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An invitation to a royal wedding leads to much cumming
It’s a well known fact that the royal family is full of douchebags. That’s why Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino found himself invited to the royal wedding of the future king and queen of England, William and Kate. As usual, he wanted to get himself a piece of ass that night, and by god was there an ass that everyone was talking about: Pippa, Kate’s sister. Wearing his trademark aviator sunglasses, he strode through the crowd, his wingman DJ Pauly D at his side. Cameras were flashing all around. The noise was incredible.
“One of us has got to get Pippa, man,” Mike managed to yell to Pauly.
“Yeah buddy!” Pauly shouted enthusiastically, who wasn’t wearing a shirt.

Much to their luck, they saw Pippa standing there – all by her sweet self. She was glancing around, smiling slightly uncomfortably, but looking stunning nonetheless. The crowd was in a royal frenzy, and many perverted-looking old British men were seen amongst the onlookers. There were looking at Pippa and licking their lips provokingly. One was even holding a condom, waving it slowly in the air so she would notice. It was hard to tell in the crowd but they all had erections of gigantic proportions, except for the truly older men who, rather sadly, couldn't maintain one anymore. Pippa looked like she needed a friendly encouraging pat on the back. How would the Jersey boys manage this situation? Who would get to tap dat fine piece of shapely ass?

As soon as the guests entered the royal entrance hall, Mike got right in there, and, as per his normal practice, aggressively picked her up and proceeded to dry hump her in the middle of the room. A small crowd surrounded them, each dignified observer smiling in appreciation. A fine touch of entertainment to start the proceedings.Pippa giggled. She’d wanted some hot guido dick to pound her out. And The Situation was a strong man who would gladly fill her cunt. But Pauly was playing the better game that night, his bare chest capturing Pippa’s attention, as the Situation continued to thrust provocatively. 

“Oh, who’s your friend?” Pippa asked with a smile. 

Somewhat horny, the Situation let her down, and introduced Pauly D to Pippa. They hit if off immediately. As they chatted, the Queen herself walked over, giving Pippa’s ass a little slap as she arrived, causing Pippa to start and give a sexy little yelp. 

“Firm ass, that one,” the queen said, winking. 

“It is, isn’t it? I was just humping her,” replied the Situation. 

“Oh yes, I saw that,” the queen said with an approving smile. 

“Looks like you’ve gotta catch the grenade, man!” Pauly whispered in Mike’s ear.

The Situation smiled knowingly. He knew that this, in fact, was no grenade. This was to be a proper situation, the crowning situation of the Situation – the situation to end all situations. He was going to conquer that royal poonani with an erection the size of the tower of London, an erection that was dying to be released, an erection that would die gladly for queen and country. Mike had occasionally thought about banging the Queen, way back when he was a small boy. In fact, his very first wank was actually over the depiction of the Queen a bank note, though this was mainly due to the fact that there was no other suitable wanking material available at the time.

Always one to move things along quickly, the Situation asked the queen if she wanted to head back to his pad and jump in the jacuzzi, but in an interesting turn of events the queen mentioned that had her own jacuzi, a big royal jacuzzi in Buckingham palace. 

“It’s filled with pussy juice – royal pussy juice,” she explained. “It acts as an aphrodisiac.” 

"A fine idea indeed!" the Situation exclaimed. He remembered back a year ago when he had tried to do the same but with his semen. For some reason the jizz bath had never caught on with girls he brought back from the clubs. It wasn't quite the same without girls present when Pauly, Vinny, Ronnie and The Situation were all squeezed into the bubbling, thick gooey bath. It was easy to keep the semen at a good level, because each of them would take turns jacking off while they were in the bath. None of the men liked to put their head under the goo, so they often played a drinking game where the last one to dunk would have to drink. But back to our story. Unphased by the Queen's comment, the Situation followed the queen to her royal abode, penis straining against trousers. Finally there, the Situation and the queen stripped down to their underwear. The queen was wearing a sexy purple lace bra and matching panties, while the Situation was wearing boxers with a picture of his own dick on them, with a speech bubble coming off his wang saying “I love the Situation.” Very soon the queen would love the Situation too, he mused.

“Nice underwear,” the queen remarked. “Nice phallus, too.”

Suddenly and unexpectedly, the Situation’s gigantic horse cock burst out of his boxers, spraying semen everywhere. The queen received a thick white coating, but not before she gulped down several gallons. Purest white, the queen rubbed the semen into her wrinkles – a tactic she often used to age so well.

"Good lord," The Queen said, impressed.

The Situation nodded, then looked down at his penis. It was soft, wet and flapping slightly from side to side. The Queen lunged, surprisingly quickly for her age, and gobbled it up. She stuffed all the cock into her gaping mouth hungrily, and sucked on it with conviction.

"Whoa," exclaimed the Situation, surprised. "You royal whore!"

Pop! came the phallus out of the queen's heavily creased mouth. Her eyes darted up and she spoke carefully.

"Shut up - or harden up."

She quickly ducked her head and took all the cock again. The queen sucked and licked the Situation's fabulous specimen. What a dick this was, she thought. It was long and thick, heavily veined, and had a small mole near the top of the foreskin. She noisily licked the foreskin all over, then pulled it down carefully and cleaned out the area around the head. It had flavor - that was for sure. She was enjoying this. O, what a simple joy it is to suck another's phallus! She mused. It occurred to her that she might do well to write a poem on the subject.

 At that moment Pippa, who was exploring the building, happened to glance into the room. What she saw was a peculiar, ivory-white sperm encrusted naked old woman giving Jersey Shore's the Situation the best head of his life. She became immensely turned on, and as she approached, she realised it was in fact the queen herself. Well, well, well, she thought to herself, eyes twinkling. These two rascals know how to have fun. "Threesome?" She asked the pair.

Both glanced over at Pippa, then towards the royal jacuzzi, which was steaming away in view outside.
"Good thinking," Pippa said enthusiastically. They walked over and plunged in, both women squealing. The Situation caught a view of the royal poonani on the way over.

It reminded him of an ancient prune found deep in the driest desert, covered in hardened semen.

This situation was getting far too hot for words.

Before he knew it, Mike's penis slithered and snaked its way towards the royal prune. Like a homing device, it knew where to deposit its enormous load of luxurious, gleaming, spicy semen. But that would be the glorious end to a most extraordinary journey. Indeed, back in Jersey, the Situation was sometimes known as the Indiana Jones of exploring... cunt. Tales were told of his remarkable abilty to last in bed. By Joves, it was something to tell the grandchildren about. His penis extruded slowly like a crawling vine, entered the queens prune with much difficulty, and he immediately ejaculated.

'Oh shit.' Said the Situation.

Pippa squealed like a new born kitten. She was a sex kitten, after all, and had always wanted to star in many pornos. Pippa teabagged the Situation. The Queen looked on approvingly, a rich smile covering her face.

'Come on baby. Get hard for me again,' she said, fingering her anus.

But suddenly a large, unknown object cannonballed into the pool, suprising every sexual being inside. It was that cunt Pauly D, representing himself, like usual (but not all Italians).

'What up faggots?'

'Just taking a pussy juice bath while being teabagged and cumming prematurely', replied the Situation.

They arranged into a circle, males facing females. Pippa grabbed Sitch's cock, while the queen grabbed Pauly's. Pauly presented some anal beads he had been concealing previously within his own anus. The queen nodded regally, hoping she would be the lucky girl. She was. The beads were inserted. The pleasure was intense. The queen moaned. Pauly ejaculated. Pippa smiled. The Situation indicated to Pauly that he would like the beads inserted. Pauly did the honours, straddling his back, his penis rock hard against the Sitch's spine. He hurriedly inserted the beads, ejaculating all the while. The situation ejaculated. The queen's dick grew hard. Pippa began sucking on the queens anus. All dicks in the pool ejaculated simultaneously, turning the pool into a cum bath. Everyone drowned.

The End

anonymous readerReport

2012-02-04 18:57:13
hahahahahaha yeah buddy

anonymous readerReport

2012-02-02 00:01:55
fucking serious people! good one gave me a good laugh, these mother fuckers need a sense of humor

anonymous readerReport

2011-09-08 19:23:03
Worst story every. I feel sorry for who ever has to share a bed with you. Ur dog maybe?

anonymous readerReport

2011-08-27 02:46:09
I just laughed so. Fucking. Hard. Perfection omfg

anonymous readerReport

2011-08-27 02:16:21
Just the fact you want to write about this douche-bag makes me sad for the human soul.

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