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Men
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
And the personal favorite:
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)


Some more for the ladies
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."
And they say blondes are dumb...
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manual."
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92 comments

pravus18Report

2013-07-09 23:33:38
Im a man and i found this super funny im jot married or anything so i dont know about my wife trying to kill me but this thing described my step dad to thy letter which is amazing :)

anonymous readerReport

2013-01-31 21:50:48
anonymous reader
2012-04-11 23:05:32
you are right im a man and i find this funny as hell

anonymous readerReport

2012-12-23 00:38:38
For every man getting offended, well...do I need explanation?
And for every man who found this funny, you're the one getting laid tonight.

anonymous readerReport

2012-09-21 19:06:35
I really laughed at these jokes.. Ofcourse.. Nobody is perfect. Being a man i do admit that i behave dumb sometimes where my girlfriend behaves pretty smart.

anonymous readerReport

2012-07-10 04:05:12
omg most of those are true. i'm athiest so i dont pray to god for shit let alone for things that might make my husband a bit less of a pain in the ass. and i already have the strength to kill him. it's a wonder i havn't yet. wish him luck

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