world. She doesn’t talk about how or why she fell in with the Mafia or what they did to her, but she certainly does not regret getting an abortion, something she was greatly pressured to do. Frankly, neither are we!
Mom sat us down for a quick talk. “Guys, we may need to move again pretty soon, but for now, this is home. Enjoy it!” We looked at each other, nodded, and sped off like lightning to search every cabinet, closet, crevice, and corner. It was mostly a plain little apartment. There was only a kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom. The living room was more or less a wide hallway with a couch in it. But it was the best damn living room I’ve ever seen. “Mom… this is great!” I excitedly cheered. Mom had a warm, genuine smile on her face that is implanted in my mind to this day. Her green eyes watched us dart from room to room with glee as she sat down in the first couch she sat on in years. What an amazing shitty little apartment that was.
A year later, Mom brought out the suitcases again. “Mom… no… we’re not moving again,” I said through my sobs. “Yeah, Mom, what’s wrong with this apartment?” said Alex in tow.
“We have to move… I’m so sorry, guys. I wish it could be different. I wish we could stay. But we can’t. We have to leave,” mom sorrowfully mumbled to us. It was the saddest news I’ve heard in my life at that point. We packed our bags and got back in the Jeep and moved an hour west, to Philadelphia. We stayed in the same school, which was about a 30-minute drive, since we now had the advantage of a highway being in between this new, even shittier apartment and the school. This was a studio apartment, and we slept on this mattress on the ground while Mom slept on the pull-out couch that came with the place. But Alex and I didn’t care.
See, our mother raised us to be optimists. She taught us that we have to see a positive side to every story, that the universe has a balance to it. So while we went to school and learned about the nature of God and the Devil, our mom had another philosophy. And Mom’s philosophy was the predominate one in our house. We never admonished Catholic philosophy, nor will we ever, as Mom also taught us to respect all religions. Her philosophy was simple: there is a positive to every negative and a negative to every positive. For every negative action that happens, somewhere down the line, a positive action will be triggered as a result, and vice versa. The trick is to acknowledge the negatives while reveling in the positives. It’s this recipe that she says will get us through life in an easier way. So far, I’m going to have to agree.
Let me give you an example. There was a negative action of us moving to Philly. We loved that old apartment. And consequently, she taught us that we’re absolutely right. It was a negative. Therefore, there must be a positive hidden somewhere in there. So for the longest time, we looked for that positive. It just so happened to come rather unexpectedly.
Our neighbor below us was playing in a band at the time, and it was apparently rehearsal time, because I could hear him rocking out underneath our feet as Alex and I had dinner while Mom struggled to catch a cat-nap.
See, here’s the sequence of events that set off the positive. First, we moved to Philly. Say that’s a -3. Then we get to school faster. Okay, that’s a +1. We get home sooner and get work done quicker, so more free time, another +1. However, the apartment is crappy, and there’s nothing to do, so -1, making the total -2. Also, the city took its toll, and after a year and a half of living there, by age 10, I was getting frequent migraines. That’s a -2. So that night, we go down to talk to the guy below us, which was a sign of respect, as we didn’t just leave a passive-aggressive note on his door. So that proactive step is a +1. The man invites us in and we had the first sip of soda we’ve had in years, another +1. Then he shows Alex his drum set, and that’s the final kicker, the final +2. Alex was hooked, and by Christmas, he had his very own little rubber drum set and some sticks. He still bangs on those stupid rubber pads to this day. See how things even out?
Mom and we had to move again that year. We moved to New York City, where we lived in the Bronx and went to Middle School in Manhattan. We were certainly not used to seeing Manhattan without the trademark Twin Towers, and Alex and I are grateful every day that we weren’t living there when that happened.
Mom got a job as a maître Dee and would walk us to school every day. She parked the Jeep in this cheap-as-hell lot that filled up fast, so we got to school really early every day and did our homework in the parking lot. Mom would sit with us until the bell rang, then blew us a kiss and waited as we went inside the imposing brick and stone structure. It was the first public school we’d ever attended, and we loved it. The school was massive and had so many kids in it. It was a thrilling experience.
At school, I was always picked on. You know that girl who sits in the back of the room and doodles in her notebook? That’s me. My brother was a knight in shining armor for the most part, and would always help me out whenever bullies became a problem. That school time, however, was short-lived.
Mom was shaken down by some more Mafia guys. We had to move again, and it had been less than six months. Mom came home crying that day; I remember it well. She was sick of the constant running, she said. She wanted to go somewhere far away. So we packed our bags and left.
We first lived in the summer for a couple of weeks in Kentucky, in our uncle’s basement. However, as it turned out, he was a complete and utter nut, and ended up shooting two kids in the head with a Springfield M1903 at close range. Thank God we were at the local deli picking up some sandwiches to eat when he did it, or else we could’ve faced some serious legal problems. After the trial, he was found guilty and sentenced 25 to Life, so we had to move… again. This time, we moved far away… really far away. We moved to California.
Now, Mom was a very financially conservative woman. Our father had been tracking us all over the country, so she had to always stay one step ahead. I give her every ounce of credit for doing so under that pressure. We had a nice sum of cash saved up from her various odd jobs. She worked in lots of different places, from day-cares to restaurants. In between us going to school, she went to culinary school and became a chef, but could never land a job as one, so she saved and saved, waiting to cash in as if something would just fall right into her lap. As it turns out, that’s exactly how it happened.
We moved to a small town called Yountville, about 2 hours north of San Francisco, in Napa County. I was 12 at the time and had spent about a quarter of my life living in a Jeep. This was the first house I’d ever lived in (not counting my uncle’s), and it beat out the apartment by many, many fathoms. The reason why we moved to California is because our grandma was the owner of a restaurant in the area and Mom came here to be the chef. She begged on her hands and knees for the job, and it paid off. She got it, just like that. And so Alex and my lives just flipped 180 degrees. Suddenly, we had an income! We could afford to live! We finished grade school surrounded by snobby, immature kids, but we really didn’t care about that. We were happier than ever together.
Our graduation was seen as a massive triumph. We called up our friends back in Jersey to tell them of the news. Many of them I still see sometimes, if we ever fly out there. We rarely do anymore. That’s a shame… we had such good times there. But back to the story! Mom sent us to different high schools. She said, “I want you guys to socialize with other people other than just each other for once!” As it turns out, she just engaged what would become the worst time of my life by sending us to different high schools.
I seldom talk about my first high school, if only for the fact that it was a very traumatic time. I went to the school on Day 1 with a smile. I left that school on Day 180 with eighty-three new scars covering my body. Why, I don’t really know. I was abused to a level that I didn’t properly quantify to Mom. See, I told her I was being “bullied,” not being “physically and sexually assaulted.” So there was a disconnect there. When I was 14, however, things started to change for the better. I had been on the wrestling team for freshman year. In addition, I was also on a rifle team. I had a love of the shooting sports I inherited from Grandpa, who taught me to shoot when I was 12 and first moved here. Soon, I was competing on the State-level in Pistol, Rifle, 3-Position Small-Bore, and Ranged fields. I love shooting to this day, and go to the range every other day.
Anyways, back to the story. It was when I was 15 that I first found out about my interest in Alex for something more than a twin brother. I could never forget what happened during those fateful sequence of events, and it all played out exactly how Mom had said it would. It all started on the day that my wrestling career was over. It was the last practice. At this point in time, every day I would be expecting to be hit in some manner at least 3 times a day. That was normal for me. But today was special. I was fighting for my sanity, but never really showed it. I don’t know what I did to set these guys off, but they got pissed. So they did the only sensible thing they could do: if you can’t break something with your hands, use a tool.
In this case, the tool was a 4” long stiletto. There were 7 or 8 guys who held me to the ground in the locker room as one of them comes up behind me and starts flaying my back. He cut me 26 times before stabbing me in the lower left part of my lower back, burying the blade to the hilt and leaving it in there. Then, just like that, they all walked out. I stood up and could feel the blade maneuvering throughout my back. I took out a bobby pin from my head and straightened it with my teeth, then took a cigarette lighter and burned the steel of the pin until it burned red-hot. I then ripped out the dagger in one swift motion and shoved the bobby pin in its place. It honestly felt like I had buried a chainsaw into my gut and my back began to spasm out of control.
I didn’t know if my improvised cauterization had actually worked. I then set to work repairing the rest of my back. I fell down two flights of stairs with a roll of duct tape in hand, since I didn’t have the energy to walk down. I went into the bathroom and laid the duct tape in a checkerboard pattern on the ground. I then took the whole roll of that shitty bathroom toilet paper and bunched it up into great big clots and stuck it on the tape mattress. I laid on the paper and taped the whole thing around my torso. I then tried to get up, but I guess I blacked out, since all I remember after that was waking up in the hospital.
Alex was right there the whole time. He sat in that room with me for two weeks. “You know, your sister was smart… she saved her own life,” the doctor said to him. “She lost three pints of blood. Any more blood and she would have died from blood-loss,” he continued. I honestly didn’t know what to feel. I felt slightly ashamed. I also felt lucky. And I felt, as my brother gripped my hand, that I was ready for that positive thing to happen.
Well, as it turned out, it happened at the school dance. Mom pulled me out of that school the day after. I was now going to the same school as Alex. Honestly, it was like heaven. Suddenly, I wasn’t being punched in the gut every day! I didn’t have to cover up! I felt like I had been missing out. At the same time, I felt a sort of resentment. I never really made a lot of friends, and Yountville was a small town. I was still celibate. I wanted to know what love felt like, but not brother-sister love or mother-daughter love. I wanted to know what lover-lover love feels like.
So we went to the Freshman Semi-Formal, that is, my brother and I. He had just broken up with his girlfriend, with whom he had a quick and rather uneventful relationship. I remember seeing her come to our house and seeing them kiss. It was nothing how I imagined. It felt like he was being used for the sex. It felt all wrong… he was certainly right to dump her. I got ready for the dance with Alex. We lived in a Jeep for a long time, so we were used to the idea of no privacy. It kind of weirded us out, if you will, that many siblings never showed each other their naked bodies. We were different, I guess.
“Honey, are you sure you’re okay with this?” asked Mom. Many of the kids that were at my old school would be there, some of whom I have very distinct, unpleasant memories of and others are just plain assholes. “I’ll be alright,” I whimpered back. “You look out for Jessie, now,” she said, looking at Alex sharply. “Don’t worry, Mom. Jessie will be fine,” he retorted.
By this time, Alex had filled out quite nicely from his drums. He now had a Ludwig drum set that sounded incredible. I picked up guitar at his request, and managed to get into it.
“Okay, so where to first, Jessie?” said Alex.
“You know where…” I quickly snapped back.
“We’re there,” he remarked as we made our way through the crowds to the cafeteria.
He didn’t eat much. He’s always been a picky eater. I eat anything on a plate, but mostly due to my hyperthyroidism. I loaded up like I was an African famine victim and sat down at a table at the back of the cafeteria, away from people. I was beginning to get a migraine and my back was starting to itch. My scars were noticeable from the dress and I didn’t want to have to explain them off. We sat next to each other, like always. We never really sit across from each other. I have problems with eye contact, so it makes it easier when we sit next to each other.
“So Jessie, having a good time?” he said about 20 minutes into eating.
“Ehh… been to better dances,” I replied. “Maybe we should call Mom and have her pick us up.”
“Hmm… yeah, you may be right. Okay, I’ll go to the payphone,” he said. The thing about us is that we never argue. We argued once in our entire lives. Our thoughts are always in sync with each other. Five minutes later, he returns to the table with some more snacks. “She’ll pick us up in ten minutes,” he calmly said while prodding his dish with a fork.
I never really thought of him in a sexual way before. I don’t know what came over me. I just looked into his eyes. No, I didn’t just look into his eyes; I looked beyond that. I felt some sort of sense that I had never felt before. There was a heat that was building in my stomach. It was like butterflies, but it kind of wasn’t. I just looked at him intently, as if trying to read his thoughts. I suddenly recounted our times as kids. He was always there for me. He always took care of me. He comforted me when I was sick, gave me a shoulder when I was upset, cared for me when I was scared, and was there to guide me even when I didn’t realize I needed guidance. And in a heat of passion, almost automatically, I reached my free hand to the back of his head and pulled his lips into mine with the force of an automotive compactor. My body drained its energy into the kiss as I was enveloped with passionate heat, a heat I had never felt before, and it felt good. I wanted more. But it ended as soon as it began.
Five seconds after first contact, I disengaged and ran off outside to think. How could I have done such a thing? Have I just destroyed my relationship with my brother? Of course… I’m 14 years old, and I’m celibate. I have barely even touched the idea of masturbation (no pun intended), let alone consensual sex. And now, this! What does it mean? What was I feeling? I was so confused and alone! And just like that, Mom pulls up in that familiar truck to see me sobbing. “Oh my God, Jessie! Are you alright? Where’s Alex?!” she shouted as she ran to comfort me. “Right here, Mom,” he said from behind me. He was watching me the whole time?! What is going on?
We went home in silence. Mom never asked us what happened. She didn’t want to know, I’m sure, not after what happened just a few weeks earlier. She was probably beating herself up in her head for putting us in that situation. When we got home, I retreated to my room and fell asleep in a pile of my own tears. Alex and I shared a room. We slept on a bunk bed. But tonight, he slept on the couch. Still, even in this dark time, he respected me enough to give me the space I so desperately needed. I guess that’s one of the many reasons why I love him so much to this day.
I awoke the next day with a sense of anxiety trembling throughout my body. “Mom… what does love feel like?” I slowly asked her in private.
“What? Why, honey?” she returned.
“Well… I don’t know… I think I had my first wave of love ever hit me, and I want to confirm my feelings, I suppose,” I gently asked. Mom brushed up against me and put her arm around my shoulder.
“Well, Jessie, love is something that two people feel when they have made one of three decisions. These decisions reflect the different types of love that one can feel,” she explained. I listened intently.
To paraphrase, what Mom said was that there’s Passionate love, Committing love, and Intimate love. Passionate love was shared between two people who are out for sex and not much more. She explained that this is what she had with my father, and is the basis of many one-night-stands and such. Committing love is love that is more for the kids or the money than it is for the person. There is a mutual connection, as the two people fell in love in the first place. However, that love will soon fade and become secondary. Intimate love is love that is shared from a spiritual bond with another individual. This love is much more subtle and sometimes can go unnoticed, but provides the driving force for most long-term, prosperous relationships. Unlike other forms of love, this one also gets better with age.
I felt like I left that table with a little more wisdom than I originally had. But I still didn’t feel at liberty to talk to Alex. That night, however, everything changed. Alex came in the bedroom at around midnight. I was still up, thinking about yesterday. “Jessie… can we talk?” he said in his most passive voice.
“Sure…” I muttered and slid over to allow him to sit.
“Listen, about last night--”
“No, that was nothing. It never happened,” I snapped. Part of me didn’t want me to say that, though, and I instantly regretted it. I saw pain in Alex’s face almost immediately. “I’m sorry, Alex. It’s just… I was scared, and I didn’t know what to do--”
Suddenly, his finger rose up to meet my lips, interrupting my speech. He lightly brushed my cheek and looked deep into my eyes. “I don’t want last night to fade away. I want this moment to last…” he whispered. Tears began forming in my eyes as I slowly felt that pressure build up inside of me. The pressure kept building until I simply couldn’t take it anymore. I took his neck in my hand and our lips met once again. My tongue raced into his mouth as we shared a kiss that would last a lifetime. I couldn’t get enough of it! I wanted to feel his lips locking on mine… needed to experience the sensation of his tongue grinding against my teeth! It was so exquisite; the fire between us grew as our kiss went deeper. I wanted to touch his very soul, and in that moment, every inch of my body was covered in the most erotic heat that I have ever experienced. All of those years of us taking such good care of each other, all of those years of us being such good friends to each other, they all melted with my body as our lips locked in fury and our tongues caressed each other. It felt so good… so… right.
We didn’t break the kiss for a full 15 minutes, but we could’ve kept going. I desperately wanted to, but it was late, and we had school tomorrow. We had to get up in 5 ½ hours. And so we reluctantly parted lips. “What just happened?” I whispered to him as he ran his fingers through my hair. “Something magical…” he murmured into my ear. “Sleep with me…” I silently replied as I laid down with him behind me. I let his arm drape over me and fell asleep. That was the first time we had ever slept in the same bed, and I could only hold on to the hope that it would not be the last.
I had a damn good sleep that night. At the same time, I was still quite restless. I mean, I just made out with my brother! And it wasn’t like we just kissed three times and parted… we full-blown made out, and it felt good! Hell, it felt excellent. I wanted to do this every night! How could I be saying that, though? Why would I want to make out with my twin brother every night? It was something that would bother me for the rest of the day.
That day, I recall, went by devastatingly slow. I could think of nothing but the feel of Alex’s warm, comforting lips pressed against mine, his teeth brushing up against mine, his tongue dancing in step with mine. I hardly even remember class from that day. I was simply too high up on cloud nine to focus. I had to lick my lips several times because they dried up thinking about him. Suddenly, being called “That freaky-eyed girl” didn’t really matter. I remember during class sometime, I kind of stepped back and reflected on the emotions I felt last night. Were those emotions what I would later call “love,” or was it simply a heat-of-the-moment passionate type thing? My eyes cringed at the thought that it could be the latter. No, I wanted this to last.
Mom picked us up that day like every other day, and we tried our best to act normal. But it was very hard, and we soon found ourselves locking eyes together again. I knew just what I wanted, and so did he.
When we got home, we sat down around the table, like usual, and had ourselves some snacks. “So, how was your day, guys?” Mom inquired from the living room.
“Long,” I replied, still looking deeply into Alex’s eyes.
“Oh, Jessie? Could you come here, hun?” Mom added. My heart sank at leaving Alex. He gave me one of his “to be continued” nods. I suppose that’s just a twin thing. We’ve become professionals at communicating nonverbally, albeit only with each other. I can’t really do it with other people. It’s funny like that, how sometimes you just find it a struggle with every person but one or two people.
“There you are! I need you to do your laundry,” Mom finished as I came down the hallway. I reluctantly picked up my dirty clothes out of the hamper. I always had a distinct love of flannel. I had a nice collection of about 25 to 30 flannel shirts I’ve gathered over the years. I also loved my Daisy Dukes and my jeans. I love the feeling of good denim. So usually, you could find me in a T-shirt, jeans, and a flannel every fall, the same thing but with a (non-puffy) jacket in the winter, and a shirt and daisies in the spring. In the summer I’d get really ecstatic, because then I could break out the tank tops, which is what I’m washing now. I love my tank tops! I don’t really know why; I guess it’s because I’ve been wearing tanks ever since I was a little girl. Nowadays, I have a whole bunch that I love wearing on those hot summer days.
However, the summer, fast-approaching, was also home to my ailment: overheating. My internal thermostat was always set way too high. My body never gets cold, but seems to get overheated very quickly. It compensates for this by having a very efficient air-conditioning system, and so I sweat like a pig, another gift from my grandfather that’s less pleasing than my eyes. So it’s more or less out of necessity that I wear Daisies and tanks in the summer, but I like those, so it all works out. I have very long legs at 34” inseams to a 5’9 frame, and I love showing them off. I think my two favorite things about my body are my eyes and my legs.
I was just about done folding laundry when Alex comes in to do his own. My body begins to moisten at his mere presence. He gives a quick glance out in the hallway, and then moves towards me. My lips couldn’t meet his fast enough. That same explosion of passion erupts between us, if only for a few seconds, lest Mom hear us moaning into each other’s mouths. I soon began wondering what would happen if we took it one step further, if we went to second-base. Hmmm…
It didn’t happen. Mom came in to check on us, and we decided to leave it on a high note and he returned to doing his laundry. With nothing else to do, I left and made myself some dinner. Still, I wondered, what would it feel like? I’ve never had anyone touch my boobs before. I’m sure Alex has seen a few sets, from his two ex-girlfriends and from various other people. What would he think of mine-- no, wait, what am I saying? Do I honestly want him to see my boobs? How could I be so… so… I don’t even know. But it just felt too damn good to stop now!
This continued on for about a month. He never pressured me to take the extra step. We were both perfectly content with making out, and that’s it. The more we did it, the more of that exquisite feeling started to leak out to other activities, too. Whenever we would be close to each other, I could feel my body temperature begin to climb. What a feeling it was! I never wanted it to end! But one night, it had to.
We looked into each other’s eyes once again, as if to communicate some sort of message to each other. I knew right then and there that we were deeply in love. I could not pry my hands off him as my lips rose to meet his. I welcomed his palette, as I have several times before. The warm, delicate sensation carried me to a land far away, where there was no physical world, just Alex and I together. I wanted to stay there until the day I died. I wanted to be with him until the day I died. And right there, in our most passionate, heated moment together, a knock at the door.
“Jessie? Alex? Can I talk to you two for a few seconds?” Reluctantly, our lips disengaged. “Coming, Mom!” shouted Alex through the door. I straightened up my hair, a bit shaggy from Alex caressing my head, and went into the kitchen, where Mom waited.
“What’s the problem, Mom? It’s kind of late,” I started, motioning to my wristwatch.
“Shh…” she began in her loving voice that only a mother had, “I want you to tell me exactly what you two are doing late at night. I’ve noticed a change in your behavior towards each other in the past month or so since the dance. Now, I want the truth,” she said benignly. My heart sank. We’re finished. Mom always knew when we were lying. It was one of her jobs of being a mom.
“Well, Mom…” I began, but I felt a lump rise up to my throat. I was paralyzed. Just then, Alex saves the day again.
“Mom, Jessie and I have been sharing kisses with each other. I’m so sorry,” he finished with pain in his voice.
Mom smiled and said, “Jessie, Alex, please continue.” We looked at each other, thinking it was a trap. But we’ve dug ourselves this far down already, so there wasn’t much else. I started off first.
“Mom, this is why I was curious to know what love felt like. It’s odd… when I’m around Alex, it’s as if time stops, and he’s the only thing that matters. I can feel my body temperature rise and there’s this… buildup of emotion. When I see him, I think of all the times he was there for me, all the times he cared for me and provided for me. And all of that culminated in a kiss, and brings me to the best feelings I’ve ever had.”
“The same goes for me, Mom,” he started off, “when I see Jessie, I know from the bottom of my heart that we were made for each other. I look into her eyes and see… I don’t know. I wish I could describe it. It’s so vivid, the emotions I feel, when we’re together. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.” He breathed a bit and after a brief pause, took my hand gently. “And I don’t care what anyone else says about us. I love her unconditionally, with all of my heart, as a brother. But now I’m beginning to realize that maybe there’s something more to it. Maybe I love her as more than just a sister.”
“And I’m slowly realizing the same thing, Mom,” I interjected, gripping his hand tightly, “Alex is my brother, and as a brother I have always and will always love him. But I’m discovering that there’s a new, untapped layer to that love. It’s a journey that we’re excited to embark on together, and we won’t leave each other for anything.” I think we did the best we can. But I still felt that unease in my stomach.
Mom leaned back in her chair, as if taking in everything we said. And we said a lot. She sat there for a good 15 minutes. We never let go of each other’s hand. Then, she leaned forward to us. We both felt like we were going to crap ourselves. What would happen? Would she send us both away to somewhere far away where we’d never see each other again? We could only hope that our hands embracing each other at that moment did not represent the last time we’d ever touch each other again.
“Okay, guys. You do realize what you’ve said?” We looked at each other and nodded. “And you two truly feel this way?” Again, we simply nodded. “Okay, then. Here’s what I’m going to do. You two are to have absolutely no physical contact anywhere unless I give you permission.” Tears started forming already. “Don’t think of it as a punishment, now. I want to see if you two are truly serious about this. If you are, then it is my duty as a mother to support your decisions, and I will. I give you my word. But first, you have to earn that privilege. Therefore, you will spend a good amount of time with no physical contact. I encourage you to talk and be together whenever possible, just no contact. This is to see if you two are in love with each other or are in love with the feeling of touching each other.”
It made sense. But it also made me very depressed. We humbly agreed and asked for one final kiss. Mom obliged and told us to do it in our room. We had never kissed so passionately before or since. I couldn’t believe it would all end like this for the next… who knows how long. I wrapped my whole body around his, as if I was trying to force myself underneath his skin. I wanted this moment to be remembered for as long as we lived. And so far, I’ve been holding up that promise to myself. Our lips met each other in wave after wave of passionate release, his hands running through my hair and down my back. I kissed his forehead, kissed his cheeks, kissed every inch of his face. Then, with a final, exquisite kiss on the lips that lasted for millennia, we parted lips for the first time in a half-hour, not to reunite for some time.
Months fell off the calendar as my lips longed to be with his. We did just as Mom told us to do. We never so much as shook hands. It was common practice in our house to hold our word, if not from an honorable standpoint, but from the standpoint that Mom knows everything that happens between us two. And knowing us, we couldn’t hide it too well if we started making out again. So we stayed at arms’ length. For me, it was the most painful time I’ve had since freshman year. My 15th year of living had proven to be one that I would remember of only for how much of a roller-coaster ride it was. First, I was this mess that was being assaulted every day at school. Then I was in the happiest time of my life with Alex, my brother and, if my definition of my emotions suffice, my lover as well. Now, I’m back to being slightly depressed, but also overjoyed at my mother’s decision not to ostracize me or Alex. What a ride.
Six long months went by, during which Alex and I held up our end of the bargain. We enjoyed playing video games together, going out to the movies, getting something to eat together, and just generally doing things a boyfriend and girlfriend do. After a while, we didn’t really notice that ban on our contact. We were madly in love, and it didn’t matter if we had no arms to touch, no mouth to kiss, and no legs to embrace. We could be zapped into amoebas and still be in love with each other. Then one cold day, Mom came in with us in tow, putting on the microwave and heating up some hot chocolate. Then, she decided to bake us some homemade lasagna. She hadn’t baked lasagna in years! Something must have happened. The touching ban never crossed our mind.
“What’s the occasion?” Alex started as he ate the amazing dish. I always loved Mom’s cooking. It truly was her calling. “No occasion, guys. Just wanted to something nice for you two love-birds,” she said through her food. We looked at each other, puzzled. We knew what she was doing. She was reading our faces to see if we’d broken her promise. Genuinely, we did not. We knew we wouldn’t have been able to pull it off. So we sat there in silence and ate.
“Good food, Mom,” I said. It was honestly some of the best lasagna I’ve ever had.
“Thanks, Jessie,” she replied, wiping her mouth with her napkin. “You two want seconds?” she said as she got up, taking her plate. “There’s plenty more!”
We followed her with our own empty plates and took another big piece. We couldn’t get enough. It was such damn good lasagna. She sat us back down again and we ate. “So… what do you guys think I should do with you…” she said. At this point, we were genuinely confused. “Umm… care to elaborate, Mom?” I said through my food.
“Oh, don’t ‘Mom?’ me. I’ve seen the way you look at Alex. And Alex, I’ve seen how you look at Jessie,” she said stoically. “Any mom would do the sensible thing and lock their kids up in dungeons on opposite sides of the world.” We had to agree with that. We were unquestionably in love. It was written all over our faces. A blind man with the IQ of a garden gnome could see that. I started to open my mouth. “Don’t interrupt, Jessica,” she snapped. Oh, boy. When she used my full name, that’s when shit got serious. We were dead. Suddenly, a smile crept up on her face.
“But I’m not that kind of mom that would do something like that to her children. I can see it in your eyes. You two are in love, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it,” she sighed. We were on our toes. You could cut our anxiety with a butterknife. Hell, you could cut it with a blunt stick. “So I’m going to lay down some ground rules. First, nobody knows that you two are both brother and sister and boyfriend and girlfriend outside of this house. If you want to tell anyone, it needs to go through me. Second, if you two get serious, you better tell me so I can start you on the pill. And third, please don’t do more than give a kiss to each other in front of me. I don’t want to see tongue action, either. The idea of you guys doing anything is repulsive enough. I don’t want to see it for real. Just put up a courtesy sign or something on your door. Respect those rules, and you’re free to do as you please.”
We stared at her, wide-eyed. My food fell out of my mouth, I was so shocked! Did our mom actually just say what I think she said?! Alex and I looked at each other in disbelief. I felt a mix of disbelief, ecstasy, and just plain “what-the-fuck-just-happened.” By the look on his face, his expression painted the same story. “Mom… do- does this mean…?” I stuttered.
“Yes. Now get out of here. I’ve got to clean up the food.” She was serious! “Go, before I change my mind, you two love-birds, go!”
We needed no more convincing. We both retreated to our room and put on some music on our stereo hooked up to the iPod. Alex cycled through to some smooth jazz. The song was S’Wonderful by Diana Krall. We still play that song from time to time whenever we do something like this.
Alex sat down next to me and put his arm over my shoulder. It was the first time he’d done that in six months. His touch sent electrifying shivers down my spine, making my toes curl up within my socks. “We’ve been waiting for this moment for a very long time, Jessie. Let’s make it last,” he whispered in my ear. Naturally, I am happy to oblige.
I put my leg up and over him, turning my whole body to face him, sitting on his lap. My arms draped over his neck, letting my body hang freely for a few seconds before returning to battery. I thumbed through his thick blonde hair as I stared intensely and passionately into his eyes once again.
My whole body trembled as our lips met for the first time in months. The fire between us instantly erupted into a blazing inferno as we engaged every part of our bodies that moved into the kiss. My hips moved rhythmically up and down his legs as our lips parted and rejoined with greater intensity each time. I could feel his soul drawing closer to mine, drenching my body with its essence like torrential rain. We uncontrollably moaned into each other’s mouths, and I drank up every last inch of passion-filled moan that he shared with me.
Out of instinct, I broke the kiss and shed my shirt as if it were on fire and tossed it into the hamper. My bra remained on, though. Alex’s hand moved to caress my bare back, brushing over the many scars it bore, paving it over with the essence of his being. Again, he broke the long-overdue kiss and started to kiss down my chest, never taking his hands off my back. His tongue found my bellybutton and started gently circling it, sending shivers down my spine where his hands greeted them in earnest. I was in heaven, and he was right there beside me. And just like that, he disengaged. “Jessie… I don’t want to rush this. I want to savor every last moment we have together. No further, please…” he pleaded. With tears in my eyes, I kissed him long and well on the lips for a full 10 seconds to seal the deal. “Thank you,” he gently whispered as his hand brushed my ear.
Every morning, we said “I love you” a little differently since then. For the next two months or so, we came home to each other’s warm embrace. At school, we had plenty of classes together, but everyone already knew we were brother and sister, so it wasn’t weird at all to see us together so much. However, we maintained a strict minimum-touch policy to maintain Rule 5 of Incest Club, as we called it, to allude to one of our favorite books, Fight Club.
Our rules were simple. Rule 1 is we do not talk about Incest Club. Rule 2 is we do not talk about Incest Club. Rule 3 is that what happens in Incest Club stays in Incest Club. Rule 4 is no joining other clubs (AKA no cheating. To this day, fortunately, we’ve never brought this rule up again, since it was never a concern for either of us). Rule 5 is that people either know we’re boyfriend and girlfriend or brother and sister, never both, unless Mom gives us the go-ahead. Rule 6 is that we must respect each other’s word during club hours. Rule 7 is that we must always leave on a high note. And the 8th and final rule is that Incest Club meetings take place everywhere and nowhere (We do it, clean up after, and leave no evidence of anything behind). We felt like these guidelines could maintain our relationship realistically, and so far, it has been going pretty well.
We turned 16 on Valentine’s Day, and had another intense make-out session to celebrate. Then, Mom knocks on our door just as we finished. I guess she heard the moans die down. “You guys done? We got stuff to do?” Reluctantly, I got off my brother and put a shirt on, with him following suit. We went to the kitchen, where a bunch of forms were sitting. “Guess what, you two? For your 16th birthday, you get job applications!”
Now, at first, we were very upset about this. Why hadn’t Mom given us something that she could… I don’t know… wrap and put a bow on or something? “Ugh, thanks…” we both reluctantly muttered. “Once you two are done, come out to the backyard. I have something I’d like to tell you,” she continued, walking out to the backyard, which had these three green lawn chairs on a patch of grass that looked like it was inside of a packaging that read, “1:20 scale.”
“Wait… Jessie, look at the address on these applications,” said Alex. My eyes glanced down… what?! These places were all in Montana! “Hmmm… that’s odd. Well, we do have our uncle there, who’s a realtor… maybe Mom is moving again soon,” I said.
“I don’t know. Let’s just fill these out,” said Alex. We both told Mom that we should start working about a month earlier and gave her input on where we’d like to go. She picked out a bunch of places and sent for applications, apparently. Once we’d finished, we went out back.
“Now, I know how you guys must be disappointed that you didn’t get much for your birthday, and I’m out here to tell you two that you’re sorely mistaken,” she said coyly. We knew she was up to something big. “Did you two happen to hear a tow truck pull up to our house when you were filing those?”
“Yeah, but we thought it was just the guys next door… why, what is it?” The guys next door owned a plumbing firm and frequently had big trucks and vans pull in and out.
Now, before we go out front, let me tell you something. Mom was always living below her means. She was now the head chef at Grandma’s restaurant making a nice $78,000 a year. However, we lived in a one-story little house with next to no backyard in a dumpy part of town. Why? Because that’s all we needed. We didn’t want any luxuries because Mom raised us in a practical manner. To this day, we don’t have a cellphone. All we have are prepaid phones with 60 pre-loaded minutes that have been gathering dust for three years.
As a sidebar, when I was 7 and Mom was working at a daycare, we’d pull up to the parking lot and Mom would get out of the Jeep to sign off the clock sometimes because she’d forget to and her boss would come out to remind her. Well, one time, she forgot to sign off, and while she was, a white and blue Jeep CJ-7 pulls up beside us and this young woman gets out. I remember the truck like yesterday. It was white with painted blue rims and a blue Renegade sign across the side of the hood. It looked dirty as hell and had the top down. I looked at that truck and was instantly hooked by the skin of my teeth. I absolutely had to have one. This obsession grew to an obsession of all cars, but especially Jeeps. My brother got the bug too, and ever since that day, we’ve always wanted two Jeeps for ourselves.
So my mom walks us out front to the driveway, where we found two tarps covering what looked to be quite tall silhouettes of nothing recognizable. “I put ribs in the tarps because I want you guys to guess what kind of cars you’re getting,” she said. The biggest smiles went across our faces as we hugged our mom with great enthusiasm. I honestly was blown away. She bought us cars! I didn’t care if it was a Fiat. I was so happy!
Well, Mom did not disappoint. The amount of emotion that washed over me brought me to tears as I lifted the canvas tarp to reveal that beautiful truck that I had eyed for 9 years of my life. It was white with blue decals, too, just like the one I found that I described to her is such great detail over the years! It did not have the Renegade logo, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything at that moment! “Go on, Jessie, hop in,” she said, tossing me the keys. I savored the weight of them in my hand as I opened the soft canvas door. “And don’t think I forgot about you,” she said to Alex, who gleefully unwrapped his present. Holy crap! It was a Cherokee! And a Limited on top of that! That’s an even better model than Mom’s! We felt like the luckiest people on the face of the Earth! “I love you, Mom!” was all I could muster as I ran over to give her the biggest hug I’d ever given her.
And so life was good. We got our permits a week later, and our Jeeps were right there begging to be driven. We still had to drive with Mom in the passenger seat, but we really didn’t care. We had the Jeeps, we had a loving mother, and most importantly, we had each other. Each and every day seemed to bring us closer together. We maintained a silence in public as we promised, and went crazy at night. But we never went farther than making out. Not until a couple of weeks later, when we were visited by an old friend…
I had seen my father maybe twice in my life: once when I was born, and once when I was six, just before we immigrated. So I didn’t recognize him at first. He just stared at Alex and I, standing in the doorway. “What are your names?” he inquired.
“I’m Jessie, and this is Alex,” I replied. He asked for our last names, and it felt like he was trying to prod something. We told him, to which he bent over and told us that he was our father. So I greeted him the only way I knew how.
In wrestling, I learned how to take down someone bigger than me, and that’s just what I did. I came in low and fast, taking his leg with my elbow and plunging the two of us down the front stoop. In one swift motion, I reached my leg over his torso and clutched his ribcage in between my legs, cutting off his air. I gave him a swift left hook to the jaw, dazing him for an instant. I took advantage by standing up above him, sprawled on the ground, bleeding from the fall. My hiking boot found its place in his mouth in a devastating kick that dislocated his jaw and knocked out three of his teeth. “That’s for leaving us! Now stay gone!!” I shouted, crying hysterically. He limped back to his black BMW and sped off. He couldn’t do anything. The cops knew who he was. They’d have nailed a significant member of an Italian crime family. So we got away that time.
Alex came up beside me and gave me that all-important shoulder to cry on. I didn’t want any part of my father entering my life. I was devastated by the idea. When Mom came to the door, I had told her what had happened. It all happened in about 20 seconds… it felt like 20 minutes. I’d be satisfied if I never saw him again. To this day, we never have. Mom hugged Alex and I gently as we both sobbed over what had happened.
That night, Alex and I decided to do something special. My tongue launched into his mouth as we kissed and groped each other in a non-sexual, but still very sensual, manner. But I wanted more. If we were going to do this, I was ready. It had been about a year of holding back. I was ready to take the next step. “Are you sure about this?” he whispered in between kisses. “I’m sure,” I returned with a long, passionate kiss to seal the deal. He moved his hands up my back, running up the rough ridges of my scars, reaching my bra strap. He unbuckled it and I let it slide to our hips.
It was the first time I had ever shown my breasts to anyone. “Be gentle,” I whispered as I wisped his hair in between my fingers. His tongue traced a pattern down my chest to my breastplate as he started on my right breast. I could feel the warm, wet tongue dancing around my areola in a most sensuous pattern. His right hand came up to greet my other tit as he squeezed it gently in my hand. He gently pinched my nipple in between his fingers as he sucked on the other. Electricity shot to the back of my throat as I moaned in pleasure.
His hand started to travel lower, down to my bellybutton, then reaching my navel. “Just tell me when to stop. I don’t want to hurt you, baby,” he whimpered as his hand massaged the sensitive area just above my opening. The music was playing. The phone was off the hook. The lights were soft in the gentle glow of his eyes. I desired every inch of his being, every single molecule, and tonight, we will take each other. He softly kissed me as his hand glided, exploring that restricted area at its own leisure.
My hand reached for his cock and found its mark. I had never felt one before. It was hard as a rock through his jeans. Without breaking the kiss, we both got up and shed the rest of our garments. My hand wrapped around his flesh, caressing his cock. My right hand came up and grabbed his head, pulling his lips even closer. His hand brushed over my vaginal opening, and I suddenly felt a jolt of passion shoot through my body. He did it again, and again… my body was shaking too much, so we sat back down, with me sitting on his lap. His hand cupped my pussy, rubbing it in a circular motion, sending me into the clouds.
The more he did it, the faster I pumped his cock. Soon, I was pumping it faster than a car’s cylinder head, and he loved it. His moans made my hair stand on end as we kissed deeply. Just then, I felt a shot of ecstasy shoot me through the ceiling and looked down to realize that his finger was deep inside of me. I rode it hard, and soon two of his fingers fit in there, albeit barely. I could feel my pussy clench as the juices drenched his fingers. My own fingers started to get damp from his pre-cum, which started oozing from that beautiful cock of his.
“Can I taste it, baby?” I moaned. He nodded, and I broke the kiss, traveling down to his pelvis, kissing the whole way down. His hands moved from my pussy to my breasts, caressing them softly. My tongue flicked across the head and it twitched. It tasted sweet, but I couldn’t place it akin to anything I’ve tasted before. But I loved that sweet nectar. I wanted more of it. So I took it all in my mouth, well, as much as I can. He was a big boy, about 9 inches of solid cock that curled up like a banana. I sucked and licked as best I can, and my actions were rewarded with a look of pure ecstasy on his face. “Oh, God, here it comes… oh God… ARRRRRGGGHHH!!!” He shouted uncontrollably as his whole body contorted. Rope after delicious rope shot into my mouth, and I drank it delightfully. It didn’t taste bad at all, and besides, knowing how much I pleased him was enough. His face relaxed after about a minute of flying high in sheer pleasure, and knowing it was my touch that did it was a beautiful feeling.
“My turn, baby,” he said warmly, motioning me to come up. I did so without hesitation as we switched sides. I sat on the edge of the bed, my pussy so damp that it made a small puddle on the floor. He slipped his fingers into my hungry depths. I was no stranger to this, as I obviously did it myself. But these fingers were absolutely exquisite. I let out a massive sigh as my brother fingered me to the heavens. Then I felt his tongue brush up against my clit and flicked it slightly. Oh my God. This blew everything out of the water. I hadn’t lived until this moment. My whole body trembled with absolute sheer pleasure as I approached a massive orgasm.
“Oh, yeah… yes, Alex, fuck your sister! Finger her hard! Yes!” I shouted as I pushed his head into my pussy. One more flick of his tongue off my clit sent me over the edge.
“Oh, fuck, brother! Fuck, I’m cumming! Oh my FUUUUUUCCCKKKIINNNG GOOOODDDD!!!! AAHHHHH!!!” I screamed. I shouted so loudly, I probably woke the dead. My body seized up as I was overtaken by the most incredible orgasm I had ever experienced. Juices gushed from my depths like the Amazon River as my body convulsed and jittered every which way, his tongue never leaving my pussy. It was so amazing, so beautiful! His face lifted from in between my legs, licking the tops of them from the kneecaps to my navel. Looking into his eyes, I knew right then and there that I loved him to death and beyond, that nothing would ever separate us from each other.
Of course, this was but one of many layers of love that we had with each other. And while this love will never be fully satisfied, we were still brother and sister. As such, we needed to attend to that love, too. So we did the most sensible thing we could think of. We put on the Xbox 360 and played Call of Duty together, in absolute bliss, butt-naked.
We both loved video games. We got hooked on gaming when we were 8 or 9 and started walking down to the arcade to play Mortal Kombat. Ever since, we’ve been playing constantly. We also loved hiking, fishing, camping… anything relating to the outdoors. Today, we still play Xbox a ton. We’re on every day. Usually I’m the one playing, though. I love my shooters and my racers, but most of all, I love killing lots and lots of zombies! We’ve had Xbox Live for 4 years as of this writing, and about 43,000 Gamerscore, which is way too much (If you want, PM me for my gamertag! We can play sometime, time allowing!).
This cycle of mutual masturbation continued for another two months or so before we moved to Montana. Our uncle, a realtor in the area, hooked us up with the house there. We got jobs there, too, with me becoming an apprentice at a local garage and Alex working at a music store. And once again, life seemed good. The move wasn’t too bad, either. The house is actually very nice. It has 2 bedrooms and a bathroom. One bedroom is upstairs, another in the basement. The bathroom is decent and situated just at the foot of the stairs so anyone can reach it easily. The kitchen is very nice and the living room was actually a decent size. Behind the house is a massive plot of woods that horseshoed the whole house and placed about 250 feet between us and our neighbors. “That’s so you don’t wake the neighbors with your orgasms,” Mom said. We chuckled awkwardly at this. We parked our trucks on a dirt mound off to one side of the house; there was no real driveway. It’s just a dirt trail.
Our uncle set up the house before we arrived. “So, you two fine with sleeping in the same room?” he said to us. We chuckled. If only he knew!
“Yes, they are. They aren’t shy,” said Mom nonchalantly, sensing we might fuck it up. Honestly, she was probably right.
“Okay, then. You’re all set,” he said, handing over the keys. Because he’s our uncle, we got a nice bargain on the house. Rent is only $1200 a month for the place! Behind the woods is also a crisp lake that was stocked with small-mouth bass and sunfish, which we love!
The door barely had time to shut before I jumped on Alex. As our lips locked, I forgot Mom was there. “Ahem, please, you two. Get a room,” she said, jokingly.
“Oh… sorry, Mom,” I apologized.
“It’s alright, Jessie. I can tell you’re enthusiastic. Now run off. I have some food to make to celebrate!” she said, pointing to downstairs. “Oh, and by the way, I threw out your bunk beds,” she added. What?! I loved those bunk beds!
Holding hands, we made our way downstairs to find an even better sight. It was a queen size! “It’s perfect!!” I joyfully beamed, jumping on top. Alex wasn’t far behind, and he landed beside me. We chuckled as our lips met once again, and soon, we were too caught up in each other to hear the door open. Mom walked down without us knowing, since our moans drowned out everything. “You know…” she began. My lips shot off his like lightning. “…You two really need to learn to be more observant.” She laughed a bit, defusing the situation. “Come on up. The casserole is still hot.”
“So how do you two like your jobs so far?” she inquired, to begin the conversation.
“Honestly, I really like my job. I’m learning a lot at the garage. I’m hoping I can begin working on my CJ soon,” I started. Mom nodded her head in approval.
“Yeah, mine is also awesome. I’m going to get an employee discount for that new snare I’ve always wanted! It’s great!” Alex continued.
“Meet any new friends?” she asked. That was not an old question.
“Not yet… it’s only been about a week up here. Many of the people need to warm up to the friendly, neighborhood freaky-eyed witch,” I said.
“Yeah, same. But I have met a couple of people that seem to like me so far. I remember you telling me that it’s important to make friends with the manager, so that’s what I’m trying to do.”
“Well, now, remember Alex… it’s important to develop a strong business relationship. Don’t involve your manager too much. It may backfire on you,” she warned. Alex nodded and had some more casserole.
A month later, we started Year 1 in our new school, this time as juniors. My classmates were still similar. Most knew me for my eyes being two different colors. But the difference was that we were relatively unknown. That is, until attendance was called. I wish we could’ve been just boyfriend and girlfriend, but still, it was not meant to be. We were brother and sister and nothing more in the public eye. For the year, we did the same basic thing we did every year. We went to school, put on a face, came home, played video games, did homework, ate, jacked each other off, then played some more games or just fell asleep.
This went on, and we were perfectly content with it playing out like this. But underneath it all was a sort of pressure building up. Every time I sucked his cock, every time he flicked my clit, every mind-blowing orgasm I had, I knew that one day, we would have to let all inhibitions down. I wanted him to take my virginity.
I remember the day that it had happened. His friend and he went out on a camping trip. It was his work friend, and I knew it was for the best, since he needed the social time. But at the same time, my pussy was not the only thing that felt lonely. Every inch of me yearned for him. We had not been separated since we fell in love. He literally had to pry me off of his lips when he went out to his friend’s pickup. I actually started to feel sick to my stomach that day.
“Jessie, what’s wrong?” Mom said with a concerned look on her face.
“I don’t know, Mom… I just miss him so much. I can’t believe he’s going to be gone for five days…” I whimpered into her shoulder.
“Oh, yeah, five whole days! Come on Jessie, you’re being overdramatic. Calm down and put this into perspective,” she said as she pet my hair.
“But Mom… what if he gets hurt or lost? What if he never comes home?” I whined, sobbing into her shoulder.
“Oh, honey… he’ll be fine. And besides, he probably misses you more. Don’t think of the time spent alone. Think of what you have to look forward to when he comes home!” That’s Mom for you, always thinking on the positive side of things. She and Alex both had this quality about them. Even in the worst of times, they both saw a positive. Someday, I hope to be that strong. I really wanted to do something nice for him, and I think I had a good idea of what had to be done.
It was the longest weekend of my life. I played Call of Duty 4 to pass the time, but even that didn’t do the trick. So I just kind of rotted. It felt like my other half had packed its bags and left. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I couldn’t function without my love. Well, I shouldn’t say that. I wasn’t obsessed. But everything just seemed to take on a bit of a lackluster vibe to it. I just didn’t know what to do to pass the time.
Work and school especially went by slowly. It felt as if I had worked for 6 days instead of 6 hours that first Saturday. And every day after that, it felt like 3 days. School was equally tedious. I found myself staring out the window, imagining his embrace. I could feel myself getting wet just thinking about it, and every day I had to show up to school with a piece of washcloth in my panties. Mom did her best to keep me optimistic, though. Both Alex and I started investing some cash into our Jeeps. We both had them outfitted with some beefy 35” tires on 4” lift kits, but that’s about all we could afford so far after working for only roughly 5 months.
Why did he even want to go out now? It was in the dead of winter! Mom said that they went into the woods, where the trees broke up the chilling breeze down to a tolerable level. It was a harsh winter, though, and I worried about him every second. Mom assured me that he was smart enough to handle himself, though. I could only hope so for those five long, cold days. To be honest, I was kind of happy he had gone. He remembers the excursion fondly to this day, and he made a few new friends on the hiking trail.
But that day when he came home is the day I remember most fondly. “Alex!!” I shouted to him as he raced down the dirt path covered in snow. I didn’t even put on my hiking shoes. They just suddenly appeared on my feet. I ran to him through snow that was about two feet deep in nothing but a tank top and boy-shorts to greet him. I jumped into his arms, firmly planting my lips on his, forcing my tongue down his mouth as far as it would go. I never wanted to let go. “Wow, Jessie… missed me?”
“Shut up and kiss me, brother!!” I shouted. He humbly obliged as we embraced on the light tarp of fresh powder that was beginning to fall. “Come inside, Alex. Let’s warm you up,” I insisted, tugging his arm all the way to the front door.
“Mom! Look what the cat dragged in!” I shouted. Mom came in from the kitchen with a nice, warm mug of hot chocolate. “Alex! You must be freezing! Here, have a sip,” she remarked, watching him begin to shiver. “Thanks, Mom. How could you tell?” he said, jokingly. “The pickup didn’t have heating in it. Bummer,” he continued. Wow, that sucks.
We all sat down together and had some dinner. He told us all about what had happened, but at the time, I had no interest in that at all. I needed him badly. It was written all over my face. My pussy was as moist as a rainforest in anticipation. After we were done eating, I invited him to come downstairs in about an hour. I wanted to make this memorable. And not just plain old ordinary memorable. I wanted us to remember this moment for the rest of our lives.
I put the adjustable lights on a soft light after doing my makeup. My hair was straightened and tied back to a low ponytail. The room was straightened to a tee, and my makeup was applied just right. I know how much he loves my eyes, so I applied two different colored eye makeup to accentuate each different color. My right eye had a sky blue and smoke eye shadow and some light mascara, while my left eye had a hazelnut colored eye shadow and dark eyeliner to enhance the brown. The blue eye is naturally vivid, and thus did not need a lot of makeup. I made up just perfectly, with a touch of lip gloss and mascara. I used the good shampoo as well that morning to give my hair that shine that I loved. After about an hour or so, I was ready.
A half-hour later, the door opens and down comes Alex. He must have known this was a special occasion; his dress was impeccable. I put on a short, blue silk dress with calf-high boots and arm-length gloves, but this just blew me away. He wore this beautiful suit… it had a wine red top with black pants, a matching black vest over that, and a granite tie. His hair was neatly groomed and his shoes shined like his eyes in the dim light. I turned to jelly as he approached me and flicked his eyes. “Jessie… baby… you look amazing,” he said, cupping his hand on my cheek. His touch felt so warm, so sensual.
“Alex… words can’t describe how I feel right now…” I said through tears beginning to collect.
“Then let’s not use words…” he whispered in my ear before planting his lips firmly but softly on mine. We circled each other, lips locked, dancing in no particular fashion or step. “Oh, Alex…” I said, breaking the kiss.
“Yes, baby?” he quietly returned, sensing my concern.
“Are you sure about this? I mean… is this truly what you want?” I asked. I didn’t want him to do anything he didn’t want to do. His hand travelled from my back to my hand, pulling both of them up. He cupped my hand lightly and kissed it.
“Of course, Jessie. You are the one I love, the only one I love. I want this so badly. I want to be with you forever,” he delicately spoke to me before lightly bringing his body towards mine in a soft hug. “I would never disrespect you, nor will I ever love anyone greater than you. I am yours. Will you be mine?”
Words needn’t be said to answer such a question. A kiss was sufficient to convey the answer in every sense. We broke the hug, holding each other’s hands, still circling in the dim light. Although it was dark, his face had never shown brighter. This was the face of my love, my one and only. His smile is imprinted in me forever. He was no longer just a brother to me now; he was much more than that. He and I were connected in a way that neither of us could quantify nor have envisioned possible. I wanted him now, more than ever, to not only have my virginity, but to have my soul, forever bonding us together as one spiritual entity.
“Oh, Alex… Take me…” I whispered. He gently picked me up and kissed me. I was placed on the bed, never breaking the kiss. I let the dress wash down to my waist, exposing my bare breasts. His hands gently caressed them as I lifted myself, removing the dress completely. I took off my gloves and let my bare hands wander down his back. Never breaking the kiss, he unbuttoned and took off his shirts, our hands perusing over our naked bodies. He took his belt off and unbuttoned his pants, letting them fall to the floor with his boxers. He stepped out of his pants and got on top of me as I laid down flat on my back on the queen-size bed. He positioned his cock at the entrance to my pussy, letting the head dance up and down the walls.
“You sure about this, Jessie?” he asked one last time.
“Oh, please, brother… Please take me… Take my virginity!” I begged.
He humbly obliged as I felt his head slowly start finding its bearings inside my virgin love tunnel. I can feel him going in farther until he reached my hymen. “Okay… this may hurt a little…” he warned as he touched it with his head. “Tell me when you want me to continue,” he whispered further.
“Go on, brother,” I muttered back. I felt a slight sting and my face crimped up a bit as he broke my hymen. Right then and there, I sort of realized just what had happened. My twin brother, my mother’s son, had just taken my virginity! Society says I should be ashamed of myself, but I felt no such shame. I was on cloud nine. The Four Horsemen could have come out of the closet, and neither of us would have cared.
“Okay… keep going…” I whimpered as he slowly began again. At first, it felt a little uncomfortable, but it soon ended as my pussy adjusted to his thickness. Soon, he was burying himself to the hilt in me. It was the most amazing feeling I’d ever had. “Ahhhh…” I moaned as his thrusts brushed my clit, sending me through the ceiling. “Yes, my brother… yes! Fuck - ugh- fuck your sis - ugh- sister!”
I felt like I was going to explode. Blood rushed to my pussy, drenching the nerve endings, sending shockwaves through my body with each powerful stroke of Alex’s cock. I felt good in places that didn’t even exist! “Oh, yes!! Keep pounding! Yes, Alex!! Fuck me, brother!!” I shouted over the sound of our flesh snapping off each other as his speed increased. I could feel myself building to the climax that would end all climaxes as my heart raced faster than a race horse. “Oh, God, yes, Alex!! Yes, right there!!” I screamed as he pulled me up slightly, increasing friction on my clit.
“Sit on me, baby,” he instructed, pulling out. My body was absolutely trembling. Sweat poured down my brow as I sat on his cock and began to ride him. “Oh, yes… faster, sister! Faster!” he shouted as I rode him like a bucking bronco.
“Oh, yes, sister! Yes! Yes! Yes!” he shouted at the top of his lungs. His cock was rubbing my clit every time it passed, and I knew it wouldn’t be long. “Oh, yeah, brother! Cum inside of me! I want to feel it’s warm texture in my pussy!” That was all it took for him.
“Oh God, yes! Holy shit, Jessie… I’m cumming! Oh, God, it’s gonna be a fucking geyser! Oh, fuck yeah! OH, HOOOLYYY FFUUUCKKKIINGG SHHHIIITTT!!!!!!!!” His thrusts against my pussy as he shot rope after rope after rope of cum deep inside of me sent me over the edge. With him still in his high, still cumming inside of me, I couldn’t take it! “Oh, fuck yes, brother! Oh, Alex! Holy FUCK, I’M CUMMING! OH FUCK! OH FUCK! OH FUCK! OH FUUUUUCCCCCKKKK!!!!”
That moment of pure bliss was something I’ll never forget. In between our incomprehensible moans, I saw stars. I was flying high on pure, unrestrained, shameless love with my brother, and I was not coming down any time soon! My body was flooded with the most massive, most absolutely wonderful, most saturating orgasm I have ever experienced. I could feel his orgasm shuddering with mine as we shared our most perfect moment together, our spirits joined as one from now until the end of time.
As he pulled out with a satisfying pop, we struggled to regain our breath. The orgasm literally took the wind out of me! He got up and got a couple of towels from the back. “Come on, baby, we’re all sweaty. Let’s get cleaned up,” he invited. That was not even necessary. I would follow him to the gates of Hell if he asked me to.
We went upstairs to find Mom sitting on the couch. “Well, it’s about time, guys!” she said, turning down the excessively loud volume. “Jesus, what did you guys do, run a marathon? You smell like ass!” she joked as beads of sweat fell onto the carpet off my nose. I always did sweat like a pig. “Oh, by the way, Jessica, I sure do hope you took your pill,” she finished.
“Yes, Mom, I took it,” I said and excused myself to the bathroom.
“I guess I’ll be upstairs, then. You two have fun,” Mom commented as she went upstairs. Just then I looked at my wristwatch. “Wow, Alex! We’ve been making love for three hours!”
His face was shocked, but slowly faded to a smile as he kissed me again. I turned on the water, which could not heat up quickly enough. As I took the towel off, exposing my naked body once more, he smiled again and grabbed my tits. My nips eagerly drew up to meet his fingers as his robe fell off to the ground. He was hard as a rock, and only 15 minutes after the most incredible orgasm of all time! Oh, this is going to be a long day.
We got into the shower, letting the water encapsulate our sweaty bodies. I loved the way his kiss felt in the water, whether it be in the shower or outside in the rain. Our tongues did the dance of lovers, circling each other with grace and finesse as our lips pressed against each other. And with a little pressure, he backed me up to the wall, never breaking the kiss.
His hard cock went into me like a glove, and I moaned with joy at its return. I played with his balls as his head shot into me and found my cervix before coming back out and brushing against my clit. “Oh, yes, brother! Keep fucking me! Yes!” I shouted over the sound of the water against our clapping bodies. I let my legs wrap around his waist, and that was all the incentive he needed for another massive explosion.
“Oh, yes, Jessie! I love your legs! Yes, tighter! Ohhhh, God, it feels so good! Oh, yes, I’m cumming! Oh, fuck! Oh, YEEEESSSSSS!!” he shouted, his incestuous semen shooting deep into me. I loved him so much, so deeply, I wanted every part of me to be his. Yes, that’s what I so desperately wanted, for our bodies to be one, and now here we are. I was fucking my brother, the love of my life, and I loved every second of it. We went from brother and sister a few years ago, to kissing, to full-blown making out, to mutual masturbation, to fucking each other’s brains out. What a wild ride. Just the thought of it… and now seeing him here, puncturing my love box… oh, God, here it comes!
“Oh, fuck, brother! Oh, fuck, Alex! I love you so much! Oh, shit, I’m cum-- AAAAHHHHHH!!!!” I couldn’t even finish my statement before my pussy’s grip tightened and I shot into sexual Nirvana for the second time today. I clutched my brother hard as his cock thrust into me at hyper-speed. I never wanted to let go! The sheer, unadulterated bliss of it all, oh fuck!
We dried ourselves off but didn’t do anything except grope for the rest of the night. We were both perfectly satisfied. That was easily the best day of our lives. Our bodies were finally joined in one beautiful package, and I reveled in it. I loved him so much.
We awoke the next day, only to find ourselves in that same spot that we just had sex in the night before. It turned me on so much! “Oh, Alex… can we do it again?” I said to my brother as he awoke, naked and groggy. “Oh, Jess, you don’t have to tell me twice,” he muttered in his tired state as he pulled me back down. “But first, I need to wake up. Why don’t you go get us some drinks?” I obliged and threw on a shirt and boy-shorts and went upstairs. I got some ginger-ale out of the fridge and went back down to him with a cup.
“Thanks, hun,” he whispered. God, I loved that! He called me hun! “You’re welcome, hun,” I said back to him. I saw a smile creep over his face before he wrestled me down to the bed. Although we were now lovers, we were also siblings, and like all other siblings, we roughhoused. It was sort of a way of life for most siblings, really. He tucked my arms at my side, his hands easily gaining control of me. “Aww, shucks, you have me in a bind, baby,” I whimpered jokingly. He put his face just barely out of reach. God, I wanted to kiss him so badly! I was so hot! I lashed out my tongue, which just clipped his nose. “Ugh, gross! You got your spit all over me!” he retorted.
“Shut up and kiss me!” I barked back, struggling against his firm grip. His cock brushed lightly against my pussy, driving me crazy! “Come on, brother! You’re making me insane, here! Fuck me, please!”
“Hmm… I don’t know, Jessie…” he started, his face just out of reach of my eager tongue. “Oh, alright…”
His mouth fell into mine and my tongue raced all over its interior as his hands unbounded me, grazing my tits. My arm quickly wrapped around his back while the other one found his stick shift. “Oh, yes, just like that!” he whimpered before I released my grip.
“Hey-- no fair!” he snapped. “And what did I do to deserve that?!”
“You hadn’t licked my nipples yet, silly!” I quickly retorted, licking his nose again. He smiled as his head went down to my left nipple. I felt a sharp feeling of pleasure as his tongue danced around the areola. He moved to my right, performing a similar acrobatic dance with his tongue. I grabbed his head and brought it up to mine, kissing him passionately and deeply as we had done many times before. “Now fuck me, brother! Fuck your sister again!”
And so he obliged once more, fucking me missionary. As I approached another mind-blowing orgasm, I shouted for the inevitable wave of pleasure. “Oh, fuck! Here it comes! I’m cumming! Oh, God, I’m C-U-U-M-M-M-M-I-I-N-G!!” My mind exploded with the emotions of a mad woman in love as I was once again overtaken by a heat of passion. Soon after, he shouted the same thing. “Oh, yes, Jessie! I can feel your pussy tighten on me! Oh, here it comes!! I’m CUMMING!! AHHH!!”
That was the third time we made love in less than 24 hours! I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have such a great lover! I had a feeling that our relationship was going to last for a long, long time.
We didn’t have an 18th birthday party. We were satisfied just being there with each other. We still had to go to work, though. Alex and I work at those same places to this day. At the time, he was working the floor in the drums section of the store and I was one the road in a Ford F-350 Wrecker. Our love life couldn’t be better. He and I had been sexually active for about one and a half years, and had been dating for three years. We were perfectly happy together. So I come in to work and my boss has a treat for me, apparently.
“Look, Jessie… you’re a hard worker. You’ve certainly earned my respect as a business partner,” he began as I stood in front of his desk. “And here’s my gift to you. I heard your Jeep’s engine was running a bit rough?” I nodded. It had almost 300,000 miles on it. “Well, look out front.”
In the front of the store rested this old, stripped 1969 Chevy Nova SS. “Open the hood,” my boss said. Inside was a beautiful, brand-new looking 351, with three Jeg’s progressive-linked carburetors, a Holley intake, Edelbrock headers, and enough goodies and polish on it to make any gearhead cream himself. “I married it to a Hurst 4-speed manual. We’re pulling it out of the Nova. It’s got 3,700 miles on it. I thought it would fit in your CJ,” he said, motioning to my Jeep, sitting at the other side of the parking lot.
“Oh, yes! Thank you so much, boss!” I jumped and hugged him gleefully. The engine and transmission package was installed over the weekend, and my truck ran like new. The engine today pumps out 570 horses and 671 pound-feet of torque (All gearheads, PM me if you want my build!). Immediately, I drove the CJ to Alex’s job.
“Alex!! Want to take a break?” I said with a wink.
“Well, Jessie, you know I would, but I can’t. I’m covering for a sick friend of mine,” he said starkly. “Why don’t you go hang out by the guitars?”
So that’s what I did. I played a Gibson Les Paul Custom upside-down (I’m left-handed) that was worth $17,800 that day. It was the most beautiful guitar I’d ever heard. An hour later, Alex comes out. “Follow me,” I said as we got in our trucks.
I went up to this hill where they had a vehicles-only trail that nobody takes. I put the new 351 through its paces, getting my CJ nice and muddy as we raced through the woods. I love off-roading!
We reached this clearing where we parked our trucks on the side and got out. I didn’t waste two seconds before I fell into his arms, kissing him in the cool mountain air. “I missed you so much, baby…” I whispered over the sound of chirping birds.
“Me too… how did you find this place?” he asked.
I honestly don’t know… just stumbled upon it,” I returned, truthfully. He shrugged. “No place to sit down…”
“What about my Jeep?” said Alex. I looked at his Cherokee. Mine didn’t have heating. We walked over and turned on the motor, flipping on the heater. “Have you ever done it in a car?” I asked. He shook his head. I opened up the back door and we both looked inside at the canvas back seat, then back at each other, then back at the seat.
“Oh, FUCK! YES, FUCK ME!! I shouted at the top of my lungs, our moans and grunts echoing as the Jeep’s suspension buckled and rose to meet Alex’s powerful thrusts. My ass stood up straight into the air and my face was down in the seat as he plowed me from behind like an industrial compactor. Every time he thrust into me, my pussy clenched in pure excitement, greeting his cock with its tightening grip on his sex’s shaft. “FUCK! IT FEELS SO GOOD! OH, YEAH! I’M CUMMING! I’M CUMMMMMMIIIIINNNNGGGGGG!!!!” God Himself came down from the heavens to watch as I was overcome by yet another massive orgasm. My body shook violently as my juices spurted all over the back seat. Oh, fuck yes! He never ceases to amaze me!
“God, Jessie… you squirted all over my seat!” he shouted as he pulled out. I was so overtaken, I didn’t even realize that he came inside of me! Shows where my head is at! I blushed upon seeing the stain on the seat. It reeked of our sex in that Jeep. The aroma was so tantalizing! I loved it! “Don’t blush… I’ll clean it up later,” he said.
We left our trucks at that site and continued down a foot path to a clearing, where a beautiful, crystal-clear lake lay hidden. “Oh, God, Jessie… it’s so amazing…”
Evergreen trees stood tall into the clear sky, reflecting off the glistening blue water. Birds were chirping over our heads, singing of our sex we just had 5 minutes ago. A mountain rose at the other end of the lake, blocking off our view from any other signs of humanity. It’s truly the most beautiful scene I’ve ever viewed in my whole life. We sat underneath a tree and gently caressed each other before he took out his pocketknife. “What are you doing?” I asked. He turned to face the tree and carved in, “J+A” into a heart in the trunk. We sat under that tree for hours until the sun started to go down. Then we sat there some more and watched as the orange light gleamed off the silky-smooth surface of the water.
We made love for 3 years in total. Today, we’re both attending the same college, still living in the same house. We both have the same jobs, respectively. He became a supervisor of the department in the store, assigning employees in the percussion division. I applied for and received my CDL and now drive a 20-ton wrecker. If you live in my neck of the woods in Montana and have had any problem with your SUV or truck and needed a tow, there’s a 1/5 chance I towed you.
We still play on our Xbox every day. My Xbox is on right now! We also regularly make love, date, etc. just like any other couple. Mom moved back to California after Grandma retired. She took over Grandma’s restaurant and handles hundreds of customers a day. Every month or so, she comes back to visit Alex and I at our house. She doesn’t have much of a problem with us kissing anymore. I guess it’s because we’re a bit more grown up, at 19 years old apiece. Our relationship is still under-wraps to most of the outside world, except for 1 family friend and our best friend, who walked in on us (ouch).
Our future is a bit up in the air, but we have a basic layout of it. We want to move somewhere far away, where nobody knows us. We want to get engaged and married -- not legally, just symbolically. Most people would consider us a married couple that way. Eventually, once we’re more financially stable, we want to raise children of our own. We’re not going to be hypocrites and tell them that incest is evil, but we’re also not going to encourage it, as it is for the best that our kids branch out so they don’t have any societal problems like ours. And then we’ll grow old together and I’ll pick up knitting or some shit… no, probably not. But whatever the future holds, we’re going to tackle it together, Alex and I. He’s my brother, my lover, my heart and my soul, and I love him with all my being.