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Tell me if it's any good, it's my first story.
  Chapter 1
        Marvin opened the door for the hooker he'd called just five minutes ago. He looked her over, pleased at what he saw. She was about 5'6", with a slim body, voluptuous curves, and breasts that were easily fake, probably about F-cups. The blonde wore a shirt that showed immense cleavage, and a mini skirt that revealed perfectly toned legs. She flashed a seductive smile.
         "Yes, I am Marvin."
         She walked in and immediately took off her revealing v-neck. A tight pink bra with frilly edges popped out, revealing even more cleavage.
         "Shall we get started?" She asked, pulling at her bra.
         "How about some refreshments beforehand? I get awfully tired banging such beautiful women."
          She smiled, "Got any Buds?"
          "Sure," he said, going to the fridge.

          A few minutes later he came out with a bottle of Coors and a Budweiser. He picked up the Coors and took a gulp. The hooker did the same with the Bud. Marvin watched her carefully as she drank.
         "What's your name?" he asked.
         "Candice," she replied.
         They continued small talk until both beers were gone. Then, as if by some mental agreement Candice tugged her bra off, and Marvin's shirt and pants came off. The hooker revealed perfectly tanned spherical melons that had seductively small nipples. Marvin got hard, and Candice started to get up, when suddenly, she became very rigid. Her eyes glossed over slightly, and her arms flopped to her sides. Her mouth opened slightly, and she made no other movements.

         So it works! thought Marvin The control drug works!
         He conducted a test to make sure.
         "Candice, give me your car keys."
         She pulled them out of her purse and without hesitation gave them.
         "Now tell me your credit card number"
         She told it, in a drone-like voice.
          Marvin's heart raced now. After years of testing and modifying, he now controlled a human's life. And a beautiful woman's life too.
         "Candice, suck my dick," he demanded, pulling out his long dick. Without question, his slave crawled over and began licking the head of his penis. She ran her tongue over the large head, making Marvin let out a small groan. Then she put the whole dick in her mouth, and took the entire 9" shaft in her mouth, sending it down her throat. She held it there for a second, the pulled her head back. Immediately, he grabbed her ponytail and forced her face into his dick. Then he pulled on the ponytail, repeating the process faster and faster, until her head was a blur, and there was a smack every time her head hit his body. He had her suck dick for an hour. He came six times, each time commanding her to clean his dick and swallow the semen. He only stopped because her face was turning purple from the small amount of air she was able to intake. He didn't want her gone yet.
         "Take off your panties," he said. She obliged.
         "Now put your pussy in my dick and fuck."
          He laid down, and she got on top and carefully inserted his dick onto a perfectly shaved snatch. They both groaned pleasurably at the insertion. Then the slave slowly ground her hips, going up and down on his penis. As she got going faster, her gigantic melons bounced up and down on the body, as if they were only hanging onto her chest by a thread. Her pussy juices dripped down his dick, and soon both came, with Marvin's cum shooting into Candice's pussy. Then the slave began fucking faster, making a loud squelching sound every time her ass came down onto his legs. Marvin forced her to fuck him until he had came another three times. Then he made her lick all the juices from his body.  
         By the time she was done, the drugged slave lay on the floor exhausted. She had continually fucked two hours straight, and her muscles ached with every movement. Marvin, however, was excited, with the knowledge that his lifelong goal was achieved. He jumped up, quickly got dressed, and, after telling the slave to stay, he took some of the control drug with him into the hooker's Prius. He took the keys, and drove off to Carl Douglass High School. 3:15. School was about to end. For one girl, it would end permanently....

Chapter 2
         Gina Martinez was easily the most popular girl in school, even though she was only a sophomore. Her train of followers was easy proof. She took no boyfriend, even though many guys saw her as the top prospect on their list, and she only allowed a select few to eat at her table. She walked out of Carl Douglass High School with effortless grace, with her followers clumsily following like lemmings.
         "Amber, Sydney, and Rachel! Follow me," she commanded. The four of then walked behind the school, while the rest of her posse looked on. The selected three looked quizzically at Gina.
         "....Well, take of your shirts," she said. Amber did immediately, while Sydney and Rachel were hesitant. They stood before her in white bras and short shorts, as she inspected them. Then, she took her own shirt off, and undid the clasp on her pink bra to reveal to her three girls round breasts that made them all get wet.
         "Who wants to lick them first?" she asked.
          Amber raised her hand.
          "Take your bra and shorts off then, Amber," Gina demanded. Amber took them off. Her breasts were less impressive-they weren't nearly as big-but Gina took them in her hands and squeezed them. Amber groaned.
         "Lick my boobies, Amber."
        Amber put her tongue on Gina's left nipple, wiggling it around until the nipple was hard. Then she began to suck on the breast. With one hand she held the other boob, and with the other she rubbed Gina's clit. Gina groaned and threw her head back, delighted by the sensations. She pulled Amber's head up, and kissed her passionately....

         After Amber was done, giving all in attendance orgasms, Gina looked up and asked, "Who's next?"

         Marvin spotted the perfect girl coming out from behind the high school. She was Hispanic, with flowing black hair and an angled face. She had breasts that looked to be D's, and an athletic body that almost certainly had perfect hips. Yep, she was the one.
         He rolled the window down. He heard the girl's name when one of her friends called out, "Bye, Gina!" as she walked away. He drove up beside her.
         "Are you Gina?" he asked.
         She looked at him strangely, "Yeah, why?"
         "I'm supposed to take you home," he said.
         "Why? My mom..."
         "Your mom called just five minutes ago and said I'm supposed to take you home."
         "How do you know my mother?"
         "Coworker. Get in."
         Puzzled, she got in the back. Marvin smiled to himself, then turned around to look at his prey.
         "Coke?" he asked, showing an already opened Coca-Cola can.
         "Sure," she said, taking it and chugging half the cola in one breath.
         By the end of the ride to his house, Gina had the same glossy eyes and minimal movement that Candice had. Two hot slave girls. This was going to be fun.

anonymous readerReport

2011-10-29 22:05:56
Way to use the internet to help people solve poreblms!

anonymous readerReport

2011-07-08 19:01:31
Good concept, not too good story. Few to none grammar issues

Anonymous readerReport

2011-07-06 13:39:50
Too short, predictable, and characters were shallow.

anonymous readerReport

2011-07-06 05:09:31
I want moar!! Not bad for your first story .. I have a few request though ... Make the stories longer and a bit more detail other then that it was very good

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