Hullo, my name is Tajacamoe. More like Jeff. Last week i went to my poor friend ryan's house. His sexy younger sister was so banging that she could honestly turn tjat faggot Howie Mandell straight cause hes probably queer. Me and ryan were watching some hardcore knockoff porn of disneys bambi when we started doing some firehose coccaine. Ryan, being a pussè started shaking and tweeking out so i went to the bedroom next to his. Inside was his sister, Kandi. She was shaving her coochie when i barged in.
"HOLY COCKSANDWICH," she yelled.
"Shut the fuck up bitch," yelled and slapped her to calm her down.
"I think i put a towel on my poon," she nervously said.
"Allow me," i said in a badass james bond kind of way that would moisten any hetro female in a six mile radius. (by the way is a straight girl called hetro? Cause it feels weird typing it."
Dripping from the phrase i previously announced, that slut performed an olympic dive towards my slong, but instead of diving, her mouth went on my weiner. For a jap or chink that slut could take my cock. She craved my slong like honor for her family and sweet and sour dog. She kept on screaming weird exotic asian phrases like "thasmystinktube" and "stopbangingmyslophole".
When i finished she said my ejaculant tasted like miso soup so I punched her. Then she made me a sandwich and I told her Ryan probably died so she went to give him love long time and I left.
I walked three blocks towards the not black part of town to see my friend Moore. I knocked on the door and was greeted by some milf who dressed in a cheetah outfit, practically begging for a dong inside her slit.
"Who are you," that snobby slut said to me.
"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU," I said right back to that twat bitch.
"Im the fucking home owner," the woman responded like I gave two shits.
"Where the he'll is Moore," I asked as polite one could ask a question to a complete cunt. Bitch. Asshole.
"Obvious not home fuckstick, " she replied.
Finally I fucking opened that door and bent that hoe over for punishment. As I pushed her to her knees I found she knowingly embraced my dick which was odd. Seconds later I found myself skull fucking the milf, when Moore opened the front door. He was all like "Wtf mate," so I punched him in his gooch and ran like hell back to ryan's for safety. I called him to the porch and told him, were going to pick up Katie and Lauren to go see that new faggy movie with the dolphin tail and Morgan Freeman.
Ryan abruptly stopped me to tell me Lauren can suck it, he wants Paige there. Now Paige is about five foot nothing, four hundred pounds. Me and Ryan walked and picked up Katie and she came with us to the fucking kfc to go get Paige. I had to put my stiletto knife to that fat whore to get her to come with us but she did because her and Ryan are in love. We got in the theater and Katie sat to my left, Ryan to my right and Paige was in the other four seats to ryan's right. Immediately I got a boner from Angelina Jolie in a promo a Katie began giving me a foot job somehow.don't fucking question how that's possible, it fucking happened. Paige felt jealous so she maneuvered her slob of human gelatin to position her body to reach ryan's vag with her hand and she began fingering him. With no one else in the theater, we all moved to different aisles to have warm sweaty sex. I was intensely pounding the walls of Katie but I could 'plode in her because I heard groans from the other side of the theater.
I had to stop slamming Katie because she did not have insurance and I couldn't continue cause she would have needed a hospital admission if I stayed erect. I decide to go wash my wiener off in the bathroom and glanced at the room and saw Paige unconscious on top of Ryan. After I assembled a crew of six men and a school bus of retarded children, we finally had enough strength to push the mass of raw human efulage that was Paige off my friend. Ryan had no heartbeat and had to be rushed to the ER. The Nurse, Sherman, told me the city news. (read city like an asian would)
"He had no oxygen reaching his cunting head for nine minutes," she sadly said to me.
"Great, but I fucking asked if I could take a shit in that bathroom, not the prognosis you cunt, if I wanted to know what was wrong with Ryan, I'd ask a man." I replied.
"Nurse sherman, we need you in the ER quickly, this patient Matt has a sheep lodged on his penis, anally of course," was called on the intercom.
I left that depressing shithole and saw Brie walking home. I called her over and we started ripping each other clothes off. She took off my mesh thong and I took her spent maxipad off. We began the dirty sex on the street and she asked me to stick it in her pooper. I explained that I go by "assholes are for shitting and nutin else" but that I'd stick it in her shitlocker this one time for fun only. After ninety minutes of hardcore, unlubricated anal sex I donkey punched her sixteen times and creamed that hoe like Ben & Jerry's. She then shoved her left thumb up her poopshoot and then took my nut butter and liked it so I pulled out my bernelli super Vinci and made her eat the barrel and I blew her brains on the floor cause that shit is gross. Rele gross.
Then I walked past the crystal meth lab and saw Pizzels masturbating fiercely until his dick bleed and he had to use paper towels to clean it up.
Lastly I stopped at Sam gloffenators house to karate chop her in the throat for being chunky. But then I also had sex with her neighbor Katy Perry. I got a tit job and I jazzed on her hair. Her nipples were like nick minaj's nipples. Then I kicked a Jew down a well and set fire to a children's hospital while singing Mac millers Frick park market. And I chainsawed a Canadian to death. And had sex with a preschooler.